all my keysmash are belong to you

If you know of anywhere in New York where I can put my social science quantitative skills to work, you let me know omg. I need to find an opportunity that lets me volunteer/intern/work for 20+ hours a week for my OPT (Optional Practical Training, but the 'Optional' part is right now kind of a lie). Let me run a regression analysis on your data, baby. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. Let's you and I get serially correlated all night long!

...LOL J/K IT'S ACTUALLY TERRIBLE TO BE SERIALLY CORRELATED. Oh god. To prevent my head exploding from inoperable data sets, a post of Things:

* I'm sure by now everyone has seen the 'Merlin' Children in Need 2009 special. It's like someone sent them crackfic, saying, "Can you film this pretty please???" and they were like, "Oh what the hell, sure why not!!" Also, it is weirdly similar to that commentfic that katakokk and I wrote that one time. ETA2: ZOMG AU!Pudsey!Camelot Meme

* animus_wyrmis, remember the 'Merlin' extras meme we were talking about, with the servants and the guards etc? The Fleet is on top of that shit.

* An interesting article about the hazards of transitioning from fanfic to original fiction. Well, it's sort of a review of Cassandra Claire's 'Mortal Instruments' books, which I've never read, but it makes some salient points that give one food for thought. "Essentially City of Bones reads like fanfic - and I don't mean that as kneejerk indicator of poor quality, I mean that it reads like something constructed for a different purpose, functioning on a different ruleset. Leaving aside any criticisms of the actual style, this scene would probably work - for me - if I read it as fanfic."

* 'Merlin'-related things from my GReader that make me go 'fjlksdfj!': Angel and Bradley!! and KATIE AND ASA!!! <3333

* Wait wait wait. Katie McGrath AND Emilia Fox are both on 'The Queen'?! So I guess this is on my to-watch list now.

I suspect that's all I have to say for now. So, meme time! Respond to this post with a completely made-up memory of you and me.

ETA: God help me, I think I'm addicted to Fuck Yeah Merlin. All these pictures deserve fic: 1) MOTHERFUCKING PENDRAGONS; 2) What comes next in the story of their lives? Vaguely Edward Hopper-ish, no?; 3) Mordred is still crushing on Morgana and no one cares; 3) Uther passes on the sword; 4) Uther and the Lady Catrina take a breather from terrorizing the citizenry; 5) HOLY SHIT IT'S A MAP OF CAMELOT AND SURROUNDING REGIONS; 6) Arthur gets tetchy when he doesn't get his candy bar; 7) To no one's surprise, Merlin is a Death Cab fan; 8) Family photo!!; 9) Hanging with the guys!! <3333; and 10) I don't even know where to begin with this one.

Damn, son, I gotta start hanging out at the Camelot Fleet more often, especially if they're going to have a take your fandom home with you AU minifest. I totally would have been all over that and I am sadface that I missed it! Merlin in New York has already been expanded upon here, but Worcester and Manila have not yet been broached. Let us rectify that!

( Merlin, Will, Gwen, and Morgana in Worcester, Massachusetts )

( Arthur, Lancelot, Uther, and Gaius in Manila, Philippines )

I kind of wanna do that meme where, in the zombiepocalypse movie of your life, who would play you and your friends? And I will choose fandom characters instead of actors/actresses. But it's already 3 AM, so maybe another time. To close: THE GREAT GAIUS MEME!!! \o/ <333!

ETA: Oh Christ, I don't need to be tempted by another ficathon, apocabigbang. But my Merlin/Sandman crossover can count for this, and I already have 3000 words.

YOU GUYS. I MUST KNOW.
What Merlin character am I most like?
MY THREAD
But enough about me! Is it that my subconscious resentment at missing the Crossover Exchange is making me crossoverically productive? Or is it that it is marycontraire's birthday? The latter! Happy birthday, Mary! I am, uh. I am a bit late with this. I meant to post this yesterday, but then got distracted, you know. Anyway, the title is from this Zero 7 song of the same name, 'cos Zero 7 is Edmund/Effy music in my head. This fic is a direct continuation of this.


In the Waiting Line
Narnia/Skins. Edmund/Effy. R.
She takes Edmund far from the world without engulfing him in her own.

( In the Waiting Line )

I'm going to try something. It requires your participation! And perhaps some sparkly text:

~*ROUND-ROBIN COMMENTFIC PARTY!!*~

That's right! Right here on this post. Here's how it works, I think:

1. Anyone can reply to this post with commentfic. Anyone can start, and anyone can continue. That's right, even you!

2. Any genre, any ship, any fandom. Crossovers okay!

3. One commentfic thread is allowed to branch off into several commentfic threads. TITS, you can click 'Reply to This' at any point in an established thread.

4. You can comment with just one sentence, or you can go up to the character limit. If you exceed the character limit, post two comments. Whatever.

5. Threads will go for as long as they have to.

6. If this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to fight.


These guidelines will be added to/modified as the situation arises. Questions/concerns? Go!

