(no subject)

[whynot]

I bring you a list of awesome.

1. capslock_merlin. When I talk about this show it's mostly in capslock anyway, so, perfect. If you don't care about being spoiled for Episode 11, please click here omg.

2. reel_merlin. A list of suggested movies for claiming. Back to the Future AU? Hitchhiker's Guide AU? JURASSIC PARK AU? OCEAN'S 11 AU?!? OMFG. I DON'T KNOW WHICH TO FLAIL ABOUT MORE AND THEY HAVEN'T BEEN WRITTEN YETfalskdf';slgk;dfk'g';dal;sfdlk

2a. Ages ago I fiddled with the idea of a Boondock Saints AU where Peter and Edmund destroy shit and kill people in the name of god andthentheyhavesex. It's not like they'd be completely out of their element. Aslan is totally Il Duce, but damned if I know who Smecker would be. Caspian is Greenly.

3. Speaking of Boondock Saints, In God's Country is greenapple's drabble-remix of my Boondock Saints fic Big Sky Country and it (the remix) is AMAZING. AMAZING. Connor/Murphy (warning: incest etc), rated R. Big ups to her for condensing 5000 words down to 400. Oh my gosh you guys, BOONDOCK SAINTS. GOOD TIMES. (Also, what is it about a canon with religious themes that makes it so prone to incest?)

4. amory_vain remixed my Y Tu Mama Tambien fic here, and it is HOT. I, um... didn't do my drabble remix because I never got my assignment, and then I forgot about it. I FAIL REMIXTHEDRABBLE. But I talked to the mods and they say I can get in on it anyway, late as I am. If I do, I'll apparently be drabbling Heroes!

5. I like to go on TV Tropes' Merlin page and see new stuff get added to it after every episode. Is it just me or are the examples for HoYay/FoeYay extremely skimpy. It is not just me. Camelot is totally crawling with STDs. ETA: Was it one of you guys that added that last bit to Hoyay??


BACK TO THESIS.

Comments

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

man, i would hate to have to timeline this out, because i am kind of not sure if we are contradicting ourselves from WAY BACK WHEN. just like how i would hate to wordcount it again. I BET WE PASS 50K BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

OH BAH I AM JUST TRYING TO GET TO PETER/EDMUND.


edmund wakes up in the middle of night kind of surprised to find he's not freezing; when he opens his eyes, he sees that the fire's burned down to coals. but he's warm, warmer than even the down comforter can account for, and he puzzle that over for a few minutes until he realizes that someone else is in the bed with him.

"peter," he says, and peter mumbles into his neck, "go back to sleep, ed."

"you're in bed with me," edmund points out, squirming around.

peter groans and raises himself up on one elbow. he looks tired and younger than usual, his hair mussed and his blue eyes bloodshot. "the temperature dropped another ten degrees," he says. "warmer this way."

"yeah, okay," edmund agrees, and puts his head back down. "what's it at now?"

"you really, really don't want to know," peter informs him, voice startlingly gentle. edmund always forgets that he can be like that, forgets who peter was before he hit high school and started hanging around with dino falcone.

"probably not," edmund says, watching his brother.

peter smiles down at him, a little absently; without something to fight he's mellowed, smoother and sweeter than usual. edmund's not sure whether to be reassured or freaked out.

"go back to sleep," he murmurs. "it's not like there's anything else to do."

"there is the one thing," edmund says.

peter's eyebrows go up. "no offense, ed, but i don't think twister is going to work with only two people."

"not twister," edmund says, and leans up, feeling reckless. one part of his brain is pointing out that this is not really the best idea -- neither of them has anywhere to run to.

the other part of his brain is saying, hey, pevensie, that's the point.

peter's lips are a lot softer than they look.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

did we ever explicitly say susan and edmund were banging before peter went to jail? i'm kind of hanging on the leeway that peter finds out about edmund and susan doing it after he gets out of jail, and at first he's like :-/ but ultimately it just leads to that beautiful polyamory we all know and love.

MORE PETER/EDMUND. yeah i kind of failed at my edmund/lucy pevencest attempt back there. they were just so cute being platonic! also, i didn't want him swooping in like a creep when lucy was vulnerable. though... i guess he kind of did that with susan? OR DID SUSAN SWOOP IN ON HIM??

in keeping with the winter theme!:


aravis sees snow for the first time when lune takes them all to boston for christmas one year. she makes cor switch seats with her before descent so she can look out the window, and when they're standing on the sidewalk of terminal E with their bags waiting for the driver to come around, aravis wanders to the bushes and bends down to gaze in wonder at its crown of snow.

"you'll love snow a lot less when the cold sinks in," says corin's voice behind her. then it says, "no! don't put it in your mouth!"

lune has a house out in lexington, and once they have all slept the dead sleep of the jetlagged and convened in the kitchen for breakfast, aravis reels off a winter to-do list she has compiled from a list of movies and things she had seen on tv. it includes: building a snowman, building a snow fort, snowball fights, sledding, skiing ("we'll go to canada for skiing," lune assures her), and this is when corin cuts in and says, "woah woah woah. we can't do all that in one day."

"we'll have to get an early start!" says aravis.

"i bet you won't even want to be out there after like half an hour!"

"stop pooping her party, corin," grins cor. "if the lady wants to frolic in the snow, let her frolic in the snow."

and aravis grins back at him, and the space in her heart that only cor occupies grows just a little bit more.

and then shrinks a little bit less when, once all bundled up and out blinking in the brightness of the snow, the twins suddenly manhandle her, grabbing her limbs -- "what are you--?!" she shrieks -- and toss her into a snowbank. aravis sputters snow as cor and corin make a run for it, hooting with laughter. she shouts curses at them as she tries to stand back on her feet, but it's not as easy as she had thought because the snow is loose and gives way easily. she ends up falling on her face again, and there is redoubled laughter from the other side of the yard.

"what the fuck!" she yells, and then she runs (or tries to run -- it's difficult through loose snow) at them, and then the games really begin. the snow is not ideal snowball snow, so she kicks and swats the piles of snow at them like sprays of water. cor and corin sprint at her like dive-bombing airplanes, and instigate drive-by shovings that do on more than one occasion knock her back into the snow. "you'll be sorry when i build my snow fort!" she shouts, snow in her mouth.

"on your feet, aravis!" says cor. "if you don't pass this test, we won't take you sledding!"

