whynot | COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID

FILE THIS UNDER "THINGS THAT ARE INEVITABLE".

ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.

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IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:

Thank you to

22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333

AAAAAAAAAND GO.

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Claire loves it when Uncle Jacob come to visit, but Jimmy and Amelia don't. Daddy says Uncle Jake is crazy, but how could someone crazy be so funny? "Crazy" is like Jimmy when he became an "angel." That wasn't funny, that was sad, because "Castiel-Jimmy" didn't talk much. Not like Jacob.

When Claire was little, Jacob used to make her stand like at an airport and wave a device around her to make sure she was herself. It was fun. She said "It's like at an airport!" and Jacob blinked and said no, it wasn't like an airport, because he was safe, he could be trusted. Airport security? Don't make him laugh--they don't know what they're protecting anyone against, they're sure as hell not protecting anyone against Real Stuff, and--

and then Amelia dragged Claire away while screeching at Jacob.

Jacob would tell her stories. They were better than Jimmy's stories because Jacob pretended they were real. Jimmy would laugh in the middle of his stories, which gave away they were not real, but when Jacob told stories about aliens he was Very Serious and his voice made it scary. Claire didn't like his voice as much anymore because it reminded her too much of Castiel.

Sometimes the Novaks didn't see Jacob for ages because Jacob was away on trips. Sometimes the Novaks chose not to invite Jacob. One time, Jimmy even lied and told Jacob that they weren't having Christmas.

"Either you're lying or you've been Taken," Jacob said, eyes narrowed as he tried to decide which one was more likely. He took out the airport device and waved it at Jimmy, who rolled his eyes and slammed the door in Jacob's face.

"You lied to Uncle Jacob," Claire accused.

"Sometimes you need to," Jimmy said. "Not you--you should *never* lie. But sometimes, God allows parents to lie to their brother if their brothers are crazy, corrupting forces and they have a child to look after, for heaven's sake!"

Claire frowned. Uncle Jacob was so much more fun than Jimmy.

But this year was different. This year, Jimmy was free from Castiel and appreciated Jacob a lot more, so even though the first holiday after Jimmy's liberation was Father's Day, they invited Uncle Jacob over.

"Don't tell Uncle Jacob about what happened to Daddy, OK?" Amelia said.

"Why not?" Claire asked.

"Because it will just encourage--"

The doorbell rang and Claire ran out of her room to open it before Jimmy.

"Uncle Jacob! Uncle Jacob! Daddy was possessed by an angel named Castiel and he was chained to a comet and he saved the world!"

Jacob looked at Claire, then at Jimmy and Amelia, then back at Claire.

"Angels aren't real," he told her. "It must have been a robots' electromagnetic possession technology. I figure you must have fought it off--the technology is new, so the effects are short-lasting. Especially when it's reaching from the moon."

Claire giggled. Uncle Jacob told the best stories.

ANGELS ARE JUST MAGNETS. DO YOU HEAR THAT, CAS? I AM KIND OF LOVING THAT THIS MAKES MY OTP DEAN/MAGNETS, OR PERHAPS MAGNETS/EVERYTHING. THE ONE TIME DEAN FELL IN LOVE WITH A TRACTOR BEAM. "DAMMIT CAS WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THIS SHIT."

I love Claire's version of the story. :D

Jacob and Jimmy should totally trade saving-the-world stories someday (maybe in an alternate universe in which Jacob isn't dead).

HAHAHAHAHA, YES.

Although now you should add to it with some Cas instead of Jimmy.

<333 OF COURSE JACOB WOULD TAKE CLAIRE ON HIS CRAZY ALIEN-FINDING MISSIONS OR WHATEVER.

"HERE, SWEETIE, HOLD THIS ANTENNA."

"WHAT'S IT FOR, UNCLE JAKE?"

"UMMMM IT IS A MAGIC WAND. LIKE HARRY POTTER HAS."

AND CLAIRE IS JUST LIKE >:( AND JACOB IS LIKE "LOL OK IT'S FOR TALKING TO MARTIANS."

Claire has quite the diplomatic touch with Martians.

HE ALSO TEACHES HER SCIENCE. EVERYTHING CAN BE REDUCED TO ELECTROMAGNETICS.

I'M LIKE CRYING I'M LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS

OH. MY. GOD.

COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID

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"HERE, SWEETIE, HOLD THIS ANTENNA."

Re: "HERE, SWEETIE, HOLD THIS ANTENNA."

Re: "HERE, SWEETIE, HOLD THIS ANTENNA."