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I'm going to try something. It requires your participation! And perhaps some sparkly text:

~*ROUND-ROBIN COMMENTFIC PARTY!!*~

That's right! Right here on this post. Here's how it works, I think:

1. Anyone can reply to this post with commentfic. Anyone can start, and anyone can continue. That's right, even you!

2. Any genre, any ship, any fandom. Crossovers okay!

3. One commentfic thread is allowed to branch off into several commentfic threads. TITS, you can click 'Reply to This' at any point in an established thread.

4. You can comment with just one sentence, or you can go up to the character limit. If you exceed the character limit, post two comments. Whatever.

5. Threads will go for as long as they have to.

6. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.

These guidelines will be added to/modified as the situation arises. Questions/concerns? Go!

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(I am SO EFFING IN.

... as soon as I'm done being high on numbing shots and giggling at my siblings a lot. I shall return!)

THIS IS GENIUS. Although I will probably wait around for someone to start, because the only thing I can think of right now is Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts.

I don't know Gossip Girl, but I'm sure other ppl will so I say go for it!

The streets of Camelot are stuffed with a volume of revelers unseen since the last time the Narnians were here. When Arthur lifted the ban on magic, his people embraced it as he has. The Narnians are well-loved in Camelot, what with their habit of bringing a retinue of talking animals, which amused the children, and party-mongering fauns, which amused everyone else. Now they are back, and there are rumors of a new treaty to increase Camelot's prosperity, and a festival in the square later this week where the tree-women will dance their wild dances.

From a high window of the castle, two people watch the procession, unsmiling.

"Are you sure?" Merlin asks, though he knows better than to doubt Morgana by now. There's just a part of him - a large part - that doesn't want to believe her on this.

"I saw them in my dream," she says.

I don't know enough Gossip Girl to write it myself, but that would be awesome. Do it!

Ahahaha, I just finished writing it, BUT APPARENTLY IT EXCEEDED THE CHARACTER LIMIT. FAIL, SELF.

Post it in two parts! *urges on* Come on come on!

I added to the rules* to account for this. ;)

* The term 'rules' is to be used very loosely here.

A Brief History On How The Hell This Came To Be, Complete With A Terrible Manip and Flaily Comments

When Blair got on the Hogwarts Express the first thing she did was try to find Nate.

She kept an eye out for Serena too, of course, but Serena could take care of herself. Poor Nate could be wandering about, hopelessly lost, or, even worse, sequestered with idiotic Muggleborns. It wasn't his fault his big blue eyes were too trustworthy and his face seemed to say, "I am alone and confused, please take me into your fold and feed me." It attracted exactly the wrong sort of crowd. No, she'd find him, and then they'd seek out the the best compartment. Blair would even give him half her watercress sandwich, if he wanted.

It came as something of an anti-climax when she finally found him already sitting in the best compartment, next to Serena, of all people - who apparently hadn't even bothered to look for Blair, her best friend - and laughing at something that horrible Bass boy said.

Blair yanked the compartment door open so hard the glass rattled ominously. (She could practically hear the beginning of her mother's lecture about Tantrums In Public.) Serena didn't even have the decency to look guilty, instead smiling warmly and giving Blair a little wave.

"Where have you been?" Blair said in what the hoped was a cold and imposing manner.

Serena shrugged. (Shrugged!) "I was going to look for you, but then I ran into Nate, and Chuck invited us to sit in his compartment-"

"His compartment?" Blair said shrilly. Surely he couldn't have reserved the compartment, Blair herself had tried several weeks previous.

"Something wrong, Waldorf?" Chuck said coolly.

Blair was about to snap back, but Serena blithely continued, as if neither of them had said anything. "Anyway, I figured you'd find us eventually. Which you did!" Serena flashed her another warm grin and Blair's annoyance began to dissipate. There was no sense in being upset with Serena, it was just the way she was. Flitting from person to person, thought to thought, like a very large, golden butterfly.

Besides, at that moment Nate smiled up at her and said, "I'm glad you're here, Blair." Blair felt her chest clench up and her stomach flutter weakly. Nate was here, and he was fine, and that was what the wanted. She could handle other people taking care of him, she could. In fact, she appreciated it.

