COME LIVE WITH ME AND A BUNCH OF LUNATICS IN A PYRAMID

[whynot]

FILE THIS UNDER "THINGS THAT ARE INEVITABLE".



ONCE UPON A TIME, Jimmy had a falling out with his twin brother and didn't talk with Jacob for years. That other time, Jacob and the Winchesters traded tips on how to make the best home-made EMF. AMIRITE?? There was also that difficult time in his life when Jacob was the Ghostfacers' summer intern. And Stonehenge was totally a seal.

One prompt per comment is awesome, multiple fills per prompt is even awesomer! Fills can be in any format ever: fic, art, descriptions of fic, chatfic, round-robins, haiku, sonnet, CAPSLOCK (which is totally an art form), sculptures out of nosehair and bottlecaps, etc. When filling, it'd be magnificent if you did this in the subject line: FILLED: title, characters, rating.

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, TELL YOUR FRIENDS:
<center><a href="http://lassiterfics.livejournal.com/150485.html"><img src="http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm296/nothereforlong/Untitled.png"> THE ROBOT HEAD SAYS I'M ALMOST OUT OF MINUTES</center></a>

Thank you to 22by7 for letting me deface her beautiful graphic. <333

AAAAAAAAAND GO.

Comments

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

Jacob outs hunters, demons and angels on his radio show, because that's the Real Story. Not everyone's happy with that. Cue in Dean, Castiel and Sam helping him out when hunters and demons alike decide to make this crackpot shut up once and for all.

FILLED: untitled part 2

[kronette.livejournal.com]

first part: http://kronette.livejournal.com/246710.html
the part that answers this prompt: http://kronette.livejournal.com/247061.html

God help me, I WROTE A SEQUEL TO STONEHENGE

Title: untitled part 2
Author: kronette
Rating: PG
Genre: Gen, crossover
Pairing/Main Characters: Jacob Glaser, Castiel, Dean, Sam (slight Castiel/Dean)
Spoilers: for all episodes of Supernatural up to 4x20, “The Rapture”
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3,400
Setting: This is actually placed before what we saw in Stonehenge.

[hrtslkths.livejournal.com]

No, the robot head actually IS on that tortilla. Or piece of naan. OR ANY ASSORTED FLATBREAD.

[vanillafluffy.livejournal.com]

Jacob/the Winchesters/Bobby are all investigating the same crop circle.

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Jimmy/Jacob (they're twins, okay), growing up and growing apart. Fighting over the car radio. Claustrophobic summer days.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Jacob only ever wants to listen to Jimmy Novak's show, but Jimmy hates the guy and his stupid guessing games.

"AM radio sucks," he grumbles, trying to reach up past Jacob to change the station.

"Jimmy," their mother warns. "It's Jacob's turn."

"It's always Jake's turn," he mutters, and when Jacob responds by twisting around from the front seat to grin triumphantly at his twin, Jimmy feels it is well within his rights to poke his Jake's forehead, hard.

"Bitch," Jacob mouths silently, his eyes promising retribution as soon as their mom isn't around.

"Jerk," Jimmy says back, just as silently, just as routinely, just as fervently.

+

Jimmy drives Jacob to MIT that first year, just the two of them in the car all the way across the northern Midwest.

"Driver picks the radio," Jimmy says, slapping Jacob's hand away as it reaches for the dash. He reaches out decisively and the sound of Jimmy Novak's voice fills the stale, unconditioned air. Jacob says nothing, but the look he gives his brother is pure disbelief.

"Maybe I'll miss you," Jimmy allows, "just a bit."

+

"I've been trying to call you for months!" Jacob says when Jimmy finally calls him after the whole robot-head debacle. "Your number didn't work anymore and I couldn't even find you under Glaser in the phone book."

"Changed my name."

"When? Why?"

"You know. Everyone always going on about you, and I was just the other twin, the one who wasn't ever really going to be anything."

Jacob can't really say anything to that, so he doesn't.

