whynot | hoooooooyaaaaaaaay

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hoooooooyaaaaaaaay

MORE FLAILING ABOUT MERLIN. Who incidentally has huge ears.

So, I watched the first four episodes online, can't yet find a working version of the fifth episode and MAN. I WANT THE LANCELOT PRETTY, NOW. Apparently he was Isaac from Heroes?? I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE, EPISODE FIVE. I will find you and your little dog too.

I wasn't part of the Xena and Hercules generation, but I kind of feel Merlin is this generation's answer to that. To anachronistic adventure fantasy starring a duo drowning in their own hoyay, that is. EVERYONE, COME JOIN THE MERLIN FLAILPARTY.

BED, this shit is kind of up your alley. I hope you watch it.

Hey, cape aside, that's like Pete and Ed's armor Arthur's wearing?

"Is it my imagination or are you beginning to enjoy yourself?"
"It's not totally horrible all the time." ESPECIALLY WHEN WE DO IT, all night long.

"I wouldn't lie to you." ...already? That was fast, guys.

This is episode two and already we have a "Merlin and Arthur against the world!"

The background music of Merlin and Arthur's breakup scene is hilariously histrionic, wtf.

"The heart cannot truly hate THAT WHICH MAKES IT WHOLE"? Are you kidding me. WOW.

Arthur is SO PRETTY. So pretty. UNGH I WANT.

Arthur/Morgana! I want to like it. But something about it is annoying. Though I am a big fan of how she can make him do anything she wants. ARTHUR. Twisted around so many people's little fingers. Like MERLIN'S. And even his father, in the 'I just want him to be proud of me' sort of way.

I am, like, in love with Arthur's panicked facial expressions whenever Merlin does something stupid and noble. WHICH HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Arthur has to step in and verbally abuse Merlin while saving his ass, barely concealing his panic and fear and anger and LOVE. AT THE BANQUET, after Merlin makes his wild accusations, Arthur's all like let me handle this 'cos I already know how he ticks apparently. WELL THEN. And Arthur's THE FIRST AT HIS SIDE WHEN MERLIN FALLS TO THE FLOOR.

Only four episodes in and Arthur's already like, "I will go to the ends of the earth for you, Merlin! I will risk life and limb. FOR YOU."

CALLING ARTHUR'S NAME IN DELIRIOUS FEVER? WHAT SWEET NECTAR IS THIS?

WTF DINOSAURS?? Well, I guess not, but it sure as hell looked like a spinosaurus.

OH MY GOD, Merlin sending Arthur that glowing ball of light thing. Lost in delirious fevered sleep and MOANING and his first instinct is to SAVE HIS ARTHUR-KING. SAVE YOURSELF ARTHUR-KING, don't mind my dying self, and Arthur's like OH I MIND IT VERY MUCH for who will I make out with then, WHO WILL unDRESS ME.

OMG I JUST DIED. "FASTER FASTER ARTHUR" INDEED. That was PROBABLY A FLASHBACK TO A FEW DAYS AGO.

Harharhar, his father being all like, "Why do you care so much?" YEAH ARTHUR, WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH.

"Yeah, it was nothing," INDEED. You're not fooling anyone, Arthur-king. YOU TWO ARE TOTALLY LOVERRRRRS.

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god, we do do this in comments all the time. *bemused*

and morgana hits on edmund, of course. AND PETER. so arthur is jealous.

"you stay away from her!" arthur snaps, bulling peter up against a wall, fist clenched in the fabric of his tunic.

peter lets himself be bullied, knows that he can turn the tables at any moment. arthur -- and uther too -- always forgets their rank, forgets that edmund and peter are kings despite their age. arthur looks at him and sees only a cocky stranger his own age, not the high king of narnia.

"or what?" he drawls. morgana is amusing, but despite what edmund thinks, he does know england's own legends. he's too smart to fool around with the woman that he knows as morgaine le fay.

"or i'll beat your head in!"

peter smirks, and like that, he's switched their positions, arthur sandwiched between his body and the wall now. he sees the prince's eyes go wide. "how did you --" he bursts out, warrior's instinct kicking in. how did you do that, show me, i need to know. then he's the spoiled prince again. "how dare you!"

peter closes his fist around arthur's throat, not squeezing, but letting arthur know he could if he wanted, kill the crown prince of albion here and now, take albion for his, for narnia's. it's all in the eyes, and arthur has brains enough to see that. peter loosens his grip.

"it's not your foster-sister i'm interested in," he whispers in arthur's ear.

we do. *joyous!*

peter's breaths on his ear, on his neck, the way he turns his face inwards so his lips are just that close to arthur's...

arthur starts to struggle, trying to writhe away. "stop that! stop that, i'll call my guards!"

"you'll call your guards?" peter echoes airily, letting arthur get away. "you'll tell your daddy, will you? call your manservant, maybe he can polish your boots and make it all better."

