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[...don't fucking shhh me...]

serialkarma did beta duty.

lux__aeterna did 'listen to Lass's wibbling' duty. Kudos to them.

High and Dry
LOTRips. Ali/Billy, Dom/Billy. PG13.
This is Billy. This is Billy and Ali and Dom. Any questions?

"I didn't come here for this," said Dom. "I just wanted a couple of beers, maybe watch some television and suddenly you're foisting this bullshit on me."

"It's not bullshit if it's true."

"Oh, fuck you. Fuck 'true', I'm leaving."

"There you go avoiding-"

"I'm leaving!"

"-the issue! Again!" said Billy, drowning him out. "Fine! Leave! I didn't ask you over anyway."

Dom looked like he wanted to retort, but instead punched the wall, slammed the door, and was gone. Billy stood in the living room and stared straight ahead. His door was a dark brown color, it had a pattern of whorls like fingerprints, and Dom was a fucking idiot sometimes, and these facts have never been clearer to Billy as they were now. Seethe was the word of the moment and the word of the moment was seethe. Forgive was not the word lest thou then get the fuck out of my house, you fucking mental case. Billy collapsed onto the sofa, rubbing his face.

Ali appeared in the kitchen doorway like a survivor stepping out of a bomb shelter, softly like a cinematic fade-in. "Billy?"

"It's his fucking fault," said Billy. "I'm not going to have to do anything with it, it's his fault."

"You want I make us some tea?"

"Tea? Tea? You know what you're like?" His tone wasn't angry. He wasn't angry with Ali. He was just... When someone left slamming the door, it just left a bad taste in your mouth, was all. "You're like that woman in the Pocahontas sequel. The Disney version. John Rolfe's housekeeper, Mrs. Whatshername. Every time there was a calamity, she put on the tea. John Rolfe was arrested, she put on some tea. And." Billy tried to think.

"Right, then."

"I can't remember when else she made the tea, but if you want we can order the video off the internet and we'll watch it."

"Alright!" Ali blurted, throwing out her hands. "Fine! You don't want fucking tea! I get it, Boyd, I really do."

Billy stared at the kitchen doorway, now devoid of one Ali Makinen. Sighing, he walked over and leaned against the door-frame. Ali had just poured herself a glass of water and was drinking it very intently, very resolutely.

"Ali," said Billy.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Billy."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah."

"What's that?"

"What's what?"

"What's 'yeah'? What's that mean? Am I forgiven?"

"I want to say no."

"You want to say no?"

"Because you... because you're an absolute fucking tit sometimes, d'you know that?"

"I am aware that sometimes I am an absolute fucking tit. I hope there's a 'but' following."

"There is no 'but'. There's just a bottom line."

"What's the bottom line?"

"That I forgive you. For a lot of things."

Billy just looked at her, then said, "I don't know why the hell you put up with my shit. It's... awful and awe-inspiring."

Ali let the sentence trail off to its death before replying, "It must be a universal law. 'Let it be heretofore known that Ali Makinens the world over shall put up with the shit of William Boyd'."

"I must have missed the notices."

"You miss a lot of things."

Billy smiled then went back to the living room. He took his coat from the stand, pulled it on, and saw Ali watching him with an inscrutable expression on her face.

"I know I said I'd have nothing to do with it," he said before she could do, "and I wasn't lying then. But him I'll always have something to do with. I think."

"You better get to it, then."

Sensing that a faux pas was still at risk, Billy was reluctant to move. "Al?"

"What."

"You're a good person, you know?"

"Well, so are you."

"Then I guess that means we're perfect for each other."

Ali rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Oh, get on with it."

"I'll be back before supper."

***

'You fucking whore.' Yeah, those would be good first words to spit out at Dom, even though Dom was not - to the best of Billy's knowledge - fucking anyone at the moment. Maybe he was and he didn't tell Billy. Who said Dom had to keep Billy updated on the details of his life anyway? Who died and made Billy Dom's parole officer? Yes, sir, I've been home all day. Crocheting my doilies and baking pies, sir, that's right. No, sir, I haven't been out of town lately. Yes, sir, I did wipe my arse after I took a shit, thanks for asking.

It wasn't that he was controlling Dom's life. It was that Dom couldn't be arsed to control his own.

Arriving on Dom's doorstep, Billy let himself in. (Dom had a key to Billy's as well.) He hadn't come round for ages. The place looked remarkably well-kept for it belonging to someone who was more or less out of his head.

"You bastard," Billy called out. "Come down here right now." When there was no answer: "You fucking bastard!"

He took the stairs two at a time. Dom's bedroom was at the end of the hall, where Dom was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling, eyes glazed and a small something clutched in his left hand.

