Who you texting, Aja? Why does your hair clash with your accessories?

[whynot]

1. It's Saturday and I'm going to spend all night figuring out statistics software. UGH SO GROSS. But you know what's not utterly vile? The Gen Battle! It's like the Porn Battle, but you can't rely on sex to make things awesome, which is great because then you just have to be awesome for real! Also, I love how 'zombie apocalypse' has been a popular prompt. You can only post prompts until Feb 14 11, actually! Quickly now!

I have posted approximately 50 gajillion prompts and I'm gonna compile a few of them here just 'cos I can, 'cos I want to bring them to your attention in the hopes that they strike your fancy and you feel the sudden burning need to write them, omg. That would be splendid! A lot of these prompts are things I have drabbled or contemplated writing before, but am too lazy to follow through on, so I will just read what you write about them instead! PERFECT. Be free, prompts!


Disney, Donald, Goofy, & Mickey, live action, good old days, adapt
Crossover, Disney/Warner Bros, Donald & Daffy, I hate people with big ears, vodka

Merlin, Merlin, Morgana, Arthur, & Gwen, Narnia
Merlin, any, nonprofit organization AU, OH NO OUR BUDGET
Merlin, any, communist revolution AU

RPF, Andrew Zimmern & Anthony Bourdain, eww, your mom, tapeworm
RPF, Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels, blank stares, we will move mountains, you were only supposed to write 20 pages
RPF, John Lennon & George Harrison, afterlife

Johnny Maxwell, Yo-less & Bigmac, geography, don't press the button, where are my shoes?

Crossover, Merlin/House, Gaius and House, leeches, imbalanced humors
Crossover, Merlin/Harry Potter, Uther and Lucius, my son is better than your son, it's difficult to find good help these days
Crossover, Merlin/Harry Potter, Arthur & Draco, outprat, collaboration, daddy issues, insufferable dark-haired wizards
Crossover, Merlin/late night talk show RPF, any, the Merlin characters are interviewed on a late-night talk show
Crossover, Merlin/RPF, Uther & Barack Obama, not amused, vacation
Crossover, Merlin/RPF, Arthur & Barack Obama, lol democracy, negotiating with swords
Crossover, Merlin/The Office, any, what do they put in these things, quest, rescue, Uther will not be pleased
Crossover, Merlin/Monty Python and the Holy Grail, any, basically the set-up/side characters of MPatHG with the Merlin core cast

Crossover, Harry Potter/Matrix/Star Wars/Narnia/Merlin/X-Men, Dumbledore, the Oracle, the Dragon, Aslan, Yoda, Professor X, worst roommate ever, I'm voting you off the island, quest

MacGyver, MacGyver, six toothpicks, stick of gum, paperclip


2. I am taking a fabulous class called 'Women in Nonprofit Management'. I love it, mixed messages about gender solidarity and all. It also makes me want to write more nonprofit AU.

Edmund gets a phone call in the middle of the day and he's like, "Shit!" and Lucy's like, "What's wrong?" Edmund's like, "The whales got the money." And like, suck for Narnia, 'cos Peter is going to be pissed when he gets back, because the board (a.k.a... Aslan?) has been like, "Why so fail lately, Pete?" and this is just the icing on the cake. Great, just great.

Peter stomps into the office and Lucy bounces up to him and says, "Pete, I know it was a hard blow, but just remember: don't h--"

"Lucy I swear if you say 'don't hate, advocate' one more time I will feed you to the paper shredder so help me god."

...Yeah, that's all I got. To be maybe continued?

3. The internet tells me

In 2009, lassiterfics resolves to...

Cut down to ten lotrips a day.
Go to the caper movies every month.
Give up crossfandom otps.
Give some motherfucking pendragons to charity.
Apply for a new slash.
Give up commentficcing.

Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

are my new year's resolutions. Lollerskates @ things I will give up. NEVERRRRRRR!! Giving some motherfucking Pendragons to charity is a pretty boss idea, though. Who doesn't need some motherfucking Pendragons in their lives? I know I do.

