No, you did a good job of squeezing her in, I just had this image in my head Susan going out; shoping or studying or whatever, and Lucy walks in on the boys kissing, presssed up against the wall clawing at eachother's clothes and of course they break apart when they see her and eveyone's stumbling over apologies and she tries to back out but Peter grabs her arm "I'm sorry, Lu-" "Don't be sorry. I'm not an idiot, and I'm not a child. I remember Peter. And I know whatever this is, it isn't the same thing and I get that but-" and that's about where he kisses her. Of course, Edmund is there and sex ensues and so the fourth time she losses her virginty it to Edmund and Peter, though technically Peter and afterwards they lie wrapped up in bed and Lucy reads poetry like it's the most romantic love ever and when Susan comes home and finds Lucy asleep in Peter's bed, there's a strange sense of relief, not because they felt like they were missing anything, more like they diddn't realize they were missing something until they were already compleate and it always would be the four of them.

Lucy/Peter FTW!

I think there is a dearth of good Narnia fics in general, so I don't really know what to tell you there.

Yes, I've read it and am very excited about it. :D