"Me too," she said simply, and sat down between him and Serena. There was more room on Chuck's side of the compartment, but Blair would rather be sorted into Hufflepuff than sit next to him. Well, maybe not Hufflepuff. Slytherin, then. Blair laced her fingers through Nate's and gave Chuck a smug smile.

He made a big show of rolling his eyes, but Blair saw the corner of his mouth twitch slightly. Ha, she thought, Waldorf: 1, Bass: 0.

Satisfied by her minor victory, Blair took the opportunity to direct the silence in the compartment towards something stimulating. "So," she said brightly, "What House do you think you'll be sorted into, Nate?" Nate opened his mouth to respond, but Blair surged on. "I'll be a Ravenclaw, of course. Everyone know it's the best House."

Chuck snorted.

"What, Charles?" Blair said icily, trying to imitate the voice her mother used when a model was being especially imbecilic.

"Ravenclaw?" Chuck replied scathingly, "Please, everyone knows Slytherin's the only House with any real merit. Ravenclaws are all insufferable know-it-alls."

"Besides," he added, almost as an afterthought, "Ravenclaw is so tragically plebeian. Not as much as Hufflepuff, I suppose, but it's not like that's some great achievement."

The compartment was deathly quiet. "Chuck-" Serena began, her voice a little sharper than usual, but Blair ignored her.

"My mother," she said slowly, "was a Ravenclaw."

Chuck's expression remained derisive, and as Serena, frantically trying to calm the mounting tension, blurt out, "My mother went to Beuxbatons!," he drawled, "Exactly my point."

Blair bristled dangerously, and ignoring Nate tugging at her hand and Serena babbling about how nice France was at this time of year, said, "Well, the only thing Slytherin's good for is grooming dark wizards. You're father would know something about that, wouldn't he, Chuck? As for your mother, well, hard to say what with her being DEAD-"

"At least my father didn't abandon me and run off to France with a man-"

"My FATHER-"

"Stop."

Blair and Chuck stopped sniping at each other and looked at Nate in shock. Nate never raised his voice. His face was pale, almost ashen, and he had his arms wrapped around his knees, holding himself in tightly. Belatedly, Blair realized he must have yanked out of her hold at some point; she hadn't even noticed. And oh God, how could she have been so stupid, everyone knew about Nate's father and the Dark Lord. What had she been thinking?

"Oh Nate, I'm so sorr-" she began, but before she could even finishing saying, 'Sorry', Chuck cut in.

"Forget it, let's talk about something else. How's Puddlemere United doing this year, Nathaniel?" Nate flashed Chuck a grateful smile and began talking animatedly.

Blair seethed (a little voice pointed out that she had wanted to get Nate to cheer up, and Chuck had certainly done so, but she ignored it). Why couldn't Chuck just leave them alone? Nate and Serena were hers, he could bloody well find someone else to take care of, no one stole Blair Waldorf's people without a fight. Chuck shot her a glance, looking quickly at Nate and then back at her again, as if to say, Leave it. Blair glared, but nodded.

Fine, a temporary ceasefire for Nate's sake, she could do that. Blair was excellent at being the Bigger Person.

SORRY FOR THE 394230940 EDITS

Edited 2009-08-04 18:48 (UTC)

I DO NOT PROMISE QUALITY

http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/105272.html?thread=1814840#t1814840
http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/105272.html?thread=1815096#t1815096

♥!

"Fuck me," Chris declared, and everyone else uttered similar sentiments. He looked behind him: all right, there was the wardrobe, there were all those fur coats. He looked in front of him: winter forest. Chris looked behind him again, just to make sure. Wardrobe. Coats. Yeah, all there.

And snow.

"This is some crazy global warming shit," said Anwar. Then he added, "Ow! What was that for?!" because Jal smacked him.

"You're a liar!" Jal accused. "You told us Cass was just pilled up! You wanker, you apologize to her right now!"

"'S'alright, Jal," said Cassie, smiling at Anwar with self-satisfied sweetness. "Some people just don't know when to stop pretending."

Chris cut in, "Are you sure we're not high?"

Jal gave him one of her Looks. "Only you would ask that question."

