HOLY SHIT. This! Is! Amazing! It's like Merlin RPF if Merlin RPF was a trippy, Gothic novel turned into a horror movie by Tim Burton! HENCE: AMAZING. adkjfjadkfjkfj I LOVE YOUUUUUU (despite the fact that now I want to rip up my draft and start all over again, because it pales considerably compared to the amazing that is THIS). God, it was so fun going through this and BASKING IN THE GLORY and also picking out the parts I'd written. ♥ ALSO, NOW I WILL QUOTE MY FAVORITE BITS BACK AT YOU.
the script, broken, / "you said you were hungry"
I love how you turned this from slightly malicious goading into something so weirdly sinister. Actually, ALL OF THE DIALOGUE IS WEIRDLY SINISTER. When I read this I had to stop a bunch of times and go "I wrote that?" The way you've transfigured everything is just SO AMAZING, AUGH.
She reached down and ripped off his mouth / pick up the script / rearrange / it would be rude not to inflict any damage
FUCKING A. This reminds me of those moments in horror movies where the main character sees something particularly horrifying in a mirror, or something, and then they blink and everything is fine. Reached down and ripped off his mouth. FAVORITE.
she wants to wake the dead / he’s a fire, hungry
So pretty, so creepy.
As the words from her mouth hit panic because “He’s fine, / honest to God” (in a coma, paralyzed, dead)
THE WAY YOU'VE WARPED AND POSITIONED ALL THE WORDS HERE MAKES ME FLAIL, JESUS CHRIST.
“I’m not going to die.” / a joke, / but he doesn’t find it very funny.
I love this a lot, because these bits are taken almost verbatim from the original text and the meaning is intact, but they take on a whole other meaning (oh dark, cynical humor) give the context of this fic.
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the script, broken, / "you said you were hungry"
I love how you turned this from slightly malicious goading into something so weirdly sinister. Actually, ALL OF THE DIALOGUE IS WEIRDLY SINISTER. When I read this I had to stop a bunch of times and go "I wrote that?" The way you've transfigured everything is just SO AMAZING, AUGH.
She reached down and ripped off his mouth / pick up the script / rearrange / it would be rude not to inflict any damage
FUCKING A. This reminds me of those moments in horror movies where the main character sees something particularly horrifying in a mirror, or something, and then they blink and everything is fine. Reached down and ripped off his mouth. FAVORITE.
she wants to wake the dead / he’s a fire, hungry
So pretty, so creepy.
As the words from her mouth hit panic because “He’s fine, / honest to God” (in a coma, paralyzed, dead)
THE WAY YOU'VE WARPED AND POSITIONED ALL THE WORDS HERE MAKES ME FLAIL, JESUS CHRIST.
“I’m not going to die.” / a joke, / but he doesn’t find it very funny.
I love this a lot, because these bits are taken almost verbatim from the original text and the meaning is intact, but they take on a whole other meaning (oh dark, cynical humor) give the context of this fic.