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strictly BYOB
I'm going to try something. It requires your participation! And perhaps some sparkly text:
~*ROUND-ROBIN COMMENTFIC PARTY!!*~
That's right! Right here on this post. Here's how it works, I think:
1. Anyone can reply to this post with commentfic. Anyone can start, and anyone can continue. That's right, even you!
2. Any genre, any ship, any fandom. Crossovers okay!
3. One commentfic thread is allowed to branch off into several commentfic threads. TITS, you can click 'Reply to This' at any point in an established thread.
4. You can comment with just one sentence, or you can go up to the character limit. If you exceed the character limit, post two comments. Whatever.
5. Threads will go for as long as they have to.
6. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
These guidelines will be added to/modified as the situation arises. Questions/concerns? Go!
That's right! Right here on this post. Here's how it works, I think:
1. Anyone can reply to this post with commentfic. Anyone can start, and anyone can continue. That's right, even you!
2. Any genre, any ship, any fandom. Crossovers okay!
3. One commentfic thread is allowed to branch off into several commentfic threads. TITS, you can click 'Reply to This' at any point in an established thread.
4. You can comment with just one sentence, or you can go up to the character limit. If you exceed the character limit, post two comments. Whatever.
5. Threads will go for as long as they have to.
6. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.
These guidelines will be added to/modified as the situation arises. Questions/concerns? Go!
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... as soon as I'm done being high on numbing shots and giggling at my siblings a lot. I shall return!)
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The streets of Camelot are stuffed with a volume of revelers unseen since the last time the Narnians were here. When Arthur lifted the ban on magic, his people embraced it as he has. The Narnians are well-loved in Camelot, what with their habit of bringing a retinue of talking animals, which amused the children, and party-mongering fauns, which amused everyone else. Now they are back, and there are rumors of a new treaty to increase Camelot's prosperity, and a festival in the square later this week where the tree-women will dance their wild dances.
From a high window of the castle, two people watch the procession, unsmiling.
"Are you sure?" Merlin asks, though he knows better than to doubt Morgana by now. There's just a part of him - a large part - that doesn't want to believe her on this.
"I saw them in my dream," she says.
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Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part One (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)
When Blair got on the Hogwarts Express the first thing she did was try to find Nate.
She kept an eye out for Serena too, of course, but Serena could take care of herself. Poor Nate could be wandering about, hopelessly lost, or, even worse, sequestered with idiotic Muggleborns. It wasn't his fault his big blue eyes were too trustworthy and his face seemed to say, "I am alone and confused, please take me into your fold and feed me." It attracted exactly the wrong sort of crowd. No, she'd find him, and then they'd seek out the the best compartment. Blair would even give him half her watercress sandwich, if he wanted.
It came as something of an anti-climax when she finally found him already sitting in the best compartment, next to Serena, of all people - who apparently hadn't even bothered to look for Blair, her best friend - and laughing at something that horrible Bass boy said.
Blair yanked the compartment door open so hard the glass rattled ominously. (She could practically hear the beginning of her mother's lecture about Tantrums In Public.) Serena didn't even have the decency to look guilty, instead smiling warmly and giving Blair a little wave.
"Where have you been?" Blair said in what the hoped was a cold and imposing manner.
Serena shrugged. (Shrugged!) "I was going to look for you, but then I ran into Nate, and Chuck invited us to sit in his compartment-"
"His compartment?" Blair said shrilly. Surely he couldn't have reserved the compartment, Blair herself had tried several weeks previous.
"Something wrong, Waldorf?" Chuck said coolly.
Blair was about to snap back, but Serena blithely continued, as if neither of them had said anything. "Anyway, I figured you'd find us eventually. Which you did!" Serena flashed her another warm grin and Blair's annoyance began to dissipate. There was no sense in being upset with Serena, it was just the way she was. Flitting from person to person, thought to thought, like a very large, golden butterfly.
Besides, at that moment Nate smiled up at her and said, "I'm glad you're here, Blair." Blair felt her chest clench up and her stomach flutter weakly. Nate was here, and he was fine, and that was what the wanted. She could handle other people taking care of him, she could. In fact, she appreciated it.
