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Merlin/SPN: fusion AU
So I won't clog the February free-for-all prompt post with spastic commentficcing, I'm gonna post these here. This is a working post. The rest of the story is here. Unrelated snippets from the AU in which the Pendragons are hunters, starring Dean!Arthur, Sam!Morgana, and John!Uther.
I plan to post more snippets of this to this post should the inspiration continue to strike. So, this post is gonna be edit-prone. If you wanna leave me prompts, go ahead and I'll see what I can do with them. No promises, though.
Morgana never held any pretenses about being a normal person, but she fooled herself into thinking that she could at least have a normal life, but then stupid Arthur barges in with stupid speeches about ~*family*~, and aphorisms that sound like threats like, "You can't avoid this forever." But what is forever but a word anyway, when between one blink of an eye and the next, Nimueh is dead, stuck to the ceiling and burning, and between one blink and the next, Arthur breaks the bottle of holy water over a demon's head and yells "MORGANA, NOW" and she is chanting the old verses quicker than thought, as if she hasn't spent the last handful of years trying to forget them, as if she never left at all.
+
They drive down the interstate with the windows down and Led Zeppelin on the radio, and Morgana asleep in the passenger seat, snoring gently. Arthur will give her shit about that later, for the snoring. She always gives him shit for snoring (and for leaving the toilet seat up, and for not picking up after himself, whatever), and Arthur resists the urge to reach over and brush her hair from her face. The wind will just blow it around again anyway, and anyway he doesn't want to wake her. She's been out cold since Tulsa, sleeping the bone-dead sleep of the exhausted and drained, and Arthur can't help think about how Morgana four years ago wouldn't have gotten so tired after fighting some lame-ass ghouls, but she's out of practice. Still, even for someone who's out of practice, she was precise and brutal with her weapons. His weapons. Their weapons, now. The ghouls thought they would overpower Morgana, seeing the panic in her eyes, but instinct took her over and in the end she was the one still standing.
"You did good," Arthur had told her, and all she said was, "Let's clean up this mess."
+
[Morgana saw Uther die in her dreams, so isn't surprised when Arthur comes knocking a few weeks later. Maybe that's why Arthur seeks Morgana out, because it's just him alone now. He tells Morgana something else of course. Like, he's heard the Apocalypse is just around the corner, all the hunters are talking about it. He needs Morgana's help to fight it. He needs her abilities. He needs her visions, to find... clues, and shit, about the End Times.
And the first thing Morgana thinks is, How like Arthur to want to stop the Apocalypse on his own.
Not, not his own, he says. With her.
Like the way it used to be? she says.
Yeah.
Arthur, we never had a way we used to be.
He says, That's not true.
How Arthur can cling to the image of happy families after all these years is beyond her.
He thinks she's grown up a lot in four years, calmer, softer, but he can still see the thrum of energy that is dormant not gone in her eyes. He wonders what she sees when she looks at him now. (Morgana sees a tired man hiding behind insults and crude jokes. She sees Uther in him, and she thinks that's why she says yes in the end.)]
+
+
Shapeshifter, ghoul, ghost, witch, werewolf: Morgana relearns them over the next several months, and sends them into that deeper darkness. At the end of the fight, she is the one blood-spattered with ichor ruining her boots, breathing hard and shaking just a little bit. With every hunt, she shakes a little less.
There is a hardness that settles into her that Arthur isn't sure what to make of. It is similar to the rough-edged panic she'd get whenever she'd try to leave this life, and whenever she found herself getting dragged back in. There is something reflexive about it, defensive, like a rechanneling of energy: if she is scared, she will make sure everything else is too.
Morgana grits her teeth and doesn't make a sound as Arthur sews up her shoulder and chatters inanely about the douchebaggery of vampires. In a way Morgana is becoming the sister he always wanted growing up, but on the other hand: Arthur doesn't know this Morgana very well. He realizes, he doesn't know a Morgana who isn't trying to leave.
He tries a joke, something about broken nails and torn dresses and other things he knows Morgana doesn't care about. Jokes about Morgana going back to law school because it's always sunny in Palo Alto.
She glares at him, and says, "Oh, and who'll keep you out of trouble?"
"I've managed without you," Arthur replies mildly, but there is something rumpled in her vitriol, something she is trying to keep hidden. He watches her, waiting to see if she will reveal more. She rolls her eyes and makes a scoffing noise, then reaches for the Jim Beam, which tells him more than words ever can.
+
[Morgana starts having dreams about Arthur, except it's not Arthur, not really. His eyes are demon-black and his grace preternatural, and when he raises his hands, empires crumble.
