THINGS THAT ARE QUITE SPLENDID INDEED

[whynot]

YOU GUYS. OMG. EXCALIBURRRRRRR. *palpitations*


So, the episode opens up with Arthur's coming-of-age party, with Merlin and Gwen watching from the side and having this hilarious exchange:

Gwen: D'awww you liiiiike him!
Merlin: No I don't!
Gwen: Yes you do!
Merlin: Nuh-uh!
Gwen: Yuh-uh! Merlin and Arthur sitting in a tree!
Merlin: Shut up! Shut up shut up!

Okay, so it didn't go exactly like that, except for how it PRETTY MUCH DID.

THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE CONTINUE TO BE THE MOST FUCKING USELESSEST EVER. omg. Someone crashes through the window on a horse and they all just FUCKING STAND THERE. What is it exactly that you do as knights of Camelot anyway? Oh, right.

"...And I know no one braver." Oh, Arthur. XD

I know it makes the brain explode to think about this show too hard, but this "showdown at high noon" business is very confuzzling to me. Sooooo, you can just challenge anyone to a duel without explanation and they have to say yes lest they appear dishonorable? That's IT?

Uther said, "I am the king. You cannot tell me what I can and cannot do," and I was like, "<333333333333!!!!!111" My Uther love exceeds my Arthur love, in this episode. UTHER. So powerful and passionate and prone to bad decisions! I LOVE MY DOOMED KINGS.

Uh, and that scene where Merlin tried to roast the zombie knight, and then the knight, like, WHIRLS to glare at him and Merlin was like, "Meep!" and scampers away. Hilarious.

Arthur: "You know that conversation we had about knocking."
UM. WHAT. *PLOT BUNNIES, all over the place* Arthur makes a good point though; even in Episode 8, no one ever seems to knock or feel any hesitation about going into one another's chambers, even when the owner isn't there. Arthur was completely unsurprised to find Morgana waiting for him in his bedroom, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Oh, Camelot. Your knights are worthless, but the night life must be fantastic.

Merlin: "I've stood there and watched you overcome every fear you ever faced. You have already proven your courage -- now you need to prove your wisdom." Yessssssssssss. Yesyesyes, to Merlin, and Arthur, and what they will become.

I am very glad to see that Nimue is the shit! Her previous shenanigans on this show have left me unimpressed, and I'm loving this backstory we get of her.

Merlin: "I'm sort of in a hurry." Impatient!Merlin is ADORABLE. Look at him, all arms-crossed and about to explode. Eeee!

Gwen: "You know I'd grant you anything." [Insert typical Gwen backpedalling here. GWEN <33. I officially heart you.]

Morgana: omg don't do it!
Arthur: "It's my duty."
Morgana: "I understand."
THAT'S IT?! MORGANA. You can make Arthur do ANYTHING, WTF. THIS SCENE WAS A LETDOWN. On the other hand, we can look at it as: there are some things that even Morgana cannot make him do. She knows this, and knows to not even try. His duty, his honor, and the responsibilities of his throne are heavy for any man, but Arthur reaches for them with both hunger and the ease of birthright.

UTHER/GAIUS FOR THE WIN. Especially when Uther says, "I have one other favor to ask," and then it FADES TO BLACK?! And then my brain went to a bad place.

Dragon: "It may surprise you, Merlin, that my knowledge of your life is not universal." Lampshade-hanging, y/n?

MERLIN: "BUT IF ARTHUR FIGHTS THE WRAITH AND DIES, CAMELOT WILL HAVE NO HEIR. I WILL HAVE NO DESTINY." CAN I SAY MORE THAT LARGE BLINKING TEXT DO NOT ALREADY.

Uhhhh, Gaius drugging Arthur and then having his way with him. Why so sketchy, Gaius? Oh well, THAT IS WHY I LOVE YOU (I THINK).

THE AMAZING MERLIN-PREPS-UTHER SCENE:
Uther: Are you having sex with my son?
Merlin: "You could say there is a bond between us."
Uther: Right. Carry on.