"Me too," she said simply, and sat down between him and Serena. There was more room on Chuck's side of the compartment, but Blair would rather be sorted into Hufflepuff than sit next to him. Well, maybe not Hufflepuff. Slytherin, then. Blair laced her fingers through Nate's and gave Chuck a smug smile.
He made a big show of rolling his eyes, but Blair saw the corner of his mouth twitch slightly. Ha, she thought, Waldorf: 1, Bass: 0.
Satisfied by her minor victory, Blair took the opportunity to direct the silence in the compartment towards something stimulating. "So," she said brightly, "What House do you think you'll be sorted into, Nate?" Nate opened his mouth to respond, but Blair surged on. "I'll be a Ravenclaw, of course. Everyone know it's the best House."
Gossip Girl Goes To Hogwarts - Part Two (WARNING: EXTREME CRACK AHEAD)
"What, Charles?" Blair said icily, trying to imitate the voice her mother used when a model was being especially imbecilic.
"Ravenclaw?" Chuck replied scathingly, "Please, everyone knows Slytherin's the only House with any real merit. Ravenclaws are all insufferable know-it-alls."
"Besides," he added, almost as an afterthought, "Ravenclaw is so tragically plebeian. Not as much as Hufflepuff, I suppose, but it's not like that's some great achievement."
The compartment was deathly quiet. "Chuck-" Serena began, her voice a little sharper than usual, but Blair ignored her.
"My mother," she said slowly, "was a Ravenclaw."
Chuck's expression remained derisive, and as Serena, frantically trying to calm the mounting tension, blurt out, "My mother went to Beuxbatons!," he drawled, "Exactly my point."
Blair bristled dangerously, and ignoring Nate tugging at her hand and Serena babbling about how nice France was at this time of year, said, "Well, the only thing Slytherin's good for is grooming dark wizards. You're father would know something about that, wouldn't he, Chuck? As for your mother, well, hard to say what with her being DEAD-"
"At least my father didn't abandon me and run off to France with a man-"
"My FATHER-"
"Stop."
Blair and Chuck stopped sniping at each other and looked at Nate in shock. Nate never raised his voice. His face was pale, almost ashen, and he had his arms wrapped around his knees, holding himself in tightly. Belatedly, Blair realized he must have yanked out of her hold at some point; she hadn't even noticed. And oh God, how could she have been so stupid, everyone knew about Nate's father and the Dark Lord. What had she been thinking?
"Oh Nate, I'm so sorr-" she began, but before she could even finishing saying, 'Sorry', Chuck cut in.
"Forget it, let's talk about something else. How's Puddlemere United doing this year, Nathaniel?" Nate flashed Chuck a grateful smile and began talking animatedly.
Blair seethed (a little voice pointed out that she had wanted to get Nate to cheer up, and Chuck had certainly done so, but she ignored it). Why couldn't Chuck just leave them alone? Nate and Serena were hers, he could bloody well find someone else to take care of, no one stole Blair Waldorf's people without a fight. Chuck shot her a glance, looking quickly at Nate and then back at her again, as if to say, Leave it. Blair glared, but nodded.
Fine, a temporary ceasefire for Nate's sake, she could do that. Blair was excellent at being the Bigger Person.
SORRY FOR THE 394230940 EDITS
disclaimer: all i know of gossip girl is through fandom osmosis
Still, when the hat hollered SLYTHERIN!!, she felt a strong urge to sit in a darkened corner and blame things on the world. She was supposed to be in Ravenclaw! Maybe she should've gone to Beauxbatons. Those French Veelas were supposed to be total bitches, but Blair could take them. Now she was going to have to spend the next seven years living in the house known for churning out megalomaniacs and mass murderers. Great. Just great.
"Aww, cool, B," said Serena. "I always thought you looked good in green."
+
"Are you American too?"
Blair looked up from her supper and thought, I didn't think parents would let kids bleach their hair this young. The boy seated across the table had hair slicked back with god knows how much hair gel, and had an expression on his face that... well, it wasn't disdainful, per se. More like the face was readying itself to be disdainful at the first opportunity. Blair was familiar with this facial expression.
