This is beautiful. You really captured the spirit of Narnia here, and I like your take on Susan. The meeting with Aslan toward the end, and the last line, just fit so well and I love your descriptions.
She wouldn’t have done so, once upon a time, but death has washed the grit of life from her bones
I love that line the most. Really that whole paragraph. And,
“Appointments!” he cries out. “Oh, you are an old woman.” “I did spend the past many years as one,” she replies, amused.
That's just cute. And it's Narnia, so it can't be all serious — it just wouldn't work — and it needs little moments like that.
The way that each of the siblings has a different approach to Aslan's Country, but Susan finds it enough just to be there, is special and sort of smacks of how her years here without her siblings and without Narnia or believing in Narnia (at least for a while) must have been.
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She wouldn’t have done so, once upon a time, but death has washed the grit of life from her bones
I love that line the most. Really that whole paragraph. And,
“Appointments!” he cries out. “Oh, you are an old woman.”
“I did spend the past many years as one,” she replies, amused.
That's just cute. And it's Narnia, so it can't be all serious — it just wouldn't work — and it needs little moments like that.
The way that each of the siblings has a different approach to Aslan's Country, but Susan finds it enough just to be there, is special and sort of smacks of how her years here without her siblings and without Narnia or believing in Narnia (at least for a while) must have been.
TL;DR: I love this! :D