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THE LITTLE CRACK PROMPT THAT COULD
Dear person who posted the "Merlin/Bradley James, warp" prompt at the Porn Battle,
WHAT HATH YOU WROUGHT.
WHAT.
HATH.
YOU.
WROUGHT.
Dear anyone reading this!
Would anyone be so kind as to beta and Britpick 15,000 words of said prompt? (Man, I remember a time when I thought 3000 words was a long fic.) Mentions of Merlin/Arthur and Bradley/Colin; spoilers for episodes 7, 10, and 13; warnings for sex and strangeness. It's a little Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, a little Metamorphosis, and a little Behold the Man, but with more gay.
WHAT HATH YOU WROUGHT.
WHAT.
HATH.
YOU.
WROUGHT.
Dear anyone reading this!
Would anyone be so kind as to beta and Britpick 15,000 words of said prompt? (Man, I remember a time when I thought 3000 words was a long fic.) Mentions of Merlin/Arthur and Bradley/Colin; spoilers for episodes 7, 10, and 13; warnings for sex and strangeness. It's a little Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe, a little Metamorphosis, and a little Behold the Man, but with more gay.
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hee. the fic took some unexpected dark turns along the way. in some ways this is the first time i've ever written anything like this.
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A few days is fine. Thanks! What's your email addy?
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\o/ \o/ \o/ So excited.
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POSSIBLY CRAZIEST GRAPHIC EVER
I see the whole world has beaten me to beta offers and britpicking is not for me, so I will just say Dude, You are the Awesomepants.
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But not as awesomepants as Jules Winnfield with a lightsaber because, dude, what is?
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AWESOMEPANZER? armored with awesome? yes.
AN ARMY OF AWESOMEPANZER IN THE WAR AGAINST FAIL
LO, FOR I HAVE FORGED THIS ARMOR FROM AWESOME THAT NO FAIL SHALL STRIKE THEE DOWN
Re: AN ARMY OF AWESOMEPANZER IN THE WAR AGAINST FAIL
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I have a couple questions of a Britpick nature, if you don't mind me asking! First, do you guys use 'douchebag' for insult? If I say "his douchebaggery is beyond measure", is that unBritish? If it is, is 'arsery' a viable substitute? Or does 'arsiness' sound better, or what, I dunno. Not that 'douchebaggery' is a real word in American. I'm fine with things not being real words as long as they sound right? I guess?
How often do people actually say 'bloke' or 'tosser'? If I say like "I can't believe what those North End tossers said". Do people say 'guy'? Like "he's just the guy she goes to"?
Okay so that's more than a couple questions. Sorry! I'm just curious.
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I think 'douchebag' tends to be an American phrase. 'Arsery' isn't a word I've heard before but it certainly sounds right, particularly if being used by someone slightly younger. I'm trying to think of insults now and of course my brain's gone completely blank. Erm, 'idiocy' is a real word, 'twatishness' isn't but could also work? Arse / twat / idiot / twit / fool / bastard / prick etc are all insulting words that could be played with. As is 'muppet' or 'plonker', although I think they are a bit more specific in region (I think more England than say Scotland or Ireland).
'Bloke' tends to be rather flippant, even dismissive, so used when the 'bloke' isn't actually important in conversation; 'I got this bag from that bloke with the stall'. So a good save-all word, but not used every other sentence. 'Tosser' is an insult so your example is spot-on!
And yes, 'guy' is a good, common generic word :)
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Plonker! Oh my. I used 'plonk' as a verb, maybe that would look weird... Hmm. It was like, "Gaius plonked a bowl of something cold on the table in front of him." Well, 'plonk' is not a real word so maybe I shouldn't be using it anyway. Maybe I should stop using words that don't exist.
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Plonk as you say can be to put something down rather uncarefully.
Plonk can also refer to cheap red wine.
Plonker is merely an idiot, though it's a mild insult so tends to be used on someone you're not really that mad at.
God bless the English language :)
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Not that "what the very fuck" is particularly American -- I think it might just be something I picked up maybe, I dunno. I may have picked it up from my Australian friend. But, considering that Bradley is a guy who screams 'awooga' multiple times on French roller coasters, maybe this bit of weirdness is okay?
Also, what do you think of this sentence: "My [Merlin's] mum tells me that beer is the devil's wee, and that no son of hers will drink the wee of anyone or anything."
Do you guys do 'your face/mum' retorts? Like if someone says, "It's just destiny," and Bradley replies in frustration, "Your face has a destiny!"
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Ah, and here's we're on to real old-school English. My knowledge here is borderline none! 'Wee' tends to be something toddlers say, someone Merlin's age would more likely use 'piss' unless they are deliberately trying to play being 5. Also, if we are going old-school, 'mum' is a more modern thing - I think - so possibly 'mother' might be more appropriate unless, as before, Merlin is deliberately trying to be a little flippant.
I've heard a mate of my younger sister do variations of 'your face / your mum' retorts. Round where I'm from (southern England) it feels like something that's recently been picked up from somewhere else but never really entered common usage. But this could vary. Bradley after all is king of dorks.
And feel free to keep coming up with questions! :) As I said, the problem with brit-picking is that I can only really do it for my agegroup (20something) and my region. Like all languages, the regional and age variations are HUGE so if you get someone else saying something contrary, they're probably quite right!
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And just to gauge Bradley: how British is the 'awooga' as a sound effect? I associate 'awooga' with, like, old-timey car horns of old-timey cartoon cars. Or is 'awooga' just the international old-timey car sound?
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Um, to me 'awooga' is a little dated (from the 80s and 'Gladiators' / 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles'), so actually I was delighted to hear Bradley come out with that since I would have thought he was just too young to have picked up this catchphrase from my childhood! I assumed that he got it in particular from the TV show 'Gladiators' (very, very popular TV game show that ran for years) as the male presenter used to go 'AWOOGA' every time a game was about to kick off. However, it is possible that 'awooga' also was/is in common usage somewhere else and that's where Bradley got it from.
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This next question is more general grammar than Britpicking I guess, but just for another opinion:
a) "blah blah blah," says Gwen.
b) "blah blah blah," Gwen says.
I'm told that a is incorrect, and that it should always be b. Is it very jarring if I do "says PersonX" instead of "PersonX" says? Only one of my two betas brought it up, so I'm not inclined to change all the "says X" into "X says", but I fear making a big grammatical goof, so I dunno. What do you think?
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I'm not rock solid on grammar, I mainly know the basics (punctuation, capitalisation and staying in the same tense if possible). b) sounds a little smoother when saying it out-loud, so I would probably use that unless I was trying to play around with the word order to avoid repetition. I know "Says I" is considered a little uncouth, so possibly the same applies to "says she"?
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Okay, I've posted the fic finally! Milles mercis for fielding my strange questions. XD
<3!
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Friended you, btw. Can't wait to read it.
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<33 Thank you! Your comment fills me with glee. I wish I knew who the prompter was so I can express my gratitude/horror!
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I WISH MORE PEOPLE WROTE BRADLEY/WILL/ANNA OMG MOOOOOOORE BRADLEY/WILL/ANNA FOREVER AND EVER
YOUR ICON IS SO MUCH WIN
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I really liked the "Character Development" snippet, and was wondering what tag you'd be posting the long story under, so I can subscribe to it. Thanks so much!
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