whynot: etc: oh deer (Default)
Las ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2009-02-03 01:57 am

THE LITTLE CRACK PROMPT THAT COULD

Dear person who posted the "Merlin/Bradley James, warp" prompt at the Porn Battle,

WHAT HATH YOU WROUGHT.

WHAT.

HATH.

YOU.

WROUGHT.


Dear anyone reading this!

Would anyone be so kind as to beta and Britpick 15,000 words of said prompt? (Man, I remember a time when I thought 3000 words was a long fic.) Mentions of Merlin/Arthur and Bradley/Colin; spoilers for episodes 7, 10, and 13; warnings for sex and strangeness. It's a little Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, a little Metamorphosis, and a little Behold the Man, but with more gay.


[identity profile] meritjubet.livejournal.com 2009-02-03 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
Man, I wish I had the skillz of a beta (and Britishness) cos this sounds hilarious. Also, I am laughing at you. In the nicest possible way, I assure you :)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:03 am (UTC)(link)
oh christ they are laughing at me already

hee. the fic took some unexpected dark turns along the way. in some ways this is the first time i've ever written anything like this.

[identity profile] stealingpennies.livejournal.com 2009-02-03 10:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, the delicious SNIPPET that GREW! I'm happy to have a general Brit-pick for you if you don't mind it taking a few days.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
It grew like it was on steroids, omg. D:

A few days is fine. Thanks! What's your email addy?

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 05:46 pm (UTC)(link)
I've sent you it! Hopefully I didn't misspell the address or anything.

[identity profile] stealingpennies.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 06:41 pm (UTC)(link)
T'is here safe and sound. :)
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
SWEET, I'm a have two betas and you gone be one. What's your email addy?

[identity profile] fireflower314.livejournal.com 2009-02-03 02:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not one to ask for Brit-picking or betaing, but I thought I'd add that I am so excited to see this fic (and that it's gotten so long!) that it's really kind of ridiculous.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
i am excited you are excited! and i can't believe it's as long as it is omg D-:. i wrote a novella (okay technically it's a couple thousand words short of being one) out of a crack prompt. what.

[identity profile] fireflower314.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:19 am (UTC)(link)
i wrote a novella (okay technically it's a couple thousand words short of being one) out of a crack prompt. what.

\o/ \o/ \o/ So excited.
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)

[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2009-02-03 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)
You know I'm always available to beta. (Although Britpicking's beyond me.)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 03:19 am (UTC)(link)
It will be in your inbox very sooooon.

[identity profile] zempasuchil.livejournal.com 2009-02-03 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
CRAZIEST ENTRY TAG EVER

POSSIBLY CRAZIEST GRAPHIC EVER

I see the whole world has beaten me to beta offers and britpicking is not for me, so I will just say Dude, You are the Awesomepants.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
YOU ARE AWESOMEPANTSER

But not as awesomepants as Jules Winnfield with a lightsaber because, dude, what is?

[identity profile] zempasuchil.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
*blushes!*

AWESOMEPANZER? armored with awesome? yes.

AN ARMY OF AWESOMEPANZER IN THE WAR AGAINST FAIL

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)
JDLKSJLJ

LO, FOR I HAVE FORGED THIS ARMOR FROM AWESOME THAT NO FAIL SHALL STRIKE THEE DOWN

Re: AN ARMY OF AWESOMEPANZER IN THE WAR AGAINST FAIL

[identity profile] zempasuchil.livejournal.com 2009-02-05 08:39 am (UTC)(link)
lonelybrit: Apples & book (Merlin Merlin Dorkus Maximus)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-03 09:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, that prompt. Just found it and your ficlet, hence my appearing here in search of the promised sequel :) Looks like you've got beta-ing/Brit-picking duties etc covered but I'm happy to add a 3rd/4th pair of eyes if you want.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Hahaha, I can't even start thinking about a sequel, this fic short-circuited my brain. I'm glad you enjoyed the ficlet!

I have a couple questions of a Britpick nature, if you don't mind me asking! First, do you guys use 'douchebag' for insult? If I say "his douchebaggery is beyond measure", is that unBritish? If it is, is 'arsery' a viable substitute? Or does 'arsiness' sound better, or what, I dunno. Not that 'douchebaggery' is a real word in American. I'm fine with things not being real words as long as they sound right? I guess?

How often do people actually say 'bloke' or 'tosser'? If I say like "I can't believe what those North End tossers said". Do people say 'guy'? Like "he's just the guy she goes to"?