MY FAVORITE SCENE IS PROBABLY--
UTHER: "I'LL SHOW YOU FOOTWORK."
UTHER & ARTHUR hgjasjfd';ks';gld;kg;fd OMG KIIIIIIIIIIIIINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Uther being all fabulously stern like, "You are more precious to me than Camelot," and Arthur being all like, "...Really?" BECAUSE ARTHUR IS KIND OF DENSE, and all caught up in trying to prove himself. There's a dash of self-pity in how he always tries to prove himself. He can't always tell the little ways that people truly care about him, because he's had people fake-caring for him all his life. So then there is this great moment where Arthur just CAN'T HANDLE IT, and looks away, and is all like, "Be manly, self! STIFF UPPER LIP, THAT'S THE STUFF," and of course resurfaces with a casual and flippant, "Your footwork sucks, btw. Come train with the knights." Translation: I CAN HAZ FATHER-SON BONDING TIME?! OH KINGS AND HOW THEY TRY TO BE SUCH HARDASSES <33333333333333333333333333333. MOTHERFUCKING PENDRAGONS YAY

Dragon: "What is made cannot be unmade."
...Eerily similar to "what is seen cannot be unseen"? Are the writers throwing fandom a bone? I mean, ANOTHER one?

This episode was FANTASTIC. All my favorite scenes have to do with Uther, but I am also a-squee because I don't think there's been this much Merlin/Arthur innuendo since, like, what, Episode 4? Okay, maybe not, because Episode 4 was RIDICULOUS. Since a while, in any case.

I AM SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE where Merlin goes back to his hometown to have sex with his old boyfriend and then ARTHUR WILL POSSIBLY FIND OUT ABOUT THE MAGIC. I am a fan of the fanon that Arthur secretly already knows, but canon is probably not going to go this way. Either way: ahofdjsf;kg';ls'fg[dkhgpfd!!!!1111

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING EVER. It is a two-minute 'Merlin' episode (for realz!: Uther being paranoid about magic, Merlin flailing in with dire warning, then being put in the stocks, even Arthur/Merlin touching) in the name of BBC Children in Need. It made me LOL for serious. UTHER'S CLOSING LINE <33333333333

This is also made of win & hilarity. An old-school Star Trek vid set to Monty Python's "Camelot."

In keeping with theme of things that are AMAAAAAAZING, Trail of Dead's new EP 'Festival Thyme' is BEAUTIFUL and you can stream it on their MySpace. I love all the tracks except the title track, and you can download 'Inland Sea' here.

Comments

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT AND I AM SO INCREDIBLY JEALOUS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

Maybe I should convince my brother that instead of buying me whatever sensible christmas/birthday present he was going to get me he should download pirated episodes of MERLIN.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

AHAHA the Children In Need special is *hilarious*

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

You sure you don't need that present to be something else? Warm socks, maybe? Or a free meal at some delicious restaurant? That said, THE MORE PEOPLE JOIN IN ON THE MERLIN FLAILPARTY, THE BETTER. AND IT IS ALREADY A PRETTY POPPING PARTY. THE NEIGHBORS ARE ABOUT TO CALL THE COPS ON US. omg this show!

"I WILL NOT HAVE THIS CREATURE FLEECE MY KINGDOM." You tell 'em, Uther!

XD x 10000000000000000

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

I think it's going to be a calligraphy pen. So that I can learn to write in Anglo-Saxon round miniscule.

BUT PERHAPS I CAN SIMPLY GET HIM TO TEACH ME HOW TO DOWNLOAD THINGS. AND THEN I WILL NEVER HAVE TIME TO WRITE MEDIEVAL SCRIPTS, EVER.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Also, what is the deal with duels during medieval times, seriously? Can just ANYONE challenge you without explanation, and without your having to demand one?

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Er, yes. Well. You might not actually have done so (I know trial by combat was out by the 12th c. for the upper classes, not sure about honour duels- but bear in mind that honour duels seem to have been common in 15th-18th c. lit, and Merlin are working with the recieved understanding of medieval culture which has come down to us through said centuries).

ANYWAY. High medieval romantic literature uses the "flimsy or bizarre excuse for a duel" quite a lot. I think more common is to insult someone or their girlfriend and provoke them into challenging YOU. But in terms of Arthurian lit, random dude walking into the hall and challenging you to a duel or bizarre contest - allow me to point at Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.