"Turned out for the best, didn't it? I believe a lot of stuff, Jake, more than most people, but aliens? On the moon?"

"It was a robot head, bitch."

"Jerk. I'm married now, and I've got a daughter. We've got a good life, and we don't need to be tied to the newest conspiracy theorist. So you've got my number now, you can call if you really need anything, but don't expect me to go around telling people how right you are."

"Whatever." They fall silent. Jacob can hear a little girl's voice shrieking somewhere on the other end, his brother turning away from the phone to respond, and he casts around for an excuse to get off the line.

"Listen, Jimmy, I've got a broadcast on in just a bit, so I'd better go."

"Right...good luck, I guess, with the conspiracies."

"Yeah, yeah." The stop talking again, but neither hangs up.

"So, what's your name now?"

"Novak. I'm Jimmy Novak, now." Jacob laughs, loud and surprised, and Jimmy quickly hangs up, but not quickly enough, because Jacob can hear laughter identical to his ringing out long after the line is dead.


[Jimmy Novak is real. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Novak Mind. Blown.]

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

Jacob in 5x04verse. He goes on a supply run with Dean and Cas. THERE MAY OR MAY NOT BE CROATS. Perhaps there is just angst.

JACOB COULD HAVE STOPPED 5x04, OKAY?

[lexhibition.livejournal.com]

Jacob's not bad with a gun, but Dean doesn't take him on many supply runs because he comes complete with his very own soundtrack, a litany that starts up as soon as they hit the hot zone and the wheels start crunching over bones.

"I tried to tell them," Jacob says, and no one is surprised that he smiles as he does (You get used to these incongruities in the Apocalypse). "I said 'Don't get the vaccine, it's all a conspiracy' and nobody listened to me! I-"

"Shut the fuck up." Cas cuts him off.

Dean doesn't bring Jacob in supply runs unless Cas comes too. There's something about each that cancels the other out.

Like the way Jacob explains opiates to Cas, and for a few blissful hours Dean gets some peace from blue-eyed accusation.

Like the way Cas just laughs, scornful, when Jacob wants to bring back a computer because he thinks he can program something to find a cure. Dean could never explain how fucked they are quite so eloquently as that.

"Both of you shut up," he tells them, and a few years ago the matching expressions in his rear view mirror would have been a joke.

Hell, maybe it still is a joke. It's just a really bad one. Dean presses his foot down harder on the gas.

[amavissem.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah 5x04 that's a thought! ^^ Future!Cas isn't future!Cas or Jimmy he is Jacob who is batshit crazy and freaks past!Dean out. (Dean/Jacob!Cas maybe?)

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED. THIS IS TOTALLY WHAT HAPPENED. AND THAT THING ABOUT CAS GOING CRAZY AND KILLING AND REVIVING A ROACH OVER AND OVER AGAIN? SAD BUT CANON.

[lassroyale.livejournal.com]

Dean, after listening to a radio show by a crackpot named Jacob, decides to meet him. He's a breath of painful nostalgia for Dean: excited like Sam over his theories, crazy like Chuck, has a voice like Castiel. They begin to hang out...and then become a little more than just friends.

And then Castiel comes back into Dean's life.

FILLED: Unabashed threesome thing, Dean/Jacob/Castiel, NC-17

[hrtslkths.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this doesn't really touch on the great backstory you provided in favor of just going straight for crappy porn. Sorry?
-------------
Dean hated to admit it, but fucking Jacob was a lot better than fucking Castiel. For one, and perhaps most importantly, Jacob had quite a bit of sexual experience for a crazy shut-in scientist. He knew his way around a cock and lasted quite a bit longer than Castiel could even with divine intervention.

Sure, Jacob’s voice wasn’t as deep, his hair not as wild, and no tie for when they really needed a little restraint, but he would do. Castiel had walked out of Dean’s life anyway, not even pausing to say goodbye. Dean wasn’t going to wait around forever. Was it weird he tracked down Jimmy Novak’s estranged twin brother? Dean didn’t think so. And it wasn’t like Sammy or Castiel was around to look at him sideways.