Okay so that's more than a couple questions. Sorry! I'm just curious.
lonelybrit: Apples & book (English the language...)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-04 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, what is a fic if it can't melt a few neurones now and then :) I will try to britpick, but it is just to my local region so if you have other brit-pickers don't be surprised if they come up with entirely different answers!

I think 'douchebag' tends to be an American phrase. 'Arsery' isn't a word I've heard before but it certainly sounds right, particularly if being used by someone slightly younger. I'm trying to think of insults now and of course my brain's gone completely blank. Erm, 'idiocy' is a real word, 'twatishness' isn't but could also work? Arse / twat / idiot / twit / fool / bastard / prick etc are all insulting words that could be played with. As is 'muppet' or 'plonker', although I think they are a bit more specific in region (I think more England than say Scotland or Ireland).

'Bloke' tends to be rather flippant, even dismissive, so used when the 'bloke' isn't actually important in conversation; 'I got this bag from that bloke with the stall'. So a good save-all word, but not used every other sentence. 'Tosser' is an insult so your example is spot-on!

And yes, 'guy' is a good, common generic word :)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-05 04:12 am (UTC)(link)
<3!

Plonker! Oh my. I used 'plonk' as a verb, maybe that would look weird... Hmm. It was like, "Gaius plonked a bowl of something cold on the table in front of him." Well, 'plonk' is not a real word so maybe I shouldn't be using it anyway. Maybe I should stop using words that don't exist.
lonelybrit: Apples & book (Merlin Merlin Dorkus Maximus)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-11 12:27 am (UTC)(link)
Heh, plonk/plonker are both perfectly valid and mean totally different things :)

Plonk as you say can be to put something down rather uncarefully.

Plonk can also refer to cheap red wine.

Plonker is merely an idiot, though it's a mild insult so tends to be used on someone you're not really that mad at.

God bless the English language :)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-11 12:42 am (UTC)(link)
Indeed! I have a couple more questions. Haha, I keep on coming up with more. Sorry! Thanks for fielding them so readily :D. But okay, so Merlin walks in on Bradley doing SOMETHING ADULT and Bradley is surprised and annoyed and exclaims, "What the very fuck, Merlin!"

Not that "what the very fuck" is particularly American -- I think it might just be something I picked up maybe, I dunno. I may have picked it up from my Australian friend. But, considering that Bradley is a guy who screams 'awooga' multiple times on French roller coasters, maybe this bit of weirdness is okay?

Also, what do you think of this sentence: "My [Merlin's] mum tells me that beer is the devil's wee, and that no son of hers will drink the wee of anyone or anything."

Do you guys do 'your face/mum' retorts? Like if someone says, "It's just destiny," and Bradley replies in frustration, "Your face has a destiny!"
lonelybrit: Apples & book (Merlin Arthur dork)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-11 01:04 am (UTC)(link)
*tries to stop mind going places* I have to say I haven't heard 'What the very fuck' before, 'What the fuck' most definitely. 'Fucking hell' is always popular', or the slightly old-school 'Jesus / Jesus fucking Christ' though that might be a bit too old-school for Bradley since, as you say, he's quite happy going AWOOGA!! on a rollercoaster. I'd say the wierdness is fine so long as it's not the instantaneous, instinctive reaction since it's a bit more wordy than the typical sweary expletive of surprise, if that makes any sense? If there's a bit for him to gather himself, then I can see him saying it.

Ah, and here's we're on to real old-school English. My knowledge here is borderline none! 'Wee' tends to be something toddlers say, someone Merlin's age would more likely use 'piss' unless they are deliberately trying to play being 5. Also, if we are going old-school, 'mum' is a more modern thing - I think - so possibly 'mother' might be more appropriate unless, as before, Merlin is deliberately trying to be a little flippant.

I've heard a mate of my younger sister do variations of 'your face / your mum' retorts. Round where I'm from (southern England) it feels like something that's recently been picked up from somewhere else but never really entered common usage. But this could vary. Bradley after all is king of dorks.

And feel free to keep coming up with questions! :) As I said, the problem with brit-picking is that I can only really do it for my agegroup (20something) and my region. Like all languages, the regional and age variations are HUGE so if you get someone else saying something contrary, they're probably quite right!

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-11 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, I originally had 'piss' in there, but a Britpicker said that Hunith wouldn't say 'piss' because it's too coarse for her, since Merlin is just quoting his mother. Hmm. I can see Hunith being less coarse ('cos she's sweet), but I can also see her being more coarse ('cos she gets down to business), so I dunno.