Who is it that's marching in and demanding a duel? The wraith? That would be an SGGK rip-off right there.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Twas the wraith! Who is actually the zombie of the dead Sir Tristan, Ygraine's brother. The zombie knight CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW on his horse and throws his gauntlet down. Doesn't specify who he wants to duel though, so some red-shirt knight picks it up. There is more craziness to it and I dunno which bits are considered more Arthurian canon than others, but either way I'll refrain from spoiling you (even further) if you don't wish it!

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

OH I WISH TO BE SPOILED. With Arthurian stuff you need to spoil me, it will only make me more rabid.

Right. Having read the episode synopsis, let me offer my pseudo-analytical explanation of how Random Intruder Challenges work:

Camelot is the stronghold and pinnacle of English knighthood/manhood/personhood/nationhood (pick your 'hood of choice). Logically, someone could start a feud with the King of Camelot on the basis of some injury or insult done by him or his knights to the feuder or his dependants. This Tristan bloke, for example, has a reason (OMG what a reason! Lookit the woman-as-exchange dynamic! Diplomatic brides and feuding!). 'Canonically', ie in the traditional legend, Igraine's husband feuds with Uther because of Uther's lascivious interest in Igraine. In some versions of the legend, Lancelot is excused for the treason of sleeping with Guinevere because *Arthur* broke his word and didn't support Lancelot's dad King Ban in some war or other. We have a society based on feud and feudal loyalty (words not from the same root, but sadly linked). Everyone fights everyone else to preserve their honour, and the honour of the court. Tristan's fighting is justifiable in medieval terms because he feels Igraine's death is a dishonour to his family- or because Igraine was the peace-token between him and Uther for some other squabble, perhaps.

What we ALSO have in Arthurian legend is the mysterious "other" (ahaha litwank terminology), monstrous creatures and men who threaten Camelot/ associated courts at their most stable. It seems to be taken for granted that that which is outside of the social order will resent and challenge said social order. Cue the standard canonical Morgan le Fay character- or, here, Nimueh.

The way these "other" characters work, in ridiculous literary wank readings, is that they represent whatever has been pushed out and is most feared in the society of the hero and of the reader. So this SGGK thing I've been flailing about has a green knight ride into Camelot, knock down the doors, and demand that someone chop his head off, and in return he'll chop THEIRS off a year later. No one wants to do it, and eventually Gawain volunteers. Head chopped off, Green Knight sticks it back on and rides off. Gawain has to go on quest to have his head chopped off, has adventures, gets tied to a bed by a scary woman, and nearly gets sodomised.
ANYWAY. Two standard readings of that is that the Green Knight represents the celtic supernatural / the feared wilderness / enormous phalluses, which the orderly society of 14th c. England and the camelot they write are afraid of. Also buttsex. And fear of teh buttsexors. (WHY I AM A MEDIEVALIST: I GET TO TALK SERIOUSLY ABOUT KNIGHTLY SLASH)

So your Tristan bloke has a legit personal excuse for a feud, but he also represents that which Uther has pushed out of Camelot: magic. He's also working under the direction of a magical outcast woman, Nimueh (here playing the role Morgan le Fay usually plays in medieval hijinks). Both of these things are tropes by now in Arthurian legend: fear of wild magic, fear of women, fear of women's magic. However, lots of things are tropes in Arthurian legend which don't get singled out in modern adaptations. This Merlin show seems to be all about the magic (duh), and about deliberate, willed magic (as opposed to the often random and latent natural magic of medieval legend). That, I think, goes with a broad obsession in late 20th/ early 21st century western culture: an obsession with magic as primitive, unscientific, free, better, utopian; but at the same time an obsession with making magic quantifiable, measurable, logical, scientific. Ye gods and little fishes, that's an interesting trait of modern literature, I tell you.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Re: SGGK's tale of beheadings and near sodomy
UH. WHAT. WHAT. DUDE. Camelot is FUCKED UP.