UH HUH AND THEN like, they flirt bicker some more, and arthur is so tempted to holler for the guards and just when he's about to, peter says something to the effect of "i tire of this, but if you want settle this further, you come to my chambers tonight and we'll settle it man to man. maybe you'll even learn a few things."

"no, you come to my chambers," arthur snarls.

and peter says, "alright." and walks off.

and arthur's like... uh woah what did i just do. except he knows what he just did. and he's not entirely opposed to the idea.

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<33! i am... kind of having waaay too much fun.
peter/arthur ftwwwwwwwww XD

oh arthur. so in over his head. one does not fuck around with the high king of narnia!

peter slips back into his seat looking entirely too pleased with himself. "where the hell have you been?" edmund hisses, and peter just smirks.

arthur comes in a few minutes later, looking badly shaken. peter meets his eye and sips his wine. arthur looks away quickly.

"just tell me you didn't do anything supremely stupid," edmund says.

"of course not," peter says, tearing a roll in half. "would i do anything like that?"

arthur manages to fool himself into thinking peter isn't going to come, that the other boy -- and he is a boy; he talks like a grown man but he's no older than arthur, young and green as spring grass -- is nothing more than a braggart and a bully. then there's a knock on his door. he almost doesn't go to open it; the only thing that makes him do so is misplaced pride. peter's just a boy, and arthur knows how to deal with those.

it's peter that shuts the door; arthur wants it open, isn't sure if he wants to be alone in the same room with peter, not with the door closed and all routes of escape blocked. just a boy, he tells himself, but he's not, there's something about him.

AHAHAHA THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT HIM indeeeeeeeeeeeeed. oh show.

"alright," says arthur in his most commanding voice. "let's finish this."

"as you wish, your highness," says peter, and tackles the prince to his bed.

initially arthur is like WOAH WTF because usually he's the one who calls the shots, but he's quick to recover. it's part lust and it's part not wanting to let the king of narnia (just a boy) get the best of him. it's not equal measures of both, and arthur's not sure which there's more of.

"hey, calm down there," says peter when arthur bites too hard.

"you don't tell me what to do," arthur retorts. "not in my own castle. if you can't take it, you shouldn't have--"

"if i can't take it? is that a challenge?"

and without waiting for answer, peter effortlessly flips them around and pins arthur to the bed.

"wha--?"

"well," says peter, grinning in equal parts mirth and malice, "if you can't take it..."

(pretty much, the title is "peter throws arthur around like a rag doll (and arthur secretly likes it)")

why do i have this feeling that merlin is hiding behind a tapestry and going, "OH MY GOD I HAVE TO GET OUT RIGHT NOW. except that arthur could be in danger! and i have to protect him! but OH MY GOD I AM TOO YOUNG TO WATCH THIS"?

there are scars on peter. not like the ones arthur has, from training and boyhood fights and exhibition fighting, but from real combat, like the ones uther and his knights have. there's an old scar through his eyebrow, a deep slash across his stomach (which should have spilled his guts and killed him), claw marks over his heart, the ragged stump of the smallest finger on his left hand, a deep gouge the length of arthur's hand on his thigh, teardrop shaped burn marks in a fan across his back. arthur runs his hands up them, wondering a little at their origin (just a boy, how in god's name does anyone so young get wounds like that?), and then peter scrapes his teeth lightly across arthur's neck.

"surprised?" he says.

"no," arthur lies. "nothing about you surprises me."

"if you want to be king, you'll have to become a better liar," peter says, grinning like the thought amuses him.

"don't be --"

peter's hand drops from his hip somewhere lower, and arthur draws in a sharp breath.

"like that?"

"no," he lies.

"too fast. let the question sink in," peter says, and lets arthur flip them, still grinning even when arthur settles on his hips.

"what are you, an expert?"

"i'm the high king of narnia."

"you're crazy."

"if you really think you're the first person to say that to me, you're sadly mistaken."

could be also that merlin's off doing edmund in the butt. WHO KNOWS.

also this is like the porniest thing i have written in a WHILE, bed, wtf, what've you done to me.

it's not arthur's first time with a man, this much is clear. perhaps with the knights, or that manservant of his who seems to delight in being insolent and wrong-footed. arthur exhales through gritted teeth as he pushes in, and he takes his time, and peter wonders if it's worth it to go at this again maybe tomorrow (and maybe the day after that). his answer is drifting towards yes.

lips parted and eyes glazed, arthur slides his hands from peter's hips up peter's body, leaning forward still slow and all the time in the world until his face is inches above peter's. the prince has lips like a woman's, and this time when he kisses peter it's not a messy teeth-clacking devouring. peter recognizes how he is kissed, like he is being claimed and conquered, and - at least for now - he will concede.

