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[...a good enough motto for a happy life...]
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contrelamontre's perfection challenge.
The Balancing Act
LOTRips. Billy/Dom. PG13. Warning: substance abuse.
"We make each other stupid," Billy observed one day.
I am balancing many things in my hands, Billy thinks even though it's just a joint in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other. I am balancing several things, because he's not talking about the joint or the wine.
Billy also thinks, This is about to fall apart.
It's a misplaced thought - he thinks that too, because when Billy gets fucked up he works up an enormous sense of empathy and diplomacy that renders him powerless to do anything but sit there and giggle and soak in life - it's a misplaced thought because he's having a great time right now but THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
They're all in that one room of the house that's really small. Elijah described it five minutes ago as "so small that it can fit inside my eyeball", and Orlando laughed and said "what? what?" but it doesn't matter, 'cos it's not true, but it is, and it isn't. God, everything IS and ISN'T what they are when he's fucked up. It's like there's enough existence in this life to accomodate even the most disparaging paradox. But, the reason that he likes this small room - and what the hell is it? a bedroom? a parlor? - the reason he likes it so much is that... it's so small that...
"Billy, pass the joint."
...that it, like, feels like this room is the only thing there is. Like it's a little box floating through a cold dark nothingness but that's okay 'cos they've got enough light and love to last them the entire journey. They've got Viggo and Dom passing the guitar back and forth, and Orlando being giggly and an all-around idiot, and Elijah is talking to him and his wide wide eyes are half-lidded and clouded over with mirth and intoxication--
"Billy!"
--and they've got Dom...
He's already mentioned Dom.
Elijah snatches the joint from Billy's hand and Billy sees Dom struggle through his feet and weave his way through the door. "Where are you going?" Billy demands, and Dom says, "To pee. To pee!"
Billy follows him, for reasons that he's sure he can figure out later, and besides there's no need for reasons anymore between Billy and Dom. They make their way down the hall, grappling at the walls, rolling across the floor, and at one point Dom can't roll anymore because there's a table in his way. Billy's leaning against the wall and his eyes meets Dom's, and they giggle because it occurs to them how ridiculous this is. Billy, 'cos he's a nice guy, offers his hand to Dom's and tries to drag him to the end of the hall, but three seconds of that attempt proves its worthlessness.
"The thought was there," says Billy as Dom pushes himself to his feet, and they finally make it to the bathroom with all limbs attached and no additional bruises.
Dom's at the toilet trying to take a piss and he keeps on swatting at Billy's face looking over his shoulder and giggling, saying, "Get out of here! Get out of here!" So Billy stands in a corner, holding the sink so he doesn't fall, waiting, thinking.
Billy is seeing double.
That's not figurative speech, now.
Billy is balancing many things in his hands, and he's trying not to, not just because Dom keeps on telling him, "It's not on your shoulders, go with the flow, go with the flow." Dom keeps telling him, "Everything doesn't have to be sorted right now."
But what if it IS? What if everything is sorted right now? Like this party, and their friends, and the two of them, the Dom and Billy, partners in crime - "If you ever need to rob a bank, Billy," Dom once said, "I would be hurt if I weren't your accomplice" - all of THIS. Billy can see spending his entire life with Dom, in any way shape or form, and if that means living out the rest of his days as the gibbering idiot that he becomes whenever Dom's around, well, that's fine by him. Dom becomes a gibbering idiot whenever Billy's around too. "We make each other stupid," Billy observed one day, and Dom said that's fine, so what if they become so stupid that no one else can understand them. They'll just be the only people who can understand each other, and they'll love and laugh and live. Whatever, man. Dom's motto, which Billy thinks is a good enough motto for a happy life: whatever.
Billy just wonders, sometimes, if maybe his - Billy's, not Dom's - his problem is that he's not used to happiness. Not so much of it, anyway. He says out loud, "This is too good to be true."
"Yeah."
"You're too good to be true."
"I know."
"It's not true."
Dom takes Billy's hand and starts leading him out of the bathroom, stops in the doorway, kisses him, and says, "Yes it is."
And all Billy says is, "...Oh..." He's not sure he's entirely convinced.
"Come on," says Dom. "Come on, let go of the doorknob."
They make their way back to the party, and Billy is thinking, I am balancing several things in my hands...
