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Doing It Wrong. Merlin/Arthur. PG13.
I've never had an animated icon before, but I'm fair pleased with this one.
This drabble is brought to you by a bottle of Yellow Tail and a conversation about the most efficient way to kill the mood.
Doing It Wrong
Merlin. Merlin/Arthur. PG13.
The one where Merlin is bad at dirty talk.
“No, no, no! You’re doing it wrong!”
“What? I thought you wanted to be degraded!”
“Yes, but there’s a difference between dirty talk and telling me I smell bad.”
“Well, how do you want to be degraded?”
“I don’t know, treat me like a slave. Like an object.”
“An object?”
“A sex object!”
“I thought that was implied when we were, you know, having sex.”
“Do I have to tell you everything? You’re supposed to order me around, make me do what you tell me to!”
“Muck out the stables, Arthur.”
“Now you’re being insufferable on purpose.”
“I just don’t understand it. Why do you want to be degraded? Why can’t we just fuck?”
“It makes things interesting. You don’t find it sexy?”
“Arthur. I’m a servant. If I got off on being degraded, I would walk around horny all day.”
“Hmm. I suppose that wouldn’t do much for job efficiency.”
“It would be a little distracting.”
“And you’re a horrible enough servant already.”
“There! You see? All day! When you insult someone, you don’t have to worry about being put in the stocks. You royals. This is all some novel game to you, isn’t it? ‘Sir Herbert, what is that quaint thing that the peasants do to communicate and pass the time? Ah yes, calling each other slags and shitbags! How delightful, let’s try it!’ If you were constantly insulted, I bet you wouldn’t be so keen to bring the practice to bed.”
“I suppose. I suppose I should be thankful I don’t have to worry about such things.”
“Maybe that’s it. Maybe I should baselessly degrade you more often.”
“Well, do it properly.”
“Clean my boots, prat.”
“Merlin.”
“Wash my socks!”
“Enough of this!”
“You have an atrocious singing voice.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake.”
“You’re-”
“Fine, fine, we can leave off the dirty talk! Satisfied?”
“Good. Yes.”
“I suppose there are other matters to attend to.”
“Exactly.”
“Right. So. Now where were we…?”
“Your singing voice really is quite awful, though.”
“Oh, shut up.”
This drabble is brought to you by a bottle of Yellow Tail and a conversation about the most efficient way to kill the mood.
Doing It Wrong
Merlin. Merlin/Arthur. PG13.
The one where Merlin is bad at dirty talk.
“No, no, no! You’re doing it wrong!”
“What? I thought you wanted to be degraded!”
“Yes, but there’s a difference between dirty talk and telling me I smell bad.”
“Well, how do you want to be degraded?”
“I don’t know, treat me like a slave. Like an object.”
“An object?”
“A sex object!”
“I thought that was implied when we were, you know, having sex.”
“Do I have to tell you everything? You’re supposed to order me around, make me do what you tell me to!”
“Muck out the stables, Arthur.”
“Now you’re being insufferable on purpose.”
“I just don’t understand it. Why do you want to be degraded? Why can’t we just fuck?”
“It makes things interesting. You don’t find it sexy?”
“Arthur. I’m a servant. If I got off on being degraded, I would walk around horny all day.”
“Hmm. I suppose that wouldn’t do much for job efficiency.”
“It would be a little distracting.”
“And you’re a horrible enough servant already.”
“There! You see? All day! When you insult someone, you don’t have to worry about being put in the stocks. You royals. This is all some novel game to you, isn’t it? ‘Sir Herbert, what is that quaint thing that the peasants do to communicate and pass the time? Ah yes, calling each other slags and shitbags! How delightful, let’s try it!’ If you were constantly insulted, I bet you wouldn’t be so keen to bring the practice to bed.”
“I suppose. I suppose I should be thankful I don’t have to worry about such things.”
“Maybe that’s it. Maybe I should baselessly degrade you more often.”
“Well, do it properly.”
“Clean my boots, prat.”
“Merlin.”
“Wash my socks!”
“Enough of this!”
“You have an atrocious singing voice.”
“Oh for heaven’s sake.”
“You’re-”
“Fine, fine, we can leave off the dirty talk! Satisfied?”
“Good. Yes.”
“I suppose there are other matters to attend to.”
“Exactly.”
“Right. So. Now where were we…?”
“Your singing voice really is quite awful, though.”
“Oh, shut up.”
no subject
I don't know. It's not one of those things where I have a "sprawling treatise" on why their characters aren't romantically compatible. It's just one of those things that clicks or it doesn't and for me it didn't. I'm a little disappointed, actually, because I know there's loads of great fic about them and I'm just not interested in reading it-- the fic I am interested in reading is hard to find.
HOLY GRAIL IS AMAZING. WHY NOT TRY A HOLIDAY IN SWEDEN THIS YEAR?
no subject
Merlin/Morgana <33! This (http://shantirosa.livejournal.com/4651.html) is my favorite Merlin/Morgana that I've come across so far.
SEE THE LOVELY FJORDS. THE MAJESTIC MOOSE. Also, Will is totally the guy who yells about being oppressed.
no subject
Merlin and Morgana pretty much kill me. How much would Merlin angst about having to, like, smite future!evil!Morgana if they were in love when they were young?! I do worry about them cutting their faces on each others' cheekbones, though. (But their hypothetical babies would be stunning. And sekritly Irish.) I've read that fic, and it was lovely! But my favorites are these two by
A MOOSE ONCE BIT MY SISTER. Go forth and write a drabble about Will being the Constitutional Peasant. And Skandar trying to assassinate him with a shrubbery
because he's blondbecause his communism is threatening to Edmund's spies.no subject
"Father, I'd like to talk to you about the knights' recent behavior," Arthur says one night over a postprandial brandy.
"Yes, rather. I've been quite worried about them myself."
"I can't make them stop dancing."
"Have you threatened them with the stocks?"
"I've even threatened them with a night in the dungeons."
"What did they say to that?"
"They just ate spam at me."
"Disgraceful."
"Which reminds me: Merlin caught Percival filching ham and jam from the pantry again."
Uther just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, the very picture of a king with the world weighing on his shoulders.
"I told him this is hardly knightly behavior," Arthur continues, "and do you know what he said? He said, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.'"
"What has become of Camelot?" Uther wonders out loud.
"At least we're not like those Gauls across the way, with their cowtapults and their baseless insults."
"I suppose."
"And for the record, Father, I don't think you smell like elderberries at all."
"Thank you, son."
+
"So which do you think sounds better?" Merlin asks Gaius. "The clippity-cloppity-clippity?" He bangs the coconut shells in demonstration. "Or just the clip-clop-clip-clop?" He demonstrates this too.
Gaius just rolls his eyes and goes back to figuring out how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
no subject
Also, haha sorry about that. I was like, "Will? Who could she be talking about?" The problem with Merlin's friend Will is that he used to play Chris on Skins, and I've never really been able to let go of the character. So whenever he guests on another show, I'm all "Hey, Chris from Skins is a peasant in Camelot! Cool!" or "Oh, look, Chris from Skins is a futuristic clone on Doctor Who!" I didn't even remember his name was Will at all. He's always just Chris to me. But you're right, he's a terrific cast for the Constitutional Peasant.
Also, SKANDAR IS RELATED TO JOHN MAYNARD KEYNES? I didn't think it was possible, but I think he just got hotter.
no subject
Hmm, I don't watch Skins at all. Anyway, I ended up expanding on the Monty Python and posting it. This is your enabling's doing.