And just to gauge Bradley: how British is the 'awooga' as a sound effect? I associate 'awooga' with, like, old-timey car horns of old-timey cartoon cars. Or is 'awooga' just the international old-timey car sound?
lonelybrit: Apples & book (Pluto)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-11 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, yep, I'm with your other britpicker: if Merlin is literally quoting Hunith then yes, 'piss' would be too coarse for her, assuming she was being gentle at the time to a young Merlin :) In which case 'pee' or 'wee' is fine. If it was Merlin himself paraphrasing then 'piss' is something I can see him using given how easily he calls Arthur a royal ass and prat.

Um, to me 'awooga' is a little dated (from the 80s and 'Gladiators' / 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'), so actually I was delighted to hear Bradley come out with that since I would have thought he was just too young to have picked up this catchphrase from my childhood! I assumed that he got it in particular from the TV show 'Gladiators' (very, very popular TV game show that ran for years) as the male presenter used to go 'AWOOGA' every time a game was about to kick off. However, it is possible that 'awooga' also was/is in common usage somewhere else and that's where Bradley got it from.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-11 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
AHAHA GLADIATORS! We had that show too, 'cept it was 'American Gladiators'. And they just started it up again actually, now with Hulk Hogan as host. It is HILARIOUS and strangely compelling! The idea of Bradley watching 'Gladiators', augh, it gives me so much glee, I can't even. He probably made his friends joust with him and stuff. (Well, Arthur would have.)

This next question is more general grammar than Britpicking I guess, but just for another opinion:
a) "blah blah blah," says Gwen.
b) "blah blah blah," Gwen says.
I'm told that a is incorrect, and that it should always be b. Is it very jarring if I do "says PersonX" instead of "PersonX" says? Only one of my two betas brought it up, so I'm not inclined to change all the "says X" into "X says", but I fear making a big grammatical goof, so I dunno. What do you think?
lonelybrit: (Wes curiouser)

[personal profile] lonelybrit 2009-02-11 07:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah, Gladiators, it's had a relaunch here too. Of course it isn't a patch on the good old days of Jet and Wolf, but it's still highly entertaining :) I can totally imagine Bradley watching the original and, oh yes, it makes me far too happy to think he used to fanboy those guys and probably dreamed of trying the Eliminator :)

I'm not rock solid on grammar, I mainly know the basics (punctuation, capitalisation and staying in the same tense if possible). b) sounds a little smoother when saying it out-loud, so I would probably use that unless I was trying to play around with the word order to avoid repetition. I know "Says I" is considered a little uncouth, so possibly the same applies to "says she"?

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-12 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
OMG, so even the Gladiators' names are the same?! HILARIOUS. We have a Wolf too! Does he HOWL in victory and before each event?? Do you guys have a Siren? Oh man, the ELIMINATOR. You may think you're ahead, but the Eliminator takes down the prideful like THAT so WATCH OUT.

Okay, I've posted the fic finally! Milles mercis for fielding my strange questions. XD

<3!

[identity profile] not-sally.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 01:26 am (UTC)(link)
\o/
Friended you, btw. Can't wait to read it.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:28 am (UTC)(link)
\o/ Hello! Nice to have you, watch out for falling crack. XD

[identity profile] worldwouldend.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
Oh God, I stumbled on the link to the ficlet, died, scrolled and saw you'd be WRITING MORE, died again, and well. Here I am, dead twice over, to register my excitement. Also, complete adoration for the prompter and you for fulfilling it in such a lovely, hilarious, actually kind of heartbreaking way.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:19 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG DON'T DIE D:
<33 Thank you! Your comment fills me with glee. I wish I knew who the prompter was so I can express my gratitude/horror!

[identity profile] overlady-hikki.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
OMG, I HAVE STALKED YOU FROM SOMEWHERE AND YOUR I AWAIT YOUR CRACKY GOODNESS WITH SO MUCH ANTICIPATION BECAUSE I HALF LOVE YOU ALREADY BECAUSE YOU WROTE BRADLEY/WILL/ANNA. HI.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-04 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
<3333! THE CRACK WILL BE HERE SOON

I WISH MORE PEOPLE WROTE BRADLEY/WILL/ANNA OMG MOOOOOOORE BRADLEY/WILL/ANNA FOREVER AND EVER

YOUR ICON IS SO MUCH WIN

[identity profile] dawnie-faith.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
Hey there,

I really liked the "Character Development" snippet, and was wondering what tag you'd be posting the long story under, so I can subscribe to it. Thanks so much!

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-02-09 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
Oh thanks! One of the tags I'll be using is "!fandom: merlin". I didn't know you could subscribe to tags, huh. Hope you'll enjoy it! I'm just waiting to hear from my last beta.