(i'm serious about those lips, SO FULL.)

no, seriously, when do we get the scene where merlin confronts edmund because edmund is lurking and merlin is paranoid? or when edmund hears the rumors about the dragon and goes down to investigate and merlin follows because merlin is paranoid? or when gwen and merlin are talking and gwen is all, "i cannot believe he is going to be king!" and edmund goes, "oh, you have no idea," and then winces, because he recognizes the expression on peter's face.

whoo-hoo HOT.

later, when arthur's dressing, peter sprawls out naked on his bed, seemingly unconcerned as he stretches, vertebrae cracking.

"you're not afraid of me," arthur says, turning a chair around and sitting in it backwards, watching peter.

peter shrugs, the movement somehow graceful in its gracelessness. "why should i be? you're not that terrifying; i've seen much worse things."

"i'm the crown prince," arthur says, tilting his chin up.

peter laughs. "i'm the high king of narnia," he says. "i think that rather outranks crown prince."

aww he's not paranoid, just an insufferable gryffindor who doesn't know the meaning of the term 'self-preservation'. not ONLY does he have to protect his arthur-king, he appears to be biologically wired to follow the hunches he shouldn't. maybe edmund can save him from something, or watches him save himself using magic. and merlin doesn't notice him until after the fact and he's like "!!!!" and bites down on asking him "you didn't just see that, did you?" because that would be a supremely stupid question to ask (not that it's stopped him before). so merlin just gawps a while, and edmund lets him gawp, and merlin's like, "your highness--"

"you can get killed for doing that, i hear," says edmund casually.

"it wasn't... i can't..."

edmund cocks his head to one side. "how exactly did you do that?"

"i didn't!" merlin bursts out. "i mean, i didn't mean to. that is-- that wasn't what you think it was."

but he only gets more and more flustered, which suits edmund just fine, because edmund wouldn't want to come head to head in a game of wits against THE merlin. but this merlin, he thinks he can handle. gotta get 'em while they're young.

edmund steps towards the wizard, sees too late the boy's eyes flash gold, is picked up by something unseen and is thrown through air. he hits the wall head-first, too shocked to cry out, and then there is darkness.

and edmund is, like, fifteen or sixteen, but scary the way all the pevensies are.

he wakes up to peter's curious gaze, his brother sitting wrongways on a chair and reading a book with his arms propped on the back of it.

"ow," edmund says as the aches and pains hit him all at once.

peter drops the book and comes off the chair, radiating fury as he comes toward him. edmund pushes himself up on one elbow and suddenly gets a taste of what it will be like to be old, if he lives that long.

"don't move," peter orders, palms against his shoulders to push him back down. "are you all right? what the hell happened to you? i'll get wine."

edmund slaps peter's hands aside and sits up anyway, wincing with every movement, and takes the wine when peter hands it to him. "merlin," he says. "i pushed a little too quickly, which was --"

"stupid?" peter supplies helpfully, turning the chair around so he can perch on its edge, kicking the book away.

edmund shrugs. "i should know better than to underestimate the young by now."

hmmmm i think we could polish the peter/arthur and post it to a comm. y/n?

i feel we could! hmm, but how do we want to do so? i can do set-up, but if i do set-up, we will then have a plot, a subplot, angst, and a lot of violence, which kind of negates the point. look, i have an incorrigible disease. (no, i am dying for some terrible beastie to descend on camelot and the talking horses to kick their way into the great hall, screaming, "get the hell away from my king!" as the knights of camelot gape and edmund pulls himself up onto phillip's bare back, peter vaulting onto sebi's and turning her around with his knees, raising his sword to fight the, i don't know, something that flies and has ripped off the roof. and the whole talking horses thing may or may not ruin the alliance.)

*cough*

WOAH THERE WILD BILL. i'm just talking about what we've written so far, up to the point right before the edmurlin confrontation, with a few (but not large) additions in-between to make it flow. and maybe more porn. hell yes to angst ('cos this is me here), violence ('COS THAT IS YOU THERE), and subplot, but all the plot i'm talking about is, the kings of narrrrnia arrive at camelot, edmund is all "pete that is a BAD IDEA", pete and arthur-king lustily glare at each other. THAT is our set-up, and then there is porn ever after. eh? eh?

*blinks prettily* but i feel we could easily add in an action plot! it wouldn't be any trouble at all!

*cough*

incorrigible disease, you know. yeeessss. the kings of narnia arrive at camelot, and then there is some vague feast-type welcoming stuff. do we want peter and arthur sparring at some point, like you had up above?

this isn't to say that we can't ed&merlin (ed/merlin?!) and pete/arthur-king wary circling right here.

yes to sparring! that's all you. you and your medievalry. and uther says amused, "if he weren't already king, we ought to make him a knight." and arthur SCOWLS.

leaving the ring, merlin's like, "good job--"

and arthur raises a hand and snaps, "don't." stomps off to wangst about daddy issues.

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EDITED VERSION. 'cos i am fickle sometimes.

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