OMG LASS THAT WAS THE SORT OF THING I WAS THINKING OF. Wow. That's... well, damn. You're always a good writer.
how weird is it that I felt kind of guilty for writing about downtrodden female characters
It's a funny thing that fantasy and fandom train us into, instinctively favouring Strong Women (and Strong Women is always defined on western-masculine lines). I'd say your grandmother sounds pretty damn awesome, and I like the way you've written your mother. Makes me wonder if she and *my* mother would get along.
What did you do wrong? What failure in your motherhood has led your children to be unable to see the obvious presence of God? It hurts to have her children shun something that, in the past, has been the only thing to keep her afloat.
Yes, that. I don't know if that's my mother's feelings or just what I expect from her. There's no space to express it, in our family - my father's a lifelong atheist, my brother has been more-or-less atheist for years, and when I defected, there's not much mum can say. Maybe it doesn't bother her (she married an atheist, after all), but it bothers *me*. I gave her confirmation cross back. I think she thought I wanted to get rid of all the trappings of my past faith. I thought I didn't deserve to keep and wear something her grandmother gave to her and she gave to me, that I'd betrayed something there and the only thing I could do was to give it back.
I suspect both my parents are wondering what they did to get TWO non-gender-conformist queer kids (not that my brother has Officially Outed himself yet, but it's hard to miss). My mother keeps asking me if i've paid off my (minuscule, government-subsidised) undergraduate debt yet, and if I go back to uni how will I buy a house/car/whatever, and won't my (minuscule, government-subsidised) undergrad debt make it harder to buy a house and raise a family?
I keep saying off-handedly that I don't want these things - because it seems OBVIOUS to me - and now I'm realising that to my mother, it looks frivolous and irresponsible to off-handedly say I don't (because doesn't everyone?), and if I try to explain it properly, it comes down to the fact that I don't want and don't value highly all the things she's invested her life in, *to my direct benefit*. That can't be easy for her, and I'm kicking my heels and being bratty and exercising my newfound independence and probably making it worse :s
Re: 2/2
how weird is it that I felt kind of guilty for writing about downtrodden female characters
It's a funny thing that fantasy and fandom train us into, instinctively favouring Strong Women (and Strong Women is always defined on western-masculine lines). I'd say your grandmother sounds pretty damn awesome, and I like the way you've written your mother. Makes me wonder if she and *my* mother would get along.
What did you do wrong? What failure in your motherhood has led your children to be unable to see the obvious presence of God? It hurts to have her children shun something that, in the past, has been the only thing to keep her afloat.
Yes, that. I don't know if that's my mother's feelings or just what I expect from her. There's no space to express it, in our family - my father's a lifelong atheist, my brother has been more-or-less atheist for years, and when I defected, there's not much mum can say. Maybe it doesn't bother her (she married an atheist, after all), but it bothers *me*. I gave her confirmation cross back. I think she thought I wanted to get rid of all the trappings of my past faith. I thought I didn't deserve to keep and wear something her grandmother gave to her and she gave to me, that I'd betrayed something there and the only thing I could do was to give it back.
I suspect both my parents are wondering what they did to get TWO non-gender-conformist queer kids (not that my brother has Officially Outed himself yet, but it's hard to miss). My mother keeps asking me if i've paid off my (minuscule, government-subsidised) undergraduate debt yet, and if I go back to uni how will I buy a house/car/whatever, and won't my (minuscule, government-subsidised) undergrad debt make it harder to buy a house and raise a family?
I keep saying off-handedly that I don't want these things - because it seems OBVIOUS to me - and now I'm realising that to my mother, it looks frivolous and irresponsible to off-handedly say I don't (because doesn't everyone?), and if I try to explain it properly, it comes down to the fact that I don't want and don't value highly all the things she's invested her life in, *to my direct benefit*. That can't be easy for her, and I'm kicking my heels and being bratty and exercising my newfound independence and probably making it worse :s
~
Aaanyway. Thanks for this, Lass. :)