"Why did you not answer me?" Billy demanded.

Dom held a finger to his lips. "Shhh-"

"Don't fucking shhh me." Billy pried open Dom's left hand. "Is this it?" He took the small zip-loc bag of green and yellow capsules, and dangled it over Dom's face. "Dom. Is this it? Dom!"

Unfocused eyes. Flushed face. "Billy...?"

"I'm throwing these away, just so you know."

"You're... ruining. Shh." Dom raised his head, frowning unsteadily. "Wait."

"Just lie there and shut up," said Billy, heading into the bathroom.

"Billy, what are you doing with my..."

"Flushing them down the toilet."

"...what? No. Billy!" Billy heard the scuffling sound of someone rolling off a bed, then: "Billy! The fuck!"

Billy shook the pills out onto his palm.

"NO!" was all he heard before a weight slammed into him from behind and flattened him against the bathroom wall. The pills went flying. Billy pushed backwards, which may or may not have been a good idea, because now Dom's arms were completely around him, grasping for the pills. Amidst the struggling and the cursing and the yelling, Dom spotted the pills rolling around on the floor and forgot all about Billy. He staggered to his feet, fell to his knees, and began collecting the pills in his hand.

Billy made a grab for them but Dom closed his hand tightly, resolutely.

"Fine," said Billy.

He grabbed Dom's wrist and thrust their hands into the toilet bowl.

"What the fuck!" He tried to pull away but Billy's grip was cast in iron. "You fucking cunt. Let me go!"

It took talent, Billy thought, holding onto Dom's arm without ripping it off, what with the thrashing. Through gritted teeth, Billy said, "Open your hand and I'll let you go."

"You're mad. You're fucking mad!"

"Just open your hand, you fucking psycho!"

"I'm not the psycho!"

He kicked Billy in the stomach. It hurt like fuck, but all Billy did was cry out. He didn't let go. The muscles of Billy's arm were trembling with the strain. "For god's sake, open your hand, Dom."

"No."

Billy's hand scrabbled for the flusher, found it, and pulled hard. To Dom's drug-addled brain, the flushing toilet was apparently one of the scariest things in the world.

"Oh god!" Dom screamed. "You sick fuck! It's going to twist my arm off, fucking fuck, holy fuck, oh fucking god. Oh god. I hate you." Dom's voice cracked. "I hate you. My fucking arm."

"Which I will chew off if you don't stop being such a fucking pansy."

The toilet settled. After a pause, after a moment of held breath, so did Dom's struggle. Whether this was because of exhaustion or Billy's melodramatic threat, Billy wasn't sure.

Dom said, "Impossible. You can't chew off my arm."

"I can fucking well try. I can try to chew off your arm and maybe I'll only chew through half of it, and maybe in retrospect I'd think that chewing your arm wasn't the best push in the right direction I could have come up with. But at the very least I'd have done something." Billy was breathing hard, chest heaving. Tried to make the most cutting facial expression in the world. "Open your hand."

Dom stared at him, bleary-eyed, and for a second Billy thought they'd have to go another round. But Dom sighed, closed his eyes, and, finally, opened his hand. His arm was limp as a dead fish when Billy removed it from the toilet bowl. It dropped on the floor with a wet thud. Billy shut the toilet lid, pushed himself up, and sat on it. He saw Dom eyeing the stray pills around the floor.

"You touch those and I'll break your nose," said Billy.

"Okay," said Dom.

They sat back, silent, like marionettes collecting dust on a shelf. Billy noticed for the first time that Dom's bathroom lights flickered, just the slightest bit. He ought to get that fixed soon, he thought, and then he just let his mind go blank for a while.

***

Ali picked up the phone and Billy didn't even give her time to say hello. "Ali. Listen."

He stood outside Dom's door, using the phone in the corridor. He could see inside the bedroom, could see Dom changing into a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, could see Dom alternating between shooting hungry looks at the night table and nervous glances at Billy. "Ali, Dom's a fucking nut."

"Deja vu, mate. What can I do?"

"I had to shake him so much to get him to tell me where the drugs are, I might have dislodged his brain." Billy smiled to hear Ali giggle. "He's got them planted all over his house. The drugs, I mean. Not the brain. It was like some twisted scavenger hunt. We just went around his house picking up the pills that he kept in, like, the salt shaker and his vases, and in an empty Boondock Saints DVD case."

"What happened to the DVD?"

"Who knows? Who cares, really. Some guy thought he could out-Tarantino Tarantino and apparently he was wrong. Shit movie, besides. Anyway, that's not the point."

"Right, of course."

"I think he's got one more in a drawer in his room that he didn't tell me about but I'll check later."

