whynot: etc: oh deer (Default)
Las ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2009-05-27 03:20 pm

this post ships Merlin/unicorn

Oh, and there is also this. I wrote this over at [livejournal.com profile] comment_fic for the prompt "Parker turns into a ceramic cat". Specifically this ceramic cat. IDK. Maybe one day I'll write something for comment_fic that isn't 'Leverage' crack.

Okay, before that. Does anyone else, when watching the music video for "Lady" by Modjo feel the urge to write fic for it? Or maybe not fic, more like a story that expands on what happens in the music video? Girl/Boyfriend/Bald Guy was possibly my first OT3. They road-trip through the countryside in a shitty car, hijack stage-time at a country fair, and break into a motel where they all shower together and sleep in the same bed. fhdjkdsd so much joy! If someone can request Chuck E. Cheese fic for Yuletide, I can request Yuletide fic for this music video and MAYBE I WILL.

And, someone needs to write the "Merlin/Arthur, in the time of the dinosaurs" prompt really badly. NEEDZ M0AR RAPTORS. Furthermore: everyone's favorite 'Avenue Q' song as appropriated by 'Merlin'.

To conclude, when no one was looking, Lex Luthor took forty cakes.


Faster, Pussycat!
Leverage. PG. Ensemble. 613 words.
A handful of facts about the time Parker got turned into a ceramic cat.
ETA: [livejournal.com profile] sgrio did a lovely erasure of this fic, which you can read here: ménage à trois.


1. They put her where she could at least see the goings-on of HQ, but there wasn't usually a lot going on in HQ anyway. Once, Eliot had paused in midstep and said, "Here," and put Parker on the windowsill, so she could watch the city below. She was grateful for that.

2. Parker had never sat so still for so long in her life.

3. When Hardison passed by, he would always nod at her and say, "'Sup, Parker," like she could actually answer back. Sometimes Sophie would smile and say "hey there, kitty cat," and man, Parker bet Sophie would never call her that if Parker were still human.

4. They still bring her along for Hardison's presentations. She sits on the table between Sophie and Eliot with no choice but to have her eyes glued to the screens. Hardison would say things like, "What do you think, Parker?" and cross his arms and go, "Uh-huh, uh-huh," at her until Nate felt compelled to cut in with something about wasting time. Hardison would hold up his finger and say, "It's impolite to interrupt a lady when she's speaking her mind."

5. Some nights, Nate would get drunk alone in the office. Sometimes, but not always, he would remember that he wasn't actually alone in there, and he would do one of three things: a) give Parker a pointed look and a warning, and continue drinking; b) put her in a drawer; or c) start talking to her, about his past, his future, himself, Sophie, etc. Parker didn't know which of these options she hated most.

5a. Sophie would get really angry at Nate for putting Parker in a drawer.

5b. One time, when Nate had been indulging in a heavy bout of c), he passed out still drunk and clutching Parker to his chest. Sophie wasn't happy about that either.

6. Sophie took it upon herself to keep Parker clean and well-polished. During these sessions, she would also babble endlessly to Parker about her past, her future, herself, Nate, etc. It was probably a good thing Parker couldn't roll her eyes. She was a ceramic cat, not a confessional, but they equated her silence with acceptance, and it wasn't like Parker could do much about it anyway.

7. Parker didn't mind when Hardison babbled to her, though. He would bounce into the room all excited and say, "Man, you gotta see this," and he'd scoop her up and set her by his laptop so she could see. Sometimes it was some hacking breakthrough that she couldn't really understand, and sometimes it was juicy dirt on their next mark, but at least he wasn't all mopey about it. Sometimes Hardison would whisk her off just to watch old X-Files episodes together and, okay, scifi wasn't really her thing, but she liked the episodes where Mulder and Scully get to kick monster butt. The ones about the government (or the army? or possibly aliens?) just gave her a headache.

8. The most Eliot ever said to her was to cock his head to the side and say, "So what do you think happens if someone breaks you?" Then he shrugged and went to the kitchen to make himself a sandwich.

9. Parker hated and loved the day right after the crew ran a con. Everyone had a self-satisfied glow to them, joking and going, "remember when?". "We really could've used you last night," someone would say to her, and she would itch to rappel off a building, cartwheel through an unlit hallway, and have the prize be just beyond her fingertips, almost within reach.

10. In her dreams, Parker climbed and jumped and fell and flipped, at home in constant movement as she had always been.