She doesn't tell Arthur about the dreams, not at first, because she's no prophet: just because she dreams it, doesn't mean they come true, except they do. Morgana remembers when they were children she dreamed Uther was in trouble somewhere, so she told Arthur about it and he laughed at her. Dad's gonna be okay, Morgana, it was just a dream. Except then it turns out Uther really is in trouble and they have to go find him according to the clues in her dreams. And they save Uther, and Uther loves them and is relieved, and when he's hugging Morgana, she sees Arthur looking at her like she's some freak or something. Well, she's not. She just has these dreams sometimes. And later, when Uther is sleeping off the day, she says to Arthur, "Don't tell Dad."
He says okay.
SO ANYWAY. They find out Arthur is Lucifer's host body/vessel. If Lucifer possesses him, then the Apocalypse will really begin. Angst and destiny-wrangling ensues, because seriously, Arthur has been the unwavering loyal one and the reward is to be the vessel for the Father of Lies? What a kick in the nuts. They go to Gwen's junkyard up in South Dakota and try to figure things out. Gwen tattoos anti-possession sigils on them.
("On me?" Morgana frowns. "Why on me? I'm not the one Lucifer is after."
"You're close to Arthur," Gwen points out. "They'll use you to get to him.")
And Arthur thinks, as she tattoos the sigil on him, that maybe in another life he could have fallen in love with Gwen, could settle down with her. Gwen is a rock. She's smart and practical and beautiful, and Gwen sees Arthur looking at her this way and just smiles to herself, because sometimes Morgana looks at her that way too. The Pendragons are so run down and ragged tired that every kind gesture bowls them over, and she sees them curling around her presence like moths to a flame. Not that Gwen will burn them. They will burn themselves.
And rightly so because DUN DUN DUN, Morgana makes a secret deal with a demon: her soul for Arthur. She will go to Hell if Arthur doesn't have to be a vessel and end the world anymore. I'm fudging even more with SPN cosmology here, but whatever. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
[[THE BIG QUESTION: Who killed Uther? I am increasingly convinced it is an angel, not Morgause, but maybe Morgause knows who. When Morgana and Arthur find out that Morgause knows, they are PISSED she didn't tell them.
Is it Arthur? It was in self-defense, because Uther found out his son was going to be Lucifer's vessel and so was going to kill him to prevent the Apocalypse. It was heartbreaking for the both of them. Morgana finds out in a dream or through a demon. May or may not affect the deal she makes with the demon. I mean, it probably does. Like, she can't imagine killing Arthur. She'd die first. She can't imagine killing Uther and she hates him and hates Arthur for killing him and loves Arthur because he is her brother. She loves Uther because he is her father, and she swears her soul to Hell with a steady voice and no regrets.
Is it Morgause, because the sneaky archangels tricked her into it? Is it Cedric, or some other agent of Hell?
Here's another possibility: Uther was totally gonna kill Arthur in order to stop the Apocalypse, but then some demon stopped Uther. Arthur seeks vengeance on this demon, and when he finds out that if it hadn't killed Uther, then Uther would've killed Arthur... well, angst.]]
The demon says OKAY to Morgana, and Arthur is horrified and furious about it when he finds out, because duh, but Morgana is like I CAN'T JUST STAND BY AND WATCH YOU TURN INTO A MONSTER. There are sad conversations about how she knows she hasn't treated her family the best, but now Arthur is the only family she has left, and Lucifer will have him over her dead body. Because if there is anything that Pendragons and Winchesters are, it is disproportionate.
So they spend the rest of the season trying to find a way to get Morgana out of the Hell deal. Doesn't work! Hellhounds drag Morgana to Hell. Arthur goes off the deep end, nurturing a friendship with the demon Cedric, starts drinking demon blood.
Then the angel Morgause grips Morgana tight and raises her from perdition! Which means that Arthur is back to being Lucifer's vessel, but this time they're gonna fight the fight without anyone going to hell, if he can help it.]
+
The first night out of the pit, Morgana crawls into Arthur's bed and his reaction is unthinking and lazy: he shifts to the side and lifts his arm, grunting as Morgana crooks herself to fit against him, hooking her leg around his thigh and resting her chin on his head as he burrows into her neck, his breath warm on her collarbone.
They haven't slept like this since they were children, and all its associated memories come flooding back to her: nightmares and transient motel rooms, the buzz of the television, the future pounding in her head as she wondered whether it was real or delusion. Wondered if she should tell Uther about her dreams or if she should just keep her mouth shut so she wouldn't end up salted and burned.
Uther is no longer a problem she has to deal with.
Morgana remembers one particular memory of curling up like this, Arthur's voice rusty with sleep as he said to her, "Your heart's beating really fast."
