COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID

[whynot]

FILE THIS UNDER "THINGS THAT ARE INEVITABLE".



ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.

One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
<center><a href="http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/150485.html"><img src="http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm296/nothereforlong/Untitled.png"> THE ROBOT HEAD SAYS I'M ALMOST OUT OF MINUTES</center></a>

Thank you to 22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333

AAAAAAAAAND GO.

Comments

FIRST PROMPT IS MINE

[vikki.livejournal.com]

I APPROVE OF THIS SO HARD I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY

HOW ABOUT

THAT TIME JACOB TOLD CLAIRE ABOUT THE ROBOT HEAD ON THE MOON

THIS MEME NEEDS TO START WITH ROBOT HEADS AFTER ALL

Re: FIRST PROMPT IS MINE

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

"Uncle Jake, Daddy says you found aliens on the moon!"

Jacob sighed and glared at his brother over Claire's head.

"It wasn't actually me, Claire-bear, and it wasn't actually aliens. They found a robot head."

"Did you talk about it on your radio show? I listen sometimes even though Mommy and Daddy don't like it."

"I talked about it all over the place," he laughed bitterly. "A word to the wise for my favorite niece - don't get into science when you grow up. No more room for genius there."

"I'm going to be a genius when I grow up," Claire said firmly. "So I'll be an artist. There's always room there, right?"

"There's room for you wherever you want."

"Good! Now tell me about the robot head! I wanna draw it for you."

Jimmy was rolling his eyes behind his daughter, so Jacob grinned at the little girl and settled down in front of her with great dignity.

"It's like a human head, but silver all over, and with eyes like the stuff your kaleidoscope is made of..."

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

TRACKING THE COMMENTS TO THIS POST HARDER THAN ANYTHING I'VE EVER FOLLOWED BEFORE. EPIC.

Dean teams up with Jacob to steal the robot head from storage in Area 51, since it can 1up Castiel/bring back Gabriel/heal Sam of bitchface-itis/etc.

\o/

[ridles.livejournal.com]

'bitchface-itis' made me rofl.
+1 internets for you, sir.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Claire loves it when Uncle Jake comes to visit.

[jblankbluth.livejournal.com]

Claire loves it when Uncle Jacob come to visit, but Jimmy and Amelia don't. Daddy says Uncle Jake is crazy, but how could someone crazy be so funny? "Crazy" is like Jimmy when he became an "angel." That wasn't funny, that was sad, because "Castiel-Jimmy" didn't talk much. Not like Jacob.

When Claire was little, Jacob used to make her stand like at an airport and wave a device around her to make sure she was herself. It was fun. She said "It's like at an airport!" and Jacob blinked and said no, it wasn't like an airport, because he was safe, he could be trusted. Airport security? Don't make him laugh--they don't know what they're protecting anyone against, they're sure as hell not protecting anyone against Real Stuff, and--

and then Amelia dragged Claire away while screeching at Jacob.

Jacob would tell her stories. They were better than Jimmy's stories because Jacob pretended they were real. Jimmy would laugh in the middle of his stories, which gave away they were not real, but when Jacob told stories about aliens he was Very Serious and his voice made it scary. Claire didn't like his voice as much anymore because it reminded her too much of Castiel.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Jacob: "Me? I'm investigating this phenomenon."
Dean and Sam: "No, we're investigating this phenomenon."
All: [Mutual glares of cynicism.]

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

OMGYES! I was thinking this the entire time I was watching the movie. Totally writing it!

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

The 4x20 AU where Castiel possessed Jacob instead of Jimmy.

Stonehenge Apocalypse/SPN Story (no title) PG

[kronette.livejournal.com]

http://kronette.livejournal.com/246710.html

Okay, my brain was obviously sleep-deprived and cracked-out as I watched Stonehenge Apocalypse last night – both viewings on Sci-Fi (I refuse to use the new call letters). So, I give you to, gentle readers, the crossover of Jacob Glaser of Stonehenge Apocalypse and Castiel of Supernatural. Because you all thought it, too.