"Check now before anything else happens."

"No. He knows I can see him and he won't try anything."

"Well. Good."

Billy leaned back against the wall and slid to the floor. He could hear the faint mutter of television on Ali's side. What would be on at this time? News?

Dom was dressed, or as dressed as one would be for bed. In the bedroom he sat in a position similar to Billy's: back against the wall, arms on his knees, waiting for the world to make sense. The events of the day were a blur in Billy's own head, and the words were out of his mouth before he realized it.

"You hate Dom, don't you?"

"What?"

Billy thought 'oh fuck' for a nanosecond, then pressed on purposefully. He thought, This conversation has been brewing for ages. He thought, It's bound to happen sooner or later and, really, why not now? Why not? He said, "Do you hate Dom."

"Do I... Is this a transference thing? Billy, I don't hate you."

"This is not a transference thing."

"No, I don't hate him. Why would you think that?" There was bitterness creeping into her voice. Billy could sense it and it unnerved the fuck out of him when she asked, "Have you been taking his drugs?"

"Fuck you."

"Oh, I've offended you, have I?"

"What, now you're offended?"

"Oh, fuck. No. Never, Billy! Gosh, no!"

"Fuck you!"

"Jesus Christ, Boyd!"

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, counted to three, then plowed onwards. "Ali."

"What."

"I'm sorry."

"Fine."

"Sorry I'm being a fucking idiot. Sorry my friend's being a fucking idiot and he's tossing away what he's got, flushing it down the fucking drain. Because he's too stupid to realize. Just.. everything. Down the loo. And hey, he's a mate, I love him, but he's being an absolute fucking cunt," - he yelled the word, "-and it's really fucking frustrating."

Ali said, "Welcome to my world, Boyd," but he ignored her.

In the bedroom, Dom stared straight ahead and appeared to be ignoring everything.

"Ali."

Soft, toneless: "What?"

"Tell me something."

"Tell you what?"

"I don't know. Say something real."

"...What?"

"Real. Something real. Tell me something real."

"I love you."

"No, tell me you hate Dom."

"I don't hate Dom. Why do you want to hear me say that?"

"Because it's true."

"No, you just want it to be true. Fuck you, Billy. Just because it's going to leave us with a neat explanation, doesn't mean it's the right fucking one."

"Al, for the past few months, you've been--"

"I've been what?"

"Look, just be honest with me, alright."

Ali exploded. "I'm being honest! I'm being honest with you, you fucking prick! I love you! Do you honestly think I'd stick around with you and... and... all this shit if I don't?"

"You don't hate Dom?"

"No!" Ali cried out. "No, I do not hate Dominic Monaghan, Billy. I'm afraid of him."

"What? Why?"

"Because he loves you as much as I do."

"Ali, you..." was how far Billy got before the full meaning of her words sank in. He opened his mouth as if to say something and ended up saying nothing. He tried again and the same thing happened. Finally: "What?"

She sighed. "Billy. Figure it out. Figure everything out, and... I don't know. I don't know. I've laid your cards out on the table because apparently you're too stupid to. Your move."

"...Oh."

"What I said back there. I meant it."

"About my being too stupid?"

"About my loving you," she said, and hung up.

Billy went back to the bedroom, where Dom was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the night table's open drawer. Without looking at Billy, Dom asked, "Does she hate me?"

"...No."

"Good."

"Yes," Billy agreed.

"That was really cowardly of you," said Dom. "Talk to me if you have to talk to me, but don't yell at Ali just so I can overhear. It's stupid and it isn't fair. Furthermore, if you're fucking up, then you're fucking up; don't blame it on me and call me a fucking idiot." He sighed. "I was hoping you wouldn't come in here until I've made up my mind."

"Made up your mind about what?"

"Whether I'll take these, or flush them down the toilet like you'd want me to." In the drawer, tucked between an address book and a broken discman, was another ziploc bag. "Like I should, I guess."

Billy took the bag of pills from the drawer. "You said we threw away every pill you had in the house."

Dom shrugged. "Except these."

"Are there any more?"

Dom didn't answer.

"Are there any more?"

"Yes."

"Where are they?"

Dom shrugged again.

"Are they in this room?"

"No."

"You're not lying to me this time."

"No."

"You're not lying to me this time," Billy repeated firmly. Dom looked up at him. "You're not lying," said Billy. "Say it."

"You're not lying."

"Cute." Billy opened the door to the bathroom. "When I come out of the bathroom, you're in bed and half-asleep, savvy?"

"Savvy." True to his word, when Billy returned Dom was in bed with the covers pulled up to his chest, the back of his head resting on the palms of his hands.