"yeah whatever!" aravis quickly packs down a snowball and holds it between mittened hands. "i'll go sledding without you!" and runs after him, throwing arm raised.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

lass, babe, we got ourselves an offer (http://bedlamsbard.livejournal.com/347808.html?thread=2933152#t2933152). at this point i'll turn it over to you, because otherwise i'll just flap my hands and bluster.

we did not explicitly say, i think, but there is all the rumor. although. what's the yearspan you got between them running off and the mafia affair? because i've been dropping "fifteen years", but i feel we're not getting the build-up to that scale of job. i don't know, though.

is it bad i am kind of desperate to know how the shasta/cor thing played out in this 'verse? (and were edmund and susan involved?)


there's a moment where peter's frozen in surprise, then he starts kissing edmund back. his hair is soft between edmund's fingers when he pulls his brother's head down.

"ed," peter says against his mouth, pressing little kisses against edmund's bottom lip.

"pete," edmund says back. he reaches down one-handed for the edge of peter's sweatshirt, presses his fingers to the inch of hot skin between that and the top of peter's sweatpants.

peter hisses out a breath between his teeth and says, "have you ever --"

"no," edmund says, "but i know you have." he leans up to kiss peter again, sliding his hand up his brother's back, feeling the knobs of his spine.

"oh," peter says faintly, kissing him back. "okay, that's -- okay."

then edmund rolls them over.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

:-OOOOO
crazy! but also... cool. we should say yes! okay i'll say yes.
OKAY HOLD ON I THINK I'M MIXING UP MY INCEST. WHAT I THINK I MEANT is that susan and edmund start sleeping together in idaho when when lucy is off with her deadbeat boyfriend and peter goes missing to go binge-screw guys like a closet case. and that's a few years after they flee finchley, they're still relatively young (lucy's first time falling head over heels in love, after all). so, peter doesn't get arrested for the first time until yeeeeeaaaaars after that, so yes, there is time for a buildup to the scale of that kind of job.

me too! it nags at the edge of my mind. edmund and susan being involved would probably be ideal, so they can have sexytimes in whichever exotic locale cor is being held at. hfsdjk and i totally wanted to write peter/corin on more than one occasion.

and here's a LITTLE bit of porn:



"go slow," susan breathes, face flushed. "go slow."

and god, he should, but he doesn't know if he can. edmund keeps his eyes closed as he fucks his sister because if he looks at susan, she's looking back at him, she's watching with these sex eyes and no fear, and it makes him feel obscene. (even more obscene.) if he looks anywhere else, he still sees peter's clothes strewn all over the place.

"susan," he manages, in a strangled sort of tone. "oh, fuck..."

edmund puts all his weight on his arms as he comes, gasping and cursing into her hair. he collapses on top of her, and she puts her arms around him, kisses his cheek.

"...sorry," edmund rasps.

susan laughs sharply. "oh god, edmund, don't say that to your real girlfriend after sex, okay? what are you sorry for?"

he rolls off her, content and unsettled, but mostly content. susan looks thoughtful, but then again she's had more experience having sex with her brother than he has. edmund eases the condom off his cock and replies, "for... not going slow. did you come?"

she hesitates before answering. "no. but we were both a little drunk."

and edmund wants to ask, when you kissed me on the couch, did you really know it was me, or did you think it was peter? but such questions would achieve nothing, so he let sleeping dogs lie. he reaches over the side of the bed and drops the condom in the trash can and avoids looking directly in it just in case he sees other used condoms in there.

"you want a cigarette?" susan offers, holding her pack out at him. she has one in her mouth, and a lighter in her other hand.

"yeah," says edmund. "definitely."

+

and when he kisses lucy for the first time, it's kind of like being in a flashback and watching yourself. lucy goes very still, does not press forward, does not pull back, and it's only when edmund says her name, very softly against her lips, that she starts kissing back. but the kisses never become insistent, never impatient. it doesn't end with anyone leading anyone into the bedroom, but instead with lucy smiling and kissing the tip of edmund's nose.

"edmund," she says, as softly as he had said her name against her lips. "we have to go back to work."

"i know."

they don't move for a few seconds, then lucy giggles as she shoves edmund's face with a gloved hand and he squawks indignantly. then they both go back to work.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

so timeline-wise we have:
finchley (high school, peter/susan, the falcone gang, the greg flaherty thing, edmund's fight, then the job where one of falcone's guys gets killed and dino blames peter)
the pevensies on the run (little jobs)
atlantic city (peter and susan meet kirke)
dino falcone catches up with them
...then at some point we have the pevensies making contact with kirke for the first time
...also at some indeterminate point the pevensies fall in with lune? (because it's mentioned somewhere, that lune wants them to do something in france during the idaho layover)
the atlantic city job that goes bad
galma, idaho (lucy/ben, peter/osumare, edmund/susan)
...timespan where the pevensies build up their reputation (peter sleeps with men)
the maine job that goes bad (peter/edmund)
...more work with lune and the twins, and with danny and rusty
the job that goes bad and gets peter caught at in jail
susan leaves and takes up with miraz
edmund and lucy visit finchley
peter gets out of jail (does bongo abruzzo get killed the first time peter's in jail or the second?)
the vegas job
peter goes back to jail
the new york job (mafia, philippines, etc.)

does that sound about right? am i forgetting anything?

oooh, peter/corin, yes, i highly approve.


there is a job that they do in miami, where they realize that they're going to have to be doing some diving. all four of them stare at the clear blue water with no little dismay.

"we're going to have to hire out," edmund says finally.

lucy expects peter to protest, because he's not particularly fond of pulling outsiders into their jobs, but all he does is hold up one finger and say, "let me make a phone call."

"do you know a diver?" edmund says disbelievingly. this is the first time they've gotten themselves involved in underwater work, and from his expression, he'd like it to be the last time.

peter glances over his shoulder as he walks away, but doesn't say anything. lucy trails after him.

"hey, oz," he says warmly. "it's peter pevensie, we met in galma -- yeah, i'm great. listen, i'm in miami right now. where are you? you busy? you want to make a little extra money? cash up front. sure, if your friend can be trusted." he laughs. "i'll tell you when you get down here. go ahead and fly first-class; i'll pay you back for the tickets later. oh, yeah, seaworth, i'll definitely buy you a drink. maybe two, if you're lucky." his voice is light and he's grinning. "see you tomorrow," he says, and snaps his cell phone shut.

then he turns around and sees lucy watching him.

"is that the guy you were sleeping with in idaho?" she asks.

peter flinches. "how did you --" he says, then bites his lip. "look, he was a navy seal. there's no one better, and i trust him."

