this 'rejuvenated' graphic makes me giggle

[whynot]

In Tokyo, they wouldn't let us deplane before a group of people in nuclear fallout suits heat-sensor us and confirm our swine flu status. Like, the entire plane's status. Like they count the health forms we had to fill in ("Have you sat next to someone who sneezed constantly?"), and if the number of forms don't match the number of people on the plane, no one is allowed to disembark. These guys get extra points for using pieces of packaging tape to seal the backs of their nuclear fallout suits, though. Keep it classy, airport health officials. Plus, we get free face masks!

Few things rock harder than being upgraded to business class on your 24-hour plane trip of doom across the world. Thanks, Northwest-cum-Delta! On a day I had expected to be heavy with goodbye and claustrophobic with economy seating, I got champagne platters for dinner and more on-demand movies than I knew what to do with. Yay! So, my thoughts on:

1. Inkheart. Mostly I got questions about this silvertongue ability. Maybe it's 'cos I didn't read the books. But what if these silvertongues read nonfiction aloud? Does it still come to life if it's already... there, being nonfiction? Or what if we just think it's nonfiction, and reading it aloud reveals it to be pretty fictiony? What if he read something in the second-person e.g. Fight Club? Does it then happen to YOU, like for real YOU? What if he's reading the biography of someone still living, do they get teleported to where you are? Can he kill you just by reading out loud a medical synopsis of how a heart attack happens?

I have two lines of Inkheart fic: Farid cupped his hands as if scooping water from a stream, and blew across his palms.

"Very good," said Dustfinger, after stamping out the flames on his coat. "But remember that a little goes a long way."

Because Farid's mancrush on Dustfinger is the adorablest ever! Halfway through the movie, I was already thinking, "omg, they should just travel this world and have adventures together and maybe develop codependency issues!," which I thought was what was going to happen for a bit, but then no. Oh well.

Paul Bettany is so smoking hot in this movie, I cannot even.


2. Defiance. Lovely, but FUCKING DEPRESSING. After the first fifteen minutes, I didn't even know know how much more I could take of it. (I took it all.) It's just that spending forever on a plane makes you a little loopy, and I was already feeling kind of down from goodbyes and a slight hangover, and, in general, I was quite bleargh. So when this movie was like, "WHAT IF YOUR LOVED ONES DIE", I was all D-:

That said, the rabbi and the intellectual were awesome together. Huddling together under one blanket in some shitty-ass hut in the middle of winter and STILL PLAYING CHESS. Bless them!

Also amazing was the eulogy the rabbi gave. Choose another people. Take our holiness away from us. <3 wow.


3. Benjamin Button. Um, also sad. I really should have gone for lighter fare this time around, all things considered, but I really wanted to see this (and Defiance).
-- OMG TILDA (jaaaadis!) holy shit her character rings so true. I want an icon of her wearing that large hat in the elevator. AND THEN SHE SWAM THE CHANNEL. So great. Not really relatedly: I want some Edmund/Jadis now?
-- The twins who got along on water but hate each other's guts on land! Kind of reminds me of the guy in Pullman's HDM whose daemon was a porpoise, and so they were always at sea.
-- features a couple of the same songs from O Brother Where Art Thou and maybe Cold Mountain, covered by different artists
-- Is it possible for Brad Pitt to look a day over 30 ever? I mean without the prosthetics and make-up. How is he still so hot??


4. Gran Torino. When I hang out with people who have Walter Kowalski's casually racist attitude, sometimes I just don't know what the hell to do about it. I like to think of it as picking my battles, but when was the last time I picked such a battle anyway? Is it just complacency and excuses? People try to be genuine and edgy, but then they do it wrong and end up assholes.

I did like the movie. I adore how mean old Clint Eastwood is reluctantly drawn into genuinely caring for these two kids and becoming protective of them. Getting Thao a job and telling him to nut up and ask that girl out, and teaching him to talk like a man lololol oh Clint Eastwood, you old codger.

And Clint Eastwood's srs bsns angry face is HILARIOUS.