"I'm from Manhattan," she replied.
"There's a lot of you Yanks running around this year," he said. "Have they not got wizarding schools in America?"
Blair smiled her dangerously patient smile. "I decided to expand my horizons."
DEAR LASS, I LOVE YOU. Also, your Serena is GOLD, PURE GOLD.
YOU CAN ALWAYS OWL YOUR MOTHER FOR YOUR OTHER HEADBANDS
AHAHAHA, OH BLAIR! ALL BOYS EXCEPT NATE AND HIS MANBANGS ARE TOO TACKY FOR YOUUU
Serena! <33
Five million points for them thinking the house loyalty thing is ridiculous. LOVE LOVE LOVE
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GUM! <333
'Skins' in Narnia!
And snow.
"This is some crazy global warming shit," said Anwar. Then he added, "Ow! What was that for?!" because Jal smacked him.
"You're a liar!" Jal accused. "You told us Cass was just pilled up! You wanker, you apologize to her right now!"
"'S'alright, Jal," said Cassie, smiling at Anwar with self-satisfied sweetness. "Some people just don't know when to stop pretending."
Chris cut in, "Are you sure we're not high?"
Jal gave him one of her Looks. "Only you would ask that question."
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LB AU's are my specialty!
"The Marigold. She crosses from Dover to France in three days. The funeral's over, we can sell the house from abroad. I'm going to be on it. You should come with me."
"Traveling won't fix anything, Edmund," Susan says, and her red lipstick is like a scar across her face. He can't think of the last time he saw her without her makeup on. "There's no way to forget, and we aren't ever going to travel far enough."
"But wherever we go won't be here, with all the memories," Edmund says. "That's the important part. You haven't slept in days, Susan. Come with me."
"I'll think about it," she says, and her heels click on the wood as she heads up the stairs. Edmund doesn't move, just closes his eyes and leans back.
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Edmund's on the deck looking back at the crowd on the docks, a'flutter with flags and handkerchiefs, the people being left behind waving goodbye to the people going ahead.
There might be a white handkerchief for him back on the docks, from a sister whose mask has now succeeded in shutting even him out, the one who understood her the best. But he doubts it.
He's in Morocco, six months later, when the letter reaches him. It's covered in stamps and writing from dozens of postmasters who had sent the letter on, as if it were a faithful dog always two cities behind.
Re: LB AU's are my specialty!
last battle revisionism ftw
especially Susan&Edmund!
I can join? :)
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Re: I can join? :)
eeeee Pevensies!
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IF I COOK THIS WILL YOU EAT IT <33
susan has experimented before! it has not always gone this well!
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Merlin/Pokémon
'This' turns out to be a strange animal, sitting on Arthur's bed and looking around as if lost. It is gripping a bone tightly in both paws, and its head is almost completely covered, worryingly, by what looks like another animal's skull.
"Yes, Merlin, I can see that," Arthur says, rolling his eyes, when Merlin tells him what it is. "What's it called? I've never seen anything like it."
"If I knew what it was called," Merlin says, "don't you think I would've mentioned that?"
"You're useless," Arthur says, rolling his eyes. "Take its helmet off so we can see its face."
"Why can't you do it?" Merlin demands.
Arthur gives him a look.
Manservant. Right.
Merlin approaches the animal, carefully, and puts out a hand to touch the skull. The animal hits him over the fingers with its bone, which hurts, and then bursts into tears.
Merlin and Arthur stare at it.
"I think maybe we should just ask Gaius," Merlin says.
"What you have just described to me," Gaius says, giving Merlin a very strange look, "is a Cubone."
"Great," Merlin says. "What do we do with it?"
"Well, I think we consider how in the world you could have seen one," Gaius says. "It is a creature of legend. Cubone do not exist."
"Right," Merlin says. "Well, it might not exist, but it's here. In the castle."
Gaius raises an eyebrow, and then there's a knock on the door and Morgana enters, carrying what looks like a fox cub in her arms.
"I'm sorry," she says, keeping her voice low. "I think it's been attacked. I don't know whether you can treat it, but..."
