![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID
FILE THIS UNDER "THINGS THAT ARE INEVITABLE".
ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.
One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
Thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333
AAAAAAAAAND GO.
ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.
One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
Thank you to
22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333AAAAAAAAAND GO.
no subject
no subject
Otherwise, he is still alive, and his ring is a horcrux (man I really need to work on my ring-is-a-horcrux fic)
FILLED 1/2
To be entirely honest, Heaven being a bar was even crazier than each goddamn theory he has ever formulated or than each goddamn thing that ever came up on his radio show’s entire run.
Which doesn’t change that, well, after dying in a fucking nuclear blast to save an ungrateful world from a bunch of fanatics, apparently Jacob went to Heaven and that Heaven is a bar.
“Wrong, my friend,” the bartender says when Jacob asks, having found himself just there without even someone to show him around, “this is one Heaven. Well, in theory it’s mine, but it’s kind of different from most. And I kind of wanted you here, at the beginning.”
“Why, you know who I am?” Jacob asks, dumbfounded, and the guy just smiles, twirls around as he pours him a generous quantity of beer, showing off a mullet which is seriously awesome, if you ask Jacob, and sets the beer in front of him.
“Of course, man! You’re Jacob Glaser and I always used to listen to your program, before I, you know, died. After, too, to be honest. I crack the radio frequencies.”
“You what?”
“I crack ‘em,” the guy smiles proudly. “They didn’t call me Dr. Badass for no reason.”
“And you listened to my program because…?”
“Dude, I always thought you were right when you said there was a robot head on the moon. I totally checked after, you know, hacking some satellites and stuff, and it totally was still there. They covered it up! It’s just on the face no one sees. The fuckers.”
Jacob takes a good drink of his beer and at that, he starts to think that Heaven might actually be not so bad.
Also, someone finally getting his theory entirely and actually taking the time to verify it? It’s making him feel so grateful he could fucking cry.
“I can’t believe someone got it right.”
“Dude, seriously, aliens? They so covered it up! And you were robbed, I dare say.”
“Oh, yes, finally!” Jacob almost shouts before raising a fist to the sky. At least he found someone agreeing with him; if he’s dead, well, it’s a detail.
“So,” he asks as Dr. Badass there fills up some glass for himself, “how should I call you, my new, fantastic friend?”
“Oh, fantastic’s too much, but I’m pretty much okay with badass. I’m Ash, by the way, and I was wondering if you actually would want to stick around for a while. ‘Cause I might have somethin’ you’d like to do on my hands here.”
“I didn’t exactly have programs for this evening,” Jacob says and smiles as he rises up his glass.
“To robot heads on the moon, then!” Ash proclaims before toasting, and Jacob toasts back.
“Fuck, yes.”
Also, the beer tastes fucking great.
--
“Waitwaitwait. You are cracking Enochian? Well, fine, I studied that so I get speaking it, but cracking it?”
“Yeah, I’ve been doin’ that kind of since I ended up here. They never noticed it, but then again, angels not only are dicks, but computers? Ff, they suck so much at that. Which, on the other side, is awesome for me because I get to know everything that’s goin’ on around here, which is why I knew you were bound to appear around here somewhere. Then I just, y’know, used some skill.”
“Woah,” Jacob whistles as his eyes can’t apparently find the force of will to move from the laptop’s screen, “I can’t believe you’re hackering Heaven.”
“Oh, it’s not like I had better things to do in my free time. Now, wanna help me with this little plan of mine?”
“This little plan of yours being jerking the angels around?”
“That, too. The basic idea was, you know, avoiding another Apocalypse. ‘Cause you know, now they are trying that and…”
“Oh, fuck this, I didn’t save the world just to get someone else to destroy it. What’s the plan, so?” Jacob asks, taking a chair and pushing himself next to Ash’s.
FILLED 2/2
Jacob lets himself smirk before holding out a hand.
“Deal. As long as when this is over you can get me to transmit on Earth so that I can fucking prove them that it was a robot head.”
“Man, that’s on.”
Before starting, though, they have another beer. This time, they toast about aliens not being on the moon, but before drinking, Jacob has to ask the question.
“Sorry if I ask, but why’s your hair like that?”
Ash smirks and takes a quite large swig before leaning over the counter, right up in Jacob’s personal space, and he doesn’t even really mind.
“Business in the front, party in the back, dude. It’s the badass way to go.”
“I don’t doubt that,” Jacob agrees, and gets down to his beer.
“Also,” Ash adds then, “I was thinking, while I was alone I could only do so much, but since now we’re two, after we’re done with this pesky matter and we prove everyone that it was a robot head, we could, y’know, try to… aim for grandeur.”
“Grandeur? I like that. What’s the idea?”
“Oh, finding that small loophole to connect everyone’s Heaven with all the others. I’m pretty sure that it’s something that has to do with electromagnetism, but that wasn’t exactly my field, if…”
Jacob feels his lips slowly curving up in a smile that he thinks must be quite evil. Well, the good kind of evil.
“You need electromagnetism, I can totally deal with that. It’s exactly my kind of thing, so to speak.”
“Dude, awesome. That’d be just epic, and y’know, maybe we could also to go somewhere. I mean, other people’s Heavens could be interesting.”
“Maybe someone who lived in Atlantis? We could totally prove it existed.”
“Man, just, you’re the best thing ever happened to appear inside this bar. That’d be like the biggest thing ever… after the robot head, maybe.”
“And we could communicate with people down there, too?”
At that, Ash’s smile becomes downright devilish.
“That might be a little trickier, but I’m pretty sure that if we start pulling shit off then we can do anything, can’t we?”
“Oh,” Jacob says, smiling back and feeling very confident, “we fucking can. So what now, do we crack some Enochian or not?”
“Dude. You bet we do.”
(And they did, and if the whole rebellion thing totally worked because half of the angels thought it was Castiel’s voice hacking angel radio, and that if he was doing that well, then their Father was obviously on Castiel’s side and they were wrong in following Michael and Zachariah and everyone else, Ash had totally known that beforehand too; and Jacob, having been informed of the situation just before the first hacking, found that an extremely interesting and amusing coincidence and he totally had even more fun trying to keep his voice one octave lower.
Castiel, when realizing that just a while later, after he had found a garrison ready to side with him and the Winchesters, which obviously made caging Lucifer back a piece of pie, was confused but indeed very grateful. As everyone else involved in the whole Apocalypse deal.
Also, in the end Jacob never moved to his own Heaven but hey, he was hackering stuff with Ash all the time and the beer was excellent, why the fuck should he have wanted to move anyway?)
Re: FILLED 2/2