"My ass sure is sore from the guys at my construction work." omg Thao! <3

There's overtones of the "lost white man redeemed by a people foreign to him" thing going on. Not to say that I've never been guilty of thinking "ooh, this will surely give me back my sense of self", but like, this people and their culture don't exist solely for your personal therapy, Mr. Kowalski.


5. Milk. Because I needed something uplifting. Not that a hate assassination is all sparkles and unicorns, but Milk had the most vitality and energy out of all these movies. And Emile Hirsch was adorbz. Jesus Christ, this movie (and Benjamin Button) makes me want to do fucking SOMETHING with my life. And that "malinka malinka maya" song was the song in Skins that Michelle and Jal sang in that Russian bar with the soldiers!

How delightful have the last couple of Office episodes been? Answer: very! There is nothing more delightful than Cafe Disco (NOT DISCO CAFE). I loved that everyone got into it. I loved that even Dwight thought it was a good song, and that even Angela was moving her foot in time! And that Bob cut in to dance with Phyllis, 'cos let's face it, everything about Dwight massaging Phyllis was the best ever, but especially touching was her surprise confession. (Like that scene from Six Feet Under where whatsherface goes in for a massage with Brenda!) Everything in the Cafe Disco episode was just made of pure joy. AND THEN Kelly and Andy had a dance-off and augh, why can't they see that they are totally MFEO, Kelly/Andy 4eva! I also <3 that Erin is a sweetheart who appears to be down for anything.

HOLLY IS TOTALLY CRYSTALCOOL oh Holly never leave again. I was so proud of Michael when he decided not to pour his awkward heart out to her after all. It's fine as it is, Michael, don't you worry, you two will be together again someday. Just have faith!

Other <3:
-- "Eating lunch alone. It might as well be dinner."
-- SLUMDUNDER MIFFLINAIRE and just the inappropriateness of the skit in general

Has anyone already written The Office/Parks & Recreation crossover fic? If not, then WHY?? On an FNL note, what the hell happened to Santiago, he of the Trail of Dead tackle music?

+

Narnia Exchange is just around the riverbend! I'm not co-modding this time, but I am totally participating. What should I even request?!

[Poll #1403587]

ETA: Still one more DW invite code up for grabs. Anyone? Bueller?

Comments

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

I think Lewis would say Susan would have ignored the wardrobe, thought she had fallen asleep in there or something. Lucy finding the witch - oh you just know the witch would've been so *nice* to her and so beautiful and queenly and Lucy would've loved her. The idea of Lucy and Edmund switching roles kind of scares me, in a good way.

yeah, I had sort of thought that the panic really was over, it has such a low morbidity rate, so on and so forth - but maybe that's just in the US? parts of the US?

I dunno, but the internet does! http://www.kaikracht.de/balalaika/english/songs/kali_txt.htm

that line means "Juniper, juniper, my juniper" which is lovely. The words don't look familiar to me, they look like a different spelling. weird.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

YES OH MAN. There should AU fic called like "Three Times Lucy Didn't Discover the Wardrobe First and One Time She Did", and the last one is about her thinking Jadis awesome. The Pevensies serving as the Knights of Jadis is also an intriguing idea, though I think she's too smart to do something like that. And still Aslan calls to them, and to Lucy most of all, but the White Witch is dismissive and tells them tales of Aslan's nefariousness. This land is not his because lions are creatures of warmer climes, she says. What is he in this world but an aberration in the landscape? Aslan means to change this land and recreate it in his image. Edmund, shivering though in furs, says he could do with a bit of warmer climes, and Susan shushes him and tells him he's being rude.

I'm intrigued by the idea of Susan ignoring the world she finds in the wardrobe. And like when Narnia calls her, she ends up going anyway, still telling herself it's a dream, and when the Witch is finally fed up and is like, "no seriously, bring your siblings next time", Susan tells Lucy first, because Lucy has a talent for believing.

