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the internet is for porn!
ALL RIGHT. I know I said I wouldn't be posting until the end of the month but CLOSE ENOUGH and ANYWAY I am doing this in the name of PORN. 'Cos if you haven't dragged your butts over to the Porn Battle then WOE BETIDE YOU. Also, if no one writes Sophie/Tess (Leverage/O11) or Mickey Bricks/Rusty Ryan (Hustle/O11), I will cry. Other interesting prompts include: Arthur/Merlin/Luke Skywalker, Arthur/Bradley James, Tim Roth/Gary Oldman, Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Anniston, Abraham Lincoln/Barack Obama, Ann Coulter/Barack Obama, Rahm Emmanuel/Barack Obama, and Rahm Emmanuel/Vladimir Putin. Quick, you can only participate until Feb 1! MAKE IT WORK, PEOPLE.
What a wonderful testament it is to the Merlin fandom that I wasn't the only one who suggested Merlin/Merlin RPF crossover prompts.
Two Prats Are Better Than One(?)
Merlin/Harry Potter. Merlin/Arthur/Draco. NC17.
Written for the prompt "Arthur/Merlin/Draco, brat" at Porn Battle VII.
Once Arthur and Draco got over their initial headbutting, they found themselves in a fast alliance, built on a foundation of their shared penchant for giving grief to hapless dark-haired wizards. And it was bad enough, watching Arthur gallivanting off with with another wizard, watching them try to outprat the other (though Arthur did hold off when Draco went Potter-baiting, the situation being uncomfortably familiar to the prince), but then there was this:
"A manservant?" Draco repeated as he fucked Merlin from behind. "How quaint. That sort of thing went out years ago here. We have house elves. You might have seen them running around."
"Is that what they are?" said Arthur, one hand in Merlin's hair gently guiding the bobbing motion of Merlin's head as he sucked on Arthur's cock. "They're distressingly ugly. I wouldn't like them around my castle."
"Believe me, I wouldn't have them around either if it weren't for the fact that I'd have to tidy my own room otherwise," Draco shrugged.
Merlin spat out Arthur's cock. "Hey! Do you know how difficult it is to do this with you two carrying on like that?!"
Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise, then looked at Arthur. "Arthur, control your manservant!"
"I try," Arthur responded wistfully.
"Look, can we just hold off conversation until later?" Merlin snapped. "It's... it's very distracting."
"Merlin's beard, he's just as bad as Potter," Draco muttered.
"I... don't have a beard," said Merlin, making this face: o_O
"Sorry," said Draco. "Force of habit."
"Good grief, shall we get on with this or not?" said Arthur.
"I was trying to, but you two just kept blithering on," Merlin accused. He should've known better than to get involved in these prattish sex games. Merlin could barely handle one prat in bed, let alone two.
"Look who's blithering now!" said Arthur, throwing up his hands.
"Oh, honestly." Draco rolled his eyes, retracted his cock, and pushed Merlin onto his back. "Take note, Arthur. This usually works when Potter is being incorrigible."
And then Draco's mouth was around Merlin's cock, and Merlin could do little but gasp, writhe. Draco took his cock deep into his mouth and then slowly pulled back, gently sucking and persistently licking. When Draco's lips were on the tip of his prick, he swirled his tongue around and slow, then he did this all again, this time with teasing hands on his balls.
And, all right, so maybe Draco's mouth had some good use after all.
"Hmm, I see," said Arthur musingly. "Fascinating! Did you get that, Merlin? I want you to try that on me next time."
"Oh for god's sake," said Merlin in a strangled voice, pulled Arthur towards him and kissed him, because obviously the only way these two overprivileged, overblond prats was going to shut up was if someone stuffed their mouths with... well.
In any case, Merlin was happy to oblige.
What a wonderful testament it is to the Merlin fandom that I wasn't the only one who suggested Merlin/Merlin RPF crossover prompts.
Two Prats Are Better Than One(?)
Merlin/Harry Potter. Merlin/Arthur/Draco. NC17.
Written for the prompt "Arthur/Merlin/Draco, brat" at Porn Battle VII.