I THINK THE QUALITY IS FABULOUS

I would join in, but as mentioned, I do not know Gossip Girl! It is TRAGIC.

One week after the train crash, Edmund sits down across from Susan at the kitchen table and slides two tickets across to her.

"The Marigold. She crosses from Dover to France in three days. The funeral's over, we can sell the house from abroad. I'm going to be on it. You should come with me."

"Traveling won't fix anything, Edmund," Susan says, and her red lipstick is like a scar across her face. He can't think of the last time he saw her without her makeup on. "There's no way to forget, and we aren't ever going to travel far enough."

"But wherever we go won't be here, with all the memories," Edmund says. "That's the important part. You haven't slept in days, Susan. Come with me."

"I'll think about it," she says, and her heels click on the wood as she heads up the stairs. Edmund doesn't move, just closes his eyes and leans back.

I now wish I knew Skins so badly OMG.

"Merlin," Arthur says. "What is this?"

'This' turns out to be a strange animal, sitting on Arthur's bed and looking around as if lost. It is gripping a bone tightly in both paws, and its head is almost completely covered, worryingly, by what looks like another animal's skull.

"Yes, Merlin, I can see that," Arthur says, rolling his eyes, when Merlin tells him what it is. "What's it called? I've never seen anything like it."

"If I knew what it was called," Merlin says, "don't you think I would've mentioned that?"

"You're useless," Arthur says, rolling his eyes. "Take its helmet off so we can see its face."

"Why can't you do it?" Merlin demands.

Arthur gives him a look.

Manservant. Right.

Merlin approaches the animal, carefully, and puts out a hand to touch the skull. The animal hits him over the fingers with its bone, which hurts, and then bursts into tears.

Merlin and Arthur stare at it.

"I think maybe we should just ask Gaius," Merlin says.

-
"What you have just described to me," Gaius says, giving Merlin a very strange look, "is a Cubone."

"Great," Merlin says. "What do we do with it?"

"Well, I think we consider how in the world you could have seen one," Gaius says. "It is a creature of legend. Cubone do not exist."

"Right," Merlin says. "Well, it might not exist, but it's here. In the castle."

Gaius raises an eyebrow, and then there's a knock on the door and Morgana enters, carrying what looks like a fox cub in her arms.

"I'm sorry," she says, keeping her voice low. "I think it's been attacked. I don't know whether you can treat it, but..."

"Pix," the fox calls, weakly, and Merlin suddenly realises that he has never seen a fox with six tails before.

Edited 2009-08-04 20:48 (UTC)

(I have no idea if I'm going to be able to do this justice.)

Edmund's on the deck looking back at the crowd on the docks, a'flutter with flags and handkerchiefs, the people being left behind waving goodbye to the people going ahead.

There might be a white handkerchief for him back on the docks, from a sister whose mask has now succeeded in shutting even him out, the one who understood her the best. But he doubts it.

He's in Morocco, six months later, when the letter reaches him. It's covered in stamps and writing from dozens of postmasters who had sent the letter on, as if it were a faithful dog always two cities behind.

I'm not in Merlin fandom, but I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

(eeeeee people being left behind waving goodbye to the people going ahead)

He opens it in the sun, sitting on the veranda of a hotel with the heat soaking into his skin, and Susan's clear elegant handwriting feels a little like home. He can almost pretend he's just a short boat ride from Peter and Lucy and Susan.

Edmund, the letter reads, I don't know when this will catch up with you. The letter too feels familiar, a little bit scolding and a little bit hopeful, the type of letters she wrote to him while he was in university, and before that when he was off in foreign courts, trying to wrangle a lower tax on their imports or access to someone's harbors. Mostly, though, it feels like meaningless chatter, as if she had begun and then not known what to say. At the end she writes, You were right. We've only got each other left now. I've sold the house and moved into a flat in London. It feels strange and quiet all by myself, and I think if you came and said let's go to Paris I would say yes this time. I hope you're enjoying yourself. Affectionately, Susan.

It's the first time Susan has sounded like Susan to him in years, and within an hour he's checked out of the hotel and booked passage to England.

It gets colder as he moves north. He dreams too much to sleep well.

