whynot: hockey: stay warm in the wintertime (first line)
Lassiter ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2015-03-22 11:10 pm

enough kindness to gut you straight through

Most of the background of this happened in an email, which I'll collate and post later, but I think you can get it without context.

HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD SMITH IN OTTAWA I JSUT!!!!!!! smith. SMITTY. SMITTY HAS THE MEEPS!!!! like what do you even say, as a linemate, except i guess "you'll get them next time" but do you ever get exhausted and cutting. Y'KNOW?? Bergy will probably be more even-keeled, but in the fic, Marchand makes some offhanded cutting remark, just something in passing. But everything has been settling in Reilly's head lately, refusing to leave. Every mistake, every reprimand from Claude, every encouragement from Bergy in the locker room, and the rise and fall of the crowd's cheers. And like, when Bergy came and found him after the game to talk to him mano a mano, and Reilly just felt like a reprimanded child. He's becoming thin-skinned. Bergy's his linemate, his center, so he's got Reilly's back, and he's earnest and reassuring, and tired, so very tired and just carrying on through it, and Reilly is getting sick of the way his teammates look at him sometimes. He's not what they think he is, whatever it is, whatever puts the hesitant look on their faces.

He doesn't know how to get out of this.

Marchy's easy. Here's the thing, Reilly knows what to expect out of his linemates. Bergy will want to fix it all, and he'll know he can't, so he makes up for it with enough kindness to gut you straight through. Marchy though, Reilly can just knock on his door. Marchy may or make not take his time opening it, and Reilly starts chirping him through the door about it, and they're already exchanging toothless barbs when he finally deigns to open the door. He starts making some comment about the game, and Reilly says, "I don't wanna talk about Ottawa."

"I don't blame you," Marchy says, because he can't fucking help himself, the little shit. Anyway, Reilly isn't really paying attention because he has backed Marchand up against a wall and they're making out now, so.

THE OTHER THIIIING is that if Bergy ever tried it with Reilly, Reilly'd say yes. Bergy's married and nothing's ever gonna happen, so Reilly tries not to think about it. But sometimes he does.

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