[end.]
contrelamontre's perfection challenge.The Balancing Act
LOTRips. Billy/Dom. PG13. Warning: substance abuse.
"We make each other stupid," Billy observed one day.
I am balancing many things in my hands, Billy thinks even though it's just a joint in one hand and a glass of white wine in the other. I am balancing several things, because he's not talking about the joint or the wine.
Billy also thinks, This is about to fall apart.
It's a misplaced thought - he thinks that too, because when Billy gets fucked up he works up an enormous sense of empathy and diplomacy that renders him powerless to do anything but sit there and giggle and soak in life - it's a misplaced thought because he's having a great time right now but THAT'S EXACTLY IT.
They're all in that one room of the house that's really small. Elijah described it five minutes ago as "so small that it can fit inside my eyeball", and Orlando laughed and said "what? what?" but it doesn't matter, 'cos it's not true, but it is, and it isn't. God, everything IS and ISN'T what they are when he's fucked up. It's like there's enough existence in this life to accomodate even the most disparaging paradox. But, the reason that he likes this small room - and what the hell is it? a bedroom? a parlor? - the reason he likes it so much is that... it's so small that...
"Billy, pass the joint."
...that it, like, feels like this room is the only thing there is. Like it's a little box floating through a cold dark nothingness but that's okay 'cos they've got enough light and love to last them the entire journey. They've got Viggo and Dom passing the guitar back and forth, and Orlando being giggly and an all-around idiot, and Elijah is talking to him and his wide wide eyes are half-lidded and clouded over with mirth and intoxication--
"Billy!"
--and they've got Dom...
He's already mentioned Dom.
Elijah snatches the joint from Billy's hand and Billy sees Dom struggle through his feet and weave his way through the door. "Where are you going?" Billy demands, and Dom says, "To pee. To pee!"
Billy follows him, for reasons that he's sure he can figure out later, and besides there's no need for reasons anymore between Billy and Dom. They make their way down the hall, grappling at the walls, rolling across the floor, and at one point Dom can't roll anymore because there's a table in his way. Billy's leaning against the wall and his eyes meets Dom's, and they giggle because it occurs to them how ridiculous this is. Billy, 'cos he's a nice guy, offers his hand to Dom's and tries to drag him to the end of the hall, but three seconds of that attempt proves its worthlessness.
"The thought was there," says Billy as Dom pushes himself to his feet, and they finally make it to the bathroom with all limbs attached and no additional bruises.
Dom's at the toilet trying to take a piss and he keeps on swatting at Billy's face looking over his shoulder and giggling, saying, "Get out of here! Get out of here!" So Billy stands in a corner, holding the sink so he doesn't fall, waiting, thinking.
Billy is seeing double.
That's not figurative speech, now.
Billy is balancing many things in his hands, and he's trying not to, not just because Dom keeps on telling him, "It's not on your shoulders, go with the flow, go with the flow." Dom keeps telling him, "Everything doesn't have to be sorted right now."
But what if it IS? What if everything is sorted right now? Like this party, and their friends, and the two of them, the Dom and Billy, partners in crime - "If you ever need to rob a bank, Billy," Dom once said, "I would be hurt if I weren't your accomplice" - all of THIS. Billy can see spending his entire life with Dom, in any way shape or form, and if that means living out the rest of his days as the gibbering idiot that he becomes whenever Dom's around, well, that's fine by him. Dom becomes a gibbering idiot whenever Billy's around too. "We make each other stupid," Billy observed one day, and Dom said that's fine, so what if they become so stupid that no one else can understand them. They'll just be the only people who can understand each other, and they'll love and laugh and live. Whatever, man. Dom's motto, which Billy thinks is a good enough motto for a happy life: whatever.
Billy just wonders, sometimes, if maybe his - Billy's, not Dom's - his problem is that he's not used to happiness. Not so much of it, anyway. He says out loud, "This is too good to be true."
"Yeah."
"You're too good to be true."
"I know."
"It's not true."
Dom takes Billy's hand and starts leading him out of the bathroom, stops in the doorway, kisses him, and says, "Yes it is."
And all Billy says is, "...Oh..." He's not sure he's entirely convinced.
"Come on," says Dom. "Come on, let go of the doorknob."
They make their way back to the party, and Billy is thinking, I am balancing several things in my hands...
[end.]