Will I be able to get through the next week without cigarettes? I shouldn't be able to, but I suspect I will somehow sneak one in. Hahaha, "I can stop anytime," whatever. THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES. D:

Ugh, mostly I'm just tetchy from personal space issues. I'm finding that if I were Merlin, and Arthur had to be my best friend, I would have turned him into a newt by now. If only he didn't have the disgusting habit of constantly saving my life. SIGH. ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, WHERE ARE YOU. If I were a zombie slayer in the zombie apocalypse, I wouldn't have to worry about shit like this. My only concern would be the fortification of my bunker and effective decapitation techniques. If I were Merlin and Arthur were a zombie, I would incinerate the shit out of hiiiiiiim.

Maybe Merlin should watch some Futurama or X-Files to soothe his ego or some shit. He hasn't watched as many Futurama episodes as he thinks, and he can continue to nurse his life-long crush on Agent Scully as a method of distraction. (Will, though, he always said, "Fuck this scifi shit, man, you gotta bitch up, else you gonna get bitched down." It had made more sense after four beers.)

"It's like this," Will said. "It's like you're Fry, and Arthur is Bender. He only pretends to hate you... or pretends to pretend to hate you. Uh. Either way. Well, he is remarkably human-like for something heartless and manufactured."

"Arthur's not...!" Merlin sputtered, then jabbed a finger in Will's chest. "You're Zoidberg!"

"Hey!"

(SOLVE MY LIFE, CRACKFIC.)

Will grabs Merlin's pack of cigarettes. "For that, I am confiscating these."

So it's Merlin's turn to go, "Hey!" and then possibly they chase each other around the pastures, AS THEY ARE WONT TO DO. Possibly wrestling is involved.


Anyhoozle, remixredux09. If you asked, "Hey, did Lass write Ye Shall Not Surely Die (The Ascension Remix)?" then you are CORRECT, SIR. It is a remix of the thoroughly wonderful Apples by suaine. I just, I saw the pairing, and I couldn't not.

I'll get to the actual reposting sometime soon, but for now here are the vital stats and a link.

Ye Shall Not Surely Die (The Ascension Remix)
Merlin. PG13. Dragon/Hunith, Nimueh. 2142 words. Thanks to animus_wyrmis for the beta.
Walking the line between two worlds.
The first spells were cast in dragonsong, with words older than the first man.

In 4 hours, I'll be mobile for a week. See ya'll after then.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SLEEP FOR THE PAST THREE HOURS AND I JUST WON'T SLEEP. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, BODY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING TIRED OR SOMETHING.

HERE IS WHAT PPL SHOULD WRITE FOR THE 2ND ROUND OF reel_merlin GODDAMN.

Back to the Future. Because Arthur should go back in time and discover that Uther Pendragon was a big dweeb in high school. "THINK, PENDRAGON, THINK."

Fight Club. Morgana has insomnia (MUCH LIKE MY CURRENT SELF) and a shitty job. Her life is ending one minute at a time. She meets the smokin' hot and jaded Nimueh, has all sorts of sexual tension with her, and somewhere along the way, things explode. AWESOME.

The Devil's Advocate. Morgana as Keanu Reeves, Gwen as Charlize Theron, and Nimueh as Al Pacino. Oh come on, this would blow your mind with so much awesome, you can't even. Nimueh helps Morgana ride so high, then FUCKS HER SHIT UP, then FUCKS GWEN'S SHIT UP, and Morgana is like, "NOOOO, GWENNNNN." BUT IT'S TOO LATE. THE MURAL BEHIND NIMUEH BEGINS TO SHIFT INTO SOME CGI HIERONYMUS BOSCH THING, AND NIMUEH IS LIKE LAUGHING EVILLY and Morgana is like "What have I done??" \o/

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Gwen = Arthur Dent, Morgana = Ford Prefect, Merlin = Trillian, Arthur = Zaphod OF COURSE. Gaius = Marvin. Will = the bowl of petunias.

Harry Potter. ...This is too easy.

Jurassic Park. The following is probably true: Merlin + dinosaurs = unparalleled excellence.

THE SECRET FUCKING GARDEN. Not a garden in which one secretly fucks, but the one based on the book by Frances Hodgson Burnett, I just got excited there. Starring picnics on the moor and cuddling in the garden. Co-starring the belief in MAGIC and Arthur as the world's most imperious bedridden boy.

SNAKES ON A PLANE. MORGANA HAS HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING PLANE.

Star Wars! Will is the Wookie.

And I notice the noticeable absence of NARNIA as an option, goddamn, someone should write that shit. It would make my life COMPLETE. I do not even want to hazard a guess as to who Aslan would be, though. Should Lancelot be Tumnus or Oreius? Gaius is probz the Beavers. ETA: Or, you can retell Prince Caspian! :D?