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

If they were all "taken in" by Jadis, do you think Edmund would be the most rebellious toward Aslan? Because his main reason for going with Jadis was to get back at his siblings, it seemed, and have something they didn't, go somewhere they couldn't.
However, then you could get them really close to being killed, she'll have them all in the same place - somewhere ceremonial probably since she's feeling confident by now - and then some supernatural intervention happens or a rescue party!

Ooh, yes, she would tell Lucy! I like it! And then it would be a weird girls vs boys thing? Or the girls would disappear and Peter would follow, or something like that - if it began differently, would it end differently? Would they all be themselves as Kings and Queens in the end, would Aslan embrace them, would he sacrifice himself? dude crazy.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

!!! so who is Edmund without his unique betrayal? How would Edmund's betrayal shape the other Pevensies? 'Cos if they were all taken in Jadis, they all betray Aslan. Hmm, I'm pretty sure Aslan would appear to them and try to win them over -- I wonder who'll be the most affected by that and why. I guess Lucy still. Peter would try to be manly and protective of his siblings against Aslan, and Susan would be rule-abiding.

WHAT IF Jadis plays them all against each other for her favor? Divide and conquer!

Right?! It all depends on who goes through the wardrobe first and what they do there. Would there be a Golden Age, or would their being touched by darkness hamper it all?! I can't see Aslan not embracing them all again. He is Jesus, after all. He forgives all. fhdjskfhdk but then they are ALL (not just Edmund) bound to him by forgiveness. Their ties to him are more similarly shaped, so maybe Susan doesn't stray?! Maybe someone else does though. Maybe whoever it is that meets Jadis first. And how does this affect their attitude towards getting booted out of Narnia?

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

Susan respects authority, and Peter is authoritative. their combined powers are pretty... magnetic. oh boy.
There's something essential about Lucy that makes her so so very connected to Aslan.

omg, playing them against each other! that would be so crazy and I would totally cry but woah. my mind can't handle this idea, a house divided.

I want to study Susan's development, I really do. I want to know how she changed between one visit to Narnia and the next, what happened to her in England that didn't to the others, or what happened to them that didn't to her.

I would love to see them bound to him by forgiveness but also, like Edmund, understanding two sides as the Just. Would they be like born-agains, even more fanatic after conversion, or would they see this more as a morally relative situation? If the latter, they'd struggle against Aslan while at the same time loving him - like real people, you know? Not just innocent children. oh wow.

And how does this affect their attitude towards getting booted out of Narnia?
Oh man. They would probably be very mad at Aslan. Very, very mad. Or they might consider the possibility that it was a Deeper Magic that did it, or some dark forces like the Witch.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

their combined powers are pretty... magnetic.
EXACTLY. He may be her king and knight, but she is his I dunno maybe partner in crime, except they're too square to really crime it up. The Witch sees she has to divide them and the faux-parents thing they got going on. She encourages Edmund's jealousy of Peter and encourages Peter's self-important ordering around of his siblings, who resent it. She plays on Lucy's faith, and Susan's ego, and manipulates everyone to boss Lucy around, oh man all sorts of things. I want to study your study of Susan's development, omg!

they'd struggle against Aslan while at the same time loving him - like real people
THIS. It could be a real poignant thing about faith and love, yes.

Being wrenched from their god a second time would probably just turn them cynical. Everyone leaves you, even gods. Perhaps especially gods. Used to be that gods talked to you all the time, in the past, but in the present they only have each other, and a promise: once a king and queen of Narnia...

But Jadis had also said they would rule this land.

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

Lol, they are so square. And I love it. No matter how silly the idea of chivalrous noble-minded English schoolchildren is in this modern age of modern writing, I can't divorce them from CS Lewis' characterization in my mind. They are law-abiding rule-following citizens of a nation, whether or not they're king and queen.

I think both Lucy and Edmund could get a victimization thing going on. Like crazy. I wonder if she'd have an understanding of sorts with Susan, who just wants out of there? They are very closely allied for all intents and purposes in that LWW scene where the wolf is telling Peter to go back, and she's telling him to put down the sword, and the wolf tells Peter to listen to her.