Once Arthur and Draco got over their initial headbutting, they found themselves in a fast alliance, built on a foundation of their shared penchant for giving grief to hapless dark-haired wizards. And it was bad enough, watching Arthur gallivanting off with with another wizard, watching them try to outprat the other (though Arthur did hold off when Draco went Potter-baiting, the situation being uncomfortably familiar to the prince), but then there was this:
"A manservant?" Draco repeated as he fucked Merlin from behind. "How quaint. That sort of thing went out years ago here. We have house elves. You might have seen them running around."
"Is that what they are?" said Arthur, one hand in Merlin's hair gently guiding the bobbing motion of Merlin's head as he sucked on Arthur's cock. "They're distressingly ugly. I wouldn't like them around my castle."
"Believe me, I wouldn't have them around either if it weren't for the fact that I'd have to tidy my own room otherwise," Draco shrugged.
Merlin spat out Arthur's cock. "Hey! Do you know how difficult it is to do this with you two carrying on like that?!"
Draco raised his eyebrows in surprise, then looked at Arthur. "Arthur, control your manservant!"
"I try," Arthur responded wistfully.
"Look, can we just hold off conversation until later?" Merlin snapped. "It's... it's very distracting."
"Merlin's beard, he's just as bad as Potter," Draco muttered.
"I... don't have a beard," said Merlin, making this face: o_O
"Sorry," said Draco. "Force of habit."
"Good grief, shall we get on with this or not?" said Arthur.
"I was trying to, but you two just kept blithering on," Merlin accused. He should've known better than to get involved in these prattish sex games. Merlin could barely handle one prat in bed, let alone two.
"Look who's blithering now!" said Arthur, throwing up his hands.
"Oh, honestly." Draco rolled his eyes, retracted his cock, and pushed Merlin onto his back. "Take note, Arthur. This usually works when Potter is being incorrigible."
And then Draco's mouth was around Merlin's cock, and Merlin could do little but gasp, writhe. Draco took his cock deep into his mouth and then slowly pulled back, gently sucking and persistently licking. When Draco's lips were on the tip of his prick, he swirled his tongue around and slow, then he did this all again, this time with teasing hands on his balls.
And, all right, so maybe Draco's mouth had some good use after all.
"Hmm, I see," said Arthur musingly. "Fascinating! Did you get that, Merlin? I want you to try that on me next time."
"Oh for god's sake," said Merlin in a strangled voice, pulled Arthur towards him and kissed him, because obviously the only way these two overprivileged, overblond prats was going to shut up was if someone stuffed their mouths with... well.
In any case, Merlin was happy to oblige.
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I loves it! why is it in harry potter and Merlin, the obnoxious ones are always blonde and blue eyed..... lol!
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Thank yoooouuuuu XD
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AWOOOOOOOGAAAAAAA
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"I... don't have a beard," said Merlin, making this face: o_O
"Sorry," said Draco. "Force of habit."
Ann Coulter/Barack Obama would scare me. A lot. My squicks are few and far between but Ann Coulter...ngh.
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All battles should be porn battles.
But Emmanuel/Putin: YES/YESSSSS?? Putin plies him with vodka but Rahm is all, "No, must not cheat on my president!" But Vlad's so sexy when he starts talking about structural reform, you know.
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OH JEEZ, YES. MAKE THAT HAPPEN.
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Thanks! XD
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Dystopian Last Battle AUs, hahaha I have participated in a number of them. I <3 them, in a TAKE THAT LEWIS sort of way.
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I'm not even joking.
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"Merlin's beard, he's just as bad as Potter," Draco muttered.
"I... don't have a beard," said Merlin, making this face: o_O
*dies laughing*
Off to rec this on my journal now!
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Deliciously cracky, O Lass.
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we should have a potluck sometime
<33
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I can picture many happy 4somes in the future... =D
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Draco/Arthur/Merlin
OMG this was so insanely delightful! *gigglefit*
Re: Draco/Arthur/Merlin
I'm glad you like it, thanks!
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*points up*
I think my face might just be permanently stuck like that because of this!
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Completely awesome! :D
♥
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