It was, and it's beating really fast now, but she can't let that get the best of her. She can't let Hell get the best of her. In her mind's eye, she only sees the flames lick ever higher, burning the sin from her bones. Morgana can feel phantom blades cutting her skin when she closes her eyes, and she hangs on to Arthur and tries to stay afloat.
"Are you okay?" Arthur murmurs, and Morgana shakes her head no, because who is okay after Hell? It should be on a t-shirt: I saved my brother from Lucifer's clutches and all I got was four months in Hell.
"I'm here," he reassures her absently, patting her hair.
This is when Morgause appears, stepping out from the shadows with a sound like the rustling of leaves. She says no greeting, only tips her head to the side as if in contemplation at the situation. Morgana waves, feebly. Arthur, already halfway back to dreamworld, sleeps with his back towards Morgause, and so does not see her approach the bed.
Morgana does not take her eyes off her, does not quake.
"You should rest," Morgause whispers, bending over and touching Morgana's cheek with two fingers.
"I'm trying," Morgana murmurs. She feels the warmth spreading from from Morgause's touch, making her eyes heavy and her tongue feel thick. "But Hell keeps..."
"Hell what?" Arthur interrupts hoarsely, but by that time, Morgana is already asleep, breathing evenly and dreaming of nothing. He looks up because he thought he heard the rustle of leaves, but there's no one else in the room.
Arthur pulls the blanket up to their chins and closes his eyes.
+
Arthur envies Morgause the brightness in her eyes when she looks at Morgana: it is something single-minded and trusting, like the look a soldier gives a general, like Morgause doesn't care what Morgana has done in the past as long as she is here now.
He hasn't had the chance to feel that way about Morgana in a long time.
He makes up for it by being reluctant to let Morgana leave his line of vision, and it is driving her insane. She says, The one who lived through Hell doesn't get to be babied, thanks. Fair enough, but he doesn't care. When she's brushing her teeth, she leaves the bathroom door open and Arthur sneaks glances over the top of Gaius's journal at her back and the curve of her neck, her skinny arms like the necks of swans. She still isn't talking about Hell, so Arthur tries not to think about it, but when he sees her now with her skin unmarred and her stance still graceful, he can't help but wonder how that pale skin and soft flesh must have given way to the fire. He thinks of the angel reconstituting his sister's body from her own grace, and feels envious all over again.
"Take a picture, creeper."
"What?"
Morgana glances over her shoulder, somehow managing to look beautiful with foam dribbling out of her mouth. "Take a picture. It'll last longer."
He thinks she understands though, because the last time they were both drunk and he said "I can't believe you're here", Morgana said "Me too". He had kissed her forehead, felt her inhale shakily. Felt the crackle of relief in her voice when she murmured, "I'm here, I'm back."
Back in the present moment, Arthur says, "So, Pennsylvania tomorrow?"
"That's what Morgause says," Morgana shrugs, as if that were enough.
Another day, another seal. Morgana slips into her own bed wearing Arthur's sweatpants and a ratty tank top, and falls asleep right away. It takes Arthur a while, though. He spends the next hour poring over the journal looking for clues about the end of the world, or what to do when the devil wants to wear your body for a meatsuit, but he finds nothing, as usual.
+
Morgause doesn't sleep. Morgana sometimes wakes in the middle of the night to find the angel standing by the side of her bed or sitting on it, watching. They've given up explaining to her why this is creepy -- Morgana because she believes Morgause is well-intentioned, Arthur because he doesn't like banging his head on brick walls. Morgause appears from between sidelong shadows and frail sunbeams with instructions and warnings and, sometimes, a warm hand on Morgana's forehead that dims the red and black of her dreams.
"Do you ever make Arthur's nightmares go away?" she asks one time.
"You are my charge," Morgause explains.
"Yeah, but... What, does he never have any nightmares?"
"Not ones like yours."
Morgana glances over to her brother on the other bed. Even if it's not nightmares, there has been something out of focus about him, and it's not so much that she can't find the reason why, more like she can find a hundred reasons why. Lucifer chasing him, for one. Her death, for another. Her resurrection. Arthur spent the week after her return switching between treating her like a volatile bomb and forcing a cheeriness that was too edged in desperate relief to really feel comfortable. As usual, they don't talk about it. They just drive from town to town until she can feel like she's been killing monsters all her life again, until Arthur stops acting like she's made of glass. It's the Apocalypse and everyone has problems.
Morgause doesn't sleep, but she bleeds. She doesn't eat, but she breathes, and when Morgana grabbed her out of the way of that demon today, she felt Morgause's heart beating wildly under her palm. No matter how many times the angel is wounded or her clothes are torn, no matter how many times she is trapped or sent crashing through walls, Morgause always reappears whole to Morgana, like an ode to restoration and the mercy of her absent god.
