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COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID
FILE THIS UNDER "THINGS THAT ARE INEVITABLE".
ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.
One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
Thank you to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333
AAAAAAAAAND GO.
ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.
One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
Thank you to
22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333AAAAAAAAAND GO.
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"You know that alien on the moon theory of yours..."
"IT. WAS. A. ROBOT. HEAD. Next caller."
"Are you sure it was a robot head? Could it have been a monkey skull?"
"Next caller."
"What's wrong with it being a monkey skull? Are you saying my theory of Cercopithecus dryas on the moon is less valid than your claim of a robot head?"
"Next caller."
"Now you're just being rude."
"Next caller."
(this author seriously. needs. sleep.)
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GABE WOULD PULL THAT SHIT. YAY CRAZY ANGEL!
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-----
“You’re on the air.”
“Hi! First time caller, first time listener. Well, this time around. Tuesday is getting old. I’ve watched about everything that’s on at least twice. Thought it was time to switch on the old radio, you know?”
“Uh-huh… So, what’s on your mind this evening?”
“About that robot head on the moon.”
“What about it?”
“Would you believe it was all a practical joke that got out of hand?”
“I believe it’s a government cover-up. They’ve been taking robots on all of the NASA expeditions and leaving them to work—”
“No, no, no. I’ve been to the moon. It’s just a big rock. Boring. Believe me, if there was a secret base up there, I’d be the first in line to—”
“Sorry, I have to cut you off, I’ve got another caller.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“Hey, do you remember Y2K? There was this scientist who started the whole thing to make money. He knew a few zeros wasn’t actually going to end civilization.”
“Y2K was a government conspiracy.”
“No, it was some dude who wanted to make money by selling software updates. Pay attention. But he got what was coming to him. He disappeared when his private jet went through the Bermuda Triangle.”
“Ah, the Triangle. There are lots of theories about that. Electromagnetic fields, lost technology, even UFOs.”
“Would you believe that most of the people who disappear there are douchebags? Sure, you’ve got the normal sinkings and crashes, but everyone else who never came out was up to something.”
“There’s been nothing to suggest—”
“It’s a great hunting ground if you’re feeling lazy. Just chill in Bermuda or the Bahamas, and wait for someone with skeletons in their closet. The whole thing is sort of my fault, really.”
“I’m going to have to move on to the next caller.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“So I’m watching these two guys who hunt ghosts. What do you think about ghosts?”
“There is convincing electromagnetic evidence. However, there’s nothing to support that the energy is deceased human beings. It could easily be some other phenomenon. There are all sorts of energy fluctuations we’re not aware of, even power lines beneath the earth.”
“Like the thing under Stonehenge.”
“Exactly. How did you know about that?”
“I’ve been around a while. Hey, did you know that’s what Dad used when we nuked the dinosaurs? Obviously Stonehenge wasn’t there, but the power lines still work the same. Lots of volcanoes.”
“It’s time for me to take another call.”
“Yeah, yeah. Hey, you should see my electromagnetic evidence.”
“Oh? Have you done field studies?”
“No. But I blow light bulbs up a lot.”
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“Hey, how ya doing?”
“Why do you keep calling me?”
“I’m here to tell you that you have a long lost twin brother who you were separated at birth from.”
“No, I mean in general.”
“Because conspiracy theorists are the best to fuck around with.”
“Very funny. Because we’ll believe anything?”
“Because you don’t believe anything. I’m telling you shit that’s completely true, but you still don’t believe it. Just like that yahoo who I warned about his codependency. But did he listen? Nooooooo. And now he’s on his dark road of revenge all over again. Makes me want to be done with the lot of you.”
“Bye, then.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“So what do you think of that power surge in Maryland?”
“That one is a little baffling, I must admit.”
“Government cover-up?”
“Of course. But I don’t think the government caused it. It was probably a natural phenomenon that we can’t explain.”
“Or it was Lucifer rising from Hell.”
“You’re religious, then?”
“Don’t sound so disappointed. You might say religion is hardwired for me. Also, I’m here to tell you that the Apocalypse has started and to prepare yourself for the End of Days. Stock up on toilet paper.”
“Look, this is a scientific program. I’ve humored you in the past, but you need to keep your calls on topic.”
“Geez. Don’t shoot the messenger. Hey, how’s this for scientific? I can tell you the wavelength that angels vibrate at.”
“Well?”
“Nope. Changed my mind.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“I had fun with you this weekend.”
“I wasn’t on this weekend.”
“Not technically. But you know, I thought it would be fun to trap Castiel with you in your show. Since it’s the radio and all, it doesn’t have dimensions, so it was much harder for him to get out.”
“You know, I’ve been getting complaints about you from other callers.”
“You don’t say? Wanna tell me their names?”
“No.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“So. I faked my death last month.”
“Aren’t you worried about blowing your cover?”
“Ha, that’s a good one. What with your vast audience and all. But nah, it’s done now. My brother is all locked away again. I wonder if he gets reception down there.”
“Your brother?”
“Lucifer. Keep up.”
“Right. Sure.”
“Buddy, you’re starting to annoy me just the tiniest bit. You scientists won’t consider anything religious, while the religious people won’t consider anything scientific. They’re not mutually exclusive, y’know. Dad did know what he was doing. You know what I think?”
“What?”
“I think you need to see the Creation Machine in action.”
-----
“You’re on the air.”
“You seem a little more paranoid than usual today. Have a nice dream last night?”
“That was not a dream.”
“Well, it wasn’t real. Indonesia is still here, the pyramids are still here— Call it…one of my little scenarios. Like virtual reality.”
“I died.”
“Suuuure you did.”
“Who are you?”
“If you were paying attention, you would have figured it out by now. But I’m bored with this. Though I did send you little present.”
“What?”
“Well, you’ll know when you get it, won’t you?”
-----
A week later, there was a plain brown box sitting on Jacob’s doorstep.
It had no return address, but seemed to be postmarked from half the countries in the world. There was barely any unstamped paper showing.
He opened the box carefully and peered in.
Nestled inside, still covered with moon dust, was the robot head.
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