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Merlin: The Ninja and the Pirate
Originally written for the crackfest, here. 537 words. Rated R.
"If you want to sail on my ship," says Arthur, "you do what I say."
"That's fair," says Merlin.
Arthur holds out a mop. "Swab the deck."
+
"Feeling a little seasick, are we?" Arthur asks.
"Ninjas don't get seasick," Merlin replies fuzzily, and waits for Arthur to disappear belowdeck again before throwing up a second time over the side.
+
The navy ship finds them at dawn. Gaius in the crow's nest spots them from a distance. Merlin sees the other ship emit a puff of smoke from its side, and a second later he hears the bang of a cannon disrupt the morning peace.
"They've been after me for months," Arthur says, drawing his cutlass. "I hope you're as handy with a sword as you say you are."
"It's called a katana," says Merlin.
"Call it your mother, I don't care, as long as you use it right."
"Of course I can," Merlin says indignantly. "I can walk into a room and automatically see seven ways to kill a person."
"That's nice," says Arthur. "Can you sail upon the sea and automatically see seven ways to defeat the navy?"
+
Arthur can't see it coming, but Merlin can. Merlin hangs from the riggings attempting to do grievous bodily harm to an enemy soldier by way of nunchakus and kicks to the head when he sees the admiral run for Arthur with his sword out. I can't get a clear aim, Merlin thinks frustratedly. Lancelot, fending off two sailors at once, is in the way.
"Arthur!" Merlin yells.
Arthur looks up, hesitates for a just a moment, but the moment is all Merlin needs. Quick as the wind, Merlin whips out a shuriken and throws it at Arthur, shouting, "Don't move!"
The shuriken bounces off Arthur's cutlass, ricochet's at a precise angle straight for the admiral's throat.
The admiral falls.
Arthur makes this face: O_O
Merlin calls out, "I'll take that as a thank you!"
They continue fighting.
+
"It's not about being good at fighting," Merlin says. "It's about self-control. It's about discipline."
"I've heard that before," Arthur mutters.
Merlin says, "First, you must learn that you don't need these." He takes his katana and throws it aside. He throws aside his nunchakus, his shurikens, his daggers, his sai. "Your body is a weapon. That is the first and most important lesson."
+
Merlin likes rum just fine, but he finds himself yearning for a good cup of sake.
+
"You said it yourself," Arthur murmurs, leaning in close. "The body is a weapon."
"But, um." Merlin swallows, caught between nervous and light-headed. "But you must also ask: what is the fight?"
"Who said anything about fighting?"
+
Part of a good battle strategy, whether you're on the streets of Edo or sailing the seven seas, is knowing when to lose.
With Arthur pushing into him, breathing raggedly in his ear, Merlin isn't sure if he's winning or losing quite, but it's damn good, whatever it is.
+
"Don't you ever want to settle down somewhere?" Merlin asks.
Arthur laughs. "I'll only settle down when the ocean does."
+
The seven seas hold adventures enough to fill a lifetime, and together they seek them all.
"If you want to sail on my ship," says Arthur, "you do what I say."
"That's fair," says Merlin.
Arthur holds out a mop. "Swab the deck."
+
"Feeling a little seasick, are we?" Arthur asks.
"Ninjas don't get seasick," Merlin replies fuzzily, and waits for Arthur to disappear belowdeck again before throwing up a second time over the side.
+
The navy ship finds them at dawn. Gaius in the crow's nest spots them from a distance. Merlin sees the other ship emit a puff of smoke from its side, and a second later he hears the bang of a cannon disrupt the morning peace.
"They've been after me for months," Arthur says, drawing his cutlass. "I hope you're as handy with a sword as you say you are."
"It's called a katana," says Merlin.
"Call it your mother, I don't care, as long as you use it right."
"Of course I can," Merlin says indignantly. "I can walk into a room and automatically see seven ways to kill a person."
"That's nice," says Arthur. "Can you sail upon the sea and automatically see seven ways to defeat the navy?"
+
Arthur can't see it coming, but Merlin can. Merlin hangs from the riggings attempting to do grievous bodily harm to an enemy soldier by way of nunchakus and kicks to the head when he sees the admiral run for Arthur with his sword out. I can't get a clear aim, Merlin thinks frustratedly. Lancelot, fending off two sailors at once, is in the way.
"Arthur!" Merlin yells.
Arthur looks up, hesitates for a just a moment, but the moment is all Merlin needs. Quick as the wind, Merlin whips out a shuriken and throws it at Arthur, shouting, "Don't move!"
The shuriken bounces off Arthur's cutlass, ricochet's at a precise angle straight for the admiral's throat.
The admiral falls.
Arthur makes this face: O_O
Merlin calls out, "I'll take that as a thank you!"
They continue fighting.
+
"It's not about being good at fighting," Merlin says. "It's about self-control. It's about discipline."
"I've heard that before," Arthur mutters.
Merlin says, "First, you must learn that you don't need these." He takes his katana and throws it aside. He throws aside his nunchakus, his shurikens, his daggers, his sai. "Your body is a weapon. That is the first and most important lesson."
+
Merlin likes rum just fine, but he finds himself yearning for a good cup of sake.
+
"You said it yourself," Arthur murmurs, leaning in close. "The body is a weapon."
"But, um." Merlin swallows, caught between nervous and light-headed. "But you must also ask: what is the fight?"
"Who said anything about fighting?"
+
Part of a good battle strategy, whether you're on the streets of Edo or sailing the seven seas, is knowing when to lose.
With Arthur pushing into him, breathing raggedly in his ear, Merlin isn't sure if he's winning or losing quite, but it's damn good, whatever it is.
+
"Don't you ever want to settle down somewhere?" Merlin asks.
Arthur laughs. "I'll only settle down when the ocean does."
+
The seven seas hold adventures enough to fill a lifetime, and together they seek them all.