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truthwebothknow: A Mulder/Scully daily community that I'm digging hard. agents in loooove <333Here's a story:
Lass A: Naw, dude, you have to finish up your 10,000-word fic and then work on your thesis, you have no time for college AU memes.
Lass B: Five minutes. FIVE MINUTES. Woah hey, a Sam/Cas prompt! Interesting...
Lass A: You don't even like all-human AUs, remember?
Lass B: 'All-boys religious school'? Do you think they mean like a seminary, or like a Jesuit school or something?
Lass A: If you REALLY want to write Sam/Castiel, we've got a nice fic idea with some Dean-related emotional displacement all set up for after you finish--
Lass B: What the hell do I know about seminaries though, so maybe the latter, yeah?
Lass A: Oh, jesus.
COMMENTFIC MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU'RE SORRY, OKAY.
Ars Bromantica
Supernatural. Cas/Sam, Dean. R. 1888 words.
College AU. "It's not like everyone deals with crises of faith by making out with their roommate's brother in the confessional, but hey, everyone's different, right?"
It's not like everyone deals with crises of faith by making out with their roommate's brother in the confessional, but hey, everyone's different, right?
Sam towers over him, and when they tangle around each other like this, Cas feels engulfed and he likes it. Sam doesn't know his own strength, and his desire is unrestrained, and when he pulls Cas down onto his lap to suck on his neck, Cas gasps at how hard he bites.
When Sam's hands move down to the crotch of Cas's jeans and starts tugging at the zipper, Cas says, "Sam-- no, Sam, wait stop--"
"What?" Sam breathes in his ear, but doesn't stop. "What's wrong?"
"Sam, stop!" Cas hisses.
Sam stops. He raises his eyebrows at Cas in a 'what now?' expression.
"We can't--" Cas begins. "Not here."
"Why the hell not?"
"We're in the chapel!"
Sam gives him an incredulous look.
So that's how Cas ends up alone and hard in the confessional, listening to the sound of Sam's retreating footsteps and thinking man, he sucks at being pious, he sucks at not being pious, but first things first: he's gonna sit right here and wait for his boner to calm the fuck down.
It takes a while. The sense memory of Sam tugging him close and slipping his hands under Cas's shirt doesn't help.
+
There's a party at their sister school, St. Agatha's, and after half an hour of Dean pestering him to come along or have his college student status revoked, Cas finally gets some peace when his roommate leaves to pre-game at Ash's.
It's Friday night and Cas is going to hunker down with his accounting homework, because he is a champ. Of losers.
When it's two hours into Saturday morning, there is a knock at the door. Dean drunkenly losing his keys again? Very likely, but what Cas actually sees when he opens the door in the middle of saying "Dean, I told you to make copies--" is Sam. Sam, leaning against the doorway as if he's trying to look like he's not steadying himself.
Cas tilts his head, confused. "Sam?"
"Dean's spending the night with Lisa," Sam explains.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"So..." Cas wonders if he should offer Sam a beer. Nah, he looks like he's had enough. Maybe some milk? They have milk, right? Maybe not, 'cos it's Dean's turn to buy the milk this week and he never remembers--
"So, this isn't a chapel," Sam points out.
Cas blinks. "Yeah. No. What?"
Sam leans forward and kisses Cas.
Ah.
Cas pulls Sam through the doorway.
+
Sam's not like other guys Cas has slept with, not that there have been many, because he only started having sex when he came to college and geez, what a shame, because there's something about going to a Christian school that doesn't bring the queers out of the woodwork for some reason.
Sam is like the... third? gay guy that Cas has met in this stupid school, and of course he just had to be his roommate's brother, for extra awkward. Not that Sam seems to care. Cas wonders if Dean knows, but Cas is no way jose gonna bring this up with Dean unless Dean brings it up first. Besides, Cas has other things to think about right now. Like sex with Sam.
It's awesome.
Honestly, the other guys have been kind of timid or lackluster in bed, which sucks, 'cos Cas is too. But just like back in the confessional, Sam holds nothing back, and he fucks Cas hard and groans loudly and sounds like he's gasping for air half the time and it's so fucking hot, Cas just wants to give back as much as he's receiving.
He rolls them over and Sam lets him, and Cas says, "Shh, just relax," and clenches around Sam as he goes slow, going for that slow burn effect and oh god is it working? Cas doesn't really know what he's doing, is it working? It seems to be. Sam seems to really like it, if those grunts and bruising hands on his hips are any indication, and okay awesome, because this feels really fucking good and Cas kind of doesn't want this to end ever.
But hey, leave it to Cas to awk up a good thing eventually, because after the sex, when they're just lying around sated and dazed in sticky sheets, the first thing Cas says is, "Do you believe in God?"
Sam lifts his head. "What?"
Oh god. "Uh. Never mind."
But Sam's shaking his head, though not without a smile. Oh well, at least it's not a frown, even if the smile is basically saying Oh, that Cas, what a doofus. "I love how you think pillow talk is an appropriate arena to discuss your crisis of faith."
"Look, forget I said anything--"
"It's not a crisis of queerness, is it?"
"No!" Cas sets his jaw. "No, I'm fine being queer."
