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overthinking things that aren't meant to be overthought: the 90s kids show version
fhskfhjkd HOUSING WOE jhfldjsflksdjfd JOB FAIR WOE jfkdsjfdl it is time to distract myself wiiiiith LIVEJOURNAL. Hello!
Here's the thing about Captain Planet: he's a great superhero, but he's a crap environmentalist. Remember in 'Beast of the Jungle' when he redirected the river? I mean who are you, THE WORLD BANK? Can you imagine this guy in an environmental policy class?
Professor: "Consider the dams in Uttar Pradesh. Let's say you've managed to wrangle a meeting with ADB representatives. You only have 15 minutes to present your argument. What would you do?"
Captain Planet: "I would destroy the dams by throwing some fireballs at it, and then I would tie up the ADB reps with their own Armani ties and drop them in prison! I think I would make quite a splash."
And it's funny how much environmentalism has moved along since the 90s. I'm watching 'Captain Planet' as I work on my thesis about protecting the Philippine seas and sometimes I just lol and lol and lol. Remember in 'Hollywaste' when Kwame said, "Why don't you shoot in a real rainforest instead of cutting them down to make a fake rainforest here?" Yes, let's make a movie in the middle of a real rainforest, that won't cause any environmental destruction at all. I see Captain Planet enthusiastically putting forth environmental solutions that would have horrible socioeconomic side effects in the long term. There's also the dubious matter of what polluting substances disable Captain Planet.
I KNOW, I KNOW, criticizing 'Captain Planet' for envirofail is like bullying unarmed children with a cudgel: anyone can do it but why would you. I love 'Captain Planet', I do, and this is why I want the fic where the grown-up Planeteers have to deal with the politics and bureaucracy of environmental protection. I want them to struggle with cynicism, and doubt Captain Planet, and doubt themselves, all the while still fighting, always fighting, and learning new ways to fight this war. Maybe Dr. Blight is a CEO, maybe one of the Planeteers has to end up working with or under her. Maybe a Planeteer joins Greenpeace and in the middle of defiling some logging company HQ, they wonder, "What the fuck am I doing?"
So. That is pretty much the 'Captain Planet' part of my Yuletide letter done.
And here is maybe something for the 'Jonny Quest' part too. I was thinking about how in both the universes of JQ and CP, magic exists alongside science. It is not emphasized, but it's there, whether it's guardian spirits or *deep breath* Hadji going SIM SIM SALABIM and bending the bars of his cage open. It's pretty interesting considering how both shows -- well, more JQ than CP -- is all like ~*SCIENCE*~, or at least "cool technology!!". What kind of a modern world is that to live in, I wonder, where magic and science are both quite factual? Why are they mostly separate instead of working together?
I am sad to see that no one requested 'Ocean Girl' fic even though 3 people offered to write. Perhaps I will write one as a stocking stuffer?
eta: there are exactly 1337 emails in my inbox lolol
Here's the thing about Captain Planet: he's a great superhero, but he's a crap environmentalist. Remember in 'Beast of the Jungle' when he redirected the river? I mean who are you, THE WORLD BANK? Can you imagine this guy in an environmental policy class?
Professor: "Consider the dams in Uttar Pradesh. Let's say you've managed to wrangle a meeting with ADB representatives. You only have 15 minutes to present your argument. What would you do?"
Captain Planet: "I would destroy the dams by throwing some fireballs at it, and then I would tie up the ADB reps with their own Armani ties and drop them in prison! I think I would make quite a splash."
And it's funny how much environmentalism has moved along since the 90s. I'm watching 'Captain Planet' as I work on my thesis about protecting the Philippine seas and sometimes I just lol and lol and lol. Remember in 'Hollywaste' when Kwame said, "Why don't you shoot in a real rainforest instead of cutting them down to make a fake rainforest here?" Yes, let's make a movie in the middle of a real rainforest, that won't cause any environmental destruction at all. I see Captain Planet enthusiastically putting forth environmental solutions that would have horrible socioeconomic side effects in the long term. There's also the dubious matter of what polluting substances disable Captain Planet.
I KNOW, I KNOW, criticizing 'Captain Planet' for envirofail is like bullying unarmed children with a cudgel: anyone can do it but why would you. I love 'Captain Planet', I do, and this is why I want the fic where the grown-up Planeteers have to deal with the politics and bureaucracy of environmental protection. I want them to struggle with cynicism, and doubt Captain Planet, and doubt themselves, all the while still fighting, always fighting, and learning new ways to fight this war. Maybe Dr. Blight is a CEO, maybe one of the Planeteers has to end up working with or under her. Maybe a Planeteer joins Greenpeace and in the middle of defiling some logging company HQ, they wonder, "What the fuck am I doing?"
So. That is pretty much the 'Captain Planet' part of my Yuletide letter done.
And here is maybe something for the 'Jonny Quest' part too. I was thinking about how in both the universes of JQ and CP, magic exists alongside science. It is not emphasized, but it's there, whether it's guardian spirits or *deep breath* Hadji going SIM SIM SALABIM and bending the bars of his cage open. It's pretty interesting considering how both shows -- well, more JQ than CP -- is all like ~*SCIENCE*~, or at least "cool technology!!". What kind of a modern world is that to live in, I wonder, where magic and science are both quite factual? Why are they mostly separate instead of working together?
I am sad to see that no one requested 'Ocean Girl' fic even though 3 people offered to write. Perhaps I will write one as a stocking stuffer?
eta: there are exactly 1337 emails in my inbox lolol
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heeeeee! I needed that tonight. Fucking worldview class assuming that everyone taking at it is CHRISTIAN, BECAUSE LIKE DUH, EVERYONE'S A CHRISTIAN HERE. RIGHT? oh my god make it stop. *flails*
*deep breaths* Sorry to get my issues all over your shiny post. But aghkldhgskdg *happy flailing* I cannot wait for Christmas, when I can watch these shows and squee over them with you! ahkgshdg. the only thing keeping me from asking for links right now is that I've already told you not to, in what was clearly a moment of INSANITY.
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It is only but a month away! Soon we can squee about all the 90s kids shows we want!
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I think it might have been yours!
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Fail spelling is my secret power!
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Remember that time they met Hitler?
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And this is why I love your brain.
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I like to think of Captain Planet as useful lies, in that it's useful to take them in so that we can take it apart later and find out why it's a lie. It's so difficult to condense such big issues into bite-sized kid-friendly pieces.