Spoilers: for all episodes of Supernatural up to 4x20, “The Rapture”
Warnings: None.
Summary: This is actually placed before what we saw in Stonehenge.

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

Jacob/Castiel(/Jimmy) - If they all look alike, it's just masturbation, isn't it?

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Jimmy/Jacob twincestuous backstory, OKAY.

"But you left."
"You didn't try to make me stay."

[hrtslkths.livejournal.com]

I'm so happy you went there.

[jblankbluth.livejournal.com]

Castiel had blessed Jacob with the ability to See the Truth. They meet again in Heaven.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Jacob and Castiel. Jacob is FURIOUS that this angel -- is it really an angel? it could be the telepathic lizard people from Atlantis -- ANYWAY, he wants this angel out of Jimmy's body and he's willing to try anything.

[jblankbluth.livejournal.com]

do you want jacob and jimmy to know each other before hand

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

When Amelia and Claire went into hiding after 4.20, they went to Jimmy's brother Jacob. After all, if she can deal with demons and angels and all that wackness, aliens robot heads on the Moon are child's play.

FILLED: Epilogue/Prologue; PG; Novaks + Jacob

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Maybe once upon a time Jacob had a guest bedroom, but it's completely covered over now by empty pizza boxes, back issues of Paranoia, dirty laundry, and what have you, Amelia doesn't even know. She and Claire sit in his kitchen with their glasses of juice while Jacob crashes around the room, 'cleaning' it.

It's not that Amelia doesn't like Jacob, but she was glad that he was one of the family members Jacob never insisted on visiting, and especially not after he appeared on TV yelling about the robots on the moon. They only ever saw him rarely on the few occasions they did Thanksgiving with Jimmy's folks instead of hers, Jimmy and Jacob keeping up a constant exchange of abuse entertaining enough for everyone to roll their eyes affectionately at, for everyone to ignore. But before the brothers could settle into any sort of real affection, Jimmy would always pull back. ("We weren't really close," Jimmy had explained, and Amelia just said, "Okay," and didn't pry.)

"It smells," Claire says, wrinkling her nose.

"Be polite, Claire," Amelia says. "Uncle Jake is helping us."

"When do we go home?" Claire wants to know, and Amelia rubs her forehead and looks away.

"Uh, Amelia?"

Amelia closes her eyes and counts to three while telling herself it's not Jimmy before lifting her head and meeting Jacob's gaze. It's like she keeps running into these carbon copies, these mockeries with the same blue eyes and curve of mouth telling her, "Nice attempt; try again!"

"The room's ready," says Jacob.

"Thanks, Jacob." She looks at her daughter. "Claire, you ready for bed?"

Claire says, "No," but within the half hour, she is fast asleep, and Amelia is still awake in Jacob's kitchen, nursing a beer. Jacob across the table has beer in hand too, and he is asking, "What happened?"

She has run through a few lies in her head on the way to Maine, but all of them still sound ridiculous, so she hides behind, "I'm not ready to talk about it yet," and when Jacob asks where his brother is, Amelia just says, "He's gone." And Jacob keeps prodding, keeps poking with a curiosity and fervency insensitive to raw wounds, until finally Amelia bursts out, "I'm going to bed. I'm really tired. Thanks for the beer, Jimmy."

"If you remember anything at all about Jimmy," Jacob is still insisting. "I know people, okay? They can help us find him."

And Amelia finds herself shaking her head, cuts herself off before she can say, "You can't." Instead she says, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night," says Jacob, and the rasp in his voice is so unlike Jimmy, and reminds her of the angel, the power of heaven scraping Jimmy's human tenor to the earth.

"Good night," says Amelia, shuffling out the kitchen, "and thank you." And resists the urge to look back at what she knows isn't there.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Sam and Jacob have actually known each other for a really long time —on the internet. They belong to the same conspiracy theory chat room/forum and only know each other by their online handles, until one day the Winchesters decide to investigate some really intense electromagnetic activity in New England....