"Is Arthur dreaming right now?" Morgana breathes.
Morgause concedes a brief appraisal. "No."
"Good. Good... Is he okay though?"
The angel lifts her hand and touches two fingers to Morgana's forehead, and Morgana closes her eyes.
+
One night, in an anonymous hotel room, Arthur wakes up with the warm tang of demon blood at the back of his throat, and it takes a few seconds for the room to focus, for him to realize that it was only the memory of demon blood, and the craving for it. He sits up in his bed and rubs his face, ignores the steady ache gathering underneath his ribs. In his mind, he can see Cedric's face, as benignly unreadable as the last time he cut into his forearm and held the wound out to Arthur. Go on. How will they stop Lilith otherwise?
Arthur's cellphone is on the nightstand and all it'll take is a text.
From the next bed over, Morgana snores and Arthur glances over blearily. She wears a tank top and a pair of his boxers to bed, and even in the dim shadows of the room, the handprint on her shoulder stands out in the moonlight, dark and angry. He remembers fitting his hand against the handprint, curious, and had been surprised to find that whoever had marked Morgana had smaller hands than him. Then Morgause showed up and things fell in place, sort of. As much as things fall into place in their lives anyway. An angel of the Lord with small hands and terrifying eyes pulled Morgana from the pit, and as creepy as Morgause was, Arthur has to be thankful to her for that.
Arthur glances at his cellphone.
In her bed, Morgana rolls over and her snores are muffled, and Arthur thinks, She'd never know.
+
[Morgana addressing Arthur about the future: 5x04. (I have died, I have seen you die, I have seen me die. I have seen you kill me, and I saw what happened when the angels left.)]
+
[Eventually, it is revealed that Morgana is Michael's vessel. No one is happy about this. As per the SPN mythos, Michael and Lucifer will possess human forms and fight apocalyptic battles on earth. This basically means, Arthur and Morgana's sibling love/hate rivalry is only gonna get even more epic and destructive. UNLESS THEY STOP IT. UNLESS ARTHUR AND MORGANA OVERTURN DESTINY.
Also, here is the gist about Arthur's situation, I guess: he's jealous of the Morgause/Morgana relationship because of 1) the strange and visceral bond between them. Arthur no longer has the innocence to trust Morgana so utterly, and back when he did, she didn't want it. He also wonders whether 2) the fact that Morgana has been chosen by Heaven means that all her sins have been forgiven, that she has been absolved. You can't be Michael's vessel if you're 'tainted', right?
In the end it just seems kind of unfair. Morgana's the one who left the family, made deals with demons (to save Arthur, sure, but still), and went to Hell, but in the end she's still Heaven's chosen vessel. She's the one who gained a guardian angel, this strange creature in her film noir trenchcoat and her too-wide eyes, who speaks only in promises and threats.
And what does Arthur get for a lifetime of trying to be a good son and a good soldier? What does he get for hunting evil, saving people? An addiction to demon blood, and Lucifer wanting to wear his body. Morgause's suspicious frowns when he exorcises demons with just a touch, and Morgana's defensive snits when he tries to question what Morgause's real motives are anyway.]
+
[I AM THE PROPHET MERLIN, also an alcoholic. It's part of my process. Here is my fanboy Will. He knows your measurements, Morgana.
"Creepers," Morgana comments.]
I plan to post more snippets of this to this post should the inspiration continue to strike. So, this post is gonna be edit-prone. If you wanna leave me prompts, go ahead and I'll see what I can do with them. No promises, though.
Morgana never held any pretenses about being a normal person, but she fooled herself into thinking that she could at least have a normal life, but then stupid Arthur barges in with stupid speeches about ~*family*~, and aphorisms that sound like threats like, "You can't avoid this forever." But what is forever but a word anyway, when between one blink of an eye and the next, Nimueh is dead, stuck to the ceiling and burning, and between one blink and the next, Arthur breaks the bottle of holy water over a demon's head and yells "MORGANA, NOW" and she is chanting the old verses quicker than thought, as if she hasn't spent the last handful of years trying to forget them, as if she never left at all.
+
They drive down the interstate with the windows down and Led Zeppelin on the radio, and Morgana asleep in the passenger seat, snoring gently. Arthur will give her shit about that later, for the snoring. She always gives him shit for snoring (and for leaving the toilet seat up, and for not picking up after himself, whatever), and Arthur resists the urge to reach over and brush her hair from her face. The wind will just blow it around again anyway, and anyway he doesn't want to wake her. She's been out cold since Tulsa, sleeping the bone-dead sleep of the exhausted and drained, and Arthur can't help think about how Morgana four years ago wouldn't have gotten so tired after fighting some lame-ass ghouls, but she's out of practice. Still, even for someone who's out of practice, she was precise and brutal with her weapons. His weapons. Their weapons, now. The ghouls thought they would overpower Morgana, seeing the panic in her eyes, but instinct took her over and in the end she was the one still standing.