Re: magic
I would venture to say that it's the opposite, and that there is now more of a trend towards the latent natural magic as opposed to the kind man wields deliberately. When the magic-as-purposive-weapon/tool idea was deconstructed, we got the New Age hippie shit, crystals and ley lines and whatever, and how magic is more about being in tune with nature than with casting glamors. The witch changed public image from the evil cackling crone back to the wise woman who knew her herbs.

Well, but then I suppose there is Harry Potter to consider...

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

ISN'T IT JUST? I *love* that poem so hard you have no idea. It's all hello, I am fear of sodomy, I will infiltrate your homosocial bonds and make you afraid of... er.. WOMEN. BECAUSE IT IS THE WOMEN'S FAULT IF MEN WANT TO DO EACH OTHER UP THE BUTT. SOMEHOW.
And it's *gorgeous*, beautifully written, and Gawain! Oh, my Gawain. How I love you so. You and your knack for ending up in Situations Where Homosocial Bonding Is Taken Too Far.

Re magic:
Well that's what I mean by two conflicting desires. We want the utopian magic of the New Age phase, but we also want order and scientifica. Consider Tamora Pierce, Diane Duane, Harry Potter...

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

What is this poem of which you speak?
There is a great desire to quantify everything in the western world! We've had to read some pretty ridiculous research projects in class that quantified things like love and power of prayer. I do not know Tamora Pierce or Diane Duane, alas.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

This poem of which I speak is a fabulous Middle English poem called "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight". It is fabulous. I luff it to pieces.

But possibly you can tell that already.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

*sidles*

Er. Sorry 'bout the random outbreak of medievalist. I expel literary ramblings like other people do foul-smelling gasses.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Don't worry about it, I love to overanalyze so I am finding all this interesting. I have to go now though, but I'll be back to flail again later.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

*finds episode synopses*

1. Yes, that sounds ENTIRELY normal for Arthurian legend. Looks to me like it's based in part of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, although... *frowns* I think there was something about a random black knight intruder in Malory somewhere...

2. WTF THEY KILLED YVAIN/OWAIN? I'm a gonna go over here and CRY now.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

OH YOU ARE ALREADY SPOILERING AWAY VOLUNTARILY very good CARRY ON THEN XD

Yeah, Owain, what a lolface. He was all like OOH OOH PICK ME PICK ME, and when he was being prepped for the duel he was like, "I can kick ass, right, Arthur?" and Arthur was like, "...You are certainly very brave." I don't know what he is like in 'real' canon, though. I don't know the 'real' canon actually. :(

UM THE BLACK KNIGHT. DID YOU ALSO THINK "NONE SHALL PASS"
IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE A PROLIFERATION OF "TIS BUT A SCRATCH" REFERENCES

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Sounds like they placed Owain in a Gawain role, or maybe smooshed their characters together. Yvain (his french name) is young and silly and determined to prove himself at all costs. I don't know what his welsh original character is like though.

I shall be sad if they made Owain into a redshirt sort of dude. I love him so much you have no idea. And I love Gawain and I LOVE THEM MORE TOGETHER. So perhaps it is best if Owain dies since he clearly could not exist without Gawiain and these meanie TV people did not write Gawain into the story.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

At the rate this show is going, when they do write Gawain in, he will be, like, randomly a squire who can speak Parseltongue or something. Crack/'Merlin' writers, OTP.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

That would break my heart.

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

*keeps reading episode synopses*

FEUDS! Oh, how my heart rejoices!

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

like the pendragon vs. the fair folk one? which feuds?

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

Camelot vs Wraith! Tristan vs Uther!

you're about to be dumped with a spontaneous attack of lit-wank, in which I SQUEE all over the place about the medieval dynamics going on here.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

oh word, it may edumacate me, being that my reaction to this show has mostly been "they are hot and often silly, when not being tragic!"

[ineptshieldmaid.livejournal.com]

OH YOU HAVE TO READ MEDIEVAL LITERATURE IT IS SO VERY VERY SLASHY.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Oh I would not be surprised! Back when women were the lesser sex, who could men confer their feelings of intimacy (not necessarily sexual intimacy) upon but other men? The effect of a the segregation of a society along gender lines on male buttsex bonding, or something.