"Pix," the fox calls, weakly, and Merlin suddenly realises that he has never seen a fox with six tails before.
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To
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<--- *COUGH*
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(Anonymous) - 2009-08-05 20:26 (UTC) - ExpandMonstrous Regiment - the thievery and shenanigans AU
The fact of the matter is, Polly really isn't sure how she managed to assemble her squad, and a little bit uncertain of the details on how she let Mal join, and still a little queasy about the possibility of Tonker burning down headquarters, and worries that one day an angel will strike her dead for making Wazzer get moving and stop praying, but in the end no matter how much she complains, she really likes them.
They make for a good team, and she's proud of them, and unlike some people (she's not pointing any elbows, but a certain coffee-crazed second-in-command could stand to listen) she doesn't mind letting them know.
She is especially indulgent with her compliments on nights like tonight, when their meals for the next two months are guaranteed even after everyone is paid off. (Who worries about lodging? The foreclosure crisis has made things much too easy on them.)
Really, though, it only takes one small incident to snap her entire good mood.
"Mal, I swear, are you spending all your money on exotic coffee again?" she snaps, and Mal shifts and looks guilty and tries to hide the bag behind her back.
"No," Mal says. "Of course not!"
Polly would go visit Shufti, but she is fairly certain Shufti brought a guest home tonight, and she would go entertain herself with Wazzer, but Wazzer is praying again and Polly really doesn't want to encourage death-by-angel more than she already has, and she would - okay, no, she'd never really consider hanging out with Tonks and Lofty at night, because fire would be involved.
Which leaves her Mal, who is cranky because Polly's being commanding, enigmatic as always, and dressed in black again.
Maybe she should just hibernate in her room for a while.
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Man I want to comment-fic, but I fear that the only things that will happen will be like REMEMBER THAT TIME THEY WERE DINOSAURS? Or else some sort of terrifying Band of Brothers/X-Files crossover AU thing. WHERE THEY ARE DINOSAURS. IN THE DINOSAUR FBI. Or something
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MERLIN/STARDUST. I... I...
*grins*
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The travel back in time AU
She wakes in a heap on what appears to be a castle's doorsteps, if it can be called that. It is a great looming fortress, the gray stones darkening to black by sheets of rain. The large, plain doors are firmly shut. It has nothing on Cair Paravel.
The doors will not be opening tonight, that much is clear. She's soaked to the bone and smells awfully of wet wool and mud, but she hasn't really got a choice. With a frown and a huff, she curls herself up into a ball to wait.
There was
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She's not sure when the rain lulled her to sleep, but the second time, she wakes to insistent prodding of her shoulder and soft, sharp hisses of, "Lucy. Lu!"
"Wha-huh?" She peers up blearily. A small part of her brain is screaming at her to wake up in faster, but England has done a number on her reflexes.
"Over here, Lu."
Lucy looks straight ahead to find Edmund crouching down in front of her. He's just as soaked as she is. "Edmund?"
He nods and throws a quick glance over his shoulder. "How long have you been here?"
Lucy shrugs. "Where's here?"
"Only one way to find out," Edmund says, standing and offering her a hand.
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because i always need more edmund/effy
Effy isn't alone on the beach. A few paces down towards the water, a boy with a sword is staring at her in shock. He opens his mouth, as if to ask her where the fuck she came from, but then seems to think better of it and snaps it shut.
Effy smiles and says nothing back.
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Her pupils are dilated, her hair is askew, and she smells of alcohol and woodsmoke. She says, "What a big sword you have."
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...remember that time they were dinosaurs?
Of course Gwen Raptor is worried, at first. Morgana Raptor may be her superior officer, but she is also her best friend, and they have known each other since they were laboratory-hatched, which means that Gwen Raptor knows how dangerous it can be when Morgana Raptor has her territory infringed upon. A hyper-aggressive Morgana Raptor can only mean one thing. Or two things, really, but the other....
Oh. Well. Oh.
When it all goes to hell (figuratively: Gwen Raptor is a highly evolved dinosaur and doesn't believe in bullshit human theological constructs) Gwen Raptor is actually quite surprised; they had seemed so happy, arguing over tactical benefits of flanking and the most efficacious treatment of insubordinates and other lower life-forms.