"if susan doesn't kill him," lucy declares, then turns around and goes back to edmund and susan, who are watching them curiously. peter follows, more slowly.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

peter and susan definitely went to france, corin referenced it. he was there with them. also there was that time corin made out with lucy in bangkok. susan, edmund, and lucy went to the philippines at some point, and edmund and lucy danced in the rain. i def wanna get to corin/someone soon, that kid is not averse to getting laid. i am also still enamored of the idea of rusty/arthur/peter...

meanwhile back in florida:


peter comes back to the motel room to find susan and edmund under the covers. they're not undressed, but peter wagers their hands are probably somewhere not g-rated.

"pete," says ed by way of greeting. his voice is kind of fuzzy, and peter definitely knows where susan's hands are.

"ed," peter nods. "su."

susan raises an eyebrow at him. "did you have a good night."

"i had an excellent night," peter replies evenly.

"with oz."

"yes, with oz. i had an excellent night with oz," peter snaps. "do you two need a minute? i'll just come back later, shall i?"

"why don't you join us?" and susan's tone is not one of invitation, but challenge. they've already discussed this, peter's thing with men, but there is still something in her request that smells of revenge. peter's not sure whether to be flattered or frustrated. either way, he's not backing down.

edmund says, "room for one more."

"always," adds susan. she sits up in bed and peter revises his earlier observation about being dressed, because although susan is wearing a blouse, it is rather thoroughly unbuttoned. her breasts are pale, her nipples pink and hard. peter wonders if she is wearing panties.

susan says, "it's impolite to stare, brother of mine."

peter shrugs off his blazer, loosens his tie, and when he's close enough to the bed, he finds himself suddenly grabbed and tugged onto the bed. peter falls face-first between his siblings, and before he can protest about how expensive his new shirt is, it is ripped from his body, buttons flying. susan kisses him roughly; someone undoes his belt, and edmund pulls off his pants.

"bring your boyfriend around tonight," edmund says casually, his hand wrapping around peter's cock.

"like he said," susan murmurs into peter's mouth, "there is room for one more."

as it turns out, susan is wearing panties. but not for long.



BECAUSE. edmund and susan revenge-mindfuckery on peter and oz, which all leads to hot sex, is probably a good way to go. just putting it out there.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

YUM. edmund and susan revenge-mindfuckery on peter is AWESOME.


susan has no idea what she's expecting when she meets osumare (oz, he says) seaworth for the first time, but it's not this. peter may have crap taste in general, but he has good taste in men; seaworth is extremely good-looking.

she can't tell if he's aware that he's walking into a tense situation or not, but his laugh is easy and his smile is wide and genuine. and, she admits grudgingly, he probably does know how to dive.

still, it doesn't help when she goes outside the bar to smoke a cigarette and sees peter and oz making out in the alley out back, hands all over each other.

susan contemplates burning the bar down and seeing if they notice, but that's maybe a little extreme.

-
-

she sees seaworth a few times after that, but she does her best to steer them away from water-related jobs, so there's no need for his...services. peter has a knack for finding lovers that come in handy, though, so there's no shortage of that. he even tends to part on good terms with them, which is just ridiculous, since susan certainly can't manage it.

the one place she's not expecting to see seaworth is on the gaming floor of one of miraz's casinos, nursing a drink and sitting at one of the slot machines. she moves to steer away, but he looks up before she can get more than a few steps away.

"susan pevensie." his voice is warm and amused, good-natured enough.

there's no escape. "oz seaworth," she says. "how've you been?"

"all right. how about yourself?"

"i'm fine." they chat for a few minutes, susan trying to find a good opening to make an escape, and then seaworth says, "i suppose you're here with your siblings?"

"no, i'm not, actually."

"how is peter?"

"he's in prison," she says blandly.

"oh, that's too bad," seaworth says, not missing a beat.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

what title SHALL we have for this AU of all things illicit? something that encompasses transience? LIKE, what stays constant as the scenes around them change. bonus points for gratuitous mentions of alcohol and/or playing cards.

okay, an hour OR SO after my previous comment:


"are you serious?" peter demands of the bathroom door. "guys." he hears the shower turning on. "i thought there was room for one more."

"three's a crowd in the bathroom," says susan, who isn't bothering hiding her self-satisfaction. "fuck off."

peter bangs once on the door. "hey!"

"ease out, pete," says edmund cheerfully. "we'll be done soon."

so instead, peter goes to the room that edmund and lucy are sharing. he's in the middle of his shower when the bathroom door opens.

"ed" says lucy's voice.

"it's me. ed's with susan." he pokes his head out of the shower and wipes the water from his eyes. "hey."

"what?" lucy's shirt is on the counter and she's unhooking her bra.

"what's the deal with ed and susan?"

"do you really need me to tell you that?" replies lucy. she undoes the buttons on her jeans and pushes them down with her underwear. "make room in there."

peter steps backward and lucy steps in. she shakes out her hair and tilts her head back, soaking it, and he says, "they want me to bring oz around tonight, then they lock me out of the bathroom."

"pass me that soap, would you? are you going to bring him, then?"

"of course not."

lucy rolls her eyes. "what are they gonna do? shoot him and throw his body in the ocean?"

+

"i can soap myself, you know," says lucy, amused.

"well," says peter, "you missed a spot."

+

even with the steam and the heat, the ceramic tiles of the bathroom are cold against her back.

lucy whispers, "we should probably--"

peter says, "you want to stop?"

"i'm not getting mixed up in whatever game you, edmund, and susan have going on."

"fair enough." he presses a kiss against her skin. "we'll play our own game."

"i don't want any games."

"all right. so," says peter, "you want to stop?"

"peter--" says lucy, and then gasps.

"why, lucy, you're all wet."

"we are in the shower," lucy replies, a little tightly.

peter says, "do you want to move to somewhere drier?"

"like..." and then lucy inhales sharply, sighs shakily. "god, peter..."

"like back to the bedroom," he suggests.

"yeah," lucy breathes against his lips. "the bedroom's pretty dry."

+

lucy uses her teeth, so peter does too.

he says, "tell me if i'm hurting you."

she laughs. "i'm indestructible, peter."

+

peter is halfway through his cigarette when there's a knock on the door.

"yo, it's me," says turk's voice. "i got those blueprints."

"it's never over," peter mumbles.

"it's life," says lucy. "put a shirt on."

+

"really?" muses oz, and then he gets this look in his eyes that peter has come to recognize. the outcomes of such looks can go excellently or awfully depending, but either way it always gets your blood going. "what time did they say?"

the glass of scotch halts on the way to peter's mouth. "wait. you're actually considering it?"

oz grins at him. "come on, it'll be fun."

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

OH GOSH i do not know.

boy, is peter getting lucky that day.


trust peter to pick up a cop.

and not just any cop, a fed.

seriously, susan has no idea how they've managed not to get arrested beforehand. if she can read a cop from a block away, peter should be able to too, but no, instead she walks into their hotel room to find the bed occupied.