Whoops, had Arthur rolling his eyes twice in rapid succession there.

To

lassiterfics: I think this idea is brilliant, and I very much hope it takes off. Thank you for creating the entry!

(I SWEAR THIS IS NOT MY FAULT, THE FLYING PANDAS MADE ME DO IT.)

The fact of the matter is, Polly really isn't sure how she managed to assemble her squad, and a little bit uncertain of the details on how she let Mal join, and still a little queasy about the possibility of Tonker burning down headquarters, and worries that one day an angel will strike her dead for making Wazzer get moving and stop praying, but in the end no matter how much she complains, she really likes them.

They make for a good team, and she's proud of them, and unlike some people (she's not pointing any elbows, but a certain coffee-crazed second-in-command could stand to listen) she doesn't mind letting them know.

She is especially indulgent with her compliments on nights like tonight, when their meals for the next two months are guaranteed even after everyone is paid off. (Who worries about lodging? The foreclosure crisis has made things much too easy on them.)

Really, though, it only takes one small incident to snap her entire good mood.

"Mal, I swear, are you spending all your money on exotic coffee again?" she snaps, and Mal shifts and looks guilty and tries to hide the bag behind her back.

"No," Mal says. "Of course not!"

Polly would go visit Shufti, but she is fairly certain Shufti brought a guest home tonight, and she would go entertain herself with Wazzer, but Wazzer is praying again and Polly really doesn't want to encourage death-by-angel more than she already has, and she would - okay, no, she'd never really consider hanging out with Tonks and Lofty at night, because fire would be involved.

Which leaves her Mal, who is cranky because Polly's being commanding, enigmatic as always, and dressed in black again.

Maybe she should just hibernate in her room for a while.

Susan meets him at the harbor, though it feels to Edmund like he is the one meeting her. He's the one who cranes his neck to spot her over the heads of the milling crowd, and he's the one who circles the platform looking this way and that. When he finally finds her, she is standing by the exit with an air of straight-backed patience, as if waiting to be found. Her make-up is immaculate and her shoes are sensible, and her face lights up with a smile when she sees her brother.

"How was France?" she asks.

Edmund shrugs. "I didn't stay long."

"Of course," she says. "How very like a Pevensie."

+

The flat is small but tidy, and smells oppressively of jasmine and fag ends. (Edmund will learn that Susan sprays the place liberally with perfume to cover the smell of her cigarettes.) They celebrate his homecoming with a bottle of wine and an exchange of stories. ("Oh, Ed, that's not fair. What have I got to top watching the sun rise over the pyramids?") Susan laughs as she recounts the hearts she's broken, the money saved up from secretarial work, her thoughts on the politics of the day. She doesn't mention anyone breaking her heart though. Maybe no one did.

"Did you mean it," Edmund asks, "when you said you'd go to Paris with me?"

Susan takes Edmund's glass of wine and drinks from it, smiling absently.

Edmund asks, "Did you say that just to bring me back home."

She says, "D'you feel like a dance?"

"What the hell is that?" Arthur moves to take a closer look but is shoved back by Morgana.

"Stop it, you're being intrusive." she says and brings it to show Gaius.

"I think," Gaius says, eyebrowing the fox, "it is time for me to look in my Ye Olde Pokemon Handebooke."

Crap, damn you non-paid account.

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Page 1 of 4

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Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part One (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)

Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part Two (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)

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'Skins' in Narnia!

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LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: 'Skins' in Narnia!

Merlin/Pokémon

Re: LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: Merlin/Pokémon

Re: LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: Merlin/Pokémon

Monstrous Regiment - the thievery and shenanigans AU

last battle revisionism ftw

<--- COUGH

Re: <--- COUGH

strictly BYOB

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part One (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)

Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part Two (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)

no subject

no subject

'Skins' in Narnia!

no subject

LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: 'Skins' in Narnia!

Merlin/Pokémon

Re: LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: Merlin/Pokémon

Re: LB AU's are my specialty!

Re: Merlin/Pokémon

Monstrous Regiment - the thievery and shenanigans AU

last battle revisionism ftw

<--- *COUGH*

Re: <--- *COUGH*

<--- COUGH

Re: <--- COUGH