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

First of all- HAH! They're finally getting out of the US/Canada!
Second of all, this sounds awesome.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

I KNOW THIS IS ON THE EXAMPLES BUT SERIOUSLY, THINGS THAT NEED TO HAPPEN:

Jacob is the Ghostfacers' new intern.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

"Dude, you have so much shit! Guys, look, he's got so much science-y stuff in here!"

"So...do I get the job?"

"Oh yeah, man - I mean, yeaaah, I think we can fit you in somewhere. You can be our official Conspiracy Theorist Intern. Or something. So, if you work for us, we get to use your machines, right?"

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

I blame lassiterfics.

CASTIEL/JIMMY/JACOB/FUTURE!CAS(/MISHA)

Make it happen. Somehow. O_O

*ded*

[syzygyone.livejournal.com]

QUINTUPLESEX?!?!?!

*overloaded, exploded, head landed on moon*

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

Nobody believed Jacob that it was a Robot Head, except Castiel.

FILLED Believing is Seeing

[kronette.livejournal.com]

Jacob felt a mix of annoyance and resignation as he taped up the last of his clippings: the shot of the robot head on the moon. It had been the tipping point in his career; where his outlandish theories stopped being 'fascinating' and 'intriguing' and became 'crackpot' and 'insane'. He tore off the sticky note and stuck it on the clipping, pointing to the clearly robot head in red pen.

He stared to clear the debris of paper clippings and thumbtacks from the switchboard that still needed hooking up, when he thought he heard a noise behind him. He glanced around, but the third stair squeaked; he'd know if Joseph had come down the steps. "Hey, are you going to help me hook this shit up or not?" he yelled upstairs.

"Yeah, yeah," came the reply, and then Joseph descended the stairs, the third one sending up such a racket that Joseph stopped and said, "Really?"

"Just get your ass down here."

The two old "colleagues" connected the broadcast equipment, the switchboard, and assorted other electronics that Jacob needed to start his radio show.

"Are you really sure about this? I mean, it's a big drop from academic genius to radio call-in freak." Joseph didn't mean it harshly; he was just stating the facts.

Jacob shrugged. "Not like I have a huge choice, here. The Uni revoked my tenure and I can't even get a job teaching at the community college. No one in academia will touch me."

"I believe you, Jacob Glaser."

The third voice in the room had both men jumping and whirling around. "What the fuck?" hissed Joseph. "Where did you come from?"

Castiel looked between the two men, keeping his distance. "My name is Castiel. I'm an angel of the Lord. And I believe that is a robot head on the moon."

Jacob glared and punched Joseph in the arm. "You asshole. Did you put this guy up to it?"

"Hell, no," Joseph murmured, his eyes wide. "Did you say angel?"

"I did," Castiel confirmed. "I wanted to assure you that your theories are not in vain."

Jacob stepped closer, scrutinizing Castiel. "The make-up or mask is amazing. How much money did you blow on this prank, Joseph? A couple thou?"

"I didn't do anything," Joseph insisted sharply. "I can't believe - are you really an angel? You exist? God exists?"

Eyes narrowed as his anger flared, Castiel caused the monitor behind them to burst into sparks, lighting the room enough to highlight his wings. He was not impressed with both men's blasphemous explicatives at their unveiling.

"You should not take the Lord's name in vain," he chided the, and Joseph looked apologetic.

"You're absolutely right. That was uncalled for. I'm sorry."

"Dude, are you low on brain juice? My equipment just fried!" Jacob wailed, though he kept an eye on Castiel. "Can you fix it?"

"I regret that I cannot fix mechanical things; only organic." He was sidetracked again. "I only came to tell you that your theory is correct, Jacob. Have faith. It was a robot head."

the end

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

CASTIEL AND JACOB LOOK FOR GOD IN THE LOST CITY OF ATLANTIS.

FILLED: S(G)A

[kronette.livejournal.com]

“Where are we, again?” Jacob asked as he swung his flashlight around the abandoned place.

Castiel looked annoyed even without the benefit of additional light. “Atlantis.”

Jacob chuckled. “Yeah, Atlantis. And you just,” he waved his hands dramatically, “Poofed us here. Because you’re an angel.”