4. statistics software + period + URGH IT'S SATURDAY AND I HAVE TO STAY IN = worst ever :(

5. And just to make it 5 things, I'm a-gonna do this meme: Comment with a story I've written, and I will tell you one thing I knew, learned, or wondered about while writing the story that didn't make it onto the page.

Comments

[fahye.livejournal.com]

Merlin/The Office

I think my brain just had hysterics

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Dude, you know Gwen and Pam would totally be BFFs. And Dwight will pretty much think he's died and gone to heaven, and corrects everyone on their 'anachronism'.

[marycontraire.livejournal.com]

UTHER AND BARACK. OH YES.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't even know what angle to attack that from! The obvious clashing of ideals? Or should there be a grudging respect sort of thing? Or does one just go straight for the lulz and have them be water-skiing buddies FROM THE FUTURE who fight crime or something. Where to begin??

[marycontraire.livejournal.com]

Suits should be involved. Barack Obama knows how to rock a suit.

[deepad]

The world needs more Non profit Narnia fic. ::nods:: set in Narnia, even!

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

This class I'm taking is so awesome that it doesn't even last the whole semester, and all we have to do for it is a five-page reaction paper. And the thought "man, if only I can just write that Narnia nonprofit AU incorporating our readings and turn it in, life would be awesome" definitely went through my head.

[deepad]

DUDE. You should seriously talk to your prof about whether writing a fictional reaction paper would be acceptable. Because you could make the argument that you want to critique the faux medieval feifdom economy prevalent in escapist fantasy literature by creating an experimental NGO scenario as a literary experiment. Set it in Narnia in Telmar or one of the other nations Lewis left underdeveloped, and play it out.

And I will love you forever.

[luciusmalfoy.livejournal.com]

I kind of thought your nonprofit AU was going to be Greenpeace seducing Oxfam with fair trade coffee and peaceful political protests.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Sorry to disappoint. :(
Greenpeace got no game. He wants to get into Oxfam's pants but he comes on too strong. You don't suggest sabotaging animal testing facilities on a first date, dude. That's totally post-second-base stuff.

[allothi.livejournal.com]

Merlin, any, communist revolution AU

Warlocks of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your CHAINS!

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

KEEP THE MARXISM A SECRET

[bedlamsbard.livejournal.com]

RE: meme: REFLECTING IN A WATERY MIRROR.

you and your nonprofit aus. *hearts*

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

In a way this is my Bedlam!Tirian apologist fic, 'cos he's so soft and giddy in Dust that I was trying to reconcile that with all the kingly business he must have had to do. 'Cos granted, he may not be king #1, but he was still king and he still had to lead people and deal with other leaders whose egos could be pretty bloated, and I was trying to find in your Tirian a Tirian that is not so easily cowed.

Also I learned that your Peter and my Peter are not as different as I thought.

[animus-wyrmis.livejournal.com]

Nonprofit AU=awesome.

...You could rewrite class notes into fic? You would remember things better! It would help classes and everything!

Comment with a story I've written, and I will tell you one thing I knew, learned, or wondered about while writing the story that didn't make it onto the page.
OH OH THE CALORMEN FIC WITH JADIS.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

I will have to sit down one day and write that AU and call it studying, because seriously. What a perfect opportunity!

I dunno what I can say that I haven't already included in the commentary. Hmm. I wondered up to what point Jadis still haunts Edmund. I'm sure she does for a while, but even after he has finally turned this haunting into a lesson to forge his own strength, I think he can't help but remember occasionally. Not frequently at all, and I don't think he remembers with longing or anything.

