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"Epilogue" - Supernatural - Jimmy Novak - PG13
SIGH. Well that didn't take very long, did it?
You start out writing one vignette, and next thing you know, POOF, it's red pills and rabbit holes. Here's some Dean/Castiel fic disguised as side-character gen. Because why not?
This is dedicated to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
be_themoon, the put-togetherer of the handy-dandy Supernatural primer; almostinstinct, who is a lean mean reccing machine; and lazaefair, because Team Jimmy!
I'm just glad this stayed under 2000 words.
Epilogue
Supernatural. Jimmy/OFC, Dean/Castiel-ish. PG13. Spoilers for 4x20 and sort of but not really 4x22.
After they stopped the Apocalypse, Jimmy Novak's life goes back to normal. ~1642 words
Jimmy still goes to church.
He goes to an Episcopalian one where the pastor is gay and preaches about saving the environment, and is maybe overfond of the singing service. It's nothing like the church services Jimmy used to go to, but that's okay, this is maybe what Jimmy needs. When he was a kid, he had faith in God and the angels, but now Jimmy has knowledge of them too, and it's different. Not better or worse, just different. He just can't believe the same way, and he needs to move on.
Isn't that what any sane person does after indirectly averting the Apocalypse? They move on.
Besides, last week there was a woman next to Jimmy who smiled at him when he sang the hymns off-key, and later, when everyone was milling around after the service, she said to him, “It's funny, isn't it, how quickly people can go back to being normal after seeing the world almost end?”
“I don't know if 'funny' is the word I'd use,” said Jimmy.
So she asked, “What word would you use?”
Her name is Eun Jee, and the two of them spent the next hour in the coffeeshop down the street trying to find a word which encapsulates the End of Days that doesn't rhyme with Shmapocalypse or Blarmageddon. They didn't succeed, but they did trade numbers, and Jimmy figures that is something at least.
+
He wakes up from dreams of fire and blood, and wonders, Was that Hell? Was that the War? Only occasionally during Castiel's possession did Jimmy ever bubble up to the surface. What Jimmy remembers of Hell, Heaven, and the War all jumble together in a flux of blinding lights and countless voices raised. He tries not to think about it, for the most part.
Jimmy rubs his eyes, waiting for the images to fade back into his subconscious, then makes his way to the kitchen, where there is half a bottle of Wild Turkey in the cupboard.
It's a bachelor's kitchen, and Jimmy has the vague notion that maybe he should clean up around here before he starts inviting Eun Jee over. Add that to the to-do list. It's a bachelor's apartment, and the only decoration Jimmy has is the watercolor of a sailboat hanging awkwardly in the living room, and the photos of Amelia and Claire stuck on the refrigerator with magnets because he can't be bothered to buy frames. He should call them soon. He should call Amelia, who is scared of him, and Claire, who is becoming old enough to resent him. Jimmy should call and remind them that he is still a part of their lives, because that is a lie he will never be able to let go of.
He remembers their cellphone numbers by heart, and like many nights before, he finds himself wishing that he feels justified in calling them, instead of out of options. He scrolls through his contact list, wondering if it's too late to call Eun Jee, but it's past midnight, so yes it is. They've only grabbed a couple of coffees together - it would be weird.
He stops at 'Dean', and hesitates.
Jimmy snaps the phone shut. He downs his glass of whiskey and shuffles back to bed.
+
It's not that he misses Castiel, but maybe his body does, or at least some part of it has become accustomed to the angel. There are bits of muscle memory that Jimmy doesn't remember from before. In addition to remembering Heaven and Hell, occasionally Jimmy thinks he can taste the light of stars.
“Do you think the angels are still talking to people?” he asks Eun Jee one day as they stroll through the park. “Do you think they at least listen?”
“I don't see why not,” she shrugs.
“Do you think they want to?”
The first memory he has of this new world is of waking up in Dean Winchester's arms as he called Jimmy someone else's name, but he doesn't tell Eun Jee this. He doesn't tell her that he was possessed by an angel, he doesn't tell her a lot of things, and she doesn't ask, because that's the polite thing in these situations. He sees the question in her eyes now, though all she says is, “Jimmy?”
So Jimmy laughs and makes a joke about it, and to his relief she starts laughing too, even if it wasn't very funny. He leans in close and she flicks his nose, telling him he is a strange man, a very strange man indeed, but it's not like he doesn't already know.
+
Other memories Jimmy has of this new world:
He heard Dean's voice behind him saying, “Jimmy, wait.”
“No.”
“Hold on a minute!”
