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"An international fax costs HOW MUCH per page??"
-- People say "he's the kind of person you want handling your money" the way people say "he's kind of a dick".
-- I skipped ahead to the episode of The Tudors with Katie McGrath in it. She was in it for less than a minute. Jonathan Rhys Meyers meets her in a forest, then screws her doggie-style. THE END.
-- Because it DOESN'T STOP, I started pondering a conference admin AU. Morgana negotiating with Uther (who is at HQ in another country) over the phone saying that the delegation from wherever also wants to be reimbursed for X and Y, and Uther is like, "HAHAHA TELL ME ANOTHER ONE." And when a delegate goes overtime for his speech, Gwen is the one who smiles really big and cuts in, "Thank you, that was lovely! And now we will relocate for lunch."
Will is the intern. He wanted to watch the panels, and Arthur said he could, but somehow he ended up spending the whole afternoon photocopying boarding passes and faxing affidavits to Dusseldorf. PoorLass Will. :(
Arthur, head organizer, confronts Merlin and says, "It's wonderful that you've taken on the intern and are helping him settle into all this, but remember you are NOT his task sponge. I don't want you running around with the attendance sheet and confirming their field day activities or whatever -- that's Will's job. You're the rapporteur. You have your own tasks to do." Finger wagging in Merlin's face and everything. "And you still haven't turned in a draft of the outline!"
But Arthur still sees Will and Merlin taking their cigarette breaks together and god, don't they know that cigarettes are bad for their health? If Arthur smoked, he could totally be out there with Merlin, with them, laughing about whatever, but he DOESN'T smoke, because cigarettes are NASTY, and if Merlin can't see that then well, that's not Arthur's problem. Now where the fuck are those evaluation forms?
"You asked for these?" Gwen says, and hands Arthur twenty photocopies of the evaluation form. God, he loves her.
-- I skipped ahead to the episode of The Tudors with Katie McGrath in it. She was in it for less than a minute. Jonathan Rhys Meyers meets her in a forest, then screws her doggie-style. THE END.
-- Because it DOESN'T STOP, I started pondering a conference admin AU. Morgana negotiating with Uther (who is at HQ in another country) over the phone saying that the delegation from wherever also wants to be reimbursed for X and Y, and Uther is like, "HAHAHA TELL ME ANOTHER ONE." And when a delegate goes overtime for his speech, Gwen is the one who smiles really big and cuts in, "Thank you, that was lovely! And now we will relocate for lunch."
Will is the intern. He wanted to watch the panels, and Arthur said he could, but somehow he ended up spending the whole afternoon photocopying boarding passes and faxing affidavits to Dusseldorf. Poor
Arthur, head organizer, confronts Merlin and says, "It's wonderful that you've taken on the intern and are helping him settle into all this, but remember you are NOT his task sponge. I don't want you running around with the attendance sheet and confirming their field day activities or whatever -- that's Will's job. You're the rapporteur. You have your own tasks to do." Finger wagging in Merlin's face and everything. "And you still haven't turned in a draft of the outline!"
But Arthur still sees Will and Merlin taking their cigarette breaks together and god, don't they know that cigarettes are bad for their health? If Arthur smoked, he could totally be out there with Merlin, with them, laughing about whatever, but he DOESN'T smoke, because cigarettes are NASTY, and if Merlin can't see that then well, that's not Arthur's problem. Now where the fuck are those evaluation forms?
"You asked for these?" Gwen says, and hands Arthur twenty photocopies of the evaluation form. God, he loves her.
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MORGANA/ANNE YES fhslfjsljfkldsfd*ded from hawt*
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Gwen deals with the drunken people who came to the wrong lecture. Definitely.
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...Because I am incapable of reflecting upon my life without recasting everyone as fictional characters? I worry about me.
Gwen is the one who goes around smoothing the many ruffled feathers that a conference tends to generate. Arthur is the one who gives everyone ten thousand things to do at once, but only because he's working just as hard himself, and also because he figures it's better to overload than underload -- that way SOMETHING will get done.
The lack of free wireless in the convention center annoys Morgana because Uther gets PISSED OFF when his emails (especially the money-related ones) aren't replied to in a timely manner. It annoys Gwen because she can't double-check facts during debates. It annoys Will because he can't check his favorite music blogs and what else is there to do when Gaius is talking about the biology of fish.
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Nobody bets against him yelling at someone anymore, but they can get plenty of bets on Morgana. She's a lot more unpredictable.
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Also, THE AU's SPAWNED BY YOU AND THE REST OF THIS FANDOM. I LOVE THIS. *flails*
...Now if only my own AU could come along nicely. *wishful thinking*
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Spawned by watching random dudes in Amsterdam play beach volleyball on a very cold day. It wouldn't leave me alone when I didn't have access to a computer, and now that I do, it kinda flailed and died (mostly because the first chapter is just so freaking AWKWARD when I wrote it).
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I forget where I read that, but it's been pretty trufax.
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...and then they have sex in a supply closet.
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And afterward they check each other's appearance to make sure their shirts are buttoned correctly and that make-up isn't smudged in unseemly places. "All right?" "All right. And me?" "Perfect." And then off they go to competently administrate a conference.