"i don't believe you!" she exclaims, throwing up her hands and letting the blueprints scatter across the floor. for the love of god, the fed's gun is tangled in with his jacket and pants on the floor. either peter is really that oblivious or he really likes playing with fire.

"uh," says the fed, scrambling for his pants.

"susan," peter says, "come on."

"are you stupid?" susan demands. "i mean, really, are you stupid? or suicidal? because there are much easier ways to get into jail!"

"probably not as much fun, though," peter points out reasonably.

she reaches down, wads up one of the blueprints, and throws it at his head.

the fed stops what he's doing, looks at the papers she's just dropped, then back and forth between the two of them. "oh, hey," he begins. "you two aren't actually boyfriend and girlfriend, are you?"

"if we were, he would be so dumped," susan says, and ignores peter as he makes a sharp throat-cutting gesture.

"you're peter and susan pevensie, aren't you," the fed says, like it's not a question at all. "we've been looking for you."

susan has never seen peter move so quickly in her life.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

IKR, i've half a mind to give him or susan some sort of STD.

i think this happens sometime before peter goes to jail the first time:


peter is at the back of the bar in animated conversation with a knot of strangers, which is a little bit unusual, but maybe he's had one too many before susan showed up. either way, it's time to withdraw him from the group.

susan taps him on the shoulder. "pete, we've got--"

and peter turns around and it's not peter. her jaw drops.

"susan!" arthur crows cheerily. "what are you doing in new york?"

+

the pendragon foundation is a philanthropic organization, headquartered in new york and with its fingers in many pies. "our interests are many," arthur is explaining to her. "gawain here is in charge of the environmental sustainability petitions, bedevere does microfinance development, robin is children & education..." and he continues around the circle naming everyone and their specializations, and susan begins to glaze over.

"it also helps that his father is very rich," says the dark-haired guy next to her. he's dressed more low-key than the rest of arthur's coterie and he hasn't said much so far.

"and that scrawny example of insouciance next to you," arthur finishes, raising his drink to him, "is merlin, my PA."

"PA?" susan echoes.

"personal assistant," offers merlin, and susan begins to wonder what she saw in arthur in the first place.

+

but she remembers outside when she arthur smoke a cigarette. they are giddy with alcohol and a mutual appreciation for each other's hotness, which here are symbolized by affectionate arrogance and enthusiastic anecdote-telling.

arthur finishes his cigarette before she does and lights another one, so when susan finishes hers, she lights another too.

he's in the middle of some tale involving water sanitation in the czech countryside when she hears a throat clearing and, "su."

susan whirls around, and it is peter, lighting his cigarette, raising an eyebrow at her.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

wait, but didn't susan meet arthur for the first time when peter was in jail? the first time.


but then again, trust peter to pick up a cop -- pick up a federal agent -- blow his cover, and still stay in touch with the guy. on good terms, at that.

"it's cool, su," he says. "all good, s'long as we don't pull any jobs in los angeles."

"we are in la right now," susan points out dangerously.

"don't pull any jobs that can be easily pinned on us," he clarifies. "otherwise, you know, colby might feel inclined to hunt us down. although we're kind of small fry for him, apparently his team does a lot of high-profile stuff, very hush-hush."

susan may or may not whimper a little bit.

-
-

still, five years later or so, it says something about peter that he can pick up the phone and dial something with an la area code. she picks up the other line just because she has got to hear how this particular conversation goes.

the phone rings once, twice, three times, and then there's a click and a vaguely distracted voice saying, "granger."

"hey, colby," peter says in a low, silky voice. "this is peter pevensie. how've you been?"

"i'd say better than you, but i've had an interesting couple of years," colby granger says, his voice perking up a little. "how was stir?"

"food sucked. listen, you still down in la?"

"yeah. but i'm guessing you're not, what with the manhattan area code and all that."

"well," peter says, "after i finish up my business here, i have it in mind to go see the sights in california, take my kid sister to disneyland and all that --"

"lucy is twenty-eight," susan says dryly, covering the mouthpiece of her phone with hand.

peter waves his free hand at her.

"-- and i'd love to meet up for a drink. on me, of course. at least the first few rounds."

"strictly legal business?"

"of course."

she can hear the humor in colby's voice, and for a surprising moment, susan thinks that she might actually like him very much, if she'd met him for more than the two minutes she'd been in the same room with him and peter. "let me guess: you want a favor."

"you know me so well, granger."

"so what is it?" there's a muffled shout in the background, and colby says, "hey, personal call here! it happens, you know."

"sorry," he says, back into the phone. "workplace. you know how it is."

peter glances at the clock, and susan calculates the time difference between new york and la. should be around ten o'clock. at night. "sorry, i thought you'd be out of the office by now."

"i work for the fbi, pete. i'm not really sure they have a concept of the nine-to-five job. anyway, we're in the middle of a case, but i can take a couple of minutes, my boss is double-dating with his brother and his girlfriend in the av room."

"what?"

"never mind, it's complicated. what do you need?"

"a couple of new york mobsters, marco abruzzi and frederico patriso. what do you have on them?"

there's the sound of keystrokes in the background. "a lot," colby says after a couple of minutes. "although i'd rather not reel it off in the workplace. you want to talk later, or should i send you a copy?"

peter glances over at susan. "send it," he says. "you still have my e-mail?"

"yeah. listen, you're not planning to rip off the mob, are you? because they're some kind of serious."

"trust me," peter says, "i am extremely aware of that fact."

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

oh shit, you're right. well, it happens sometime.

anyway, lazaefair, this next one is for you, for your awesome:


reep has always been tiny. as a kid, he was the one who was dunked in the toilets, wedgied to within an inch of his life, and held upside down by the ankles while the bigger kids when through his pockets for lunch money.

reep was also the one who got detentions for beating up the bigger kids trying to get his money back, and the one who concocted elaborate schemes of revenge with the braver of his fellow bully-victims. many of these schemes backfired and yet somehow managed to still inflict a world of pain, mainly because reep's contingency plan was to rush in screaming and kick them until they're down.

only until they're down, though. never after. reep believes in doing the right thing, after all. it's just that doing the right thing seems to involve a lot of vanquishing villains who try to take other people's lunch money. the teachers try to tell him no, that's bad, beating up other people is bad, but reep rather thinks that whether you're a bad person or a good person, doing the right thing is always on. he will start with that as first principles.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

tumnus meets lucy pevensie on one snowy winter day in the central park zoo. she's clutching a venti hot chocolate between mittened hands, watching the penguins splash around with her head cocked to her side. she's pretty and easy to chat up, and tumnus finds himself liking her very much.

the main problem of the moment is the fact that he happens to be working for jadis at the moment. jadis, not a friend of the pevensies.

to be fair, jadis is in manhattan strictly for the purpose of fucking the pevensies over.

really, it's nothing personal on tumnus's part. just a job, after all. except then lucy tucks her hand into the crook of his elbow and drags him off to the nearest starbucks. and he keeps coming back to see her, even after he's already decided he's not going to give jadis the dirt she wants on the pevensies.

then one day he meets lucy at this french restaurant for dinner and there's another man already with her, golden-haired and handsome, talking familiarly with her. peter pevensie, her oldest brother. tumnus freezes.

tumnus is trying to, not so very subtly, look for an escape when peter looks up and sees him. the older pevensie's smile is ridiculously sweet and precisely calculated to charm; tumnus had seen its twin on jadis's face all those years ago when he'd gambled and lost more than he could pay.

