I, however, am bad at happy endings. So, more backpacking adventures of Bradley!
Things Bradley never thought he would do
1. Get an infected cut from a fruit. Specifically, the durian. Okay, so it was spiky, just the spikes didn't look that sharp. And then... yeah. Apparently they call durian the king of fruit, and hell motherfucking yeah, that is one motherfucking king of fruit. Smells like toilet, too. Tastes awesome, though. Thanks, Malaysia.
2. Say the words, "No, I would not like to eat the duck fetus, but thanks." Really, this should go without saying. Thanks, Philippines.
3. Go tobogganing indoors in the middle of summer in a tropical country. It was the best thing about the Dreamworld theme park, which he didn't even want to go to, but the expat he met in some fancy Bangkok lounge insisted they go for shits and giggles, and the guy smiled like Angel and blushed like Colin and rolled his eyes like Katie, so how could Bradley resist? Thanks, Thailand.
4. Eat deep-fried chicken intestines. To be fair, Bradley thought they were regular crisps. Anyway, they were delicious. Thanks, Indonesia.
"YOU WHAT," Katie capslocks at him. "THAT IS STUPID JAMES REALLY STUPID."
"i wasnt going to get caught," Bradley replies.
But Katie just capslocks on and on at him, and Bradley drinks his bottled tea and watches in amusement as the chat window scrolls. The only other people in the internet cafe are two teenagers playing some online game and a South Asian guy writing an email.
"HAVE YOU WATCHED RETURN TO PARADISE," Katie rages. "DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID TO JOAQUIN PHOENIX."
Bradley types, "that film sux."
"YOUR FACE SUX. STOP DOING DRUGS IN SOUTHEAST ASIA."
"yes mum."
"HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BALI NINE."
"no."
"SCHAPPELLE CORBY."
"no."
"HOW ABOUT THAT GUY THAT THE PRISON GUARDS SOMETIEMS MADE STAND CHIN-DEEP IN THE CESSPOOL FOR THE HELL OF IT."
"wtf mcgrath."
"I AM SREIOUS."
"ur a loony."
"ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW."
"loony mcgrath."
"FUCK YOU."
"lol."
But then the guy Bradley was buying stuff off of gets nabbed by the cops, so Bradley thinks it's best to change his ticket and leave a bit early. He takes the red-eye from Soekarno Hatta International and watches the lights of Jakarta twinkle and shrink and fade.
"Refreshment for you, sir?" the stewardess smiles.
no subject
Things Bradley never thought he would do
1. Get an infected cut from a fruit. Specifically, the durian. Okay, so it was spiky, just the spikes didn't look that sharp. And then... yeah. Apparently they call durian the king of fruit, and hell motherfucking yeah, that is one motherfucking king of fruit. Smells like toilet, too. Tastes awesome, though. Thanks, Malaysia.
2. Say the words, "No, I would not like to eat the duck fetus, but thanks." Really, this should go without saying. Thanks, Philippines.
3. Go tobogganing indoors in the middle of summer in a tropical country. It was the best thing about the Dreamworld theme park, which he didn't even want to go to, but the expat he met in some fancy Bangkok lounge insisted they go for shits and giggles, and the guy smiled like Angel and blushed like Colin and rolled his eyes like Katie, so how could Bradley resist? Thanks, Thailand.
4. Eat deep-fried chicken intestines. To be fair, Bradley thought they were regular crisps. Anyway, they were delicious. Thanks, Indonesia.
"YOU WHAT," Katie capslocks at him. "THAT IS STUPID JAMES REALLY STUPID."
"i wasnt going to get caught," Bradley replies.
But Katie just capslocks on and on at him, and Bradley drinks his bottled tea and watches in amusement as the chat window scrolls. The only other people in the internet cafe are two teenagers playing some online game and a South Asian guy writing an email.
"HAVE YOU WATCHED RETURN TO PARADISE," Katie rages. "DID YOU SEE WHAT THEY DID TO JOAQUIN PHOENIX."
Bradley types, "that film sux."
"YOUR FACE SUX. STOP DOING DRUGS IN SOUTHEAST ASIA."
"yes mum."
"HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE BALI NINE."
"no."
"SCHAPPELLE CORBY."
"no."
"HOW ABOUT THAT GUY THAT THE PRISON GUARDS SOMETIEMS MADE STAND CHIN-DEEP IN THE CESSPOOL FOR THE HELL OF IT."
"wtf mcgrath."
"I AM SREIOUS."
"ur a loony."
"ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW."
"loony mcgrath."
"FUCK YOU."
"lol."
But then the guy Bradley was buying stuff off of gets nabbed by the cops, so Bradley thinks it's best to change his ticket and leave a bit early. He takes the red-eye from Soekarno Hatta International and watches the lights of Jakarta twinkle and shrink and fade.
"Refreshment for you, sir?" the stewardess smiles.
Bradley smiles back. He asks for a Sprite.