Thanks so much! I don't often make public personal posts, so I'm really chuffed by the reaction this is getting.

Both my parents are Indonesian actually, but my dad relocated us to the Philippines when I was a kid for a job.

I have relatives that marry out of their religion and there definitely have been tensions. I wonder how much of it self-fulfilling prophecy, and how much of self-fulfilling prophecy is just the truth of the matter in Indonesia. (Disclaimer: I don't go back to Indonesia as often as I go back to the Philippines, so my experience is limited there.) The divisions are enforced institutionally in the form of things like compulsory religious classes in school (and you're separated into different classes based on your religion), but are also self-perpetuated by the different religious groups. I was too young at the time to really see how these divisions manifested themselves in my family, and I'm only recently remembering these allusions and recontextualizing them. I've only just begun to be seen as an adult in my extended family, so little by little I'm learning the family lore or whatever, and it's definitely a strange experience.

lol don't be sorry, I find these kinds of discussions to be incredibly fascinating.