"tumnus, right?" he says, standing up. "i'm lucy's brother peter. let's take a walk."

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

"i dunno, lu," edmund says skeptically. "the quizbowl team doesn't really need cheerleaders."

"wait, check it out, check it out," lucy burbles, then she stands straight in the ready position. "ready? okay! tangent, sequent, cosine, sine! three point one four one five nine! gooooo finchley!"

she looks at edmund expectantly, who looks at her like this: :-/

"like," says edmund, "maybe you should stick to football."

+

MEANWHILE, IN FRONT STORY


on one side of the hotel bed, susan has already dropped off to sleep, gathering most of the blankets around herself as she snores softly. lucy and peter are at the desk, faces lit up by the glow of the computer monitor, on which edmund's pixellated face is currently displayed.

"what were they like?" edmund asks. "how are they?"

peter shrugs and lucy says, "they're happy. but i guess a little sad. they kind of didn't know how to act around us."

"they were okay," adds peter, shrugging. "mom was happy to see us."

"was dad?"

"i think so," says peter.

"of course he was," says lucy.

peter adds, "i dunno, they miss us. says we should call them sometime, or email. dad says they're sick of hearing about us only when we get caught."

+

the macmanus brothers seem to like corin well enough, but he knows how they roll so he's always wary, even as the three of them now are paying for each other's beers and liberally bumming each other cigarettes. corin is always aware that maybe one day connor and murphy will be coming after HIM, and that will be no fun.

"what do you want with aslan?" connor demands. "has he done something?"

"no no," says corin. "we just have a favor to ask of him. i've called his office and thrown my weight around, but so far nada."

"have you tried worcester?" asks murphy.

corin makes a face. "worcester? what the hell is in worcester?"

murphy replies, "what isn't in worcester?"




i have some thoughts about caspian's role in the hope diamond thing. and also about lucy, 'cos i dunno, now that i've written more from her POV, i kind of wish i had kept the lucycest even more implicit. the other three have pevencestuous mindfuckery covered, but lucy is just kind of sweet and happy-go-lucky. i think her relationships with her siblings are the least complicated of the four.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

hmm, more backstory. from the first time peter got arrested. (don't bother googling the detectives; i don't read or watch anything that takes place in chicago, so i'm kind of snatching names out of thin air. nyc, boston, new orleans, la, dc, i got detectives and/or feds there, but chicago, no.)


he runs pevensie through the system without really expecting to find anything. maybe some sealed juvenile stuff, but even that's pushing it. peter pevensie has a reputation, but that reputation has said he's never got caught, at least till now.

he's a little surprised when he gets a hit off a missing persons case a couple states over in finchley. it's ten years old, says pevensie went missing along with his brother and two sisters, and none of them have been seen since. of course, the cops weren't looking for a quartet of runaways; they've been looking for a quartet of con artists.

still, one out of four missing chidlren found is something, even when the news is that your missing child has been arrested for grand larceny and is suspected for ohsomuch more -- also, the going straight to jail for a solid five year sentence, three years with parole for good behavior -- so detective butler glances at the clock and picks up the phone.

-
-

finchley isn't really a town where they get a lot of serious crime -- a handful of minor crime, of course, but not a lot of missing persons and they haven't had a murder in twenty years before grant street, even despite the mob presence in the town; the falcones keep a pretty low profile, relatively speaking. so when four kids go missing the same night two people die, mclaughlin remembers that, even if it has been a decade since then.

still, ten years and there hasn't been hide nor hair of the pevensie kids since. he's tired of having to tell helen pevensie, no, there hasn't been any news, even though the one time he'd done so he'd been staring at a wanted poster, john and jane doe wanted in connection with an attempted robbery in atlantic city, new jersey, sketches that might be peter and susan pevensie a couple years down the line looking back at him.

he picks his desk phone up on the first ring. "detective mclaughlin, finchley pd," he says.

"this is detective brian butler, chicago robbery-homicide. are you the dick who worked the pevensie case about ten years ago?"

"yeah," mclaughlin says, sitting up. "why?"

"i've got one of them in custody. peter pevensie. he's about to do a nickel for grand larceny."

-
-

the pevensie parents take it about well as can be expected -- there's not much you can say to finding out your missing-for-a-decade, wanted-in-connection-to-two-deaths eldest child has taken his juvenile delinquency to a new level and dragged his younger siblings into it too.

"i knew it," mr. pevensie grumbles, and mclaughlin makes an apologetic motion with his hands. he remembers driving home an eight-year-old peter pevensie who'd ripped off a drug store when he'd still been a uniform.

mrs. pevensie's reaction is a little more expected. "can we see him?" she asks. "is there any news of the others?"

according to butler, peter had pled guilty rather than plea-bargained for a lighter sentence and given up his accomplices -- probably his siblings, if their pattern held true.

explaining to the pevensie parents that their son had outright refused to let his parents visit him in jail is one of the hardest things mclaughlin's ever done, and that includes coming to the door the day the pevensies had gone missing and asking for peter, saying that a gangbanger named niccolo carlotti and a security guard named james hanson were dead and that peter was a known associate of carlotti's. and then: peter's not here. none of them are here.

well, they don't take that particularly well.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

okay, i dunno how to prose this, so i'm just gonna dump it out. frontstory, miraz pulls caspian aside to talk privately over scotch in miraz's private study. okay this is weird, caspian is thinking. what the hell does my uncle want? but the scotch is always good (when caspian was a kid and wanted to feel badass, he'd make himself drinks with his uncle's scotch and replace what he took with apple juice, so the water line wouldn't drop, but he got found out anyway somehow) and besides, they're at a truce now, sort of.

basically miraz says if you sell out the pevensies, life will be awesome for you. THING IS, i'm not sure what miraz wants exactly and what he's offering and why. maybe he wants the hope diamond for himself, that's the only thing i can think of. especially since the patrisos don't bookkeep so good.