[zempasuchil.livejournal.com]

Merlin, any, communist revolution AU

OH YEAHHHHH ARTHUR AND HIS REDS, MORGANA AND HER COFFEESHOPS

This is going on my to-do list, honestly. over uncle johnny keynes. because I <3 revolutionaries more than I <3 economists.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

I was totally thinking of our conversation when I wrote that! I AM GLAD IT IS GOING ON YOUR TO-DO LIST. Did you see what me and allothi were commentflailing up there? AUGH. I wanted to go on for a WHILE, except, homework. :( If only there was a way for me to apply regression analysis and the R programming language to fandom, life would be awesome.

Our recent exchanges have given me new LJ interests. It now includes: awesomepanzer, the war on fail, and uncle john maynard keynes. Which I have totally just realized that that makes Edmund Skandar's cousin twice (thrice?) removed. WHAT.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Also, that icon will never not be THE BEST THING EVER.

[lettersandliars.livejournal.com]

WHY DO I WANT TO DO EVERY ONE OF THOSE PROMPTS, STOP THAT.

by which i mean, please, continue.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

OMG no YOU continue! which one strikes your fancy the most?! *ENABLES*

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

I see it! Thanks, Sgrio, you are a dream. Your comments are quite good.

Re: Free Prompts

[hola-viola.livejournal.com]

Um. Hi! Sorry. Couldn't resist one of your crossover prompts. Haven't read the source material in quite a bit, apologies if anyone seems OOC.

"--you are useless, aren't you."
Merlin doesn't respond, just stands in front of the wooden chest he's stood in countless times before, staring blankly. Like an idiot.
"Have you gone colorblind? Is that it? Are you seriously unable to tell the difference between dark brown and light brown? I've only got, like, two riding coats, so you would think it couldn't possibly be this difficult--"
"Arthur," Merlin says, but he still hasn't done anything in the way of getting him his coat, so Arthur just continues on.
"--to just grab it and give it to me, but, no, you have to stand there like an idiot, wasting my time--" Merlin twists his head back and shoots him an annoyed glance, but still doesn't move at all, because he is utterly useless.
"--because as we all know, when I ask you to do something, it's just a suggestion, which means, of course you can do it at your leisure, Merlin! In fact, when I ask you to get me my dark brown riding coat, what I really mean is--"
"Arthur," Merlin says, sounding...strange.
"--stand there like an idiot," Arthur snaps, finally striding over to get the jacket himself.
"Wait, you're Merlin? As in Merlin Merlin?" a voice, coming from inside the fucking wooden chest, says. Arthur reaches for his sword and throws Merlin back.
"Who are you?" he says. "Answer me now or I'll cut your throat."
A man steps out slowly, hands raised. "Sorry to cause all the fuss," he says, apologetically. "I'm Peter, and I'm afraid I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. I don't suppose you've seen any of my siblings around?"
"There's more of you?" Arthur asks. Meanwhile, Merlin, the idiot, is leaning forward and shaking the sorcerer's hand.
"Hullo, Peter," Merlin is saying. "Em, have we met before?"
"Dear god, Merlin, this is not the time-" Arthur says. "Also, get away from him!"
Merlin goes red and steps back. Peter the Sorcerer looks amused. "That's not what I meant," Merlin grits out.
"Isn't it? Some man-child wizard has just crawled out of nowhere--"
"Hey," Peter the Sorcerer says, in mildly injured tones.
"--and your first reaction is to make nice? If one of my knights were here, he would be dead in a second," Arthur spits.
"Don't I even get a trial, King Arthur?" Peter the Sorcerer says, but somehow manages to make the honorific sound like an insult.
"Don't count on it," Merlin murmurs, at the same moment Arthur says, loudly, "Prince, actually."

Dare I continue?

(I wonder what real pick-up lines would be like in Camelot. Would they be vague and obscure? Like- "Would you like to chase some fox with me tomorrow night?" "Wouldn't it be rather dark?" "Well, yes, but not too dark, if you know what I mean." "I actually have no idea what you mean.)

Re: Free Prompts

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

DARE YOU? man, i have such <3 for narnia for all the wrong reasons. sorry, lewis. also, peter/arthur, doomed kings OTP ftw.