whynot: etc: oh deer (i'll stop the world)
Las ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2010-03-08 04:35 pm

wherein the "rehymenated" line would actually make sense

Happy International Women's Day, everwun! This totally gives me an excuse to procrastinate my collaborations and celebrate the day with genderbending Supernatural! What happens when you give ladies manpain? According to TV execs, the world may never know. Fandom begs to differ!

I heart Supernatural an effing lot, but here is another show I would watch.


Dean Winchester
Diana "Dee" Winchester (Katee Sackhoff)

And Sam says okay I'll see you around, and Dee tells her not to spend all her time in the library. Live a little, she says, and Sam just gives her a small smile. Dee shoves her hands in her pockets and watches her sister disappear into the dorm, swallowed up by the bustle of freshmen and families, by another life.

It's gonna be weird, just her and Mom. As annoying as Sam is, she's a Winchester. She can hunt with the best of them, and she's trading bullets for books. It's kinda fucked up, Dee thinks.

Her cellphone rings and it's Mom, already in La Honda. "I need you to bring more salt," Mom says, "and a silver knife, consecrated."

Dee is on her way.


Sam Winchester
Samantha Winchester (Evangeline Lilly)

"It's just like the good old days, huh, Sam?" Dee grins, keeping her eyes on the road when she clasps Sam's shoulder.

Sam doesn't say anything, because the good old days never included a dead boyfriend and a missing mother. Something heated and sharp had squeezed Sam's heart when she realized that in the end she was gonna go with Dee, again. Maybe, she thinks resignedly, she will always go with Dee. Sam climbed into the Impala and felt like she couldn't breathe, Styx blaring in her ears as they leave the west behind.

Dee pops AC/DC into the tape deck, but Sam pops it back out again. They exchange glances in the rearview mirror, and Dee says, "Bitch," and Sam says, "Jerk," but Dee doesn't put anymore tapes in and lets the silence weigh heavy on them both.


John Winchester
Jane Winchester (Jodie Foster)

It's Dee's turn to get the take-out, so Jane finds herself alone in a room with her youngest daughter for the first time in years. She's glad the television's already on; they can both pretend they like The Wonder Years.

But then Sam says, "You know..."

Jane looks over, cautious with hope.

"It occurred to me," Sam muses, watching Fred Savage be awkward on screen, "back when I thought I was gonna be a lawyer. I thought, one day I might have to be a lawyer for you, sometimes."

Jane swallows. "Sam--"

"And then I wondered to myself," Sam says, "how often can I use the insanity defense anyway?"

She smiles tentatively at her mother, and Jane throws back her head and laughs. It is a broad full-bodied laughter, shot through with relief and surprise and a stupid hopeless love. Sam laughs too, and god, what a wonderful sound. Jane loves her kids. So help her god, she loves her girls so fucking much and she thinks that once this is over, once they get that yellow-eyed bitch, Jane is going to do right by them. She will make it okay.


Bobby Singer
Bobbie Singer (Gina Torres)

After Jane died, Bobbie shepherded Sam and Dee back up to South Dakota, where she made them hot food and gave them whiskey and let them put themselves back together. Dee would disappear all day into the jungle of dead jalopies to work on the Impala, and Sam shuffles around Bobbie's library like a zombie who goes "booooooks" instead of "braaaaiiiins".

"It's almost dinnertime," she says to Sam, who's curled up under a blanket, nose-deep in some ancient tome. "Go get your sister."

"She doesn't wanna eat," Sam mumbles.

"I didn't ask you if she wanted to eat, I told you to get your sister."

Sam raises her eyebrows, and god, it's the same look Jane used to give her when Bobbie informed her in no uncertain terms that her plan was stupid. Yeah, Bobbie has seen that look a lot.

"She'll just yell at me again," Sam says.

"You can get yelled at by your sister, or you can get yelled at by me," Bobbie shrugs. "Either way, it seems you're getting yelled at, so make a choice."

With a put-upon, long-suffering sigh, Sam puts the book aside and pushes her self to her feet, stretching as she slips into her sandals and heads for the door.

Bobbie shakes her head and goes back to the kitchen. "Idiots," she mutters.


Ellen and Jo Harvelle
Eddie and Joe Harvelle (Hugh Laurie & Chris Pine)


"Do you know them, son?" Eddie asks, looking out the window as he arms his rifle. The two women hover by their car and stare at the Roadhouse hesitantly.

Joe shakes his head. "Nope. Nice car though, huh?"

Eddie gives him a Look.

"Just saying," Joe mutters.

"Okay, they're coming in," Eddie hisses. "Get you and your gun out of sight. Let's see what these bitches want."


Ruby
Rufio (Milo Ventimiglia)

(lol omg what the hell is this picture)

Sam raises her head in the gloom of the room, and the flickering streetlight from outside falls through the window and across her face, her blood-stained mouth.

"You're beautiful like this," Rufio murmurs, lifting a hand to touch her cheek but Sam only flinches away, which is maybe only to be expected.

"I'm just doing this for Lilith," Sam says tightly. "This is only for the end of the world."

And Rufio laughs. "Of course it is, sweetheart. Of course."