“I teleported us here,” Castiel explained again. “I don’t ‘poof’.”

“Yeah, you don’t sparkle, either,” Jacob muttered as he swung the light down the corridors. He stopped to peer closer at one of the walls. “This metal doesn’t look like any composition I’ve ever seen.” He fumbled with the equipment he’d brought and finally retrieved some blinking thing.

Castiel was bored with watching Jacob. It had seemed a good idea at the time, to bring someone along on his quest to find God, especially since Atlantis was theoretically “lost”. Castiel figured it couldn’t hurt to appease Jimmy’s long lost twin (though even after repeated attempts, Jacob refused to believe that, even while staring at a duplicate of his face) of the rightness of his theories. Atlantis wasn’t lost, it was just moved to another galaxy. And it wasn’t created by aliens; it was created by the predecessors on Earth, who just happen to have evolved into the Ancients. And lived in the Pegasus galaxy until they ascended to a higher plane of existence.

Not that Jacob had believed him.

Not until they’d appeared in Atlantis and Jacob had been over the main console area with the stargate. Now, Jacob was animated and bouncy and just plain annoying.

Castiel sighed. “God is not here. I need to return to my search.”

“You can’t bring me all the way here and not let me stay at least a day,” Jacob whined, and Castiel winced. His voice never got that high, or that needy.

“This is the greatest scientific find of the last two millennia. This is so far beyond advanced that it’s blowing my mind,” Jacob continued to babble. “This metal isn’t even comprised of elements from our periodic chart – do you comprehend what that means?”

“I’m an angel of the Lord; the metals of which you speak are within the realm of humanity’s possibility,” intoned dryly, hoping Jacob would lose interest.

“You’re telling me these haven’t been discovered yet? Holy shit!” To Castiel’s dismay, Jacob walked further into the city, leaving him in the gateroom.

Castiel glares after him. “Perhaps I should leave him here after all. The team from Cheyenne mountain is due here in three days. He’ll have more fun with the scientists than with me, anyway,” Castiel soothes Jimmy, who just getting used to having his brother around again.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

lol, funniest angel in the garrison.

The robot head was Uriel's idea of a joke.

[claudiapriscus.livejournal.com]

<3

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Joseph/Castiel. Joseph dug up some ancient amulet thingmajigger that summons an angel and it is Castiel, who has a soft spot for dreamwalking around Joseph's head. They have deep conversations about earrrrrth and historyyyyyy and humanityyyyyy and Goddddddd and everything, gosh! It is some pretty deep shit.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Bobby and Jacob hunt something that Bobby is convinced is a harpy and Jacob is convinced are the telepathic bird people of Atlantis.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Estranged brothers Jimmy and Jacob finally meet again after years of not speaking to each other. Twincest ensues.

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

I support more twincest fics in the world.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Joseph is obvs possessed by a demon. Maybe it's Meg?

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

Dean listens to Jacob's radio show after Lisa and Ben are asleep because he sounds like Castiel.

[ratherastory.livejournal.com]

Aww... that would totally make me cry. :(

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

Dean and Castiel are on a hunt when they meet Jacob as the man tries to follow his research. Hijinks ensues as they find out that Jimmy is Jacob's twin brother.

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

Jacob is a hunter that believes in everything. Dean just thinks he looks like Jimmy and is crazy as hell.

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

(And the lulzier version that led to the the more srs prompt up a bit)

In his never-ending quest to get Cas laid, Dean has him call a 900 number for professional phonesex help, but calls Jacob's show instead... ??? PROFIT!

[hrtslkths.livejournal.com]

I think when the flow chart is "TWO MISHAS > ??? > PROFIT" the ??? is always sex.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

JACOB IN 5x04VERSE. FUTURE!CAS IS AMUSED. DEAN IS... ANGRILY INTRIGUED.

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

OMG OMG JACOB WOULD TOTALLY BE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE CROATOAN VIRUS REALLY IS.

Is it weird that I almost always pronounce croatoan as 'croation'?