Cas's sexuality and his faith have never been contradictory aspects to him, at least not until he came to St. Mark's. All the guys here are all "fag this" and "queermo that" and god, Cas misses his church back home sometimes. Pastor Jim may have been overfond of the singing service and quoting lame poetry during sermons, but at least no one got called a fag at the slightest provocation. Also Pastor Jim was kind of cute. Pastor Zachariah though, he's kind of a dick.
Sam shrugs. "I dunno, man, I guess there's a god. But to tell you the truth, I'm in this school for the law program."
+
"No, it's like," Sam says, and pauses as he exhales the smoke. "It's like, I don't think God expects you to believe in Him all the time. Right?"
"That, uh. Actually, no. That's not right at all," Cas says, and shakes his head when Sam offers him the joint. Cas is feeling plenty baked already. "That's the whole point of it, actually."
"I think," Sam says, his eyes rimmed red, "I think that you need to love Him more than you need to believe in Him. And you don't always believe the ones you love, right?"
Cas tilts his head. "You don't?"
"Um." Sam evades the question by taking another hit. "If you love someone," Sam squeaks, trying to hold his breath and talk at the same time, "then there are two things you have to do, okay." He exhales. "One: call them out on their bullshit."
"...Are we even talking about God anymore?"
"Two: you have to give them their space." Sam looks thoughtful. "Yeah, I guess I don't know how you'd call God out on His bullshit. But God sure as hell can give you some space."
"Space to doubt Him?" Cas says skeptically.
"To think, dude," Sam says, with the beatific certainty of one who has been there before. "To be yourself."
Cas asks, "Are you talking about Dean?"
Sam just stares at him blankly and Cas thinks KILL ME NOW, why didn't I just keep my mouth shut, now he's gonna throw me out of his apartment and we're never gonna have sex again, shit.
But Sam says, "Dean has his own problems," which isn't a yes or a no. Sam and Cas do get to sexing soon after that, but Cas gets the impression that it's more to change the subject than anything else, and when Cas leaves, Sam doesn't even say goodbye.
Stupid Winchesters and their sad stories. Always trying to upstage everyone else's stories. But Cas thinks of his own family and their special brand of crazy, how it tends to bleed everywhere and hurt everyone even when they don't mean it to, and Cas thinks maybe he understands.
+
Sometimes Cas worries that Dean's gonna come home and find his roommate in bed with his brother, and THEN what's gonna happen? Will Dean beat the crap out of Cas for sullying his little brother's honor? Well, probably not. Besides, Sam is twice Cas's size, so Cas is not sullying Sam's honor unless Sam wants him to. But still. What will Dean do?
Apparently, this:
Dean opens the bedroom door and walks in, saying, "Cas, have you seen my HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER."
He runs back out again.
When Cas and Sam are decent, they go to the living room where they find Dean drinking a beer staring intently at the television.
"Oh my god, you guys," is all Dean says, not looking at either of them.
"Surprise?" Sam offers.
"Yes," Dean agrees.
"We were going to tell you--" Cas lies.
"Whatever, I don't care, I just wish I haven't--oh my god. I need some bleach, for the brain. I need a scrubbing brush."
"Grow the fuck up, Dean," Sam sighs. "It's called a penis, okay? You have one too."
"It usually doesn't go up Cas's ass," Dean retorts.
"Oh, contrary to popular belief," Sam says airily.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean and Cas chorus, and then they look at each other.
"Did you... not hear your brother?" Cas asks. "He was pretty loud."
"I thought you were just watching porn," Dean says weakly.
Sam raises an eyebrow at Cas. "Does he walk in on you watching porn often?"
"Surprisingly often," Cas sighs.
"You douchebags," Dean exclaims. "Just put a fucking sock on the door next time, okay?"
Sam shrugs. "Okay."
"Scout's honor," Dean insists.
"Dude, none of us were ever in Boy Scouts."
"Cross your hearts!" Dean howls.
"Oh my god," Sam says. "I promise you won't catch me and Cas having sex again unless you insist on interrupting Cas in the middle of his porn."
"What he said," Cas nods.
And then they drink some beers and watch CSI reruns.
That went pretty well, Cas thinks.
+
"Found God yet?" Sam asks Cas the next time he drops by their apartment.
"Found yourself yet?" Cas replies.
"I'm going to Ash's," Dean says, and beats a strategic retreat.
The answer to to both these questions is probably no, but that's probably okay. Everyone has questions, right? Like "What the hell is up with God?" and "Why does family suck sometimes?" and "Why does my roommate walk in on me when I'm trying to get off?" (The last one doesn't happen so often anymore.) It's pretty easy to get lost in unanswerable questions.
"The point is to stick to answerable questions for now," Sam shrugs, "until you work things out."
"Yeah," Cas says, pushing Sam to the bed. "Like, how fast can you get out of your clothes?"
Four-point-eight seconds.
"How does it feel when I do this?"
Really fucking good.
Cas leans in close, his mouth a breath away from Sam's. "How much do you want me?"
Sam bursts out laughing. "Holy shit! Did you really just say that, you big homo?"
Cas sits up and scowls as Sam rolls around the bed in hysterics.
"You want some wine with that cheese?" Sam guffaws.
"Okay, so you don't want me very much," Cas huffs.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He takes Cas's arm. "Come here. Sorry. I want you a lot."
"You are insufferable," Cas announces, crawling over him and kissing Sam on the nose.
"I know," Sam says. "Here, let me make it up to you."
DUH END
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