all my keysmash are belong to you

Blame it on the vile and despicable influence of gid_hanasheh and motherlessguns, but when camelot_fleet threw a still-ongoing poetry jam, I ended up writing pre-series Pendragons fanpoetry. idek. The Noble and Ancient House of Pendragon, man! Powerful families full of hubris, doomed to fall, tugging you into a position where the only right choice is betrayal. <3333 Pendragonnnnsssss

Yeah, I dunno. I don't usually write poems, so maybe this is just a fic with weird line breaks, idk. I'm kinda nervous about it, ngl. Two poem recs before we get going: "How to Tell a Story" by Shira Erlichman is about the storytelling and appropriation discussions fandom's been having. "Ginsberg" by Julia Vinograd is about how Allen Ginsberg is a dick.

Okay.


This Ancient House
Merlin. Arthur, Morgana, Uther. G. Warnings for Arthur being a transparent douche.

( with your helm on her head, with your sword in her hand )

[originally posted at http://whynot.dreamwidth.org/28223.html | comments]

For Merlin Artword.

Title: The Family Business
Author/Artist: whynot & gwen
Fandom: BBC Merlin
Characters/Ships: Arthur, Morgana. AU fusion with season 1 of Supernatural.
Rating: PG13
Summary: When Uther disappears on a case, Arthur comes for Morgana at Oxford, and they fall back into the life she tried to leave behind. ~2100 words
A/N: Thank you very much to hivesofactivity and netgirl_y2k for the beta and Britpick.

Teaser:


They drive up the M1 with the windows down and Morgana snoring gently in the passenger seat.

Dear my camelotsolstice anonymoose,

This is all your fault!

<3,
Lass

PS: Marry me.


Knightfellas
Merlin. Arthur, Morgana, Merlin, Gwen (Uther, William, Alvarr, Lancelot). PG13. 3841 words inspired by this mafia!Pendragons AU art. Warning: canon death, violence. Thanks to bantha_fodder for betareading!
Three things that aren't supposed to happen at Gaius's birthday, Pellinore's funeral, and Leon & Forridel's wedding. Scenes from a mafia AU.

( There are a lot of things you can store in a meat freezer. )

A missing scene from Just Lie Back and Think of Camelot (Merlin, Arthur/Merlin, R-ish).

223 words, rated PG.

( what does mugwort do anyway? )

Another thing allothi said I'd never write: "Hardyesque tragic melodrama. Morgana and Merlin fall hopelessly in love but society would never tolerate their class boundary-crossing romance, woez. So they get sekritly married and end up in horrible, angst-ridden situations when, for example, Arthur finds Morgana hiding in Merlin's chambers, jumps to the almost-right conclusions, keeps the secret to preserve Morgana's name but fires Merlin, WOEZ. Merlin leaves to be a starving peasant farmer. They turn out not to be married after all due to a confusing plot twist. Someone (probably Merlin) gets life-threateningly ill after sleeping all night in the open during a Terrible Storm. Morgana goes to nurse him back to health, reputation be damned! If they have had a Tragic Bastard Child at any point, it probably ends up hanging itself. Merlin starts to fall for Gwen at just the moment acceptance for his and Morgana's relationship is beginning to seem like a realistic possibility. Everything Morgana owns is destroyed in an act of god. She agrees to marry Arthur. Merlin goes mad with jealousy. Many people die. Possibly all together, by drowning, in the raging waters of the overflowing river. Survivors are psychologically scarred for life. But the scenery is exceptionally romantic and interesting-looking."

She remains correct. Having never read any Hardy, I wrote this instead.

~*The Ties That Bind*~
Merlin. 1476 words. 19th-century star-cross'd lovers AU. He was a punk, she did ballet. He from the lower class, and she from the upper. MELODRAMA ENSUES. Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Morgana-ish. PG13.

( One isn't friends with the help. It isn't done. )

allothi listed a few things I would never write. One was "King Arthur and Queen Gwen conquering the rest of Albion because those other monarchs obviously don't treat their people the way a civilised leader should." Well, I sure showed her!

Land & Bread
521 words. Rated PG. Warnings: a head on a pike?

( They execute the king in the center of town for all his people to see. )

puff/pass
An AU vignette written for marycontraire in which Merlin and Will smoke Arthur up for the first time. PG13? 218 words. Warning for recreational drug use?

Also, how badass is this icon. <3 Gaius.

( suddenly he's hacking his lungs out )

Written for the crackfest, originally posted here. 263 words.


( Barack is awful at swordfighting. )