Then Dean moved on to Who needs normal anyway, normal sucks. Then Dean said Sammy we wouldn't know how normal if normal bit us in the ass. Then Dean said Goddammit Sam, why the fuck do you. And didn't finish his sentence.
Sam stopped asking, at least aloud.
The subject didn't really come up again until five years later, when Sam returned to the motel room one afternoon, later than usual because the mathlete meeting went on too long. Dean was sitting on Sam's bed going through some papers, familiar-looking papers that made Sam's heart rise in his throat and he thought please please don't let those be--
What the fuck is this, Dean asked.
After a pause, Sam squared his shoulders and said It's a college application.
So, they fought again. They did a lot of that now, fighting. Lots of yelling, lots of belittling, some name-calling, and they would've kept at it all night had the people in the next room not banged on the wall and told them to keep it down. Dean punched the wall and said Fuck you.
And to Sam Dean said What's wrong with you? What, you got something against your family? You wanna fuck off to fucking California?
And before Sam could stop himself, he said Maybe I do.
And Dean's eyes went wide and his mouth opened but nothing came out.
Sam wanted to say I didn't mean that, but Sam didn't because he didn't want to lie. Instead he said Dean, it's like I can be family or I can be normal, but you and Dad never let me be both.
Don't you blame this shit on me and Dad.
I'm not, said Sam. That's the thing. This is my choice.
Dean dropped the application papers to the floor on his way out the door, and Sam didn't try to stop him. Heard the Impala rev up and peel out the parking lot, and Sam gathered up his application, made himself Cup Noodles for dinner, watched TV while he ate it, and started his homework. He wanted to keep his grades up, and he had this extra credit paper for history due the next day.
pre-series Winchesters
Sam stopped asking, at least aloud.
The subject didn't really come up again until five years later, when Sam returned to the motel room one afternoon, later than usual because the mathlete meeting went on too long. Dean was sitting on Sam's bed going through some papers, familiar-looking papers that made Sam's heart rise in his throat and he thought please please don't let those be--
What the fuck is this, Dean asked.
After a pause, Sam squared his shoulders and said It's a college application.
So, they fought again. They did a lot of that now, fighting. Lots of yelling, lots of belittling, some name-calling, and they would've kept at it all night had the people in the next room not banged on the wall and told them to keep it down. Dean punched the wall and said Fuck you.
And to Sam Dean said What's wrong with you? What, you got something against your family? You wanna fuck off to fucking California?
And before Sam could stop himself, he said Maybe I do.
And Dean's eyes went wide and his mouth opened but nothing came out.
Sam wanted to say I didn't mean that, but Sam didn't because he didn't want to lie. Instead he said Dean, it's like I can be family or I can be normal, but you and Dad never let me be both.
Don't you blame this shit on me and Dad.
I'm not, said Sam. That's the thing. This is my choice.
Dean dropped the application papers to the floor on his way out the door, and Sam didn't try to stop him. Heard the Impala rev up and peel out the parking lot, and Sam gathered up his application, made himself Cup Noodles for dinner, watched TV while he ate it, and started his homework. He wanted to keep his grades up, and he had this extra credit paper for history due the next day.