"You did good," Arthur had told her, and all she said was, "Let's clean up this mess."
+
[Morgana saw Uther die in her dreams, so isn't surprised when Arthur comes knocking a few weeks later. Maybe that's why Arthur seeks Morgana out, because it's just him alone now. He tells Morgana something else of course. Like, he's heard the Apocalypse is just around the corner, all the hunters are talking about it. He needs Morgana's help to fight it. He needs her abilities. He needs her visions, to find... clues, and shit, about the End Times.
And the first thing Morgana thinks is, How like Arthur to want to stop the Apocalypse on his own.
Not, not his own, he says. With her.
Like the way it used to be? she says.
Yeah.
Arthur, we never had a way we used to be.
He says, That's not true.
How Arthur can cling to the image of happy families after all these years is beyond her.
He thinks she's grown up a lot in four years, calmer, softer, but he can still see the thrum of energy that is dormant not gone in her eyes. He wonders what she sees when she looks at him now. (Morgana sees a tired man hiding behind insults and crude jokes. She sees Uther in him, and she thinks that's why she says yes in the end.)]
+
Morgana, do you remember when we were kids and Dad said he was going to take us on a vacation and you got really excited, do you remember? We had never been on a vacation before, but you were the kind of kid who insisted on dolls for Christmas and wanted Froot Loops all the time and cried when you couldn't watch your favorite shows, so this vacation was a welcome surprise. It was so weirdly normal-sounding, and before we were even halfway there you were telling us about the postcards you'd write back to Gwen.
For vacation we went to Acadia National Park in Maine, staying at a motel down the road, and we raced each other to the top of a rocky hill, and Dad followed behind us with this distant smile on his face, not caring whether we'd fall or hurt ourselves (he knew we wouldn't), casting an eye to the shadows, raising his head as if listening for some some hidden music, or a secret message. I knew then. I knew from that look on his face that this was no vacation, but you were too busy running up that hill to notice. You were too busy wanting to believe.
I won. I reached the top first and I teased you, and you tried not to cry about it. You used to be such a crybaby, you cried at everything. I guess we had a lot of things to cry about by some people's standards, but we always weathered it. We were always told we were different and tougher than most, being Uther Pendragon's kids, and I was proud of that, and I thought you were too.
We went to Acadia everyday for three days straight. Sometimes Dad would go off and tell me not to leave the area he's marked with eagle feathers and his own blood, and I'd make sure you don't. You'd always want to explore the forest but Dad was clear: don't go into the trees. Sometimes we'd come up with a picnic, which Dad would set up within his marked area, and then he'd leave us alone while we ate. I told you he was probably birdwatching and you believed me.
On the fourth day, while we were eating our sandwiches atop that hill, we heard howling and screams that weren't quite human, weren't quite animal.
Do you remember asking me if Dad lied to us?
Of course I said no. Lie about what? And you said About this vacation. And you said This isn't a vacation is it, and I said Of course it is. But we finished our sandwiches and our sodas in silence, and when Dad came back, he was covered in dark blood and his clothes were torn, and we scramble to our feet horrified and he said It's okay, I'm okay. It's not my blood.
Do you remember, he told me to go to the car and get his spare clothes from the trunk? He gave me the gun before I went.
Not gonna lie, I was relieved to get out from between you two. I know that game. You were looking at Dad like you were gonna tear him a new one, and you were pretty impressive at tearing people new ones for a little girl. I guess we gave you no choice. But you were looking at him like you couldn't believe he just did that, looking all betrayed and shit, and I left before I started taking Dad's side. I left before your anger could make me angry.
You didn't get it: you don't get a vacation from this life. You don't get to have a break from saving people and hunting things, and you have no idea how much I want to shake you sometimes and make you realize this. How much I want to call you names and make you cry all over again because you think this is only hard for you, Morgana, like you were the only one suffering. The sooner you get over your shit, the sooner we can fight, the sooner we can start being a family again, (the kind you've always wanted, the kind we've always wanted) and the sooner we can start rebuilding what that demon took away from us all those years ago, fire for fire and blood for blood.
+
Shapeshifter, ghoul, ghost, witch, werewolf: Morgana relearns them over the next several months, and sends them into that deeper darkness. At the end of the fight, she is the one blood-spattered with ichor ruining her boots, breathing hard and shaking just a little bit. With every hunt, she shakes a little less.
