edmund can't stop himself wondering, "does she kiss peter like this? does she let peter touch her like this? does peter leave afterwards or wait for her to fall asleep?" and he suspects that if he were still an adult he wouldn't get caught up in such questions and would be better at taking things for what they are. but he's young again, and here in england there's more of peter's little brother in edmund than there ever was when he had been king edmund of the western wood, duke of lantern waste. and now peter's gone off to war, which isn't unusual, but edmund isn't at his side, which is. with peter gone, the chains of comparison are heavier and more clearly defined. absence has allowed abstraction to solidify, and edmund has in his mind a muddled image of a high king and a pilot and a sword and a gun and a plane and a throne and the way winter melts into spring.
it is not a resentful comparison that he makes -- edmund is merely aware. of his brother, far away. of his sister, entwined around him, making love like they are both someone else.
+
it's like how, back in narnia, he and susan had been the counterweight to peter and lucy's imperious joy. if peter and lucy were waterfalls and bubbling brooks, edmund and susan were deep water, still and dark. in some ways, edmund suspects that he and susan grew up to be too similar to be truly close, but there had been an understanding between them at least. an appreciation of efficiency and having both feet on the ground while lucy laughed barefoot with satyrs and peter walked steeped in glory and living legend.
but they are all growing up again, and this time who knows how they'll turn out.
doesn't take much to light my fire
edmund can't stop himself wondering, "does she kiss peter like this? does she let peter touch her like this? does peter leave afterwards or wait for her to fall asleep?" and he suspects that if he were still an adult he wouldn't get caught up in such questions and would be better at taking things for what they are. but he's young again, and here in england there's more of peter's little brother in edmund than there ever was when he had been king edmund of the western wood, duke of lantern waste. and now peter's gone off to war, which isn't unusual, but edmund isn't at his side, which is. with peter gone, the chains of comparison are heavier and more clearly defined. absence has allowed abstraction to solidify, and edmund has in his mind a muddled image of a high king and a pilot and a sword and a gun and a plane and a throne and the way winter melts into spring.
it is not a resentful comparison that he makes -- edmund is merely aware. of his brother, far away. of his sister, entwined around him, making love like they are both someone else.
+
it's like how, back in narnia, he and susan had been the counterweight to peter and lucy's imperious joy. if peter and lucy were waterfalls and bubbling brooks, edmund and susan were deep water, still and dark. in some ways, edmund suspects that he and susan grew up to be too similar to be truly close, but there had been an understanding between them at least. an appreciation of efficiency and having both feet on the ground while lucy laughed barefoot with satyrs and peter walked steeped in glory and living legend.
but they are all growing up again, and this time who knows how they'll turn out.
COULDN'T RESIST.