"Especially socks," adds Merlin. "Go on, sire, tell him how good I am at washing your socks."

"Shush, you," says Arthur.

Behind them, there is an explosion of clucking and feathers as the fight rolls through the chicken coop.

"You're not so bad for a muggle," Draco says airily to Arthur, "and if you ever tell my father I said that, I'll have your head."