OH SO MAYBE. what if the diamond is used as leverage against the patrisos, and caspian and miraz actually COME TOGETHER and be all like, "if you don't leave the pevensies alone, patrisos, miraz will keep the diamond and he'll wipe you all out because you owe him money." or maybe he'll call the authorities. and aslan can come in, maybe with some dirt, and testify against the patrisos.

maybe miraz is like, "sell out the pevensies, and i'll get you out of this life of crime because isn't that what you've always wanted? i'll pull some strings, put some papers through a shredder." caspian never chose to be a criminal, he was forced into it in the name of survival and pride when miraz got him kicked out of harvard. he still wants to be a lawyer/businessman, he still wants to do good, but he's a criminal and he's long given up on that dream. but now it's a possibility again. miraz can see him considering it and he smiles satisfied, because it runs in the family.

I DUNNO, i want to grab someone by the balls and make it hurt, but i dunno how to do it to caspian, i dunno how to do it to the patrisos.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

oooooh. although, you know, i don't really want caspian to sell out the pevensies, i want him to double-cross miraz like whoa so he and the pevensies and the rest of the gang end up sitting pretty. maybe caspian can fall in with lune and corin, i don't know.

i want miraz to completely underestimate caspian -- because, you know, he still sees the innocent kid he used to be, not the master thief and con man caspian's growing into. it's a brave new world. something like that.

(of course, thanks to water i'm in a "caspian is actually fairly awesome, thanks" kind of mood.)

...suddenly i want to write caspian backstory, and how betrayal feels. maybe he's not better than his uncle after all, but at least he's going to direct his vengeance at the person responsible for it. throw miraz to the patrisos, maybe -- trick it out so that the patrisos think that miraz was going to double-cross him, and so the pevensies get away free.

for some reason i want throat-slitting, but i think is somewhat more likely to come up in dust than in this.

completely unrelated: lass, i know that you do not watch vids, but this one (http://obsessive24.livejournal.com/241101.html) is absolutely fab. you're a tragedy starting to happen.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

yes yes! that's why i want caspian by the balls! 'cos he redeems himself by grabbing miraz's balls at the last second and ripping them off, so to speak. miraz underestimate him, the pevensies underestimate him, but caspian knows how to make plans. maybe he can tap his old harvard friends for favors (DS:"ALASDJ MAYBE ONE OF THEM IS ARTHUR). the pevensies underestimate him because he's not edmund who's still stuck in the philippines, and after caspian gets them out of some muddle, peter and susan are cautiously like, "not bad," and maybe lucy is like, "don't sweat them, they're hard to please," and caspian is like, "oh, i know," 'cos he does, he knows about people who are hard to please. lucy says, "you did great."

miraz underestimate him because he's not his father (who may have died because of miraz, but even had more cojones than his son), but maybe then caspian uses this to his advantage, somehow.

so like, what, maybe the pendragon foundation is holding a charity function at the museum. a week (or less, or more, depending) before the function, arthur comes home to his penthouse suite, turns on the light, and has a heart attack when he sees caspian sitting in his favorite armchair.

"i thought you'd be happier to see me," caspian smiles.

and arthur is all flabbergasted like, "cas? i haven't... you... CAS?! where have you--" arthur frowns suspiciously. "how did you get in here?"

"no one's called me cas in such a long time," caspian muses.


AND MUCH LATER IT'S LIKE--

miraz laughs. "there is no honor among thieves, boy."

"there is honor among men," caspian counters, "and thieves are men."

lucy says, "except, you know, when they're women."

"it's a figure of speech," caspian mutters.

"i know," lucy says crossly, "but--"

"guys!" peter cuts in. "come on."

miraz smirks.


BUT AT THE END MAYBE MIRAZ IS LIKE "MAYBE YOU WILL MAKE A GOOD TELMARINE KING BUSINESSMAN AFTER ALL" AND CASPIAN IS LIKE "NOT ONE LIKE YOU."


!!! that is indeed a pretty good video! i'll have to drop off a comment on that post saying so. and i love that song, god, i haven't heard it in ages! so appropriate and pretty. IT IS ALL about CAMELOT'S TRAGIC FATE and the part where it's like "you know you have nothing to prove" made my heart go jakdlfkjsdfl;. MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE TRAGIC MERLIN FIC OF SEXINGS AND DESTINY. ARTHUR/KINGLY WIBBLES OTP.

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

the lights don't come on when arthur waves his hand over the sensor, and he frowns a little before he shrugs and presses the button. they turn on then.

he drops his keys on the hallway table, shrugging off his jacket and undoing his tie and leaving them in a trail behind him as he goes to his study. he goes straight to the wet bar and pours himself a glass of whiskey, holding it up to the light to admire the play of it through the amber liquid. he takes a sip of it before he turns around.

and drops the glass.

it shatters on the hardwood floor, staining some of his extremely expensive imported oriental carpets. arthur doesn't even notice; the glass shatters even further under his heel as he steps forward and says disbelievingly, "caspian?"

caspian smiles a little, putting down the book he'd been leafing through when arthur came in. "i thought you'd be happier to see me," he says. "it's been, what, five years? six?"

"what," arthur says, "how -- cas, what are you -- where have you -- how did you get in here?" he has a top of the line security system. he has a top of the line security system and a personal bodyguard ever since the incidents in the sudan and also ohio.

"no one's called me cas in such a long time," caspian muses.

arthur hasn't seen caspian since harvard, not since he walked into the apartment they'd shared and found all of caspian's things gone. all the rumors that had flown around campus -- they'd both been interning at the same place in boston, and everybody at the company had been viciously, horribly glad that harvard had found out what caspian was doing and sent him packing.

first things first. arthur takes a couple of steps backwards, pours himself a second glass of brandy, and throws it back in one gulp. "how did you get in here?"

"i broke in," caspian says calmly. "which, incidentally, answers your second question, the one about where i've been." his smile is a little grim. "there aren't really all that many options available for employment when the one thing you know how to do gets ripped away from you at once."

arthur stares at him. "you're a thief," he says.

caspian grins. "precisely."


ISN'T IT JUST? and it's such a golden age narnia song, too. (look, my brain is kind of one-track.)

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

and chit chat chit chat, caspian is like, "i need a favor," but arthur is like, "are you kidding, i'm not helping a thief."

caspian says, "look, i'll cut you a deal."

"no," arthur snaps. "i'll cut YOU a deal. get the hell out of here right now and i won't call security. i don't associate with criminals."

he bristles. "i only became a thief because i had to be!"