This ideal CS Lewis has, of children in Christ, bugs the heck out of me. It is lovely but it does not last, which I think he recognizes by kicking them out of Narnia. How does he expect them to keep the faith? You're right, I can't imagine them not being cynical.

But Jadis had also said they would rule this land.
ooohhhhhh *shiver* She is like a prophetess or maybe even a real power - she is a real power, look at what she did to Narnia for 100 years.

I would love to see her and Aslan as part of a monistic system where good and evil are just complimentary equals, necessary forces to the universe, not fundamentally exclusive or eternally opposed to each other. It makes me think of your Calormen fic where she is still a part of the world, she gets reconciled into the universe instead of kicked out as something wrong with it.

I think that's maybe what Neil Gaiman was trying to get at in The Problem of Susan - making Aslan and the Witch both equally necessary forces. Except being really weird about it too.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

But like in a world where the trend is to tend towards irony and self-deprecation, Peter and Susan's sincerity totally undo me. They love their family and their land, she loves her king, they are kicked out, he loves his past, she seeks her future, and hsakjfdshhhhhhh. Can you change and keep the faith? Lewis doesn't seem to think so, yeah. Is it that he comes from a tradition that is heavily anchored in the past, legacy, tradition, and history? It's like this thing I read somewhere about historiography, about how older historical accounts tend be more dichotomized into those that see their civilization on the up and up, and those that see their civilization as a downward spiral from a golden age. Like the past is the only real thing, like if history were Plato's cave then the present is the shadow.

I forget how close Susan and Lucy should be sometimes. They have to have the girl thing going on, as much as Lucy is a tomboy and Susan is Miss Universe, but I bet they gang up on the boys about certain things, or cover for each other when the other is off on, whatever, secret dates or partying with Fauns or something. Cool Peter off when he's being too overprotective. Lady business!

Hahahaha, the Problem of Susan was SO WEIRD. I wanted to like it. I wanted to finish all 7 books before reading it, but I didn't have that much patience and I was like, "Wow, even when the pros write Narnia fic, it's completely inappropriate." What is it about Narnia that inspires inappropriate fics? I was also quite tickled by the fact that there are lots of Narnia fic better than the one Neil Gaiman wrote.

I was telling Wyrm one time about my idea for a retelling of LWW but using Asian mythologies. Like maybe the siblings are hiding out from communist purges, or the Japanese in WW2, or whatever. And in the magic world, Tumnus is Hanuman the mischievous monkey god, Jadis is Nyi Roro Kidul who is Queen of the South Seas, and Aslan is Garuda, the magical bird creature. And instead of eternal winter, maybe Nyi Roro Kidul seeks to drown the world so she can rule over it. OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I'm just using figures from Indonesian myth here, but even Indonesian myth rips off a lot from Sanskrit mythology, so there you go. And there are totally better parallels than Garuda and Nyi Roro Kidul to illustrate that 'good vs. evil' is just 'thesis vs. antithesis', but I don't know know what they would be. 'Cos hopefully the story won't be a wholesale LWW ripoff, it's going to reflect a different belief system. Like maybe it turns out that Jadis and Aslan are just incarnations of the same god.

I like to see Jadis as being very similar to Kali. They call her the goddess of destruction, but it is a necessary destruction, just another step in the cycle. She is instrumental in rebirth. She is also a goddess of time and change. And OH OH (okay, the next part is the fruit of brief Wikipedia-ing), OKAY, so Jadis is like Kali and Aslan is like Shiva (ALSO a destroyer and transformer), who is Kali's consort (lol gaiman) who meditates on a bed of ashes from cremation (with which Kali is associated too of course). AND THEN, so Shiva drinks the poison of the seas to save the world, which WITH SOME TWEAKING can totally be how he saves the world from Nyi Roro Kidul-induced drowning. \o/!

Ummm, this is some tangled mything around, but it's not like Lewis tried any harder either. Argh, to write this I would need to know so much more about eastern religion.