SPN: Wherefore the Elephant Toaster?

[whynot]

Another one from the Casparty. (I miss you so much, Casparty ;___;)

I left the prompt "Team Free Will gets cursed to speak in iambic pentameter." One thing led to another, and suddenly I found myself writing "Team Free Will gets cursed to speak in dadaist poetry." Joke's on me, I guess.


Wherefore the Elephant Toaster?
Supernatural. Sam, Dean, Cas. Rated H for fruit bowl. 233 words.
Team Free Will gets cursed to speak in dadaist poetry. ETA: Now available as podfic, thanks to elsewhere_kels!


Dean drives them up the I-95, and the only sound in the car is Axl Rose wailing about November rain. Axl Rose has been wailing nonstop for an hour now to a rapt audience of tight-lipped Winchesters plus one, and Sam isn't really surprised that Dean doesn't switch the cassette to the other side when this side ends.

The silence stretches on for another a minute.

Sam sighs. Fuck it. A curse is a curse is a curse, but they can't let themselves be beat. Someone has to try. He says, "A grapefruit million chokes--"

"Wattle thesis!" Dean snaps. "Jersey cake my fallopian, the chimney boobie fruit--" He cuts himself off, glaring straight ahead, and Sam watches his jaw clench and unclench.

Sam insists, "Doesn't supine wildebeest--"

"Toothpaste," Dean growls.

"Her similar cake--"

"Toothpaste, softly!"

"But noodles--"

"Toothpaste!" Dean yells, red-faced. "Shoelace the detective, toothpaste!"

Sam raises his eyebrows. "Toothpaste?" he repeats.

"Toothpaste," Dean confirms.

Sam rolls his eyes. His brother can be so stubborn sometimes.

Sam turns his head, looking at Castiel in the backseat. The angel has taken to riding around with them ever since this series of curses started, increasingly worried for the Winchesters's well-being. Not that it has done wonders for Cas's well-being.

"Tiddlywink yokel chorus?" Sam asks.

"A styrofoam hat," Cas replies grimly. "The underwater meerkat ringing."

"Xylophones," Dean mutters under his breath.

Comments

[nixwilliams]

this brings me more glee than perhaps it ought. DADA!

[whynot]

Shampoo!

[niqaeli]

I love this fic like burning. But I think your rating is what I love best.

(I, um, often rate my fic in a similar fashion. So it makes me ridiculously happy to see such a rating out there on someone else's fic.)

[whynot]

Hee, thanks! XD Glad you enjoyed.

[kimboo_york]

This is so awesome, words fail me! By which I mean, telephone banana clipboard. Toothpaste, softly!

♥

[leek]

And a pizza moth ice scraper to you. ♥

Which translates to something like, "This fic brings me immeasurable joy."

[whynot]

Hairbrush eel gummy, and thank you! <3

[doughtier]

Oh, this is HILARIOUS. Poor everybody, avoiding talking!

|Meduza|

[whynot]

Thanks!

Hee, perhaps they should take up charades.

[doughtier]

omfg sequel please, then! XD

|Meduza|

[shayheyred]

Toolbar, jacks flamboyant wistful tupperware!
...which is to say, Jeez, I love your brain!

[whynot]

Tango plastic hootenanny!
Which is to say, thank you. XD

[cantarina]

I'm not sure that it takes the decoder ring to figure out what Dean means by "Xylophones"

Fantastic bit of fic!

[whynot]

Croissant trombone! I mean, thank you. ;)

[evitably]

Hi! I've recced this fic here at rocksalt_recs!

[whynot]

:DDD Thank you!

[janissa11]

Oh jeez, it's cumulative -- it gets funnier each time you read it.

"But noodles--"

Tears, I tell you, tears!

[whynot]

XDDD I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!