"She says she needs to follow her biological imperative," growls Morgana Raptor, tearing into the goat with more viciousness than is strictly required. "We can't be together because she needs to make babies. Or some shit."
"Doesn't she know that dinosaurs are hatched in labs?" asks Gwen Raptor, skipping to the pertinent points.
"Who the fuck knows? I'm done. What the fuck kind of name is Raptor Red anyway?"
"And this is why frat regs exist," says Merlin Raptor sagaciously. "Sir. I mean. This is why frat regs exist, sir."
"I hardly think - " starts Gwen Raptor, but falls silent when Morgana Raptor turns her head to glare at her. This is one place where raptors are inequipped to deal with certain everyday problems, she thinks. Eyes on the side of your head mean that you have fucking fantastic peripheral vision, but it also makes it very difficult to stare people down without going cross-eyed.
"Anyway," she says. "Wouldn't Arthur Rex technically be our commander in chief? Which means your little dalliance with him violates frat regs also."
"Okay number one, no. And also -." Merlin Raptor is interrupted by Morgana Raptor who says complacently, "Arthur is too fat for command."
There is a brief silence during which they all consider this, and then Merlin Raptor (totally unsurprisingly) says, "I don't think physical fitness is an actual requirement for the position."
"Did I give you permission to speak, private?" snaps Morgana Raptor.
"Well, no, not actually, but I really think - "
Morgana Raptor draws herself to her full height. "This is insubordination. I will tolerate insubordination. It damages the integrity of our unit and I will not allow that. You can run forty laps around the compound, private, if you're so inclined to use that excess energy, and then we'll see if you have anything left to say."
"Sir, I don't think you're being fair," Gwen Raptor says.
"And you can run with him, if you're so worried about his welfare," thunders Morgana Raptor.
"Don't yell at her," says Merlin Raptor, who is really in enough trouble already.
"You're beginning to sound like Arthur Rex," Gwen tells Morgana Raptor.
Morgana Raptor begins to speak and stops. "Oh Darwin," she groans. "I am. I sound just like him. And soon I'm going to be fat too and lonely and all the fucking cows will laugh at me the way they laugh at him and all because of some stupid girl."
"That's a little extreme," says Merlin Raptor uncertainly, and Gwen Raptor moves closer to Morgana Raptor to say, as gently as she can, "Just talk to her. Merlin Raptor is the only male raptor in the unit, and he's too busy being charmed by the fatness of Arthur Rex - " ("I'm not," insists Merlin Raptor loudly. "I'm not being charmed by Arthur.") "-Merlin Raptor is too busy being charmed by the fatness of Arthur Rex, so that really doesn't leave her may options. The way for true love is clear."
"It doesn't work like that," says Morgana Raptor (Gwen Raptor thinks she is worryingly close to sighing.)
"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try," she says, and Morgana Raptor finally accedes.
and then it exceeded the character limit?
"What, Merlin?"
"You know, Raptor Red is right. We do have a biological imperative."
"To do what?" she asks. "To make more petri dishes?"
"Oh for Mendel's sake. You know exactly what I mean."
"Merlin Raptor," she says sweetly. "What you're suggesting couldn't possibly be a violation of fraternization regulations, could it?"
She wonders if she should do the
humanemagnanimous thing and spare him, but it his embarrassment is awfully entertaining, and she thinks that with Morgana Raptor busy, entertainment might be in short supply for a while.Of course, Morgana returns at exactly this moment, her raptor-face looking tentatively happy. "What's going on?" she asks, and Merlin Raptor jumps a foot in the air.
"I've solved the mystery of Raptor Red's appearance!" he announces. "She's time-travelling."
Gwen Raptor thinks she will be nice to him. After all, there are plenty of things she can think of that will fluster him even more.
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UNLESS
OMG WHAT IF THEY WERE
and then there was that time they were FBI agents (I kind of hate myself, kthnx)
Dick says, "I think you missed New Jersey, Nix."
Nixon keeps his eyes on the road. "Yeah, about that," he says. "I know you had your heart set on New Jersey, Dick, but I might have lied. We're not actually going there."