“Fuck off!” And it felt good, shouting the curse into the air. Jimmy hadn't sworn in far too long, and after being an angel's meatsuit for a couple of years, blaspheming felt especially righteous. “I'm fucking done!” he proclaimed.
“Hey!” Dean grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “You can't just leave!”
“I did before,” Jimmy pointed out. “I will again.”
“What if Cas tries to come back?”
He threw his hands up. “Cas has moved on, Dean. Maybe we should take the hint. The end of the world has been canceled, alright? Take a vacation somewhere, relax a little.”
Jimmy tried to leave again, but Dean grabbed his arm, saying, “Where are you even going?”
“To take care of my wife and kid,” Jimmy snapped.
And Dean kept arguing, impatient and tedious, so Jimmy yelled back, and no one listened to Sam, who was saying things like, “Let's calm down here” and “Hey, let's think about this” like his input was actually wanted. Dean's face was getting redder and his tone was getting angrier, and somewhere between one retort and the next, Jimmy realized that whenever Dean Winchester remembers Castiel from now on, he would see Jimmy's face. Dean was getting all worked up right now over someone who was Jimmy, sort of, but isn't anymore, and it was a strange and claustrophobic thought.
“You say you wanna do God's work and now you're just gonna walk away?” Dean demanded. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“Who the hell do you think I am?” Jimmy shot back.
Dean got that constipated look on his face that people get when they think they're hiding their feelings, and Jimmy wondered if he was about to get punched. Castiel may have lived in Jimmy all this time, but from the looks of things, Dean knew the angel better than Jimmy did, which was kind of unfair, but perhaps unsurprising. Dean hadn't spend all that time unconscious in his own body, after all.
What did Castiel do to make Dean look at Jimmy like that?
In the end, he decided to let Jimmy go, not that it should have been Dean's decision to make. Dean was still wearing that constipated look, like maybe he was gonna make another smart-alec comment, but all he said was, “Take care, Jimmy.” Brusque and general, and with a faint crackle over his name.
Jimmy said, “Yeah, you too,” and then he said goodbye.
+
Of all the divine powers to zero in on Jimmy's unshakeable faith, it had to be the angel with very shaky faith. Of course it was. Get called to do Heaven's bidding, rebel against Heaven, what's the difference? Jimmy really loves being butt of the universe's jokes, it's so fucking great.
Well, the angels are gone now, or maybe they're just quiet, he's not really sure. He left before the Winchesters could puzzle that one out because Jimmy is finally free again now, really free, with no Apocalypse to worry about. He's going to take that freedom and run. Let Castiel find another vessel; that bastard angel has been disinvited from Casa Jimmy indefinitely.
Now that he's normal again, Jimmy never sees demons or monsters or anything like that anymore, if they're even still there. But whenever he sees a news story about ritual evisceration or exsanguinated livestock, he wonders. He keeps a look-out for anything weird in the area, anything that might bring a couple of hunters to this neck of the woods, but no dice so far.
+
There are scars on Jimmy's body that he doesn't remember getting.
One under his ribs: a thin pale gash. Four parallel on his right leg from what look like claws. Jimmy examines himself in the mirror, and is reminded of the screaming in his dreams.
“How'd you get these?” Eun Jee asks, touching the scar on his shoulder. It's a smaller one, not as deep. There is a similar scar near the small of his back, and one on his hip.
“Demons,” says Jimmy, because it could be true, and it's not such a far-fetched answer these days anymore.
Eun Jee raises an eyebrow. “Let me guess: I should have seen the other guy?”
Later, when he gasps into her neck as she rides him, he is washed over by a sense of deja vu: impressions of breathlessness and warmth, the rising note of desire. Where did that come from, he wonders. But Jimmy suspects he already knows, and he pushes the thought out of his mind: he has other things to focus on right now, and only a scant few of the inhibitions he once had.
+
“I hope it was worth it, Cas,” Jimmy says into the emptiness of his kitchen after another nightmare. He raises his glass to the dark. “I hope to God, or whoever, that it was worth it.”
He drinks.
You start out writing one vignette, and next thing you know, POOF, it's red pills and rabbit holes. Here's some Dean/Castiel fic disguised as side-character gen. Because why not?
This is dedicated to
be_themoon, the put-togetherer of the handy-dandy Supernatural primer; almostinstinct, who is a lean mean reccing machine; and lazaefair, because Team Jimmy!I'm just glad this stayed under 2000 words.
Epilogue
Supernatural. Jimmy/OFC, Dean/Castiel-ish. PG13. Spoilers for 4x20 and sort of but not really 4x22.