"oh, that's rich! heir to the telmarine fortune, dean's list at harvard business school, and you found yourself backed into a corner where your only option was to cheat and recede into the underworld!"

"well," says caspian. "yes. exactly."

"get the fuck out of here."

"it was miraz," caspian blurts out. "it was my uncle."

"i don't want your excuses."

and caspian realizes he's taking the wrong strategy. arthur pendragon is not going to succumb to wheeling and dealing. arthur fancies himself an honest man, and there are few people business students who fancy themselves as such. it's always about cutting your losses and improving the profit line, but arthur was always that one kid in class who was like, "but what about the employees' rights?" caspian doesn't know whether to envy him or pity him sometimes. arthur and his clearly delineated world of right and wrong, and his clear sense of which side of the line to stand on.

caspian had this spiel in his head he had planned to give to arthur about how the pendragon foundation wouldn't be implicated at all, about how in the end it could help with publicity, and how to twist the story around to the media so that arthur can finagle some fundraising out of it. none of that's going to work on arthur though, so instead he says, "miraz killed my father."

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

arthur pauses in his tirade and stares at him. "your father died when you were, like, three."

"and miraz killed him," caspian insists. "you've known me for years, arthur. do you really think i'd need to cheat to get through harvard business? we lived together, don't you think you would have known?"

"what does your getting caught have to do with your uncle killing your father?" arthur demands suspiciously. not that caspian is wrong, mind. arthur's known him since they were both pledges in the same frat at yale, and there's not a cheating bone in caspian's body. of course, he hadn't actually realized there was a thieving one either, so there's that.

"i didn't cheat," caspian insists. "my uncle set me up, my uncle killed my father and got me kicked out of harvard. look, you know i was supposed to take over the telmarine corporation when i turned twenty-five, my dad wrote it into his will. that was all i was ever going to do. but my uncle was running everything, holding everything in trust, you know? and i guess he decided he didn't want to hand it all over to me."

"huh," arthur says, but he considers it the thought. caspian certainly looks sincere, and it makes sense. arthur's met miraz a couple times, both before and after caspian pulled his disappearing act.

he snaps his fingers. "but you know what you do then, cas? you don't just run off into the underworld and start picking pockets, you hire a lawyer, you hire a lot of lawyers, hell, you come to me -- if you'd just come to me --"

he already knows that caspian's too proud for that, though.

"didn't you trust me?" he adds, a little bitterly.

"my uncle sent assassins after me!" caspian exclaims. "i almost got run over as soon as i stepped out of the dean's office; the truck backed up and tried to run me over again. miraz is ruthless, he would have come after my friends, he would have come after everyone who was close to me, no matter how powerful or whose son they were. i didn't want you to get hurt!"

okay, that sounds like caspian, who hadn't been so much for the employees but definitely gave a damn about the people on the same level as him, or who used to be on the same level.

"so the stealing," arthur says after a minute. "you only did it because, what, you had to?"

"well," caspian compromises, and grins, "and i'm very good at it."

EDITED VERSION

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

for minor things. still <3ing caspian and arthur. why have we not written more caspian earlier?! oh right, because we get easily distracted by the shiny of peter/susan.


"i'm not getting involved in a mafia vendetta," arthur bursts out after caspian explains the situation.

why does everyone keep saying that? oh wait, caspian knows perfect well why everyone says that. "that's what i said," he mutters.

"don't touch my booze," arthur snaps when caspian goes to refill his glass.

caspian raises his eyebrows. "i'll get you back. you want me to get YOU a drink?"

"are you really offering me my own alcohol?"

and for a few seconds, the argument is so familiar and comfortable that caspian cracks a grin, flashes back to the old days when the worst thing they had to worry about was getting the right internship and buying the right suit, and where the party was that weekend.

arthur chuckles to himself. "god, you haven't changed at all."

caspian hands arthur a glass of scotch. "that's what i've been trying to say, asshole."

"hey hey hey," arthur cuts in, holding up his hand, "you don't get to break into MY apartment and drink MY alcohol and call ME an asshole."

"dude," says caspian, "i just did."

arthur rolls his eyes. "caspian--"

"so the deal--"

"the deal is that there is no deal!" arthur exclaims. "tough luck for edward pevensie--"

"edmund."

"whatever, tough luck for that guy, but the foundation is not going to go down because their VP was caught red-handed making bad decisions."

caspian looks at him with what he hopes are dead-serious eyes. "you won't get caught."

"you can't guarantee that!"

"i thought you wanted to help people!"

"i AM," arthur snaps. "what the hell do you think i'm doing being the VP of a philanthropic organization? i don't just sit on my ass. a lot of people depend on us. we stock food banks and run shelters. we are mouthpieces for urban environmentalism and organic--"

"save it," caspian cuts in irritably. "just, save it. okay first of all, you wouldn't be the VP if your father weren't the president, and second of all, as a fucking vice president, you're not stacking cans at the pantry downtown. you're not the one with an apron on in the soup kitchen. what the fuck do you do? you shmooze at black-tie fundraisers while nibbling on caviar and finagling the guilt-ridden nouveau riche out of their money, hoping to god that this time uther will notice."

arthur glares at him. "look--"

"i may have daddy issues," caspian continues, "but i'm not the only one with daddy issues, is all i'm saying."

this is not going the way caspian had imagined at all. arthur looks like maybe he wants to take caspian's head off, or at least give it a good kick. caspian is grateful for whatever is holding him back, because he has seen arthur hold his own in a fight. after the fight, caspian had commented, rather intelligently, "dude," and arthur just said in an irritated voice, "what? he was tooling up on my sister." (in the end, morgana called arthur an interfering dickcase, arthur called her something worse, and everyone went home angry. arthur took it out on caspian for two days. arthur and morgana, they have a whole 'nother set of issues going on.)

"for all your claiming that you were too smart to cheat in school," arthur says icily, "you're making some horrendously stupid decisions. it's all going to end in hell."

caspian shrugs. "it's the right thing to do." arthur looks away. caspian adds, "they're my friends. i owe it to them." when arthur still doesn't say anything, caspian adds, "and you still owe me from the time you puked on my playstation."

PART 1/2

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

arthur says, "dude," and, "that was ten years ago, genius," and, "like you couldn't afford to replace it," but eventually also says, "so, theoretically, what would you want me to do? THEORETICALLY."

caspian grins, gracious in victory. "well," he says, "you know the charity function you're holding at the smithsonian next week? i need four tickets for that, and they actually have to be on the guest list, you know?"