"What they do," said Dom, "is that you feel this... buzz. Sort of. Is buzz too strong a word? It's not a manic kind of high. It's a constant low hum. Like... telephone wires... or electricity. Something. In your veins. Like you're some ultra-energy-conserving lightbulb that can go on and on forever and you just... And it just courses through your body and all you can do is lie back and go... 'Ahh'." He looked at Billy. "I can't sleep."

Billy sat on the floor, leaning back against the bedroom door, facing Dom.

"What are you doing?"

Billy replied, "I won't sleep."

"You're just going to watch me all night long?"

"I can try."

Dom stared at him, then rolled over until he was just a lump beneath the sheets. "Stupid."

"Dom."

"What."

"...Nothing."

Dom replied, after a lengthy pause, "Good."

And Billy didn't really mean 'nothing'. He just couldn't find the right words, or the right words wouldn't find him. He didn't know what it was he felt, only that it was frightening, unsettling, and filled him with dread. He needed to go out, get some air, get some cigarette smoke, some alcohol into his blood stream. He needed to sort out the things in his head, because right now they were writhing this way and that, getting tangled up and confusing the hell out of him.

Billy wanted to call Ali and tell her, "You tell me what to do. You tell me." Billy wanted to grab Dom by the shoulders and yell, "You fucking stop this shit and help me make everything better." Maybe he should just hunt down Dom's extra hidden pills and pop some himself.

He did no such thing. Billy rested his head back against the door. He closed his eyes, and the light in the bathroom flickered and flared, and flickered and flared, all night long.

[end.]

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This is Billy. This is Billy and Ali and Dom. Any questions?

*raises hand meekly*

More, please?

Really liked the characterizations here. I really hope you plan to continue this.

Thanks, man. But, hehe, sorry. I don't foresee a sequel in the near future. We'll see how it goes, but for now my WIPs are eating me alive.

*gasp* oh my goodness! this was...I...you...there just aren't words for this. It was so REAL. I hope there's a second part...although, I'm sure there isn't.

May I friend you?

...although, I'm sure there isn't.
Right you are. ^_^; Thanks, though.

'Course you may friend me. Go ahead, share the love. I DARE YA.

bloody brilliant fic, and I particularly liked your fleshing out of Ali, someone which fandom really doesn't know too much about.

Apparently you're not planning on continuing this, which is a shame but it could definitely be left where it is. I would just like to have been able to see what happens. But maybe I'll just use my own imagination instead.

Well done on a great fic and thanks for posting it.

I'm such a sucker for ambiguous things, ambiguous endings included. So, yes. :)

and I particularly liked your fleshing out of Ali
Cool. Just trying to give the girl a fighting chance in this boys' club. So, I'm glad you like my version.

Heh, dude, no. Thank you.

I love ambiguous endings... you certainly left me wanting more. But then the fic didn't exactly start at the beginning either, did it? So the ending seemed somewhat fitting to me.

No, I should be thanking.... okay yeah, this could go on for a while!

In medias res. :) I'm also a sucker for the inbetweens.

This was good. It was good Dom and Billy but more importantly (to me), it was a good Ali that I could like and support. It's hard to find fics that have such a good Ali and I think yours just elbowed its way to the top.

I was going to try and say what I liked about this but that would take all day. I'll just say it's excellent all around with good characterizations, writing, descriptions, you name it.

Dude, awesome, I'm glad the Ali worked for you. :) I've never been a fan of slash fics where the girlfriend is demonized or dumbed down.

Thanks very much.

This was so, so good. Wow.

Ali appeared in the kitchen doorway like a survivor stepping out of a bomb shelter

What a perfect description. You're such an excellent writer.

Aww. *blush*
Merci. ^_^

::Flails:: brilliance. [/IsuckatfeedbackbutImeanwhatIsay]!1

I would ask for more, but I read the other comments already :((.

Haha, thank you. :)

So like, um, I don't follow this fandom, it doesn't interest me in the least, but I read this since it's you and it's been ages since I read something of yours and holy crap <3333.

What I love, mostly, is how you don't take the easy way out with your characters. It's a cliched plot, yeah, but it doesn't *feel* cliched because they don't react like fanfic characters, they react like people, and OMG I have no idea who Ali is but I love her.

<3333.

Yeah, dude, I was worried about the Drugs Are Weird drama before I posted it. So, y'know, I'm so glad you thought it worked.

Ali's Billy Boyd's girlfriend for real. She's some singer up in Scotland.

Gracias, senor. Ita?

I got around to reading this, after it sitting in my memories for several days. I enjoyed it; it showed a side of Dom I don't believe I've read before. Very interesting.

Haha awesome, man. Thanks.

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