To further alleviate my sleepy sufferings, I implore you to

LOOK AT THIS MOTHERFUCKING GQ MEME

Check out idk_ofc, "because Mary Sue is a four-letter word". Reclaim your right to write an original female character, and challenge your fear of the Mary Sue stigma! Also, it's the last day to sign up for narniaexchange so HOP TO.

Gratuitous GIF is gratuitous:



From multifandom GIF post here. Only the Skins and Anna&Will are relevant to my interests, but it's also got Gossip Girl and some Emma Watson graphics, if those are relevant to yours.

Speaking of GIFs, my paid account will expire in exactly one month, which means I will lose my beloved Merlin mood theme. AUGH. I better start using them more gratuitously. Oh many moods of Merlin, it seems like only yesterday when we first met, but now our separation looms on the horizon.


Uther: Don't worry, Morgana. I've promised your father that your LJ will always be paid for.


Arthur: ...Father never pays for my LJ.

Actually. You don't really need a paid account to use the mood GIFs anyway. And you can use two completely different mood themes and make them interact. ( For example. )

So, whatever.


Uh. Dreamwidth gave me 2 more invite codes, so if any of ya'll want one, just comment up.


ETA, for meme-ish reasons: If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

What is this, senioritis? Spring semester blues? I'm well on my way to being overeducated and dehumanized and it makes me feel spiritually bloated, but also empty. But then I'm like, if these are my problems, then I'm doing pretty good. Don't cry, emo Lass! :(

Writing what I know: I haven't been doing it. Which makes me think hey, what about a fanfic writer AU? Y'know, the one where Morgana is a university student, and she and Gwen have debates over lunch about the finer points of LJ comm posting etiquette ("Post it to a few, sure, but I don't need the damn thing popping up on my flist eight times!"), but they also worry about summer internships and absent-minded thesis advisers who never return your emails on time.

But what show would they fic?! What epic bromantic story can serve as an adequate parallel to 'Merlin', that most unparalleled wonder of ahistorical crack? I toyed with 'Harry Potter' because it's such a mainstay, and Achilles and Patroclus (in which they are not cousins), and Plato and Socrates (in which they are the same age). And then, LIGHTBULB: the show is about Karl Marx (played by Colin Morgan, heretofore known for his stagework) and Friedrich Engels (played by Bradley James, heretofore known for his abs), in the springtime days of youth. Before they were revolutionaries, before the Manifesto and Capital and those horrific beards, they were just Karl and Friedrich, engaging in bar brawls with Prussian loyalists and other such rakish things. They are also trying to win the heart of Jenny von Westphalen (played by Angel Coulby), a young woman of bourgeois lineage whose beauty and kindness ignites both their passions. So, Karl and Friedrich have jealous spats disguised as accusations of hypocrisy! Anthony Head stars as Friedrich's father, the textile tycoon who disapproves of all things non-capitalist and from whom Friedrich steals money to support his BFF Karl. Katie Morgan plays the quick-witted barmaid with a thirst for revolution, and Joe Dempsie plays one of Karl's many former BFFs whom he eventually dumped for being ideologically unsound. It is a show about LOVE and FRIENDSHIP and FOLLOWING YOUR DREAMS.

Okay, so that's the show. In the throes of fannish glee, Morgana tells her stepbrother Arthur about it, which doesn't end well because he is an economics student (to please his father) and he just scoffs all over her face. "There are so many things wrong with this, I don't even know where to begin," he says, but Morgana retorts, "You're missing the point!"

"Which is...?"

"Friedrich/Karl, the OTP that ate fandom!" she crows. "Gwen already had to reformat her laptop because she got adware going on sketchy websites trying to find the newest episode. Thank god she backed up her Friedrich/Karl porn fic. We spent ages hashing out the characterization for that one."

"Oh Christ." Arthur holds up a finger. "First of all, I never want to know. Second of all," he holds up a second finger, "why would you worry about characterization in porn?"

"Because--"

"Third of all: see 'first of all'. If you put half as much effort into your studies as you do into historical porn--"

"Stop it, you sound like Uther."

Another time, over drinks, Gwen says to Morgana, "If we were a TV show, who would people ship?" Her favorite game. "I think quite a lot would ship you/me."

Morgana shrugs. "Probably." And tries not to smile like an idiot when, later, on their way back to their apartment, Gwen slips her arm around Morgana's waist to steady herself, giggly and warm and affectionate.

"I can capslock about you until the comments collapse," Gwen declares, and Morgana kisses her cheek, replies likewise.


And I don't even know what these next set of drabbles are. They've been sitting on my hard-drive for an age. Again, I was feeling like I never write what I know, but that I can't write original characters anymore, so I guess these are sort of a stepping stone. I can perhaps call them the 'directionless 20-something living in New England' AU. Perhaps there will be more in this 'verse, who knows.

( Weymouth and Tilton are on the same commuter line to Boston, so Merlin and Will had made all the usual promises to stay in touch. )

What has two thumbs and is off to the dining hall. That's right!