"Oh." Dick smiles slightly, dryly, at his mouth. "I thought you might have wanted to see America while I was asleep."
"Don't you want to know where we're going?" he asks. Spending two and a half years of your life with the same guy will teach you some things, even if you don't want to know, but that doesn't need to make everything easy.
"I'm sure you'll tell me when you feel like it," replies Dick.
"The truth is, Dick, I didn't expect you to come." He snickers mentally, and collects himself. "We're going to Washington. The FBI, specifically. It's not Chicago, but it's the best I can do on short notice."
He's gratified to notice that Dick looks at him a little more sharply. "Mind telling me why?"
He smiles. "It's like this. I went to some school for a while - "
"I might have heard something like that."
He keeps his eyes on the road, pays very close attention to the position of his hands on the wheel. "This is what I did after that," he said.
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Sometimes Arthur takes part in the nightly patrol of Nijō castle. It's quite then, and while he can see fires still burning in the lower town, on the walls the only thing he can hear is his armour as it clanks up against his sword. There's no one to guard against, not really. None of the daimyo would dare to attack the shogun's palace and there hasn't been outright war since early in Uther's reign. Still. Just because they can't attack outright doesn't mean that they won't attack in dishonorable ways.
There have been whispers of ninja, assassins and spies that no daimyo with honour would dare have in their retinue. Bushidō forbids it, but then again most of the daimyo have more in common with rats than with true samurai. Even though Uther has forbidden anyone from practicing ninjutsu on pain of death, people still try. The headsman has never been completely devoid of purpose.
But on nights like tonight, clear and just warm enough that Arthur's bamboo and metal armour was comfortable rather than stifling, Arthur found it hard to dwell on the problems that his country faced. Behind him a breeze blew through his father's tea garden, causing the leaves to rustle and drawing his attention to the soan. Naturally at night time the hut was dark, and Arthur could barely see the thatched roof. Tomorrow morning both he and Merlin would hide yawns as they did performed the daily Uther mandated chanoyu ceremony. At least the tea would be a welcomed awaking to an early morning.
NEXT INSTALLMENT: MERLIN IS A NINJA AND TEACHES MORGANA NINJUTSU!!!!!11!
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MERLIN IS A NINJA AND TEACHES MORGANA NINJUTSU!!!!!11!
WHERE IS IT.
Do we get to meet the ronin they call Lancelot?! What about Gwen? What is her deal here?
... sometimes I misread things, and then Lucy Liu ends up in Narnia.
"May I ask, O Lucy Daughter of Eve," ventured Mr. Tumnus, "how you have come into Narnia?"
Lucy shrugged eloquently, and grumbled under her breath, "I guess Uma and Quentin got stoned and watched Pan's Labyrinth again."
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AMAZING.
So that makes, what, Quentin Peter, Uma Susan, and who is Edmund? Steve Buscemi? AAAAHHHH. omg, imagine the gifts they get from Father Christmas.
"For you, little one--" says Father Christmas.
"I'm not little," Lucy cuts in.
"Er. Here is a flask, made of the clearest crystal, mined from the mountains of Archenland!"
Lucy unscrews it and sniffs. "What's in it?"
"Whiskey." Father Christmas turns to Uma. "And for you, Daughter of Eve: a katana, of the highest quality!"
Uma raises an eyebrow as she inspects it. "Also mined from Archenland?"
Father Christmas shrugs. "No, we commissioned it from Hanzo. Forced him out of retirement. You know it goes."
Uma nods. "Arigato."
"And for you, Quentin--"
"Yes?" Quentin cuts in, eyes shining in anticipation. "What do I get? No, don't tell me. Shuriken! No, not flashy enough. Flamethrower? A gun with a neverending cartridge?"
"For you, son of Adam," Father Christmas says, taking it out of his sack with the utmost care, "a motherfucking Uzi."
"Yesssssssssss."
plz to shoot me already (that time Arthur was in Bastogne and there was gratuitous Lipton/Luz)
The first thing Arthur says when they reach Belgium is, "I'm going to make sergeant by the time we reach Berlin."