There is a hardness that settles into her that Arthur isn't sure what to make of. It is similar to the rough-edged panic she'd get whenever she'd try to leave this life, and whenever she found herself getting dragged back in. There is something reflexive about it, defensive, like a rechanneling of energy: if she is scared, she will make sure everything else is too.
Morgana grits her teeth and doesn't make a sound as Arthur sews up her shoulder and chatters inanely about the douchebaggery of vampires. In a way Morgana is becoming the sister he always wanted growing up, but on the other hand: Arthur doesn't know this Morgana very well. He realizes, he doesn't know a Morgana who isn't trying to leave.
He tries a joke, something about broken nails and torn dresses and other things he knows Morgana doesn't care about. Jokes about Morgana going back to law school because it's always sunny in Palo Alto.
She glares at him, and says, "Oh, and who'll keep you out of trouble?"
"I've managed without you," Arthur replies mildly, but there is something rumpled in her vitriol, something she is trying to keep hidden. He watches her, waiting to see if she will reveal more. She rolls her eyes and makes a scoffing noise, then reaches for the Jim Beam, which tells him more than words ever can.
+
[Morgana starts having dreams about Arthur, except it's not Arthur, not really. His eyes are demon-black and his grace preternatural, and when he raises his hands, empires crumble.
She doesn't tell Arthur about the dreams, not at first, because she's no prophet: just because she dreams it, doesn't mean they come true, except they do. Morgana remembers when they were children she dreamed Uther was in trouble somewhere, so she told Arthur about it and he laughed at her. Dad's gonna be okay, Morgana, it was just a dream. Except then it turns out Uther really is in trouble and they have to go find him according to the clues in her dreams. And they save Uther, and Uther loves them and is relieved, and when he's hugging Morgana, she sees Arthur looking at her like she's some freak or something. Well, she's not. She just has these dreams sometimes. And later, when Uther is sleeping off the day, she says to Arthur, "Don't tell Dad."
He says okay.
SO ANYWAY. They find out Arthur is Lucifer's host body/vessel. If Lucifer possesses him, then the Apocalypse will really begin. Angst and destiny-wrangling ensues, because seriously, Arthur has been the unwavering loyal one and the reward is to be the vessel for the Father of Lies? What a kick in the nuts. They go to Gwen's junkyard up in South Dakota and try to figure things out. Gwen tattoos anti-possession sigils on them.
("On me?" Morgana frowns. "Why on me? I'm not the one Lucifer is after."
"You're close to Arthur," Gwen points out. "They'll use you to get to him.")
And Arthur thinks, as she tattoos the sigil on him, that maybe in another life he could have fallen in love with Gwen, could settle down with her. Gwen is a rock. She's smart and practical and beautiful, and Gwen sees Arthur looking at her this way and just smiles to herself, because sometimes Morgana looks at her that way too. The Pendragons are so run down and ragged tired that every kind gesture bowls them over, and she sees them curling around her presence like moths to a flame. Not that Gwen will burn them. They will burn themselves.
And rightly so because DUN DUN DUN, Morgana makes a secret deal with a demon: her soul for Arthur. She will go to Hell if Arthur doesn't have to be a vessel and end the world anymore. I'm fudging even more with SPN cosmology here, but whatever. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
[[THE BIG QUESTION: Who killed Uther? I am increasingly convinced it is an angel, not Morgause, but maybe Morgause knows who. When Morgana and Arthur find out that Morgause knows, they are PISSED she didn't tell them.
Is it Morgause, because the sneaky archangels tricked her into it? Is it Cedric, or some other agent of Hell?
Here's another possibility: Uther was totally gonna kill Arthur in order to stop the Apocalypse, but then some demon stopped Uther. Arthur seeks vengeance on this demon, and when he finds out that if it hadn't killed Uther, then Uther would've killed Arthur... well, angst.
The demon says OKAY to Morgana, and Arthur is horrified and furious about it when he finds out, because duh, but Morgana is like I CAN'T JUST STAND BY AND WATCH YOU TURN INTO A MONSTER. There are sad conversations about how she knows she hasn't treated her family the best, but now Arthur is the only family she has left, and Lucifer will have him over her dead body. Because if there is anything that Pendragons and Winchesters are, it is disproportionate.
So they spend the rest of the season trying to find a way to get Morgana out of the Hell deal. Doesn't work! Hellhounds drag Morgana to Hell. Arthur goes off the deep end, nurturing a friendship with the demon Cedric, starts drinking demon blood.
Then the angel Morgause grips Morgana tight and raises her from perdition! Which means that Arthur is back to being Lucifer's vessel, but this time they're gonna fight the fight without anyone going to hell, if he can help it.]