-
-

"how did caspian finagle this?" peter hisses at susan, even though on the surface he's smiling his thousand-watt smile and projecting charm in all direction. men and women are flocking to him like bees to honey and peter charms them with some story about the only narnia plantation in africa, the one that still technically belongs to the pevensie family (well, the king family, to use their cover names) but that no one's seen since WWII.

susan just smiles and drinks champagne, watching caspian and lucy work their way through the crowd. her biggest fear is that someone is going to recognize peter -- he's memorable, and has never gone to particular lengths to hide it -- or caspian, though it's been years since caspian was in any kind of society and peter is a professional.

then a familiar voice says, "and how are we enjoying -- jesus god, susan and peter," as arthur pendragon gapes at them.

peter slides gracefully away from his knot of new fans and says smoothly, "arthur! how have you been? this is just a magnificent show; i haven't been here in an age."

if by an age you mean, "since yesterday," of course, susan thinks ungraciously.

"you," arthur sputters, then his gaze darts around the room to settle on caspian's dark head, "i didn't invite you."

peter's hand clamps down on his wrist, serpent-swift, and he drags arthur sideways into an alcove, susan following and deflecting attention.

"hey," arthur protests, trying to fight free," but peter bends his head close to his ear and murmurs, as sweetly as if he's offering up some kind of filthy, filthy suggestion, "do you really want to make a scene, pendragon? because i can arrange that, and it won't look good for you, at all. all i need is three minutes in public with you and i can destroy everything the pendragon foundation has ever built."

that makes arthur shut up.

susan draws a curtain shut across the entrance to the alcove and peter shoves arthur back against the wall and stands back, watching him through lowered lashes.

"here's what you're going to do," peter says, "in a couple minutes, you're going to go back out there and pretend you've never seen me or susan before and that we've just met for the first time. my name is peter king, this is my wife susan king. we're from narnia enterprises, and you invited us here. we are on the guest list."

"you're thieves," arthur splutters. "i'm going to kill caspian."

susan blinks. "you know caspian?" she says, surprised. she hadn't thought that the telmarine corporation and the pendragon foundation exactly ran in the same circles.

"dude," arthur says, a little less than intelligently, "we were roommates at yale for four years and we shared an apartment in allston when we were both at harvard business. up until he got himself kicked out of b-school, we were best friends."

"he's been holding out on us," peter says brightly.

"so have you!" arthur exclaims. "you said you were a reporter," he says accusingly to susan.

she shrugs. "i lied."

"and he's not your husband, is he?"

"no," peter says.

"and your name isn't king!" arthur exclaims. then he pauses and squints at them. in tones of resigned horror, he says, "it's pevensie, isn't it."

peter just raises his eyebrows.

PART 2/2

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

which is when caspian and lucy duck into the alcove. it makes it a little crowded.

"are we having a party i didn't know about?" lucy asks brightly.

"my uncle is here," caspian says accusingly.

"cas, you are so struck from my christmas card list," arthur announces.

"you don't even know where i live," caspian points out.

"miraz would be here because he's invited," arthur says primly. "not that he ever gives half as much money as he should or as he could. aside from breaking into my apartment and drinking my booze, now you want to dictate my guest list?"

"you used to try and dictate my girlfriends," caspian shoots back.

"hey, gwen was hung up on lancelot, sophie and i were together, and you and morgana would have made a cute couple. and a good business match, too."

"morgana once set my bed on fire!"

"she thought it was mine!"

peter snaps his fingers. "let's save the reminiscing for later, shall we? right now let's concentrate on saving my brother's life."

arthur squints at him suspiciously. "what does my function have to do with your brother's life? and the mafia?"

"how much did you tell him?" susan demands of caspian.

he waves his hands. "not everything."

"really? because it's starting to sound like it!"

"are you planning to rip me off?" arthur demands.

"don't be ridiculous," peter says. "we don't steal from charitable foundations. that's just tacky."

"what are you planning to steal from the museum?"

"listen," caspian says, "you've already done all you have to do. we'll handle the rest. don't worry!"

arthur stares at him. "dude," he says, "the last time i let you handle anything you got kicked out of business school for cheating and we had a group project. what kind of fast talking do you think i had to do in order to get out that mess?"

"that wasn't my fault!" caspian protests, and peter snaps his fingers again.

"the trust fund club can hold its reunion later," he says. "we'll handle this. don't worry about anything," he says to arthur. "okay, you three leave, i just want a few more words with arthur here."

"peter," susan begins, but he waves her away, so she starts to bite her lip, stops because it might smear her lipstick.

great. now she and caspian both have to avoid miraz.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

"arthur!" merlin hisses when he and peter king emerge from the alcove. arthur looks a bit disgruntled, but king looks quite pleased with himself. king takes two champagne flutes from a passing waiter, hands one to arthur, pats his shoulder, and disappears into the crowd.

"arthur!" merlin says again. he pushes past a knot of people conversing about the prices of things these days. "arthur--"

"not now, merlin."

"peter king isn't who you think he is," merlin blurts out.

arthur downs the champagne in one pull. "tell me about it."

"well, gwen and i thought he looked familiar, so we googled--"

"i was being sarcastic," arthur cuts in. "merlin. sarcasm, have you heard of it? did they not have that where you grew up?"

"you can't trust him," merlin continues, undeterred. "peter pevensie is wanted in several states, he's been in jail TWICE, and you remember when caspian's uncle's casino got ripped off?"

arthur raises his eyebrow. "that was him?"

"that was him."

he sighs. "of course it was."

"i'll call security," says merlin, and begins to rush off but arthur catches his arm.

"merlin, no." arthur looks him in the eyes, all serious and shit. "don't call security. don't talk to the pevensies. don't--"

"the pevensies?" says merlin. "there's more than one here?"

arthur lowers his voice and discreetly points his glass in susan's direction, eyes averted. "his sister's here. she may look familiar to you."

merlin swivels his head around in a not very subtle manner, and gapes. "arthur, is that--"

"yes. and don't stare."

"weren't you--"

"yes."

"and she's--"

"yes!" arthur cries out, and nearby guests pause their chatter to look at him curiously. he smiles brightly at them as he recedes into a quieter corner, dragging merlin behind him. then he glares at merlin and says, "look, i just need you to stay out of their way. and stay out of mine. it's been a crazy week and it's only going to get crazier, so let's just... you know, go about our business," arthur finishes lamely.

"arthur, what's going on?"

"and don't run off trying to be the hero," warns arthur. "it doesn't suit you."

"arthur--"

"this is not what i had in mind when i went into philanthropy," the young pendragon declares, and turns around and dives back into the party, leaving merlin staring after him with his usual expression of confused alarm.



i have to find gaius, merlin thinks with determination, and speeds off to the service entrance.