He lets her drink from him, smiles at her stifled moans, and when she has had her fill, Rufio flips them over. He wills his wound to close and brushes his lips against her ear, whispering, "We'll stop them all."

She closes her eyes, and he tastes his own blood on her lips.


Castiel (Milla Jovovich)

The Impala is confining, to say the least, and Castiel wonders if she has become too used to letting the hunter get her way. Dee responds to Castiel's repeated "we're wasting time!" with "at least this way no one gets constipation". Still, when they are on deserted stretches of highway, Castiel notices Dee speeds up.

"So how do you wanna play this?" Dee asks when they approach the Maine border. "Good cop, bad cop? Good human, bad angel? You know I love it when you get your smite on, Cas."

Castiel frowns. "We will avoid smiting."

"Right.. I guess you and Raphael had that smite-off already."

"Yes," she agrees.

Dee tucks her bangs behind her ear, something she does only when she feels anxiety. "Cas, are you...?"

"What?"

She hesitates. "Nothing," Dee decides. "Just promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

Castiel replies, "I'm always careful."

"No," Dee says, tight-lipped. "You're not."


Chuck Shurley
Charlene "Charlie" Manokaran (Mindy Kaling)

Sometimes she thinks she should've become a doctor like her mother wanted, or an engineer like her father wanted, but it's not her fault if she has a gift for writing. It's also not her fault if she's a Prophet of the Lord. Charlie is still mulling over how she's gonna break that to the 'rents. They're pretty Christian; they'd totally be happy, right? Right?

Ugh. This blows.

Charlie just moved in to this new apartment in this new town and she knows no one here, so she does what she does best when she's drunk and lonely and, oh yeah, why don't we add scared out of her mind because Samantha Winchester jumpstarted the apocalypse. Why don't we add that to the list.

She signs in to her sock-puppet account and starts trolling the MoreThanSisters.com message boards, smiling grimly to herself.


Becky Rosen
Ben Rosen (Dominic Monaghan)

"Oh my god, you're like hotter than the last time I saw you," Ben blurts out. "I didn't think that was like possible."

"Um, thanks," Sam says. "I guess."

Behind her, Dee rolls her eyes.

"Look, Ben, I need your help," Sam says, and she even smiles at him. Fuck, he can get a hard-on just staring at that smile. Yeah, those smiling lips. Those lips that can wrap around his-- "...you listening to me? Ben! Hey!"

"What?" Ben blinks. "Huh?"

Dee laughs.


Zachariah and Uriel
Zachariel and Uriel (Cristine Rose and Emma Thompson)

What is it about humans? How are they so stubborn? Why do they refuse to learn? Even after that hellish vision of the future, Dee spits in her face, but just as Zachariel closes in on her again, Dee disappears from the motel room.

Castiel, Zachariel thinks angrily, and curses the name.

If Uriel were here, she would want to go after them, hunt Castiel down and finish her once and for all. Uriel has always been brash. It is why she is dead.

No matter. The Michael Sword will come around soon enough. Now is the time to regroup, to be patient. To have faith, as it were.

Zachariel spreads her wings and slips behind a shadow, and the motel room is empty once more.


Gabriel (Salma Hayek)

When they kill Anael, Gabriel feels it in the threads of her being, but she doesn't have the energy to mourn her brother, not anymore. There are too many fallen. An angel can only take so much.

What will she do with herself, she muses, when the world finally ends? Will she stay and try a family reunion on for size? Will she leave for the next cosmos? Gabriel is under no illusions that a fresh start will cure discord among the angels. They're a querulous lot, and she should know. They'll find something else to shit on each other about, and Gabriel, like her family, is tired. She just wants to go home, but unlike Raphael, she knows that home is just a dream, intangible, like the memory of her Father, so far from them now, as alone as His children and as lost.

Fuck this shit, she thinks.

Gabriel takes another bite out of her Twix bar, and wonders who will win the war.


Lucifer (Elizabeth Mitchell)

"You can end it, Sam," Lucifer says softly, cupping Sam's tear-stained face. "It can stop right here and now. Say yes."

Sam looks away, choking on a sob.

"Say yes, Sam."

"Dee--"

"Is not here," Lucifer says. "Sam. Look at me."

And she does, because Samantha Winchester is not a coward, and Lucifer is proud of that.

"Say yes," Lucifer whispers, as around them the flames reach higher towards the sky.


ETA: I forgot to recast some people the first time around (namely young Mary, older Mary, younger John, Ash, Bela, Anna), so I've done that in this post. Pictures included, but no fic snippets. For now. ;)
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (well behaved women (girlyb_icons))

[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2010-03-09 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
EEEE THAT WOULD BE AWESOME. Except there is a little "x" in a box instead of Jane. *pouts*
Edited 2010-03-09 02:31 (UTC)

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2010-03-09 03:42 am (UTC)(link)
Thanks for the heads-up! I think I fixed it?
ext_2135: narnia: home sweet home (soraki) (Default)

[identity profile] bedlamsbard.livejournal.com 2010-03-09 03:49 am (UTC)(link)
Yep! OOH, I would watch this so much.