After they stopped the Apocalypse, Jimmy Novak's life goes back to normal. ~1642 words
Jimmy still goes to church.
He goes to an Episcopalian one where the pastor is gay and preaches about saving the environment, and is maybe overfond of the singing service. It's nothing like the church services Jimmy used to go to, but that's okay, this is maybe what Jimmy needs. When he was a kid, he had faith in God and the angels, but now Jimmy has knowledge of them too, and it's different. Not better or worse, just different. He just can't believe the same way, and he needs to move on.
Isn't that what any sane person does after indirectly averting the Apocalypse? They move on.
Besides, last week there was a woman next to Jimmy who smiled at him when he sang the hymns off-key, and later, when everyone was milling around after the service, she said to him, “It's funny, isn't it, how quickly people can go back to being normal after seeing the world almost end?”
“I don't know if 'funny' is the word I'd use,” said Jimmy.
So she asked, “What word would you use?”
Her name is Eun Jee, and the two of them spent the next hour in the coffeeshop down the street trying to find a word which encapsulates the End of Days that doesn't rhyme with Shmapocalypse or Blarmageddon. They didn't succeed, but they did trade numbers, and Jimmy figures that is something at least.
+
He wakes up from dreams of fire and blood, and wonders, Was that Hell? Was that the War? Only occasionally during Castiel's possession did Jimmy ever bubble up to the surface. What Jimmy remembers of Hell, Heaven, and the War all jumble together in a flux of blinding lights and countless voices raised. He tries not to think about it, for the most part.
Jimmy rubs his eyes, waiting for the images to fade back into his subconscious, then makes his way to the kitchen, where there is half a bottle of Wild Turkey in the cupboard.
It's a bachelor's kitchen, and Jimmy has the vague notion that maybe he should clean up around here before he starts inviting Eun Jee over. Add that to the to-do list. It's a bachelor's apartment, and the only decoration Jimmy has is the watercolor of a sailboat hanging awkwardly in the living room, and the photos of Amelia and Claire stuck on the refrigerator with magnets because he can't be bothered to buy frames. He should call them soon. He should call Amelia, who is scared of him, and Claire, who is becoming old enough to resent him. Jimmy should call and remind them that he is still a part of their lives, because that is a lie he will never be able to let go of.
He remembers their cellphone numbers by heart, and like many nights before, he finds himself wishing that he feels justified in calling them, instead of out of options. He scrolls through his contact list, wondering if it's too late to call Eun Jee, but it's past midnight, so yes it is. They've only grabbed a couple of coffees together - it would be weird.
He stops at 'Dean', and hesitates.
Jimmy snaps the phone shut. He downs his glass of whiskey and shuffles back to bed.
+
It's not that he misses Castiel, but maybe his body does, or at least some part of it has become accustomed to the angel. There are bits of muscle memory that Jimmy doesn't remember from before. In addition to remembering Heaven and Hell, occasionally Jimmy thinks he can taste the light of stars.
“Do you think the angels are still talking to people?” he asks Eun Jee one day as they stroll through the park. “Do you think they at least listen?”
“I don't see why not,” she shrugs.
“Do you think they want to?”
The first memory he has of this new world is of waking up in Dean Winchester's arms as he called Jimmy someone else's name, but he doesn't tell Eun Jee this. He doesn't tell her that he was possessed by an angel, he doesn't tell her a lot of things, and she doesn't ask, because that's the polite thing in these situations. He sees the question in her eyes now, though all she says is, “Jimmy?”
So Jimmy laughs and makes a joke about it, and to his relief she starts laughing too, even if it wasn't very funny. He leans in close and she flicks his nose, telling him he is a strange man, a very strange man indeed, but it's not like he doesn't already know.
+
Other memories Jimmy has of this new world:
He heard Dean's voice behind him saying, “Jimmy, wait.”
“No.”
“Hold on a minute!”
“Fuck off!” And it felt good, shouting the curse into the air. Jimmy hadn't sworn in far too long, and after being an angel's meatsuit for a couple of years, blaspheming felt especially righteous. “I'm fucking done!” he proclaimed.
“Hey!” Dean grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. “You can't just leave!”
“I did before,” Jimmy pointed out. “I will again.”
“What if Cas tries to come back?”
He threw his hands up. “Cas has moved on, Dean. Maybe we should take the hint. The end of the world has been canceled, alright? Take a vacation somewhere, relax a little.”
