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"The Devil's Reasons Are Overrated" - an erasure - pg13
I gave the okay for my fics to be commentated on on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dvd_commentary becaaauuuse I'm an attention whore and would flail to no end if anyone actually ever does one. In the grand tradition of attention whores, I am open to bribing you! :-D!
Anyway. For myerasureathon piece, I took two fairly light-hearted Merlin RPF fics about salad-hating and flat-warming parties, and turned it into something that's kind of dark and creepy, and probably isn't Merlin RPF anymore. Um. Sorry, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lovestories?
PS: anyone wanna give me more Top Fives?
The Devil's Reasons Are Overrated
an erasure of salad: the devil's food (shut up, katie) and reason #91 why flat-warming parties are overrated: rocks fall, people die (almost). pg13.
He should have known when he asked her
that something was wrong.
the script, broken,
"you said you were hungry"
And that was the problem really.
He for sympathy but given none.
"go on then, eat it."
he couldn't walk away
set the script down
pull out. peel off
expect a "Fine"
She reached down and ripped off his mouth
pick up the script
rearrange
it would be rude not to inflict any damage
the next morning she wakes up asking why
everyone already thinks to watch his ill will
gaining a reputation isn’t wise.
whenever someone brings a thousand variations, neither intimidating nor together,
this stops.
a look on her face suggests she would like to crawl under him
drive him to hope
and it’s not like he already knew
his mission says a consolation, more so for himself.
“You’re over. You’re over”
as she can’t sleep.
she wants to wake the dead
he’s a fire, hungry
his head a world of conclusions
living as quietly as possible
She opens her door,
makes it through only to
find no one there
And then she sees
a little less
a little more
she wasn’t either of those things.
she rushes in
he wakes.
He jerks, confused.
He doesn’t remember much
“I’m still alive
are you?”
the whole affair, like the blood it stains
was apparent
and sure enough, explaining things
opens a sudden realization
his half a memory only calls because
he doesn’t know she has him
instead.
conspicuously absent
is a room that might contain quiet
As the words from her mouth hit panic because “He’s fine,
honest to God” (in a coma, paralyzed, dead)
“I should go.–”
“I know”
her eyes convey more than words ever could.
“I’m not going to die.”
a joke,
but he doesn’t find it very funny.
to break the silence,
she would claim everything and then
“sorry, I was rambling, just
slap me when I do that”
as if testing to see if he’s just an apparition
And, suddenly, he understands.
He reaches up to take his say, to come close, for a bit.
the stillest Silence falls to break it
and it is close
enough.
dvd_commentary becaaauuuse I'm an attention whore and would flail to no end if anyone actually ever does one. In the grand tradition of attention whores, I am open to bribing you! :-D! Anyway. For my
erasureathon piece, I took two fairly light-hearted Merlin RPF fics about salad-hating and flat-warming parties, and turned it into something that's kind of dark and creepy, and probably isn't Merlin RPF anymore. Um. Sorry, lovestories?PS: anyone wanna give me more Top Fives?
The Devil's Reasons Are Overrated
an erasure of salad: the devil's food (shut up, katie) and reason #91 why flat-warming parties are overrated: rocks fall, people die (almost). pg13.
He should have known when he asked her
that something was wrong.
the script, broken,
"you said you were hungry"
And that was the problem really.
He for sympathy but given none.
"go on then, eat it."
he couldn't walk away
set the script down
pull out. peel off
expect a "Fine"
She reached down and ripped off his mouth
pick up the script
rearrange
it would be rude not to inflict any damage
the next morning she wakes up asking why
everyone already thinks to watch his ill will
gaining a reputation isn’t wise.
whenever someone brings a thousand variations, neither intimidating nor together,
this stops.
a look on her face suggests she would like to crawl under him
drive him to hope
and it’s not like he already knew
his mission says a consolation, more so for himself.
“You’re over. You’re over”
as she can’t sleep.
she wants to wake the dead
he’s a fire, hungry
his head a world of conclusions
living as quietly as possible
She opens her door,
makes it through only to
find no one there
And then she sees
a little less
a little more
she wasn’t either of those things.
she rushes in
he wakes.
He jerks, confused.
He doesn’t remember much
“I’m still alive
are you?”
the whole affair, like the blood it stains
was apparent
and sure enough, explaining things
opens a sudden realization
his half a memory only calls because
he doesn’t know she has him
instead.
conspicuously absent
is a room that might contain quiet
As the words from her mouth hit panic because “He’s fine,
honest to God” (in a coma, paralyzed, dead)
“I should go.–”
“I know”
her eyes convey more than words ever could.
“I’m not going to die.”
a joke,
but he doesn’t find it very funny.
to break the silence,
she would claim everything and then
“sorry, I was rambling, just
slap me when I do that”
as if testing to see if he’s just an apparition
And, suddenly, he understands.
He reaches up to take his say, to come close, for a bit.
the stillest Silence falls to break it
and it is close
enough.
no subject
I think I missed that before. I must correct that mistake when I get back and read the shit out of it. Especially since it has WHEELER. How mad are you that there aren't like a ton of planeteer shirts out in circulation? Come on with all the 80s and 90s stuff coming back into play and the Green trend? It is RIPE.
So I had never heard of this erasure thing, it is fascinating.
I really love this little bit:
a look on her face suggests she would like to crawl under him
drive him to hope
and it’s not like he already knew
It's so awesome. I know I had a writing teacher that once talked about just ripping a story up like that and putting it together on the floor, but I was always too lazy. That's still really neat. I like the sort of jagged feel it has to go with the situation that's conveyed.
PS: anyone wanna give me more Top Fives?
FIVE TIMES THE DRAGON WAS REALLY TEMPTED TO EAT MERLIN AND/OR ARTHUR
and/or
FIVE THINGS WILL WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE'D GONE TO CAMELOT
and/or
FIVE THINGS GWEN IS THINKING WHEN SHE HAS THAT 'YOU GUYS ARE EFFING STUPID' FACE (in the Beginning of the End, whatever the episode was called with Mordred)
And also, what is this dvd commentary thing, it's not really super clear on the info. Like you write as characters giving commentary or as an author doing it? None of the examples from last year were linking up either and I got frustrated like a five year old trying open a jar of peanut butter that's taped shut.
no subject
Thanks. Erasures are fun. Have you seen these erasures (http://humument.com/) by Tom Phillips of some Victorian novel? He arts it up and they're really pretty.
It's the author giving commentary. I did one of one of my Narnia fics, so here's an example (http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/78476.html) for you. They are also fun! I've been considering doing one for 'The Ink Still Drying' 'cos Arthur is an unreliable narrator, and there is some sort of Morgana/Gwen/Lancelot kerfuffle going on in the background that Arthur and Merlin don't care enough about.
no subject
Oh my god. I had not heard of this, but this would be fantastic like woah. Or they'd rape my childhood.
But yeah, god Linka/Wheeler was awesome, it was like the first time I was like, "oh god arguing can mean true love" ruined me for life.
So the comm is you giving commentary on someone else's story or doing commentary on your own? I am familiar with the latter, just the community seems to imply the former.
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DO NOT BE SURPRISED if it's the Will one, as I am uninventive and predictable.
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Oh man, I was skimming through Captain Planet fic I wrote and it feels weirdly dated. Like, "Huh, no Skype or email or Google, huh?"
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This is like that time they played No Doubt on the classic rock hour.
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Oh god, I would have felt like ancient. I remember making a joke to some kids about the Flintstones and they were all blank faced and I almost had a heart attack, I was like, "YOU KNOW WHAT THE FLINTSTONES ARE DON'T YOU?"
no subject