+
The first night out of the pit, Morgana crawls into Arthur's bed and his reaction is unthinking and lazy: he shifts to the side and lifts his arm, grunting as Morgana crooks herself to fit against him, hooking her leg around his thigh and resting her chin on his head as he burrows into her neck, his breath warm on her collarbone.
They haven't slept like this since they were children, and all its associated memories come flooding back to her: nightmares and transient motel rooms, the buzz of the television, the future pounding in her head as she wondered whether it was real or delusion. Wondered if she should tell Uther about her dreams or if she should just keep her mouth shut so she wouldn't end up salted and burned.
Uther is no longer a problem she has to deal with.
Morgana remembers one particular memory of curling up like this, Arthur's voice rusty with sleep as he said to her, "Your heart's beating really fast."
It was, and it's beating really fast now, but she can't let that get the best of her. She can't let Hell get the best of her. In her mind's eye, she only sees the flames lick ever higher, burning the sin from her bones. Morgana can feel phantom blades cutting her skin when she closes her eyes, and she hangs on to Arthur and tries to stay afloat.
"Are you okay?" Arthur murmurs, and Morgana shakes her head no, because who is okay after Hell? It should be on a t-shirt: I saved my brother from Lucifer's clutches and all I got was four months in Hell.
"I'm here," he reassures her absently, patting her hair.
This is when Morgause appears, stepping out from the shadows with a sound like the rustling of leaves. She says no greeting, only tips her head to the side as if in contemplation at the situation. Morgana waves, feebly. Arthur, already halfway back to dreamworld, sleeps with his back towards Morgause, and so does not see her approach the bed.
Morgana does not take her eyes off her, does not quake.
"You should rest," Morgause whispers, bending over and touching Morgana's cheek with two fingers.
"I'm trying," Morgana murmurs. She feels the warmth spreading from from Morgause's touch, making her eyes heavy and her tongue feel thick. "But Hell keeps..."
"Hell what?" Arthur interrupts hoarsely, but by that time, Morgana is already asleep, breathing evenly and dreaming of nothing. He looks up because he thought he heard the rustle of leaves, but there's no one else in the room.
Arthur pulls the blanket up to their chins and closes his eyes.
+
Arthur envies Morgause the brightness in her eyes when she looks at Morgana: it is something single-minded and trusting, like the look a soldier gives a general, like Morgause doesn't care what Morgana has done in the past as long as she is here now.
He hasn't had the chance to feel that way about Morgana in a long time.
He makes up for it by being reluctant to let Morgana leave his line of vision, and it is driving her insane. She says, The one who lived through Hell doesn't get to be babied, thanks. Fair enough, but he doesn't care. When she's brushing her teeth, she leaves the bathroom door open and Arthur sneaks glances over the top of Gaius's journal at her back and the curve of her neck, her skinny arms like the necks of swans. She still isn't talking about Hell, so Arthur tries not to think about it, but when he sees her now with her skin unmarred and her stance still graceful, he can't help but wonder how that pale skin and soft flesh must have given way to the fire. He thinks of the angel reconstituting his sister's body from her own grace, and feels envious all over again.
"Take a picture, creeper."
"What?"
Morgana glances over her shoulder, somehow managing to look beautiful with foam dribbling out of her mouth. "Take a picture. It'll last longer."
He thinks she understands though, because the last time they were both drunk and he said "I can't believe you're here", Morgana said "Me too". He had kissed her forehead, felt her inhale shakily. Felt the crackle of relief in her voice when she murmured, "I'm here, I'm back."
Back in the present moment, Arthur says, "So, Pennsylvania tomorrow?"
"That's what Morgause says," Morgana shrugs, as if that were enough.
Another day, another seal. Morgana slips into her own bed wearing Arthur's sweatpants and a ratty tank top, and falls asleep right away. It takes Arthur a while, though. He spends the next hour poring over the journal looking for clues about the end of the world, or what to do when the devil wants to wear your body for a meatsuit, but he finds nothing, as usual.
+
Morgause doesn't sleep. Morgana sometimes wakes in the middle of the night to find the angel standing by the side of her bed or sitting on it, watching. They've given up explaining to her why this is creepy -- Morgana because she believes Morgause is well-intentioned, Arthur because he doesn't like banging his head on brick walls. Morgause appears from between sidelong shadows and frail sunbeams with instructions and warnings and, sometimes, a warm hand on Morgana's forehead that dims the red and black of her dreams.
"Do you ever make Arthur's nightmares go away?" she asks one time.
"You are my charge," Morgause explains.
"Yeah, but... What, does he never have any nightmares?"
"Not ones like yours."