Of course, Dean’s luck in that regard had to end sometime. Unfortunately, it happened to end while Dean was giving Jacob a rather enthusiastic blowjob. He was really just getting started, still teasing Jacob’s cock with a slow tongue when he felt the air in the room shift slightly. Then Jacob tensed up and not in all the right places. “James?” he said, pushing Dean away and trying to cover himself.

Dean swore. Repeatedly. “God damn it, Cas! You fucking asshole!”

Castiel looked at Jacob then tilted his head at Dean. It had been six months, but Dean could still hear exactly what Castiel was saying with those eyes.

“You’re not Jimmy?” Jacob asked Castiel.

“No,” Castiel said. “I’m Castiel. Angel of the Lord. Your broth—“

“Cas, save it.”

“An angel? I’m not that crazy,” Jacob said.

“It’s a really long story,” Dean said. “And it probably doesn’t end in sex.”

Castiel moved towards them. “Why do you say that, Dean?”

“You’ve been gone for six months, asshole, and you’re in his brother.”

Jacob blushed, refused to make eye contact with Castiel. Dean was suspicious, but his cock was just plain curious.

Castiel said, “It’s been six months here, Dean.” He took off his trench coat. “It’s been a lot longer in Heaven. I’ve missed,” he paused to eye Jacob and take off his tie, “certain earthly pleasures.”

Dean saw Jacob lick his lips. Dean’s own cock wasn’t about to turn down two Castiels, or one Jimmy and one Jacob, or whatever the hell he was about to get because of some grudge against an angel. He could sigil the bastard away tomorrow if he got really mad. For now, he was going to make sure they had enough lube.

[lassroyale.livejournal.com]

Castiel first tried to make Jimmy's twin brother, Jacob his vessel...

(I'd expect epic crack out of this, as Castiel tries to convince conspiracy theorist Jacob, that he's an angel of the lord and not something else, like aliens from Mars.)

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

HAHA. Someone needs to do this.

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

Takes place during "Nightshifter" - Ron calls Jacob's show to discuss his mandroid theory. Jacob is intrigued and goes to the bank where he meets Sam and Dean. As if Dean needed another crazy person to deal with...

[latvela.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Excellent.

Castiel pretends to be Jacob and fills in for him at the radio station so that he won't lose his job.

FILLED

[kronette.livejournal.com]

Castiel looks up at the clock and watches the second hand click over to exactly 9pm. He presses the switches and turns the dials correctly until he sees the “ON AIR” sign light up, then leans into the microphone. “Hello. Callers. This is…Doctor Jacob Glaser, reporting on The Real Story.”

He licks his lips and darts his gaze around until he spots the notes that Jacob had left for him. “Tonight, I would like to talk to you about existence of …” he stares at the page, speechless. “Angels.”

He should have checked with Jacob before agreeing to host the show while Jimmy’s long-lost twin visited his friend Joseph in Maine. He is not going to speak of angels on a radio call-in show.

But he made a promise.

With a scowl, Castiel punches the first blinking switchboard button and barks, “Yes?”

“Uh, hi Jacob. You doing okay?” Castiel has no time to answer before the caller launches into her tirade. “Angels can’t exist because God doesn’t exist. Heaven and Hell are merely tools used by…”

Castiel punches the ‘end call’ button with satisfaction. “We seem to have lost that caller. Next?”

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

Human!Cas goes hunting with the boys. One of his aliases is Jacob Glaser, a scientist and conspiracy theorist. Dean starts to get concerned when Castiel starts really getting into the role. An intervention may be in order.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Casploded twins talk about the things they do to save the world.

Jimmy: "At least you were in control of your own body"

FILLED Heaven x2

[kronette.livejournal.com]

Heaven looked a lot like the computer lab at MIT.

Heaven looked a lot like the family dining room at Thanksgiving.

Both men sighed.

Both men startled at the sound of another in their slice of Heaven and began to look around.