Jimmy tried to leave again, but Dean grabbed his arm, saying, “Where are you even going?”
“To take care of my wife and kid,” Jimmy snapped.
And Dean kept arguing, impatient and tedious, so Jimmy yelled back, and no one listened to Sam, who was saying things like, “Let's calm down here” and “Hey, let's think about this” like his input was actually wanted. Dean's face was getting redder and his tone was getting angrier, and somewhere between one retort and the next, Jimmy realized that whenever Dean Winchester remembers Castiel from now on, he would see Jimmy's face. Dean was getting all worked up right now over someone who was Jimmy, sort of, but isn't anymore, and it was a strange and claustrophobic thought.
“You say you wanna do God's work and now you're just gonna walk away?” Dean demanded. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“Who the hell do you think I am?” Jimmy shot back.
Dean got that constipated look on his face that people get when they think they're hiding their feelings, and Jimmy wondered if he was about to get punched. Castiel may have lived in Jimmy all this time, but from the looks of things, Dean knew the angel better than Jimmy did, which was kind of unfair, but perhaps unsurprising. Dean hadn't spend all that time unconscious in his own body, after all.
What did Castiel do to make Dean look at Jimmy like that?
In the end, he decided to let Jimmy go, not that it should have been Dean's decision to make. Dean was still wearing that constipated look, like maybe he was gonna make another smart-alec comment, but all he said was, “Take care, Jimmy.” Brusque and general, and with a faint crackle over his name.
Jimmy said, “Yeah, you too,” and then he said goodbye.
+
Of all the divine powers to zero in on Jimmy's unshakeable faith, it had to be the angel with very shaky faith. Of course it was. Get called to do Heaven's bidding, rebel against Heaven, what's the difference? Jimmy really loves being butt of the universe's jokes, it's so fucking great.
Well, the angels are gone now, or maybe they're just quiet, he's not really sure. He left before the Winchesters could puzzle that one out because Jimmy is finally free again now, really free, with no Apocalypse to worry about. He's going to take that freedom and run. Let Castiel find another vessel; that bastard angel has been disinvited from Casa Jimmy indefinitely.
Now that he's normal again, Jimmy never sees demons or monsters or anything like that anymore, if they're even still there. But whenever he sees a news story about ritual evisceration or exsanguinated livestock, he wonders. He keeps a look-out for anything weird in the area, anything that might bring a couple of hunters to this neck of the woods, but no dice so far.
+
There are scars on Jimmy's body that he doesn't remember getting.
One under his ribs: a thin pale gash. Four parallel on his right leg from what look like claws. Jimmy examines himself in the mirror, and is reminded of the screaming in his dreams.
“How'd you get these?” Eun Jee asks, touching the scar on his shoulder. It's a smaller one, not as deep. There is a similar scar near the small of his back, and one on his hip.
“Demons,” says Jimmy, because it could be true, and it's not such a far-fetched answer these days anymore.
Eun Jee raises an eyebrow. “Let me guess: I should have seen the other guy?”
Later, when he gasps into her neck as she rides him, he is washed over by a sense of deja vu: impressions of breathlessness and warmth, the rising note of desire. Where did that come from, he wonders. But Jimmy suspects he already knows, and he pushes the thought out of his mind: he has other things to focus on right now, and only a scant few of the inhibitions he once had.
+
“I hope it was worth it, Cas,” Jimmy says into the emptiness of his kitchen after another nightmare. He raises his glass to the dark. “I hope to God, or whoever, that it was worth it.”
He drinks.
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Haha, yeah, Team Jimmy GO!
Well, you've arrived in SPN fandom with a splash. Love love loved it. Post it to
I like this interpretation, where post-Castiel Jimmy is quite emphatically done with the whole deal - and really, you can't blame him. The notes about Amelia and Claire were touching and gracefully done. And I like how he very determinedly doesn't think about Dean being with Castiel, because yeah, consent and disturbing memories and that would be a giant can of worms anyone would be hesitant to touch. Sympathetic Jimmy = win.
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Sympathetic Jimmy = win.
Jimmy has been pantsed by the universe too many times. :(
Thanks!
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It is so wonderful in all the right ways. ♥
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Poor Jimmy- he's really such a complex guy, I wish we had more than one episode about him. It was funny when Castiel casually mentions his vessel, all of fandom assumed that it was a man touched by tragedy - loss of a wife, child, partner, etc and then we finally meet Jimmy Novak, Family Man.
