whynot: etc: oh deer (Default)
Las ([personal profile] whynot) wrote2009-08-13 04:19 pm
Entry tags:

"The Devil's Reasons Are Overrated" - an erasure - pg13

I gave the okay for my fics to be commentated on on [livejournal.com profile] dvd_commentary becaaauuuse I'm an attention whore and would flail to no end if anyone actually ever does one. In the grand tradition of attention whores, I am open to bribing you! :-D!

Anyway. For my [livejournal.com profile] erasureathon piece, I took two fairly light-hearted Merlin RPF fics about salad-hating and flat-warming parties, and turned it into something that's kind of dark and creepy, and probably isn't Merlin RPF anymore. Um. Sorry, [livejournal.com profile] lovestories?

PS: anyone wanna give me more Top Fives?


The Devil's Reasons Are Overrated
an erasure of salad: the devil's food (shut up, katie) and reason #91 why flat-warming parties are overrated: rocks fall, people die (almost). pg13.



He should have known when he asked her
that something was wrong.
the script, broken,
"you said you were hungry"

And that was the problem really.

He for sympathy but given none.
"go on then, eat it."
he couldn't walk away
set the script down
pull out. peel off
expect a "Fine"
She reached down and ripped off his mouth

pick up the script
rearrange

it would be rude not to inflict any damage



the next morning she wakes up asking why

everyone already thinks to watch his ill will
gaining a reputation isn’t wise.
whenever someone brings a thousand variations, neither intimidating nor together,
this stops.

a look on her face suggests she would like to crawl under him
drive him to hope
and it’s not like he already knew



his mission says a consolation, more so for himself.
“You’re over. You’re over”
as she can’t sleep.
she wants to wake the dead
he’s a fire, hungry
his head a world of conclusions
living as quietly as possible

She opens her door,
makes it through only to
find no one there
And then she sees

a little less
a little more
she wasn’t either of those things.

she rushes in

he wakes.



He jerks, confused.

He doesn’t remember much
“I’m still alive
are you?”
the whole affair, like the blood it stains
was apparent
and sure enough, explaining things
opens a sudden realization

his half a memory only calls because
he doesn’t know she has him
instead.



conspicuously absent
is a room that might contain quiet
As the words from her mouth hit panic because “He’s fine,
honest to God” (in a coma, paralyzed, dead)
“I should go.–”
“I know”
her eyes convey more than words ever could.

“I’m not going to die.”
a joke,
but he doesn’t find it very funny.



to break the silence,
she would claim everything and then
“sorry, I was rambling, just
slap me when I do that”
as if testing to see if he’s just an apparition
And, suddenly, he understands.

He reaches up to take his say, to come close, for a bit.

the stillest Silence falls to break it

and it is close

enough.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
HE'S OUR HERO. GONNA TAKE POLLUTION DOWN TO ZERO. omg. I still ship Wheeler/Linka like burning. Hey, remember that time when Wheeler was like, "Nice accent, babe. You Russian?" and Linka gets all INDIGNANT like, "I'm SOVIET." lololol. Hasn't there been a Captain Planet movie in development hell for like a forever now?

Thanks. Erasures are fun. Have you seen these erasures (http://humument.com/) by Tom Phillips of some Victorian novel? He arts it up and they're really pretty.

It's the author giving commentary. I did one of one of my Narnia fics, so here's an example (http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/78476.html) for you. They are also fun! I've been considering doing one for 'The Ink Still Drying' 'cos Arthur is an unreliable narrator, and there is some sort of Morgana/Gwen/Lancelot kerfuffle going on in the background that Arthur and Merlin don't care enough about.

[identity profile] miakun.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 05:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Hasn't there been a Captain Planet movie in development hell for like a forever now?

Oh my god. I had not heard of this, but this would be fantastic like woah. Or they'd rape my childhood.

But yeah, god Linka/Wheeler was awesome, it was like the first time I was like, "oh god arguing can mean true love" ruined me for life.

So the comm is you giving commentary on someone else's story or doing commentary on your own? I am familiar with the latter, just the community seems to imply the former.

[identity profile] miakun.livejournal.com 2009-08-15 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I will sign up for one of yours then probably.

DO NOT BE SURPRISED if it's the Will one, as I am uninventive and predictable.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-08-16 01:48 pm (UTC)(link)
!! Woo! Man, I am predictable about Will like it's MY JOB.

Oh man, I was skimming through Captain Planet fic I wrote and it feels weirdly dated. Like, "Huh, no Skype or email or Google, huh?"

[identity profile] miakun.livejournal.com 2009-08-16 05:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Hahaha. The planeteers would probably be like 40 by now, with IPOs and investment portfolios if you included Skype and Google anyway.

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-08-17 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
I was like "no way are they 40" but then I did the maths and it's like OH NO THEY ARE PRETTY MUCH FORTY WHAT THE HELL

This is like that time they played No Doubt on the classic rock hour.

[identity profile] miakun.livejournal.com 2009-08-17 04:30 pm (UTC)(link)
This is like that time they played No Doubt on the classic rock hour.

Oh god, I would have felt like ancient. I remember making a joke to some kids about the Flintstones and they were all blank faced and I almost had a heart attack, I was like, "YOU KNOW WHAT THE FLINTSTONES ARE DON'T YOU?"

[identity profile] twoskeletons.livejournal.com 2009-08-18 01:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Dude it's so weird remembering that the 90s are a forever ago, and that it's beginning to be able to be condensed into mere pop culture references. My childhood as abstract references! I'm barely not a child and the 90s were barely yesterday! Then I'm watching like "Quack Pack" or "Amazing Panda Adventure" or some crap and oh the datedness, geez.