The two Heavens were butted up against each other, with no wall between them. Jimmy looked across his dining room table loaded with food toward the computer lab and frowned. Jacob looked across the computers running no less than four quantum models, the equation for calculating distance between wormholes, the Penrose graphical notation and something that just might be the density matrix renormalization group and frowned.

“Who are you?” they asked at the same time.

“I asked you first.”

“Stop that!”

“I didn’t save the world for this shit,” Jacob muttered as his attention was drawn to the complex diagram on the monitor before him.

“I saved the world,” Jimmy yelled over at the other guy. “At least I helped.”

Jacob set both hands on the table and stood up to glare over the top of his monitor. “I got fried by an EM pulse the likes of which the Earth hasn’t seen since it was terraformed by our predecessors.”

“I’ve been exploded twice trying to save the world. First by Raphael, then by Michael. It was…trying,” Jimmy said faintly as he rubbed his forehead. He still wasn’t sure that God had put all of him back together correctly, even though God created him in the first place. It was just that…exploding. Twice. Was hard on a vessel.

Jacob narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. “I was shot once in the leg and twice in the back, and I still managed to get up and slap the mechanical device into the stop-key, thereby saving the world.”

Jimmy matched the other guy’s stance. “I was a vessel for an angel. He exploded twice. I exploded twice and still got shoved into a tiny part of my own body when Castiel returned.”

Despite the one-up they were doing, that caught Jacob’s curiosity. “You had an out-of-body experience?”

Jimmy huffed, “No, you moron. I had an angel inside me!”

“I was handcuffed for hours.”

“I was chained to a comet for two years.”

Jacob blinked. The man couldn’t mean literally. “Did I mention being fried while saving the world?”

Jimmy sighed and mournfully replied, “At least you were in control of your own body.”

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

Dean/Jacob. Jacob isn't Castiel, but he'll have to do for now.

[hrtslkths.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmm, I bet Dean's scanning the radio for something decent and that voice just gets him. And Dean can probably hold his own in a conversation about things that don't really exist.

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

OH, I GOT ONE I GOT ONE!

The first time Castiel casplodes, he can't use Jimmy's body again, so he moves onto Jacob. The second time, he moves onto Misha. He likes the clothes so he brings them with him.

FILLED part 1

[kronette.livejournal.com]

Castiel scans the Heavens and Earth but cannot locate Jimmy. Fearful his vessel has been permanently destroyed, he searches the globe for a suitable replacement. To his astonishment, he zeroes in on a radio frequency in Massachusetts that is broadcasting with Jimmy’s voice. The vessel looks remarkably like Jimmy, so he begins the same assurances and plans that he did with Jimmy –

Which backfire horribly as Jacob screams bloody murder and all the breakables in his house break. Although Castiel doesn’t have a human body, he sighs. Why is nothing ever easy?

He appears to Jacob in dreams, and after several months, finally convinces the human to allow his presence. He’s content until the final showdown with Michael, and he actually listens to Dean, as if he hadn’t learned his lesson by now.

“Hey, assbutt!” are hardly the last words that an angel would like recorded for the Winchesters Gospel.

Now that he’s lost two vessels, Castiel fears his visitations on Earth are done. No angel could be so lucky to find a third –

And yet he’s drawn to Vancouver, where a strange set-up reminds him entirely too much of hunts with Dean and Sam. But there, going into that very small house, is his vessel.

He whispers his name, hoping that this vessel is as good as Jimmy and can hear him.

“Huh?” the man states and turns around, looking curious. “Is somebody here? If that’s you, Padalecki, it’s on.”

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Jacob's going around the world tracking lines to Stonehenge. Castiel's going around the world looking for God. They keep running into each other.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

CAS IS IN INDONESIA WHEN IT FLATTENS. He is NOT pleased. Still had a lot of jungle to search through for God.

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha. I don't know why but this made me lol so hard. I can just SEE the indignant expression on his face as the jungle flattens around him. Maybe there's even some cursing in Enochian. It's definitely not a good day for Cas.