"So by Christmas then?" says Merlin, and Arthur glares and makes to drop his bayonet on Merlin's foot.
They dig in, and Arthur is suspiciously quiet, and makes no retort when Merlin says he's cold, not even when he complains that his ears are going to fall off (an easy target if there ever was one) and it's all sort of weird and fucked up.
If Merlin didn't know better, he'd think Arthur was scared, but he does know better, so he doesn't know what to think.
Arthur drags Merlin away from Babe and Guarnere - it turns out they're from Philly too, his mother was from Philly, well before she moved to New York, but that's not really important; they have a shared heritage - with a muttered "Sorry, sir, won't happen again" and afterwards he glares and Merlin and says, "This is hard for you to understand, but these are Toccoa men."
"You're damn right it's hard for me to understand. What the fuck does that mean? And anyway, Heffron isn't," he finishes eloquently.
"It means they were training before you even knew there was a war on," says Arthur viciously. "It means they fought at Normandy and Market Garden. It means they're better than you, so shut the fuck up, Merlin."
And then he asks Arthur for a cigarette; it's fucking cold and he's getting a headache on top of it, and Arthur mumbles that he doesn't have any, he gave them away, and yeah, he thinks he gets it after all.
George Luz is by far Merlin's favorite man in E Company, and if this is maybe a little because he knows that Arthur admires and respects him, that's really not that important; Arthur has good judgment when it comes to people. Sometimes. What's important is that he's the funniest man in either platoon and a damn good radio op (well, so Merlin's heard, and he's sort of willing to give the benefit of the doubt in this situation) and Merlin likes him.
Arthur may want to end the war as company first sergeant or whatever, but if Merlin can end up in Luz's paygrade and still be relatively sane, he'll be happy with that. Merlin's never been afraid of much, but Arthur's "replacement-and-therefore-inadequate" attitude is fucking insidious and even before the mortars start falling, he's half-convinced that he's going to shit himself when they do.
If he ends this war with his sense of humor intact (or at least without having killed Arthur and pretending it was the Krauts, which is pretty much the same thing) then that's all he'll need, thank you very much Arthur.
"You know, Webster went to Harvard. Who got shot Holland? And they like him fine. And Nixon, Nixon was at Yale."
"Speak when spoken to, Merlin," comments Arthur without opening his eyes. "And stop listening to other people's conversations."
"Maybe you should start listening when people talk to you, and this wouldn't be a problem," retorts Merlin.
Arthur ignores him (hah!) and says, "Who the fuck is singing?"
"Alley and I think Liebgott," answers Merlin, "Sounds like anyway." He raises his voice to sing along.
"Are you trying to get us killed?" demands Arthur.
No point in saying that Liebgott and Alley started it, so he just says, "Fuck you" and scrambles out of the foxhole to join them.
yeah, I don't remember that either tbh
And he begins to notice that Skip Muck is brasher around Malark and Penkala and that Buck spends all his time telling everyone to be careful, and Arthur is his normal arrogant self around the other replacements and grave and deferential to his superiors, and that's comforting too, to know that this is normal.
"Back already?" Arthur says when he returns.
"Lipton threw me out."
"Sergeant Lipton, Merlin," says Arthur.
"That's what I said," he responds, puzzled.
Arthur heaves a sigh and stares at the sky as if praying for patience or explosions, whichever comes first.
He gives Doc Roe his morphine but doesn't like it; he keeps wondering what if Arthur gets hurt; he can deal with a lot of shit but being helpless isn't one of them; but then Arthur doesn't quite wait until Doc is out of earshot to say, "This is fucking bullshit," and he feels a lot better.
"I'm sorry that you're going to die in Belgium instead of France or Holland," he says. "But I think we'll get the chance to prove ourselves in battle anyway."
Arthur opens his eyes long enough to roll them and says, "I think I'm going to have to live till the end of this war just to see you prove yourself in battle." His mouth turns up a bit at the corners, and he reaches across to take what's left of the cigarette that Merlin bummed from Lieb, and it's really fucking cold outside but Merlin can feel Arthur's fingers when they brush across his own.