ALSO: the office camera that Will has been using to take photos of the delegates, like, doing resource mapping and stuff? Arthur is downloading the pictures onto his laptop, and what does he find but photos of Will, Merlin, Gwen, and Morgana at the bar, looking happy and drunk. A photo of a group toast. A photo of Morgana kissing Gwen's cheek while Gwen makes this face: XD. A BUNCH of photos of them all making stupid faces actually. A photo of Merlin grinning and ruffling Will's hair. A photo of Merlin and Will having a serious-looking conversation. A photo of Merlin laughing. A photo of Merlin frowning into his beer. A photo of Merlin making a peace sign at the camera. Geez, there are a lot of pictures of Merlin in here. A video of Merlin and Will leaning on each other for support as they stumble out of the bar, saying things like, "You all right getting back to your room?"
"I'm all right getting to my room."
"You want help getting to your room?"
"I can use some help getting back to my room."
as the camera wobbles in tandem with Gwen and Morgana's giggling.
So the next day Arthur descends upon Merlin and Will's cigarette break with the anger of a THOUSAND SUNS and is like, "THIS IS A COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE USE OF OFFICE PROPERTY. ALSO WHY WASN'T I INVITED." Well, Arthur doesn't say the second part, but he thinks it.
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(The real reason Arthur doesn't smoke is that the first time he tried it, the cigarette he was bumming was a Red 100 and then he smoked two more in succession just to prove he could and was sick for like an hour, headache and everything, and he's not going to limit his productivity like that ever again, and also, he cares for his body, unlike some people.)
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uggggghhhhhh :( poor baby. omg he thinks about it in terms of LIMITED PRODUCTIVITY, of course he would. These cigarette breaks, they're so inefficient. You know how much Arthur can do in the space it takes someone to go outside and suck one down? A LOT, that's what. Maybe he should talk to Merlin about it, so don't ever say he doesn't care about his co-workers' health.
CRISIS OF THE DAY: very few of the delegates' laptops' plugs match the outlets in the wall. This plug/outlet bullshit, it HAS to be a conspiracy by the adapter companies or whatever. Like how they actually make lightbulbs that last forever, but they don't, for the $$$. Shit shit shit, the country presentations are going to start soon, who can we send off to buy some adapters??
Arthur says, "Hey Will."
Will pauses his collating and looks up apprehensively. "Yes?"
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Of course shortly after he sends Will to get adapters, he realizes that they already have some in that supply closet, the one where he and Gwen (but he's not thinking about that), but it was an emergency: he wasn't thinking (about that), and you can never have too many adapters, the damn things are always shorting when you need them most, or else you find out that you only have the ones with two sockets instead of three...and he's thinking about it. HE CAN'T BE EXPECTED TO WORK UNDER THESE CONDITIONS, HE'S NOT MADE OF STONE. Alright. Bathroom break. Different Bathroom. This is getting ridiculous, he goes back to his office and pages Gwen. It's not sexual harassment, they know each other well enough that she knows she's not obligated, and they've done it before, and yeah this feels like frantic justification, but of course she can say, only he really, really likes her and he's also he's desperate. Maybe not in that order.
"If you ever want me to, you know, return to favor - " he offers as she's fixing her buttons, but she just smiles at him, and reaches across his desk to write something in his planner.
He doesn't check it until after she's left; she's written herself in for 10-15 minute slots for the rest of the week (in pen.)
It's nice to have people on the staff as organized as Guinevere is.
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WHAT ARTHUR NEEDS is one of those doohickeys that's half adaptor and, like, half Transformer robot, where plastic and metal bits shift left and right and suddenly it's a plug for Australia. Shift left and right some more and suddenly it's a plug for the UK. Shift shift shift and suddenly it's a plug for the USA. He should try to get it in the budget for next time. Hmm, meaning he should talk to father. He should talk to Morgana, in other words. She knows how to bend him. She knows how to bend them both, and Arthur sometimes resents her for it.
It's not like no one knows what Arthur and Gwen do in supply closets. Will knows, and he thinks Arthur an even bigger idiot than ever before. If Will was tapping it with Gwen, he certainly wouldn't care if Merlin was hanging out too much with the intern, but Arthur's motives have always been inscrutable to Will from the start anyway. Who knows what goes on in the Pendragon psyche?
"It's not that," Morgana tells him. "Gwen is beautiful, but you don't love someone because they're beautiful. They're beautiful because you love them."
Will retains his skeptical expression. "You saying that Arthur loves Merlin?"
"What I'm saying," Morgana says patiently, "is that--"
"Hi guys!" Gwen chirrups, bounding up to them. "Have you seen Arthur?"
"Have you checked the supply closet?" Will asks, and Morgana rolls her eyes at him.
Merlin smokes Camel Lights, but Will smokes Parliaments, and Will buys packs more regularly than Merlin does, so Merlin ends up bumming from him a lot. Will doesn't seem to mind. He would take a stick from his pack and automatically offer one to Merlin, and if Merlin said no, Will would frown and say, "Oh?" like worried that something was wrong. Merlin acclimates himself to Parliaments, is what I'm trying to say.
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