[control-paradox.livejournal.com]

Jacob ends up in Heaven and eventually runs into sheriff!Castiel (post-movie and SPN S5)

[elanorofcastile.livejournal.com]

Jacob and Ash team up for epic genius adventures in Heaven.

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

JACOB-IN-HEAVEN-HAVING-CRAZY-ADVENTURES IS THE ONLY WAY I WILL ACCEPT JACOB BEING DEAD.

Otherwise, he is still alive, and his ring is a horcrux (man I really need to work on my ring-is-a-horcrux fic)

[twoskeletons.livejournal.com]

JACOB AND JIMMY SHARE A HEAVEN BECAUSE THEY ARE SOOOOUUUUULMAAAAATES. BROTHERS REUNITED IN DEEEEAAAATH.

[hereare-mysins.livejournal.com]

Oh god I want to write it, but exams. OH GOD. ihu.

[robotlizards.livejournal.com]

Conspiracy theorists are the best to fuck around with, Gabriel thinks.

[kronette.livejournal.com]

"You're on the air, caller."

"You know that alien on the moon theory of yours..."

"IT. WAS. A. ROBOT. HEAD. Next caller."

"Are you sure it was a robot head? Could it have been a monkey skull?"

"Next caller."

"What's wrong with it being a monkey skull? Are you saying my theory of Cercopithecus dryas on the moon is less valid than your claim of a robot head?"

"Next caller."

"Now you're just being rude."

"Next caller."


(this author seriously. needs. sleep.)

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Running around Stonehenge, Jacob gets transported back in time to realize that in fact the whole thing was caused by Mordred, Morgana, and Morgause.

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

MERLIN CROSSOVER.

I need one of these. They mentioned Merlin twice. AND I WANT MERLIN/ARTHUR SLASH.

[maskedfangirl.livejournal.com]

REMEMBER THAT TIME JACOB WENT TO THE SUPERNATURAL CONVENTION IN COSTUME AND STARTED ASKING CARVER EDLUND ALL THOSE WEIRD QUESTIONS AT THE Q&A PANEL?

FILLED: A Match Made In VanCon?

[jedimastercait.livejournal.com]

Chuck had seen a lot of crazy shit in his life - oh boy, had he - but the guy who looked like Castiel-dressed-as-Dean was certainly high up there on that list.

Especially when he started asking all those questions.

And most definitely when he started talking about a friggin' robot head.

And absolutely when he started hitting on Dean (the real Dean) at the mixer after the panel.

Not that Dean seemed to mind, but Chuck was sure a certain angel would be pissed. And a pissed-off Castiel was never a good thing.

So Chuck took it upon himself - with a little help from Sam (who said he was doing it to keep Cas from beating his brother's ass) and Becky (who claimed it was for the good of Wincest) to introduce the crazy Cas-lookalike to another conspiracy theorist named Joseph-or-something-like-that.

They hit it right off, and if Chuck was slightly proud of his excellent match-making skills, he didn't mention it.

Not that he was keeping score or anything, but that was the second couple to get together because of The Winchester Gospel.

[maskedfangirl.livejournal.com]

HOW ABOUT THAT TIME JACOB GOT INTO A FLAME WAR WITH SAMLICKER81 WHEN SHE IMPLIED THAT HIS SLASHFIC READ LIKE A HOW-TO MANUAL?

[gleeker13.livejournal.com]

I DON'T EVEN NEED THE FLAME WAR I JUST WANT JACOB-WRITES-SLASHFIC.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

Jimmy and Jacob's brovorce was caused by their mutual love for Amelia, who unfortunately wasn't into twincest threesomes. (someone just shoot me now, please, I'm so sorry for even throwing this out there)

[kronette.livejournal.com]

ITA that Amelia was totally too vanilla for them. So they'll take their love where it won't be mocked.

[metonomia.livejournal.com]

How bout that one time when Cas met up with Jacob and Jacob's EMF-reader went off the charts because of Dean's amulet?