whynot: SPN: all hail (Default)
Lassiter ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2009-12-16 05:17 pm

I'M GONNA START MY NARNIA ESSAY SOON, I SWEAR

IDK, if hiatuses were a class, I would get a big fat F. But there are more important things! For example: porn. Specifically: porn in Australia! And the future lack thereof?! Here's what [livejournal.com profile] ineptshieldmaid has to say about it:

Minister Stephen Conroy has announced that the Australian Federal Government will be censoring our internet access, with legislation to be tabled in Parliament next year. As an Australian consumer and producer of adult content, I reject government censorship. Australian fans reject censorship. Fandom at large rejects censorship (I hope). Thus: a porn-in! A celebration of all the terrible adult content from which Minister Conroy would like to save us.
This porn-in will be taking place at both Ineptshieldmaid's dreamwidth and her livejournal.

IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING PORN-OFF IN.

In other news, the 3-sentence ficathon has become my favorite LJ hangout. It's perfect for my current attention span, and I'm writing in fandoms I would never write in other otherwise. So! Three-sentence fics under the cut! Some (many) of these fandoms have been crossed over with each other.


Harry Potter/Narnia, Edmund/Ginny, rainy streets of London

There is a street in London where the air seems to shimmer and the light bends as if through a veil, and this is where he meets her. Ginny isn't like the other girls, and Edmund is not as surprised as he thinks he should be that he ends up telling her about Jadis. She listens and holds his hand like she knows what it is to be taken, to be made promises to, and to be touched by cold skin and be completely undone.


Chronicles of Narnia/The Matrix, Neo/Trinity/Edmund, "Yes, I know kung fu."

Edmund downloads training modules diligently, and even Trinity has to admit to herself that she hasn't seen such rigor of training since they were prepping Neo to save the world. It's not an unfamiliar coping mechanism; many people who have been rescued from the Matrix like to lose themselves in all sorts of things -- training, drugs, alcohol, crippling depression -- and it's always these first few weeks when they're most volatile.

But Edmund is different, centered, and when Neo tells him later that he's coping strangely well, Edmund just smiles and says it's not his first time dealing with realer realities.


Macbeth/Othello, Lady Macbeth/Iago, nefarious plots

LADY MACBETH
What of that Puck? The words that reach mine ears
Do not so favor him.

IAGO
Perhaps he'll do.
I s'pose we'll fleece him for the fun of it.


Mary Poppins, Michael, carried away on a kite

"You are making quite a racket!" says the pigeon.

"I want to go down!" Michael yelps, and hangs on tighter to the contraption as they sail past the Big Ben.

"Well, yelling about it isn't going to be conducive to the situation either, is it?" the pigeon sniffs, and Michael thinks that for all that it is a pigeon, it is probably right.


Physical Science, Solid/Gas/Liquid, really all the same

Like the triune god of Christianity, they are essentially the same thing, but are different for the satisfaction of our love affair with division. For them to love each other, they must love themselves, and thus accept themselves -- their past, their present, their future. They hold us as we hold them: you rise from the water to breathe in the air, and in the end, the earth will open her arms to receive you.


objective/subjective, it's all in the way you look at it

You cannot love that which does not exist, but the subjective thinks: maybe I love her precisely because she does not exist. But then objectivity appears to him in unexpected moments, solid as anything and bearing proclamations of truth, and it becomes a competition between them to see who is the last to come undone, who will falter, who will succumb. Perhaps she is only a figment of his imagination - a vision of stability born of his own shifting boundaries - but he finds himself wanting to sink into her arms and find refuge in her hard-eyed faith, and he misses her when, inevitably, she fades away.


English, comma/period, always apart

"Yes, the period lives on the eastern border of our land," says the sentence, but when the comma asks him how he can find her, the sentence refuses to answer.

"She has no wish to see you, comma," the sentence proclaims. "The two of you were never even meant to meet."


Narnia, Edmund/girl!Edmund, meeting

He doesn't ask her name because he doesn't need to. There is such familiarity in her movements that he can almost predict her next step, and when they stand face to face, eye to eye, he doesn't ask her secrets because he already knows.

"I am not strange to you, Ed?" she teases, and he replies, "I have experienced things far stranger," as he leans in for a kiss.


The Real Adventures of Jonny Quest, Jonny, his (and/or his friends') reaction to the rumors of Zac Efron being hired to play him

"It's an improvement on your face, I suppose," Jessie shrugs.

"I'd like to see him outrun me on a Questworld hovercraft," Jonny mutters, "'cos you know they're just gonna do all that in CGI."

"To be fair," Hadji says, "Questworld is pretty much all CGI."


Macdonald Hall, Bruno/Boots, falling asleep together

During finals, Boots wakes up in a mess of history notes and Bruno Walton's limbs. The last thing he remembers is reviewing the Napoleonic War on his bed as Bruno sat on his chair and complained about how boring Napoleon actually was, but apparently that was last night, and now it's the morning and Bruno is snoring in his ear. Maybe Boots should be wondering why Bruno is in his bed, but truth be told, he doesn't mind (he really doesn't), and he shifts so their bodies align more comfortably and falls back asleep with Bruno's arm around him.


Macdonald Hall, Bruno/Boots, "it took you two long enough"

"It took us long enough," says Bruno.

"I guess it did," Boots admits, not without a smile.

And finally, finally, Bruno kisses him -- which is when Sidney Rampulsky appears around the corner, sees them, and trips over his feet in surprise.


Narnia/Macdonald Hall, Bruno and Edmund, mischief

"Stop that!" Edmund commands as Bruno swings the sword around. "It's just for show and we're not actually going to kill anyone at the meeting, all right?"

"I know, I know," Bruno says in an assuring tone as he nearly lops the head off a nearby faun.


And I'm just gonna link to these because they got a bit round-robinny:
Merlin/Wall*E, Arthur & Wall*E, "it can't be your MANservant if it's not a MAN"
Wall*E/Merlin, Morgana & Wall*E, "Can I keep it?"
Narnia/Wall*E, Susan & Wall*E, companion
Because Wall*E is the bestest BFF anyone can ask for.

A few 3-sentence recs i.e. I wish they were longer!:
Merlin, Arthur & Uther & Morgana, the ties that bind
Narnia/Supernatural, Edmund and Sam, exasperated younger brothers (Winchesters & Pevensies! I ship them in any combination.)
Narnia/Peter Pan, Susan & Wendy, the sound of settling (This one is long-ish, and well-worth reading. Sort of reads like a companion piece to this.)
Chronicles of Narnia/The Lion King, Edmund and Simba, allies



I'm usually not one to be linking to College Humor, but check out Dangerous Wands, a fake trailer based on Dangerous Minds but set in the Wizarding World with Hermione Granger as Michelle Pfeiffer. ("DO I LOOK LIKE PRO-QUIDDITCH MATERIAL TO YOU?") It's utter crack basically, but UMMM now I kind of want to read the fic? It's so cracked out it came back the other way potentially compelling! What is it like for a socioeconomically disadvantaged wizard kid kicking around at the bottom of the system?! I mean, we've all seen how inept the Ministry of Magic is.

To conclude, 2 Merlinish things:
1) a ficlet I wrote for Memetime with Mordred & Morgana
2) the merlin/morgana drabble!au spam fest!

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