Morgana glances over to her brother on the other bed. Even if it's not nightmares, there has been something out of focus about him, and it's not so much that she can't find the reason why, more like she can find a hundred reasons why. Lucifer chasing him, for one. Her death, for another. Her resurrection. Arthur spent the week after her return switching between treating her like a volatile bomb and forcing a cheeriness that was too edged in desperate relief to really feel comfortable. As usual, they don't talk about it. They just drive from town to town until she can feel like she's been killing monsters all her life again, until Arthur stops acting like she's made of glass. It's the Apocalypse and everyone has problems.
Morgause doesn't sleep, but she bleeds. She doesn't eat, but she breathes, and when Morgana grabbed her out of the way of that demon today, she felt Morgause's heart beating wildly under her palm. No matter how many times the angel is wounded or her clothes are torn, no matter how many times she is trapped or sent crashing through walls, Morgause always reappears whole to Morgana, like an ode to restoration and the mercy of her absent god.
"Is Arthur dreaming right now?" Morgana breathes.
Morgause concedes a brief appraisal. "No."
"Good. Good... Is he okay though?"
The angel lifts her hand and touches two fingers to Morgana's forehead, and Morgana closes her eyes.
+
One night, in an anonymous hotel room, Arthur wakes up with the warm tang of demon blood at the back of his throat, and it takes a few seconds for the room to focus, for him to realize that it was only the memory of demon blood, and the craving for it. He sits up in his bed and rubs his face, ignores the steady ache gathering underneath his ribs. In his mind, he can see Cedric's face, as benignly unreadable as the last time he cut into his forearm and held the wound out to Arthur. Go on. How will they stop Lilith otherwise?
Arthur's cellphone is on the nightstand and all it'll take is a text.
From the next bed over, Morgana snores and Arthur glances over blearily. She wears a tank top and a pair of his boxers to bed, and even in the dim shadows of the room, the handprint on her shoulder stands out in the moonlight, dark and angry. He remembers fitting his hand against the handprint, curious, and had been surprised to find that whoever had marked Morgana had smaller hands than him. Then Morgause showed up and things fell in place, sort of. As much as things fall into place in their lives anyway. An angel of the Lord with small hands and terrifying eyes pulled Morgana from the pit, and as creepy as Morgause was, Arthur has to be thankful to her for that.
Arthur glances at his cellphone.
In her bed, Morgana rolls over and her snores are muffled, and Arthur thinks, She'd never know.
+
[Morgana addressing Arthur about the future: 5x04. (I have died, I have seen you die, I have seen me die. I have seen you kill me, and I saw what happened when the angels left.)]
+
[Eventually, it is revealed that Morgana is Michael's vessel. No one is happy about this. As per the SPN mythos, Michael and Lucifer will possess human forms and fight apocalyptic battles on earth. This basically means, Arthur and Morgana's sibling love/hate rivalry is only gonna get even more epic and destructive. UNLESS THEY STOP IT. UNLESS ARTHUR AND MORGANA OVERTURN DESTINY.
Also, here is the gist about Arthur's situation, I guess: he's jealous of the Morgause/Morgana relationship because of 1) the strange and visceral bond between them. Arthur no longer has the innocence to trust Morgana so utterly, and back when he did, she didn't want it. He also wonders whether 2) the fact that Morgana has been chosen by Heaven means that all her sins have been forgiven, that she has been absolved. You can't be Michael's vessel if you're 'tainted', right?
In the end it just seems kind of unfair. Morgana's the one who left the family, made deals with demons (to save Arthur, sure, but still), and went to Hell, but in the end she's still Heaven's chosen vessel. She's the one who gained a guardian angel, this strange creature in her film noir trenchcoat and her too-wide eyes, who speaks only in promises and threats.
And what does Arthur get for a lifetime of trying to be a good son and a good soldier? What does he get for hunting evil, saving people? An addiction to demon blood, and Lucifer wanting to wear his body. Morgause's suspicious frowns when he exorcises demons with just a touch, and Morgana's defensive snits when he tries to question what Morgause's real motives are anyway.]
+
[I AM THE PROPHET MERLIN, also an alcoholic. It's part of my process. Here is my fanboy Will. He knows your measurements, Morgana.
"Creepers," Morgana comments.]
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YES PLEASE. That's all I've got left. (Ok, well, except the handprint. And Cedric. And the image of Emilia Fox in a trenchcoat because MEOW!)
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It's kinda funny because I still felt like I was writing SPN fic with random name changes, so I wondered whether I should be pushing things more somehow. I typed 'Dean' when I meant 'Arthur all the time. It's like this is just an AU where Dean is for some reason named Arthur and Sam is a girl named Morgana. Doubly weird because I don't do Wincest, but apparently I do Wincest vibes when it's Arthur and Morgana? Ahaha.
Heee, yes there's things need to be written about Cedric being a skeevy demon friend.
<3!
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