I love this peek into the future and his bitterness. Oh the little details - his change of church, his jaded treatment of the averted Apocalypse, the distance he's put between his family. He really does get a raw deal (though probably not as raw as the vessels who were murdered by Uriel or who rebelled with Uriel- I'm sure they were equally devote.) It being Supernatural, I'm sure Jimmy/Castiel won't be getting a happily-ever-after.
Thanks for sharing it!
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I've only just started watching SPN recently, so I missed out on the fandom reactions when it was new. It's kind of unfortunate really, 'cos I'd have loved to see fandom's reactions to 4x10 and 5x08.
Thanks for reading :)
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The flashback to Jimmy's show down with Dean was heartbreaking - Dean was having to let go of Castiel, and that obviously hurt him deeply, and it was unfair to lay that on Jimmy which I think you showed Dean finally realizing. Yet, where else is all that emotion going to go? In a way, you showed how necessary it was, for both men, to break clean away from the roles they had been forced into.
I wonder if that memory of a "rising note of desire" (fantastic language, btw! nom!) is a memory of Jimmy's, or something he imbibed from Castiel.
One thing I love about this that sets it apart from most Jimmy fic (like, all three stories in the fandom...*sighhhh*) is that Jimmy is an adult who knows that his life has changed and is trying to move on. He might not be making all the right choices, but he's trying and not stuck in some emo half-life. I love the idea that Jimmy is still faithful, only with the awareness that the nature of his spirituality has changed profoundly. Well, that's just me, I find Jimmy fascinating.
I'm SO GLAD you posted this to deancastiel comm and spn_jimmmynovak, I would have missed it otherwise. YAY! (because, not to diss the fandom, but there is a distinct lack of truly gifted writers in it. A lot of okay writers, and for sure some fun stories, but it is always nice to have someone of your caliber joining the fray. ♥)
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The Jimmy & Dean showdown was pretty fun to write, if only because this was supposed to be a Castiel/Dean fic before Jimmy decided he has his own story to tell. BTW I totally meant for 'the rising note of desire' to be Castiel flashbacks. 'Cos some of those scratches Castiel got through fighting, but some of them he got through... other means. ;)
Jimmy fic (like, all three stories in the fandom...
My friend has saved a bunch of Jimmy fics in her Memories (http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=lazaefair&keyword=supernatural:+jimmy+fic&filter=all), if you are interested. I've yet to read through all of them.
<3!
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JIMMY. Jimmy and his acceptance of what has already happened and he cannot change. his swapping of churches! his refusal to think about what might once have happened in his body. how he doesn't call his wife, or his kid, or Dean.
FANTASTIC, as always. <3333333
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I wonder where to next on this grand SPN ficcing adventure!
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great job.
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But those are for you, not for him.
Thanks :D
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Jimmy should call and remind them that he is still a part of their lives, because that is a lie he will never be able to let go of.
Probably broke my heart between that and Jimmy asking Dean who the hell he thinks Jimmy is. Ugh. Perfect.
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Glad you liked the fic!
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He's fucked over in the way you or I might be, if we were in that universe and not episode prologue monster chow.
I love that Jimmy comes across as more of an adult than those Winchester guys. The Dean/Castiel story between the lines here is powerful and so sad, but I love the disconnect, too - that Jimmy has registered the unfairness of the way things arranged themselves. It's nothing he can do much about.
Except move on. Because what else can you do?
Ok, this comment is me rambling all over the place. I loved it enormously, though. I will reread it for your prose and pacing, which are gorgeous.
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Also, and no one listened to Sam, who was saying things like, “Let's calm down here” and “Hey, let's think about this” like his input was actually wanted. HAHAHA. So hilariously accurate and sort of sad at the same time. You know, people used to go CRAZY over all of Sam's emotional issues. And then Misha Collins happened.
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Thanks!
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This was the line I liked most! <3
And poor Dean!
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Ah, SPN. No one gets out unscarred.
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Ah, SPN. No one gets out unscarred.
Tell me about it. >_< I truly hope they spare Lisa and Ben, I love them to pieces! ;_;
I see you've written Merlin fics too. I'm catching up on it now. What is your friending policy?
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My friending policy is that I have none. (Sorry it's taken me so long to get to this comment! I promise I wasn't purposely shunning you or anything. Life has just been really crazy.) Anyone can friend me and they don't have to ask. (I tend to do that myself, ummmm.) There's no guarantee I'll friend back, since I'm usually pretty busy and have enough trouble keeping up with my flist as is.
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I see you've started writing Wincest now. I read it in the first couple seasons, but it kinda squicks me now - I prefer their relationship brotherly. I've just added you on DW.
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